Snow Stuck (Summers in Christmas)

Prologue

PROLOGUE

STELLA

The hot chocolate in my hands was some of the best I’d ever had.

If I could have somehow captured the taste of this perfect mix of cocoa and sugar with a hint of peppermint in a photo, I would. I didn’t know whose recipe this was, but it was made from scratch and possibly with nectar from the gods.

Unfortunately for me, all I could do was snap a picture of the cup in my hand. I would have to remember everything else myself.

I’d had bad hot chocolate from many places. Whether it was premade powdered mix or made only with water and cocoa powder, the disappointment of a bad drink carried over into whatever would happen next. This incredible one was hopefully the first of many things going my way.

I was already in a good mood when one of my old high school friends invited me to this party. The Christmas season always added some pep to my step, but this year had been especially good.

Not only had my first semester of college ended with me getting As and Bs in all my classes, but I’d also changed roommates from the horrible school-assigned one to my best friend, Winnie. Everything was in order and I only had one goal for this party.

Tonight, I would lose my virginity. Winnie was also attempting the same thing, but she had a higher chance considering she was a total knockout with her light brown skin and long braids. While she hadn’t dated once in high school, she had plenty of opportunities in places that I didn’t.

We could have done it while on campus, but both of us had been far too busy trying to stay afloat with our workloads. But we could have the last week of school if we wanted to.

But I had my sights set on someone not at college.

And he was my brother’s best friend.

My eye had been on Alden Canes ever since I discovered that the opposite sex was attractive, but he always kept me at a frustrating arm’s-length distance. For a while, I got it. I was the annoying little sister of his best friend and he was four years older.

But now, I was an adult, and my plan was in motion.

I’d seen him looking at me when he thought I wouldn’t notice, especially as I’d continued to grow curves over the years. Some would say I was overweight, but I worked hard to love my body.

And when I wore low-cut shirts, I swear I had caught Alden looking twice and then averting his eyes. I could never ask him about it because he was always with my older brother, Nick.

But tonight, Nick was in the middle of a shift at his cashier job. Alden, on the other hand, was free and had been invited to the party by the host, who Alden knew through their older brother. All manner of students from freshmen year to senior were present, which meant Alden wasn’t singled out as the oldest one.

And when he arrived, I’d find him.

I was mingling by the Christmas tree, admiring the house the party was in. It was tastefully decorated, save for the makeshift beer pong table and Walmart snacks thrown on every surface. To add to my memories of this potentially perfect night, I took a few photos of the gorgeous tree beside me.

I was always taking pictures like this. One day I might be able to make it my full-time job, even though the degree I was currently working toward was in a different field.

There was no telling where I would end up, but there was one thing I was willing to guarantee.

My crush on Alden was never going to change.

I could feel it the second he walked in at eight on the dot. I abandoned my photos to watch him. His eyes perused the crowd and he waved at some of the people he knew.

My brother’s best friend had one of those faces you couldn’t help but stare at. His angular jaw and teakwood eyes were what pulled most people in. Sometimes it was the way his raven-colored hair was always styled back on his head. But for me, it was the way he smiled.

It was a rare concept these days. Alden didn’t have a great homelife, especially after his mom died a decade ago. It got worse recently when his father stopped talking to him after marrying an eighteen-year-old girl.

Alden told his father it was wrong, and his father replied that he was going to do what he wanted and to stay away from him if he was going to criticize. They’d never had a great relationship, but this was the final nail in the coffin.

He’d always spent time with us as a kid, but after, he became a real part of the family—a staple at every event.

I was sure Nick wanted me to see him in a brotherly way, but my crush only grew. Especially once he started smiling again.

It took about six months to crack his sad exterior, but he finally let loose when Nick and I were screaming at each other over Mario Kart. We’d traded increasingly petty insults until Alden was laughing. When we saw that, all of the fight left us, and we celebrated him coming back out of his shell.

I was awarded one of these rare smiles when Alden’s eyes locked with mine, and my heart skipped a beat as he approached me.

“Hey,” he said. “I’m surprised you’re not with your partner in crime.”

“Oh, Winnie? She’s on the couch having the time of her life.”

I pointed to the other room, and Alden’s eyebrows reached his hairline when he caught her lip-locked with Kadie Henry, the cheerleader of her dreams. This was the most I’d seen her touch anyone since she usually kept her distance, but nothing could stop her when she was determined.

“Seems like she’s having fun.”

“You know Winnie. She’s always having fun.”

“Except when she’s around Nick.”

“Not everyone can like my brother,” I replied. “I barely like him some days.”

His eyes slid back over to me and I saw him do his familiar double take. The first thing he glanced at was my teal sweater showing off my boobs. He quickly looked away, but his eyes returned, this time traveling over the rest of me. I’d done my makeup perfectly and my cheeks glistened in the low lights of the party.

“Like my sweater?” I asked. “I got it from Target this week. I wanted something that screamed more Christmas, but they were out of red.”

“Red isn’t your best color.”

“Then what is? ”

He looked away and vaguely gestured at the top I was wearing.

A compliment?

Yes.

I waited for him to say something, or worse, walk back what he had just said. He stayed silent.

“Forget how to talk?” I asked demurely.

“H-how is school going? Shouldn’t you be studying?”

“Studying for what? It’s Christmas break.”

“Already?”

“College lets out earlier, remember?”

“Right,” he said, rubbing the side of his neck. “You’re already in college.”

“You helped me move in.”

“It’s still hard to believe you’re mostly out on your own. How’s campus life?”

“It’s ... something. I had a bad roommate this semester but I’ll have Winnie in the next one. I forced our RA to approve moving me.”

“Forced?”

“More like annoyed into submission. Either way, next semester will be way easier. But for now, I get to celebrate my favorite holiday of the year with company.”

“Whose?”

I tapped my finger on my chin, scanning all of the people around me. “I could go get hit on by the football team.” That was a bluff. I doubted any of them would want me around. Alden’s face darkened anyway. “Or hang out with you. ”

“I think I prefer the second thing.”

I was killing it.

“Then I guess I’ll remain here.” I smiled. “I’m a legal adult, so I can make whatever decision I want.”

“I never asked you—does it feel different?”

“Only when the gods of consent came down and told me I could do what I want.”

Alden rolled his eyes, but one corner of his mouth quirked up. “Yeah, yeah. You didn’t even see the real gods anyway. You can’t drink.”

I scrunched my nose. “Not that I want to. But no, it doesn’t feel different to me. Why do you ask? Do I look different?”

“N-no.” He said it a little too slowly.

“Come on. You can admit it.”

The muscles in his neck tightened.

This conversation was charged in ways none of our previous ones had been. Even when we were both minors, I was too awkward, and he was too close to Nick to look twice at me.

But now it was just the two of us and anything could happen.

“You look like you’re ready for a good night.” He rubbed the back of his neck, looking away. “If you wanted to go hang out with the jocks, you could. I won’t tell anyone.”

My eyes stayed on him. “I’m good right here.” I tilted my head, the way Winnie told me looked best, and Alden’s gaze lingered on my neck for a second longer than usual.

“Your hair is curled today,” he said.

“I figured this was a special occasion. Do you like it?”

“It looks nice.” He said it lowly, in a voice I’d never heard before.

“I’m not used to it like this.” I swished it over my shoulder and his eyes followed the movement. “But maybe I’ll curl it more often.”

I waited for the moment that he would look away and pretend he never saw it. But his eyes stayed on me, and I would bask in every second of it.

I took a chance and stepped closer. In his space, I could see the stubble on his jaw and his dark-brown eyes. Christmas lights illuminated him, giving him an ethereal glow.

“You should try some of this.” I held up my cup of hot chocolate. “It’s delicious.”

His hand curled around mine for one second as he grabbed the drink. “Is this where you tell me it’s spiked?”

“Not this time. It’s just delicious chocolate and milk.”

He took a sip from the cup, mouth exactly where mine had been. I bit my lip as I watched him closely.

“It’s good.”

“You have a little on your—” I leaned forward to wipe it from his bottom lip, bringing us closer. His eyes closed as I grazed my thumb over his mouth and I let it linger for a few seconds longer.

My hand trailed to his shoulder. I waited for him to step away and steer the conversation back to something casual.

He did not do that.

I should have gotten him away from Nick much sooner. This was not as difficult as I thought it would be.

My fingers pressed into the hard muscle. “You seem stressed.”

“Yeah, my finals weren’t easy this time, which makes no sense since I’m not in one of the fancy schools like you are. Plus, I have the added pressure of figuring out what the hell to do with my life when I graduate.”

“That sounds like a lot. Need to forget about it for a bit?”

“I ... I’m not sure how.”

“I hear that getting lost in someone else is great stress relief.”

“Have anyone in mind?”

“I do, actually. She’s got long hair and green eyes. Five foot six and in front of you.”

He took a shaky breath. “We shouldn’t.”

“Why not? I think we’d both enjoy it.”

“But Nick . . .”

I put my finger on his lips. “Do me a favor and don’t mention my brother right now.”

His throat worked again when my hand was on his face. “I think ... I think I could go for some stress relief.”

A smile curled on my lips. “That’s exactly what I was hoping you would say.”

Alden’s truck had a surprisingly big back seat. If it were any other day, I would have wondered how it comfortably held my wide hips despite looking tiny.

But his lips were on mine, so I didn’t have very many thoughts.

Now that I had his attention, I didn’t waste a second. Stopping to go somewhere more private wasn’t even on my mind because I didn’t want to let Alden think too much about this.

I wanted him. And he wanted me, but sometimes his brain made things hard. If I could prove to him just how good this could be, then he would see that we could work together.

He was an incredible kisser—nothing like the boy I’d made out with at the library after school a few years ago. That had been sloppy and forgettable.

But this ? This was everything. His lips were fire, moving at a pace that I wasn’t used to. I opened myself to him and his tongue dipped into my mouth, letting his taste mix with mine.

I groaned as he pressed his whole body against me. I finally got to run my hands along his muscular shoulders, a dream I didn’t ever think would come to fruition.

His hand drifted under my sweater to my lower back. No man had ever touched me there before, and my skin erupted in gooseflesh.

Alden’s hold on me was tight, but it kept me from floating away in my mind. I tightened my hands on his shirt, happy this was real instead of a dream this time.

His other hand was on my hip, fingers right at the band of my leggings. I waited for far too long before pulling away.

“Take them off,” I said. “My leggings, I mean.”

His hand on my hip tightened. “You sure?”

“So sure. More sure than anything else.”

We had to wiggle around to get them off, but I felt more alive once the cool air hit me. Alden’s eyes roamed over my hips, taking in every inch of me. He licked his lips and his hand cupped my ass.

“Sweater now,” I said between gasps.

He followed orders, and his gaze was on my see-through lace bra once my top was off. “Fuck,” he said breathlessly.

When his lips closed over mine again, Alden’s hand cupped my waiting breast. The lace rubbed against my sensitive skin and my nipples were begging for attention.

I reached out to unlatch my bra, revealing my entire top half to him.

His eyes hovered on my breasts for only a beat before he pulled off his pants, showing me the first real-life cock I’d ever seen.

I’d prepped myself for this in the privacy of my room, but seeing it in the flesh and knowing where I wanted it sent chills down my spine. Alden’s mouth claimed mine again, and I could feel his hardness against my leg. Our kisses grew heavier and his breathing stuttered when I sunk my teeth into his lip.

He pulled away and I had a second to catch my breath before he kissed my cheek and my neck. He returned the bite right where my neck met my collarbone and I let out a broken gasp.

“Touch me.” My core was dying for attention.

“Are you?—”

“Yes,” I said. “I’m very sure. Now, please touch me.”

“So polite,” he said with a devious grin.

His hand trailed my already wet pussy, fingers meeting the folds where I needed him. My head dropped back, eyes fluttering closed.

I couldn’t believe this was happening. I couldn’t believe Alden Canes was doing what I’d asked of him.

The feeling of pressure on my most sensitive areas made me see stars. His fingers circled, caressed, and tortured my clit as I jerked my hips into his hand.

His breaths were hot in my ear, and while this felt good, I also knew my body would need a while to warm up.

“We can focus on you if you want to.” I knew some guys didn’t want to wait for the woman to orgasm, and while I thought it was bullshit, I’d give Alden some grace because I liked him so much.

“Take all the time you need, baby,” he whispered into my ear. “I’ve got all night.”

His fingers moved in the perfect way and I moaned. Not only was he good at this, but he was patient too. What a turn-on.

I moved my hips against his hand, giving myself the pleasure I needed. The heat in my body built, ready to tumble over the edge, but it took longer than if it were just me. He’d told me to take all the time I needed, so I did. I moved how I needed to, jerking my hips to chase the feeling I fiercely craved.

But then I felt his hard cock against my leg again and my mind flashed to what that was going to feel like when he fucked me.

I needed it. I couldn’t wait for it.

The mental image alone was enough to send me tumbling over the edge. I gasped and leaned into him as pleasure hit every nerve in my body.

I was out of breath when the sensation finally ebbed, but the second it was over, I was ready for more.

“Keep going,” I said. “I need another one.”

“I’d be happy to, but what if I gave you my mouth this time?” he asked.

“Yes. But there isn’t room.”

He moved and opened the door. It wasn’t cold, even for December, but I doubted that my body would even feel it if it were.

“I’ll kneel on the ground if it means I get to taste you. Come here.”

“But what if people see?”

“No one will bother coming this far down the street. It’s just us here. ”

That was all the convincing I needed. I’d probably do anything if it came out of Alden’s mouth. I moved to the edge of the seat, and his mouth clamped down on my desperate pussy. I’d imagined what this could feel like, but this was otherworldly.

I ran my fingers through his hair, keeping him close to me. My body sang as he ran his tongue around my clit, shooting me toward another perfect release.

Yet, I wanted one other thing.

“Finger fuck me,” I said between gasps. “Please.”

“I didn’t know you had such a dirty mouth.” I looked down to see a smile on his lips.

“There’s a lot you don’t know, and you won’t if you don’t make me come again.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he said. I didn’t know if he liked this side of me, but I didn’t have it in me to question myself. His finger entered me slowly.

This was the first time someone else had done this. My body clenched around him, but not out of fear, out of pleasure. I’d spent countless nights wishing he was the one inside of me, and now I had everything I wanted.

Alden’s finger hooked, finding a spot inside that I never could. I let out a gasp and arched into him.

His mouth came down on my clit again, sucking gently. His finger, only slightly curved now, pulled in and out of me, and my pussy gripped it with every movement.

I wanted that to be his cock so badly. The silicone ones stashed under my bed weren’t enough .

But I was busy feeling like I was floating. He played me like a fiddle, and I wanted to remember every second of it. My breaths quickened as every nerve ending lit on fire.

“That’s it,” he said, “I want to feel it.”

I came again, this sensation sharper than the last. My body was a million fireworks exploding in a perfect symphony.

“Very good,” he said just as my senses came back to me. For a moment, I wasn’t able to formulate a response. I didn’t even know where I was— only that my orgasm had been mind-blowing.

He stood and I eyed his cock, which was wet with anticipation.

“Please fuck me,” I said. “Please fuck me in the back seat of your truck.”

“Gladly,” he said lowly. He grabbed a condom from his center console and then hovered over me.

The head of his cock swirled at my opening, and I closed my eyes so I could feel every second of it. The anticipation was killing me.

He pressed in, just a touch, pushing against my inner walls. My breathing stuttered. Finally. This was going to happen.

He pulled out and I made a pitiful noise. “Why’d you pull away?”

“Because this is ... Look at me,” he said, and I followed his instructions. “Is this what you want?”

“Yes,” I said breathlessly. “A million times yes. I would tattoo it on my forehead if I could.” He bit his lip, still unconvinced, but I put a hand on his chest. “Alden, I want this. You can feel how much I do.”

It helped. Some of the concern left his face, and I felt that hardness press in again, but this time, he slid in an inch.

“More,” I said. “Give me more.”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he said through gritted teeth.

“You won’t. I want all of you. Come on, Alden. Fuck me.”

This time, he didn’t stop. He pushed and slipped through my wetness, seating himself all of the way in.

I gasped. Nothing could have prepared me for how close he was, how his pelvis touched mine, how he invaded me in a way no one else had.

And the way that this felt intimate .

“Fuck,” he muttered, his jaw tight.

“Yeah, that’s the right word.”

“I don’t know if I can be gentle.”

“I don’t want gentle,” I said. “Ruin me for other men. I dare you.”

And his control snapped like a taut string. His hands gripped my hips like a vise and he slammed into me all the way to the hilt.

I’d always wanted sex because I liked orgasms, but this was more. This felt like a promise. As he did it over and over again, I saw stars.

“Yes,” I said. “That’s what I’m talking about. ”

I knew I would be sore, but the slight pain somehow added to the pleasure. He was inside of me, all of him, and I knew there was no greater Christmas present than this.

Alden pulled out of me one last time, and I was ready for his relentless assault to continue, but instead, he rolled me over.

“Don’t want to see my face?” I half joked.

“I love your face, but I want to see your ass move as I fuck you.” His hand gripped my hips from a new angle. “And I want you to come again.”

“I don’t think I can from just this,” I said.

“Touch yourself.”

I wanted to pipe up and tell him that there was no way this would feel as good as he was making it out to be, but I also wanted him inside of me again, so I did as I was told.

And I was immediately rewarded. This time, when his cock entered me, it was different. It felt tighter, with an addictive burn. Once he was all the way in, I realized he was hitting that spot inside of me at this angle.

I snaked my arm down, pressing my fingers into my own wet flesh. His hips pumped into me, moving mine with every relentless thrust. The movement made me see stars and I let out a gasping breath.

“That’s right. I can hear it in your breath. It feels good.”

I didn’t even have words. This was better than anything I’d ever felt before. My body was in the clouds from this. My hand pressed in tighter and I could feel myself building once again.

“I’m . . . I’m gonna come.”

“Good,” he said, speeding up.

I erupted, heat traveling from where he was inside of me all the way to my belly and toes. I felt everything release in a wave, taking me with it.

“Alden, yes,” I said. It didn’t stop. As long as he was moving, I was riding the wave. My pussy clenched him as his movements became erratic.

“You feel too fucking good,” he said. “Better than I imagined. Oh, fuck .”

His hips slammed into me one last time before I could feel his cock pulsing.

As I lay there, gasping for breath, I knew that I would be fucking this man again. I would feel this again . I was making it happen.

“I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“No,” I said. “That was fucking amazing.”

“Good,” he replied. “Let’s clean up.”

“I want to sleep for a day straight.” I was still loopy from the high I was coming down from.

“Whatever you want, baby. Whatever you want.”

Alden

I was driving Stella to her house when one thought hit me.

She’s the same age as Dad’s new wife .

Any lingering pleasure evaporated.

I tried not to think of my dad much, especially since he was content to live his life and forget about me, but every now and then, the thoughts slipped in.

The day I found out, I was sick to my stomach. She had been sitting at the living room table, and my first thought was that she was someone Dad was trying to set me up with, but then she flashed her ring and I found out the truth.

Later, I heard from one of his friends that he’d been with her before she was eighteen, and it was the final straw in our already bad relationship.

I wasn’t my dad. That much I knew. I was half his age and a better person.

But the thought made me rethink my choices. I’d made a promise never to touch my best friend’s little sister while she was underage and kept true to that. It didn’t matter that I meshed better with her than anyone else. It didn’t matter that I found her gorgeous for way too long.

I wasn’t going there.

But she was in that damn low-cut sweater, and I couldn’t stop myself.

I’d been lost in lust, but the way I talked to her was nothing like the friendship we’d fostered over the years. I wanted to be like a brother to her, but the way my mind betrayed me was one of the reasons I was up at night.

And now, this would stick with me—in more ways than one. I could already tell I wanted her again, even though I shouldn’t. Sure, there wasn’t technically anything wrong with this, but I had a feeling Nick wouldn’t be thrilled.

While he would never tell her not to date anyone, he certainly made it known when he didn’t think someone was good enough for her. And I had a feeling he would have the same opinion about me.

I could lie, but I refused to do that to him. He was my best friend, always there for me when the only family I had walked away. I’d kept my growing attraction to Stella to myself because I knew he was protective over her.

The fact that I slept with her when she hadn’t even been eighteen for six months didn’t make me look good.

It wasn’t illegal, even if she hadn’t been eighteen, because the gap had to be over four years in Tennessee, and we were under that by a month.

But it still felt wrong .

She didn’t feel wrong, though. The sex had been the best of my life. It was wild in a way I could have only imagined, and I would love to do it again. I’d noticed her as she grew up, but she was always too young.

She was still too young, but I could only hope I wouldn’t get in too much trouble with Nick over it.

“I’m gonna go to my room,” Stella said as we pulled in. Her smile was catlike. “You can join me.”

“I should probably catch up with Nick first,” I said. “Especially since he’s home from work.”

“Okay.” She stood on tiptoes and pressed a kiss on my cheek. “I’ll be waiting. ”

Even with my guilt, my body reacted to her. God, I wanted this.

I shouldn’t.

I waited until Stella was in her room and let out a long breath of air.

Time to face the music.

Nick was in his room, watching TV after a long day. He’d been working extra to save up for a place he and I could share once we both graduated next semester. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with my life after college, and I needed a place to live while I figured it out.

My job at a local outdoor store paid three-quarters of the posted rent for most apartment complexes around here, but it wasn’t enough. Nick didn’t have to offer to live with me at all since Mr. and Mrs. Summers would let him continue living at home, but I was more than grateful that he did.

“Hey,” Nick said. “How was the party?”

“Fun.” I cleared my throat. “Stella was there.”

He frowned. “She was? She isn’t the partying type. Who invited her?”

“I didn’t ask.”

“Was there alcohol?”

“Yes, but she didn’t have any. She was sober the whole time.”

“Good,” he said, giving me a half smile. “She’s not like me, at least. I don’t think Mom and Dad could have handled that. Neither could I, now that I think about it. ”

Nick and Stella couldn’t be more different. He got into as much trouble as he could. She stuck to the rules.

Nick wasn’t always this protective over his sister, but she was bullied in middle school to the point that she stopped eating for way too long. When we found out about it, he and I came to her defense. Then she met Winnie and everything changed.

I needed to get this over with. “She was with someone, though.”

“Who?” His eyes narrowed and I instantly filled with dread.

“Me.”

“Oh, so you made sure she didn’t do anything dumb?”

“Uh, mostly. But I mean when I was with her, I mean in a ... more than friends way.”

Nick froze, and when his eyes moved to me, they were like ice. “You didn’t.”

“I did.”

“Are you fucking serious?”

I took a step back. His voice was low, more like a growl than anything else.

The only time he’d ever talked like this was when he found the kids who had upset Stella when she was in middle school. I never thought he would turn it around on me , even if I’d been with her.

“Yeah, I am.”

That was the wrong thing to say. He stood. “Do you know how fucking gross that is?”

“I don’t know about gross ?— ”

“Alden, you knew her when she was a kid. She’s four years younger than you.”

“Weren’t we also kids?”

“Older kids!” he snapped. “What the hell were you thinking going after her?”

“I didn’t go after her at all! I said hello.”

He crossed his arms. “Then how the hell did you end up with her?”

I closed my eyes. I don’t even know how we’d ended up in the back of my truck. Most of our conversation was drowned out by that damn teal sweater she’d been wearing. “Things just ended up that way.”

“Just ended up that way?” he asked. “Try again.”

“I don’t ... I’m telling you the truth. What else do you want from me?”

“For you to have walked away from my little sister, Alden.”

“I didn’t just use her or anything. I like her.”

“She’s my sister. You don’t feel anything for her. Besides, she’s too young to know better.”

“Stella is an adult,” I reminded him.

“Fuck off,” he snapped, his glare piercing. “Isn’t that what your dad said about his new wife?”

Fuck. He had. All the regret hit me again. I promised never to sound like my dad or date anyone younger than me.

But there was one defense I had.

“It’s only four years.”

“So, I guess you’re not going to see sense then.” He shook his head. “I need to do the same thing you did to your dad.”

“Wh-what?”

“I’m not staying friends with a guy who takes advantage of my sister.”

“I didn’t mean to take advantage of her, I just?—”

“You did.”

“She consented.”

“I don’t care! God, Alden, why would I want my best friend crawling around her? I thought you were better.” He looked away. “Guess I thought wrong. Get out.”

Panic hit me—the same panic as when Dad left with his new wife. The same panic as when I found out Mom was gone and wouldn’t be coming home.

I couldn’t be left by one more person. The only person who had stuck around was Nick, and through him, I knew the Summers—the only family I had left. If I ruined things with him then I ruined things with them all.

“I’m sorry,” I rushed to say.

“It’s too late for that.”

“Let me fix this.”

“Fix it?”

“Yes. I’ll do whatever you want me to do.”

I was half convinced he would tell me to leave anyway, but instead, he looked just as pained as I did. I could only hope that he didn’t want to hate me as much as I didn’t want to hate him .

I gave him time, praying that he could think of something.

“Break it off with her,” he finally said. “And never look at her again.”

“Not even be friends with her?”

I couldn’t imagine my life without Stella in it. Even when we were kids, she made me as happy as Nick did.

“Can you stay away from her if you’re friends with her?”

I wanted to say yes. It would have been easier if I could.

But I knew the truth. “I don’t know if I can.”

“Then leave her alone.”

My head hung heavy. I was keeping Nick but losing Stella. And it hurt .

“Don’t try to make me feel bad,” he said. “You should have never touched her.”

“I know,” I replied. “I’ll keep my distance.”

He gave me a stiff nod and looked away. It was a clear dismissal, and I left his room without another word.

Down the hall, Stella’s door stood innocently. She’d invited me to spend time with her, but I knew I wouldn’t take her up on that. If I were smart, I’d march in there and tell her we could never do this again.

Even the thought made me feel like the biggest asshole in the world. I didn’t want to break it off with her. I didn’t want to hurt her.

Emotion was taking over, filling me with a despair that had no outlet. I couldn’t tell her about this. She didn’t get why Nick was overprotective, and I couldn’t hide it from her if I tried. Nick wanted nothing to do with me, and I had no one else.

So, I ran.

Ran to the quiet of a nearby park, where I sat in my truck and regretted all of the choices I’d made that night.

Silence was my only companion for hours, and eventually, I calmed down enough to send a text.

Alden

This can’t happen again. I’m sorry, but we won’t work out.

I hated myself for it. I wished I could take it back the moment I hit send.

But I couldn’t lose my best friend. I couldn’t take one more person walking away.

It didn’t mean it was easier to be the one pushing someone away, though.