Chapter 10
NATHAN
Sunlight hitting right over my eye wakes me. I’m confused about where I am and why my arm hurts. My back is cold, but my front is strangely warm.
It takes me a second to make sense of my surroundings and why my bed is as hard as a board, but I soon realize that’s because I’m sleeping on the actual floor. That’s right. I’m at my uncle’s cabin, and we fell asleep by the fireplace.
I lift my arm over my head to try to block the bright light streaming in from the windows. The sunlight is annoying, but it’s a good sign that the storm has finally passed.
Trying to get up, a soft groan has me pausing. I look down to find someone bundled under the blankets and pressed right up against me. It’s early in the morning, but my heart is already racing.
I distinctly remember falling asleep in my own blanket last night.
Eli had been sitting by himself and staring into the fire with the grey blanket wrapped around him.
I honestly didn’t think Eli would sleep, since he’s always had a hard time sleeping, and it’s usually worse when he’s in an unfamiliar location, so I’m extra surprised to find him snoozing so deeply now.
Lifting the blanket just enough to peek under it and not let the sunlight through, I hold my breath as Eli comes into view. His hair is fluffy and all over the place. It’s an adorable mess. His face is snuggled against my chest and he looks so peaceful as he sleeps.
My movements must have disturbed him, because Eli mumbles something and wiggles closer until his entire naked glory is pressed up against me. I try not to move—not to breathe—but my heart is hammering hard enough to drown out all other sounds.
I’ve seen countless naked men in the locker rooms growing up, so seeing Eli pressed up against me like this shouldn’t affect me.
I’m not even remotely attracted to men…and yet I rubbed one off yesterday to the image of Eli coming all over my hand.
That has to be some serious level of fucked up that I can’t even try to think about right now, because if I picture what happened last night, then it’s guaranteed I’ll pop a boner hard enough to poke him awake.
I’m sure that won’t be awkward for either of us.
Eli’s eyelashes flutter in his sleep, making me notice that his dark circles are now a lot fainter than they were last night. I don’t question why that makes me so happy. It’s normal to want to take care of the people in your life, especially when he’s your stepbrother, right?
What’s definitely not normal is how much I like the feeling of him pressed up against me.
I very carefully brush a strand of hair out of his face. The action makes his nose wrinkle, but he stays asleep. It’s no surprise that Eli is really good-looking, but this is the first time I’m able to look at him this closely. He’s usually either glaring at me or refusing to face my direction.
So it makes sense that I’m looking my fill now. He’s really easy on the eyes, with strong eyebrows, high nose, and what has to be the most kissable fucking lips I’ve ever seen…
My phone rings loudly, as if calling out the very inappropriate thoughts I’m having. I spring up in surprise just as Eli opens his eyes. He looks confused and sleepily rubs his face. I hope I was fast enough, and he didn’t realize he’d slept pressed against me all night.
He’s so cute that I want to pull him back into my arms. I chase those thoughts away and force myself halfway across the living room to grab my phone.
Seeing that my dad is calling, it must mean the phone towers are back online.
“Hey, Dad,” I say, answering the phone.
“Thank god, the call finally went through. Are you and Eli okay? We’ve been worried sick!” Dad rumbles over the line. I can hear Annie’s voice too, but she’s too far away for me to clearly hear what she’s saying.
“Sorry for worrying you. We’re safe.”
Eli moves in my peripheral vision, and I see him tugging his briefs on. He bends over to pick up the rest of his clothes, and my eyes are locked onto his perky butt that’s pointed in the air. He’s skinny everywhere else, but his ass is somehow full. It’d probably fit perfectly in my hands.
“Nathan, you there?” Dad’s voice calls out. I flick my gaze away in a panic, like I’ve just been caught.
“Yeah, sorry, I’m here,” I choke out. “The signal must still be spotty. What were you saying?”
“Annie and I are thinking of driving over there.”
“What? You don’t have to do that,” I say. My voice must have been a lot louder than I thought, because Eli’s glancing my way with a curious expression. Taking a calming breath, I add, “I’m sure I can get a tow truck over now. I don’t want you going out of your way.”
To my knowledge, Dad hasn’t been back to the cabin since Mom’s passing, and I don’t want to be the reason he has to return.
It takes some time, but I finally manage to convince Annie and him to stay put. After hanging up the call, I try the closest towing company again. It isn’t as busy this morning as it was last night, so we’re finally in luck.
Hanging up, I look around for Eli. He’s not in the living room anymore, but I hear water coming from the kitchen. I follow the sound to find him washing the dishes we used last night.
I watch him for a minute. He’s humming some tune I don’t recognize and smiling to himself. The sunlight streams in from the window in front of the sink and casts a halo on his cheek. It’s soft—not him, but the moment—and I think that’s what stops me from calling out to him.
As if sensing me, Eli turns around and stops humming when he sees me. The light shifts, and I’m not ready for how quickly the moment shatters.
“How’d the call go?” Eli asks as he turns off the faucet. He dries his hands with the dish towel hanging on the oven door, and I notice the flush on his fingers.
I’m striding toward him before I can process and take his hand in mine.
“Why are your hands so cold?” I ask. I sandwich them between mine and rub my hands back and forth to generate some warmth.
“The water heater isn’t working.”
“Then you should have let me do the dishes,” I say, blowing hot air onto his fingertips.
“What difference does it make who does them? One of us will end up with cold hands either way,” he mutters.
I know he’s right, but for some reason, I can’t admit it. I don’t know where this urge to protect him comes from—especially since he’s perfectly capable of taking care of himself, as he’s pointed out many times—but I just can’t stop myself.
He watches me warm his fingers. A tint of pink colors his cheeks as his gaze moves away.
“You called the towing company? What did they say?” he asks, still not looking my way.
“They’re sending someone out in half an hour. They’ll pick us up at the main road, too.”
“Thank god we can finally get out of here,” he says with a huge sigh of relief.
Does he want to get away from me that badly?
I agree half-heartedly and drop his hands now that warmth has returned to them.
“I’m gonna tidy up,” I say, then retreat to the living room.
I clean out the fireplace first, making sure to close the damper.
Next, I pick up the blankets, fold them, and place them by the front door to take with me later.
The blanket wasn’t wrapped around us when Eli came all over my hand last night, but I’ll just wash it for peace of mind.
The last thing I need is my uncle calling and asking what the mysterious white substance on his blankets is.
Mom’s portrait catches my eye and reminds me of the whole reason I wanted to come here in the first place. I run upstairs to the room that once belonged to my parents. It’s now a storage room filled with boxes of items that Uncle Anthony can’t bring himself to throw away.
I find the box of albums by the door, as Uncle Anthony said it’d be.
He placed the album I’m looking for at the very top.
It’s filled with pictures of mom. Pictures that Dad couldn’t bring himself to take because the memories were too painful for him.
Maybe they were too painful for me, too, and that’s why it took so long for me to retrieve the album from my uncle.
Eli’s on the couch when I head downstairs. He looks up from his phone and catches sight of the album tucked under my arm. He doesn’t comment on it, but I see understanding in his eyes. Maybe a hint of concern, too, if I’m being delusional.
I slide the album into my backpack and turn to him. “Sorry again for dragging you into this mess,” I murmur.
He’s looking at me with those curious brown eyes. They’re not filled with anger or hate this time. He’s studying me, and not in the way where he’s trying to figure out what the fuck is wrong with me, but like he’s trying to see me. The real me.
I shift uncomfortably, not sure if I like how his gaze pierces right through me. I’m so used to people seeing what I want them to see: the confident athlete who doesn’t have a single worry in this world.
I’m not like Eli, who shares all parts of himself so easily. I don’t let people in like that, while he’s never one to hide his feelings from you, whether it’s love or hate—I would know.
But I’m not like that. I don’t do vulnerable. I’ve learned it makes people uncomfortable. It makes me uncomfortable. Eli continues watching me with soft eyes, and I’m caught off guard by how it’s not unbearable.
“It’s okay,” he says. His words ring genuine and confident. It settles something inside of me and makes me believe that everything really will be okay.