Chapter 23
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
MARCUS
We leave the bar, walking in the opposite direction from Marion and Tristan, toward his apartment.
People know about us now.
Three people. Maybe four if Sabrina told Laura.
While it feels good, it’s scary as hell, and it wasn’t part of the plan.
I’m no longer controlling the narrative.
What if this somehow gets back to my dad? Or worse, Ryan.
The email that John sent me this afternoon just before Jeremy came in my office freaked me the fuck out, and the worry is warring with my selfish feelings for Jeremy.
My inside guy at Skynet passed along everything he found to John’s PI.
What he uncovered wasn’t great. I haven’t seen the information myself yet—the idea of blackmailing my father triggers anxiety and guilt (I mean he is still my father), so I’ve always let John take the lead and tell me what I need to know.
That being said, the evidence gathered so far shows that the two board members were killed intentionally because they wanted out of the company after someone from finance approached them with suspicions about transactions with a property manager who moonlighted as a contract killer.
Turns out the finance guy who leaked the information also went missing, a hiking mishap, shortly after the “accident” that killed the board members.
The hardcopy files included hundreds of emails between Ryan and a few different people talking about taking care of loose ends.
Unfortunately, the victims’s names were still redacted, so it’s not hard evidence we can take to the authorities, but it’s enough to illustrate how dangerous Ryan actually is.
John and I suspected that Ryan was into some low-level shady shit, but it’s looking like Ryan had people murdered because they found out that he was having other people murdered.
The meta-ness of it gives me a headache.
It also makes me realize that the idea of my siblings or Jeremy falling onto his radar is way worse than damaging their careers.
If Ryan thinks that Jeremy is a threat, he could have him killed.
My stomach burns with the thought, and I glance over at Jeremy, who’s adorably tipsy.
I can’t help the smile that turns my lips as I listen to him talk animatedly about the callback he got from the fancy-pants actor prick in Cannon Beach, who wants to call me as a work reference. It sounds like Jeremy’s got his next job in the bag. I knew he would. He’s so fucking talented.
Jeremy’s brushing my wrist with every swing of his arm, his fingers flexing like he’s resisting the urge to hold my hand. “Anyway, Flash said he can’t wait for me to start—”
“Wait, he asked you to call him Flash?” Jeremy nods, grinning at me. I narrow my eyes. “What’s he look like?”
Jeremy taps his chin in an exaggerated way. “Oh, you know. Big and muscly. Think Chris Hemsworth in Thor: Love and Thunder.”
I choke on my own spit and stop, glaring at him. “I’m sorry?” He keeps walking and sticks out his tongue at me. “I hope you’re kidding.”
“Why does it matter?” Jeremy looks back at me with a raised eyebrow, and I follow him. “Are you jealous again, Marcus?”
I grimace. It’s not fair for me to be jealous—not with my current train of thought. I was na?ve to think this could ever work, even behind closed doors.
And even if I pushed past my newfound fears about Ryan, which I can’t, I have no doubt that if my father found out about Jeremy, he’d do something to hurt him—probably not physically, but he’s an expert at ruining careers.
Fuck that.
I won’t let Jeremy lose his livelihood because of me.
If there’s anything I’ve learned since I started working with Jeremy Hart, it’s that he’s really fucking good at his job.
The Seattle location is going to be fucking beautiful, thanks to him.
Which is why the decision I’m about to make is probably the right thing to do.
No, it is the right thing to do.
He deserves better. Someone who will indulge his soft spots for movies and cats and playing pinball. Someone who appreciates his sass and wit and penchant for colorful Converse and over-the-top nail polish. Someone who can love him in the open. That person exists, and it’s not me. Not right now.
He’s going to hate me. But I’m doing it for him.
I’m going to break up with Jeremy.
Tonight.
This—us—is all too risky. Of course, I didn’t plan on Tris and Marion finding out. But I’m going to stick to my plan. When he told me that he wouldn’t need to come into the pub anymore, it seemed like fate, despite how heavy my heart feels. And it feels fucking heavy.
We reach Jeremy’s apartment and he misses a step, stumbling with a little giggle. I catch him around the hips, and he freezes for a minute before melting against me, his back to my chest.
I turn him around carefully. Standing two steps above me, he’s almost as tall as I am. His pale skin is flawless under the streetlight, his hair practically glowing around his pretty face. I watch his freckles dance as he scrunches his nose at me.
I glance around. We’re alone, and I consider leaving right then. I should kiss him goodnight and never look back.
That’s what I should do.
But when he gazes at me, his teal eyes bright with lust and something dangerously close to love, I selfishly give in to my heart. This kid is my fucking weakness. Resistance is literally futile.
Just tonight, though, which will make him hate you even more.
A lump fills my throat. We’re so close that we’re sharing hazy breaths in the winter air.
I reach for him and run a gentle hand through his hair, pushing it off his forehead, my palm cupping the back of his skull.
I press our mouths together gently, running my tongue along his impossibly soft lips.
He smells like flowers and tastes like cranberry juice, and it’s so damn intoxicating.
Jeremy whimpers into my mouth, the sound going straight to my cock as I swallow it down along with any regrets tomorrow will bring.
Mask your emotions. You’re good at that.
I deepen the kiss, and Jeremy presses his lithe form against mine. My cock, already rock hard, grinds against his, and I’m about to lose all the control I’ve tried so hard to maintain.
I pull back, panting. “Jer, unlock the door. I need to get you inside, like, yesterday.”
He gives me one last lingering kiss and pulls back with an impish grin. Then he takes my hand and turns to the door. He reaches into his pocket for his keys and lets us in. We pretty much maul each other at that point, our coats forgotten on the floor.
I almost trip when Toothless weaves between our legs, letting out a loud, needy meow.
“Not now, bud,” Jeremy says, nudging T away with his toe.
Jeremy rips open my shirt and a button flies away, pinging into a dark corner. Toothless scampers after it. I shrug my flannel off and yank Jeremy’s T-shirt over his head.
Our mouths crash together, teeth biting and clacking. The kiss is wet and sloppy, and we only break apart to shed more clothing. By the time we reach Jeremy’s bedroom, we’re completely naked. Jeremy pushes me roughly onto the bed and stands over me, his ravenous gaze devouring me.
I’m ogling him all the same as my eyes feast on his flawless fair skin, stretched over toned biceps and lightly defined abs.
His long cock, which he’s already stroking, stands at attention, and with the ambient light from the window, I can barely make out the pink lines decorating his hip and thighs.
“Come here, Starlight,” I growl, and he listens.
Lately, he’s been letting my dominant side play, and I kind of like how he changes roles based on my needs. Like he’s all mine.
Except he’s not.
Jeremy crawls up my body and straddles my hips, reaching for our cocks. More often than not, frotting has been our favorite intimate activity, but my emotions are running high, and if this is the last time we do this, I’m gonna remember it.
He’s gonna remember it.
“You may regret us, but you’ll sure as hell remember us too.”
Jeremy’s words play back in my brain, and I swallow and put my hand over his, stopping his ministrations. He cocks his head curiously, his hair falling over his eyes in this adorable, sexy way.
“I have something else in mind tonight.” I nod at his nightstand. “Got any lube in there?”
His eyebrows rise in surprise, and he practically falls off me trying to open the drawer. He hands me a small bottle of lube, his hands trembling.
“I need you to listen to me, okay, Starlight?” I say, my knuckles grazing his jawline. He nods. “Good boy. Now turn over and get on your hands and knees.”
Jeremy does as I ask, climbing onto all fours with his perfect, perky ass in my face.
I push to my knees and run my fingers reverently over his skin, causing a shiver.
I reach between his legs and pinch his balls, and then run my index finger along his taint.
The kid practically purrs with my touch.
“Marcus,” he drops his face into the comforter, “that feels so good.”
“It’s about to get better,” I murmur. “This is gonna be cold.”
I open the lube lid and drip a generous amount down his crack. He gives a little squeal, and I chuckle. Then I trace my finger through it, pausing at his puckered hole to caress it with my thumb.
Jeremy pushes back against my hand with a grunt, trying to impale himself on my finger. “Are you impatient, baby boy?”
He takes a shuddering breath. “Yes.” I circle his hole and push this time, my pointer finger sinking into his tight warmth. “More,” he moans quietly. “I can take a lot.”
I choke down a pang of jealousy—for the third time tonight—because I know other men have done this before me.
I slide in farther, watching in fascination as his body swallows my entire finger.
Then I slide in a second digit, not bothering to go slow.
When I hook my fingers, I must swipe over Jeremy’s prostate because he curses loudly, his ass rising.
This is by far the hottest thing I’ve ever seen. Ever done, in fact. My dick definitely takes notice, leaking all over my abs as I start fucking my fingers in and out of his tight hole.
Jeremy’s whimpers grow louder, and his body tenses as if he’s close. I pull my hand free, and he grunts in frustration and glares back at me. He’s so fucking sexy with his hair mussed and his cheeks flushed.
“Are you teasing me?” he asks, his voice taking on that bratty tone that gets my dick extra hard.
“You can’t come yet, baby.”
“Why the fuck not?” he asks between pants.
“Because I want to fuck you.”
His eyes widen, irritation giving way to surprise, and he licks his lips. “Like with your dick?”
“Yes, with my dick.” I uncap the lube again and pour it over my aching cock. “Do you want me to fuck you, Jer?”
He nods vigorously. “Y-yes.”
I reach for Jeremy’s hips and pull him forward. I position myself and lean over his body and press my lips to his ear. “Last chance to tell me to stop.”
“Please,” he begs. “Please, don’t ever stop. Fuck me.”
Before I can second-guess myself, I push into him. My thick crown inches inside Jeremy’s asshole, and it’s the tightest warm heat I’ve ever felt.
“Shit,” I hiss. “You’re so perfect.”
Garbled nonsense falls from Jeremy’s lips, and he presses back, sliding me deeper.
I grasp his hips, halting his progress. “Fuck, baby boy. Do that again, and I’ll come.” I draw a steadying breath. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
Jeremy lets out a strangled sob. “Just fuck me like you mean it. I’m not fragile. I can take it. I want to take it.”
My legs shake as I push into him until I bottom out, my pelvis hitting his ass with an audible slap, and it’s all over from there. I can’t hold anything back. I pull out and thrust in, hard and quick, my hips pistoning. Sex has never felt this intense.
I chase the building pleasure as my balls tighten. Jeremy screams my name, his voice cracking as I push into him recklessly. But he wasn’t kidding. He’s encouraging me to go harder and faster, and I do because the euphoric feeling burning through me is making me feel unhinged.
Jeremy sobs with pleasure, and I pull him closer, my arm snaking around his waist, reveling in the feel of him surrounding me. “I’ve got you,” I murmur even though the words hurt my chest because they’re a lie.
There’s something wet on my cheeks, and I realize that I’m crying, tears streaming down my face. I lick salt from my lips and choke back a sob and dig my fingers into Jeremy’s hips until the tips whiten and I’m sure I’m bruising his perfect skin.
I can’t stand this. It’s all too much. It’s not enough.
I come with a roar, giving up my control for this man one last time. I’m still deep inside him, unloading everything in my balls, my orgasm blacking out my vision, as little white specs dance across my periphery like stardust.
Jeremy goes taut beneath me, and he grunts as white ropes of cum spray across the comforter. He collapses flat on top of the mess, and I fall with him. I tug him against my chest, my softening cock still buried in his body.
When he tries to pull away, I hold him tight, trying with all my might to control the onslaught of new tears. I can’t let him turn around. He can’t see me like this. He’ll know.
This is it, Starlight.
He relaxes in my hold with a soft sigh, beyond blissed out, and after a few minutes, his breaths grow even.
I turn my face into the pillow and fucking cry like I’ve never cried before, everything in me breaking and splintering apart.
Sorrow and guilt inundate me, pulling me down a deep hole, leaching away all the color and light.
Eventually, my cock falls free, and I know I need to leave. I manage to loosen my grip and gently roll Jeremy away from me, climbing out of the bed slowly so as not to jostle him. He murmurs something softly in his sleep, his face peaceful.
I fight another round of tears as I search for my scattered clothes and dress quickly. As I sit to put on my boots, T’s soft, furry head finds my palm in the darkness, nudging it affectionately.
“Take care of our boy, okay?” I whisper, choking on the words. He gives me a soft chirp in response.
I push up and shrug on my coat, and I don’t look back as I leave.