Chapter Eight
My cousin doesn’t waste any time. Neither do the podcasters for that matter. Turns out they’re not just in town doing the documentary. A new episode of their podcast drops the very next day when we’re on our way back from Underhill State Park.
Muriel, Hana, and I have been there before for our mission. But it’s reasonably close to town and worth another visit just to be safe. Nothing stood out to me, though. I don’t remember anything in particular about the place.
Though today wasn’t a complete waste. It was good to get out. And the dog is living his best life—going on walks and soaking up attention from everyone. We also spent quality time together. Just the four of us, with a strawberry and rhubarb pie that had the most amazing crust.
But back to the podcast we play on our way home.
Vermont doesn’t seem to have any laws about recording someone.
Whether it be an in-person conversation, over the phone, or electronic messaging.
Consent from one of the parties involved sort of makes it legal, as I understand it.
However, I had an expectation of privacy since the communication happened in my home.
Which is why Grace wanted me to sign the release.
Lack of it leaves the documentary makers open to a possible civil suit from me.
Though certain federal laws could also kick in and further complicate things, apparently.
I don’t know. I think that’s how it all works.
There hasn’t been time to talk to my lawyer yet.
So this information all comes courtesy of some middle-of-the-night internet searches.
But the podcasters must basically agree with me since they don’t play the recordings taken by Grace.
They rely on her to repeat both the salient facts and insinuations.
A brief recitation of our childhood years kicks off the episode.
All of those summers we spent together. It blows my mind how complete strangers could be interested in any of this.
That they could be invested in the nonsense we did when we were eight.
But they eventually reach my college years and the unraveling of my life, and so on.
“Sidney hasn’t moved on from that poor woman’s death or the court case,” says Grace. “These events still very much dominate her life.”
“In what way?” asks one of the podcasters.
Grace clears her throat. “Well, she’s isolated herself and doesn’t date, for starters.”
“Do you think that’s because she feels guilty?”
“I don’t know if my cousin is guilty of anything,” says Grace, speaking sense for a brief beautiful moment. “It could all just be an understandable reaction to the horrible things that happened to her.”
“No shit,” grumbles Muriel from the passenger seat.
“How else has it affected her?” asks the interviewer in his deathly serious voice.
“She’s obsessed with true crime,” says Grace. “Has books about it all over her house.”
“Oh, come on.” My fingers squeeze the steering wheel. “There were like a couple on the dining room table.”
Hana winces. “And then there’s your library in the study.”
“Yeah, but she didn’t see that, so it doesn’t count.”
“True.”
The dog gives an almighty huff from the backseat of the Subaru. I take it to be in support of me. Hana is giving him ear scratches, another thing he approves of mightily.
“What are her feelings regarding the documentary?” asks the interviewer.
“When we set out to do this project, it was important to us to represent all sides of this story. With respect for the victim or possible victims coming first and foremost, of course. We’ve tried contacting Sidney numerous times and never received a reply.
And when we knocked on her door recently, she was extremely hostile. ”
“That was surprising,” interjects another dude. “The violence of her reaction was almost unhinged. How many times did she kick you? Three? Four?”
“Go fuck yourself.” I shake my head. “You tried to invade my home and then stopped me from shutting the door.”
Muriel just sighs.
“Yeah. I agree, Steve,” says the first guy.
“It’s as if she wants to stop us and suppress this story for some reason.
To hide the truth and the careful and balanced reporting we’re working so hard to reveal to the authorities, the general public, and of course you—our loyal listening audience.
If you’re new to our show, don’t forget to hit that subscribe button.
Updates about this case are coming in all the time and you don’t want to miss out! ”
“You sure don’t. We appreciate you being here today, Grace,” says Steve. “What else can you tell us?”
My cousin sighs. The woe is real. “Sidney can be secretive and hard to read. We’re very close. So close. But like I said before, while my cousin used to be outgoing, these days she’s more of a private person. Someone who finds it hard to trust. Even me.”
“Things really changed inside of her during those late teen years, didn’t they? Around the time when she started college and met Ryan. It’s as if who she was as a person was somehow altered, and not for the better. Did she perhaps experience an event that turned her to the dark side?”
“I don’t know about that. But her ease with violence certainly surprised me,” answers Grace. “Having a punching bag in the house and all. We weren’t raised to be aggressive like that. I mean, she has calluses on her hands from hitting things, for goodness’ sake.”
Grandma bought me my first pepper spray. But whatever.
“Were you ever frightened in your cousin’s presence?” asks the first interviewer. The one whose name we don’t know. “Scared for your safety?”
“I want to say no,” answers my cousin with a waver in her voice. “But it would be a lie.”
“It’s okay, Grace. Take your time. We know this must be upsetting for you.”
Hana scoffs. “Is this lying traitorous hyperbolic bitch actually crying?”
“She was a theatre kid for a while,” I say.
“What I think is important here is that I believe Sidney is looking for the bodies of the other missing women,” continues Grace.
Shit.
“Why do you think that?” asks Steve.
“On her dining table, I saw a printout of an article about cadaver dogs. How they’re able to detect dead bodies and then signal to their trainers. Stuff like that.”
“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” The excitement in the podcaster’s voice is palpable.
“That there’s a proven history of criminals involving themselves in their cases?
Yes indeed,” says Steve. “We’ve often seen these sorts of people insert themselves into an investigation to enable them to feel important and clever.
While allowing them to relive some of the thrill they experience when killing, of course, by talking about what happened with detectives. ”
“Kemper used to hang out at a cop bar. Bundy liked to pose as one!”
“Not to forget the Golden State Killer actually worked as one for several years. These sorts of people are often attracted to officials and the power they wield. What an amazing development. And dare I say another strong indicator that Sidney was far more involved in the death of Briana Petersen than she’s admitted.
Just as we suspected.” Steve’s voice is as excited as can be.
“Or is she researching how investigators might find the hidden bodies?”
The second podcaster oohs and ahhs. “You could very well be right.”
“Or it could mean she’s trying to help,” says Grace, sounding perturbed by their spin. “By trying to find the bodies of the other missing women. Which is what someone caught up in this horrible situation might do, right?”
“But we know that Ryan didn’t have anything to do with those other women going missing,” says Steve. “The local police have said he’s not a person of interest.”
“What if they’re wrong?” asks Grace. “I know there’s at least one online true crime community trying to find a connection.”
Which is not what the podcasters want to hear. “What else can you tell us about your cousin, Grace?”
Guess she sees dollar signs flash before her eyes.
Because it takes her a moment, but she comes up with more.
“I also sensed that Sidney had a lot of animosity toward Ryan’s mom.
She said she still does therapy once a month when she needs it.
But she seemed to have a lot of unresolved negative feelings around his family. ”
“That doesn’t surprise us. Dianne has been a bastion of strength to her son over the years.
Her righteous anger and dedication to seeking justice for Ryan remains fierce and undaunted.
The access she’s given us during the making of this podcast and the upcoming documentary are just…
I don’t know how we would have done it without her. ”
“That’s right, Mike,” says the other dude.
“Yeah. But she thinks he’s innocent because a psychic told her, right?” asks Grace. “It’s not exactly scientific evidence. Next you’ll be judging Sidney based on her aura or birthstone or something.”
“The case is extremely complex and involved,” answers Steve in a rush. “We don’t want to diminish other people’s spiritual beliefs. Thank you so much for coming in today, Grace. Your insights on your cousin have been invaluable and we sure appreciate the access you granted us.”
They move on to telling listeners where they can buy Team Ryan and Team Sidney tees. Then they announce they’ll be interviewing my old hairdresser. She has a lot to say, apparently. Give me strength. The voices cut off as Hana stops the podcast and silence fills the vehicle.
“Wonder if they’ll talk to the person who does your waxing,” says Muriel in her usual dry tone.
“Of course, it was the repeated pain of getting my pubic hair ripped out that tipped me over the edge. You know that, right?”
Hana snorts. “Something had to send you to the dark side.”
“What absolute baloney.” Muriel shakes her head. “Balanced reporting my ass. They’re a pair of hacks.”