Chapter 11
ELI
We’ve been at the mechanic’s for over an hour, and we’re still waiting for the tire change.
I’m not sure why it takes so long to change a freaking tire, and I’m very tempted to tell the mechanic to just give me the fucking tire and I’ll change it myself.
Not that I know how to change a tire, but I’m sure I can figure it out.
I’m antsy, and I blame my rumbling stomach.
My feet are bouncing on the dingy carpet in the waiting room.
There are oil stains on the couch I’m sitting on, a black pile of questionable objects in the corner, and a sour scent lingering in the air that doesn’t help with my already complaining stomach.
I’m not the cleanest person, but this place was far below even my standards.
If it weren’t freezing outside, I wouldn’t be able to stand another second here.
“Here,” Nathan hands me one of his cardboard bars.
I make a face. “I don’t think I can eat right now,” I say. My stomach is growling, but anything I eat will probably come right back up with how disgusting this place is.
Nathan smirks, and one of his dimples peeks out from under his facial hair. He really is handsome, and I know where he got his looks from now. Nathan is the spitting image of his mother, right down to the dimples. When he smiles, it’s like that portrait of her come to life.
It takes another forty-five minutes before we’re finally out of there. It’s late morning at this point, and I’m cranky from skipping breakfast and at the fact that we spent practically half the day waiting for a simple tire change.
Nathan’s still all smiles, looking completely unbothered. He turns that brilliant smile my way, and it only makes me even more pissed. I’m learning to let go of my anger toward him, but I can’t change overnight, especially not when I’m hangry.
“I’ll treat you to some food,” he says, and that pops my rage like a balloon. How can anyone be mad in the face of food?
“I want—”
“Nuggets and fries, right?” he says before I can.
“Yeah…how did you know?” I ask suspiciously.
He shrugs. “You’re a creature of habit,” is his reply.
I’m not sure I like that answer, and how does he even know me well enough to know that my go-to meal when I’m annoyed is nuggets and fries? I hug my pillow to my chest and try not to think into it too much.
I’d left the pillow in the car, so it didn’t have the foul odor from the mechanic’s waiting room. It smells nice, with a hint of warm spice that seems to wrap me up in a cozy hug.
I bring the pillow to my face and breathe in more of the calming scent, only to be horrified that I know this scent from somewhere.
I’ve dreamed of being bathed in this scent in my sleep.
In fact, I think it’s one of the reasons I slept as soundly as I did last night, when I usually don’t do well sleeping in unfamiliar places.
Who am I kidding? I didn’t sleep well in general.
Zoe says that when I was a kid, I’d get so excited about something that I’d lie awake in bed all night, then be in a sour mood the next day.
It seems not much has changed, except that the lack of sleep at night isn’t from the anticipation of some event to come. I just can’t stop thinking.
I like to say it’s because I can’t stand being still.
My body can’t move, so my brain is the one that has to work by thinking.
And it’s not like I’m thinking about anything important either.
I’m thinking about things like what I’m going to eat tomorrow, or when Ava’s gonna take me to the restaurant I’ve been dying to go to, not because I saw a post of Nathan going there the other day or anything like that.
It’s because their food looks really good. I promise!
I refuse to admit the many sleepless nights I’ve had thinking about Nathan, because he shouldn’t bother me in the slightest. We have nothing to do with each other now that we don’t live in the same house anymore. It’s ridiculous that the man even crosses my mind anymore.
I peek at him as he’s paying for our drive-thru order at the window. He takes his card back from the lady and is now chatting with her about something or another. The woman is blushing, but she’s obviously receptive to his attention if her smitten smile is anything to go by.
I don’t know why it irritates me. He’s always been popular, so that’s not something new. Being one of the star football players at our high school, he ran with the cool kids. Everyone sought him out like he had a magnetic force around him. It’s obvious that it hasn’t changed since we graduated.
I’m crossing my arms around my pillow as his conversation ends, and he pulls up to the next window. I’m prickly as he hands me my drink. The bubbly Dr Pepper is heavenly as I take a long gulp. I don’t even question how he knows my preferred soda when he hadn’t even asked.
He’s attentive, I’ll give him that. Maybe that’s the reason he’s so damn popular. He shows a caring persona to everyone he meets, and people love that.
I have to remember that just because he’s being nice to me now, it doesn’t mean I’m special to him.
Not that I need to be special to him. I don’t need to be anything to him, because once this vacation is over, we’ll go back to our separate lives and pretend like our little detour never happened.
I ignore the sudden ache in my chest. It’s probably because I’m drinking soda on an empty stomach, and that’s what’s causing the sudden heartburn.
The rest of the drive is quiet, save for the Christmas music playing on the radio. But every single cell in my body is tuned into Nathan. I try not to peek at him, but it’s hard when his presence takes up so much space.
We aren’t too far from the cabin our family rents yearly for our winter vacation, so I don’t have to suffer in the enclosed space with him for long.
Mom and Gerald rush out the front door of the cabin as soon as we pull up.
They’ve probably been tracking our location in the family location app we use.
It’s kinda weird knowing that my location is being tracked for any of them to see, but I understand why it’s nice to have.
I can look at the app to see where my family members are when I miss.
I definitely do not check Nathan’s location. I can’t help it if I just happen to see it when I’m already on the app.
“Are you boys all right?” Gerald asks when we exit the car. He places both hands on Nathan’s arms and squeezes, as if to check he’s actually alive and right in front of him at the moment.
My mom isn’t any better. She squeezes the life out of me in a hug, then spins me around to check me up and down. I feel like a kindergartner who’d just fallen from the slides and is now being checked all over for injuries.
“I’m fine, Mom,” I insist when she tries to twirl me around for a second time. I think she forgets that I’m legally old enough to drink now, just because I’m the baby of the family.
She’s not reassured as I expected, but glares up at me instead. “Don’t you know how to dress properly for the weather? Where’s your hat and scarf? Look at how red your ears are,” she nags, and I resist the urge to roll my eyes. I know the action won’t be appreciated.
Thankfully, she turns her focus to Nathan instead and starts fussing over him. He returns her hug, and when he pulls back, I can hear him softly apologize to Mom about dragging me along with the detour.
“It’s alright, honey. I’m just happy you’re both okay,” Mom replies.
It’s a slight change, and I wouldn’t notice if I weren’t paying close attention, but Nathan’s shoulders relax. I thought he didn’t care what other people thought about him. He’s always so relaxed and casual, like he’s going at his own pace and dragging the rest of us along with him.
I’m not sure how to feel about seeing this new side of him. I’m seeing many new sides of him just within the last twenty-four hours, if I’m being honest, and I haven’t decided whether it’s a good or bad thing.
“I’m glad to see you’re okay,” Gerald tells me and clasps me on the shoulder. He’s always been nice to me, but I can tell he doesn’t know how to act around me.
I think it’s because he doesn’t know what to do with me. I know I can be a lot sometimes, and I’m nothing like the son he’s used to. It doesn’t bother me, since I can tell he’s trying.
“Thanks, Gerald,” I say and jump into his arms for a hug. He’s surprised, but he recovers quickly and pats me on the back in one of those bro hugs.
“Are you two going to keep them out in the freezing cold?” Ava appears at the door. She’s dressed in a two-piece matching pajama set that has little candy canes printed on it and a shawl wrapped around her shoulders. Her hair is tied back in a low ponytail and out of her face.
I pull out my phone and snap a picture of her. It’s rare to see her in anything besides her drab professional wear, even when she’s not working. The holidays are the only time she’ll change into something colorful, and I like to immortalize the festive PJs she picks out each year.
Ava’s nose twitches in her obvious annoyance, but she doesn’t say anything. She’s already used to me annoying her. It’s kinda my job.
I grin widely and run over to hug her.
“Oof, do you have to tackle me like a giant dog?” she says, disgruntled.
“You love it,” I reply with a laugh.
She pulls me into her arms and leans into my ear to whisper, “See, what did I tell you? Spending time alone with him won’t kill you.”
She has a smug smile on her lips when she pulls back. I roll my eyes. Ava likes being right—it’s the eldest child in her—but I won’t give her the satisfaction of letting her know it.
Being alone with Nathan wasn’t as terrible as I thought it’d be.