Chapter 25
Camden
My dad’s smile fades. “What?”
“You should have kept your mouth shut then, just like you should shut it now.”
His expression turns serious. “Camden, don’t speak to me like that. I’m your father.”
I roll my eyes and shake my head. “Look at your fiancée, Dad. You think she’s in the mood to hear you tell stories about getting into public fights with your ex-wife?”
His brow furrows as he gazes at me, like he’s never been more confused.
“Camden, I was just telling a funny story.”
“It’s not a funny story,” I snap, annoyed and angry that he’s still this clueless.
“It’s not funny that you cheated on Mom, and that’s why you two got divorced.
It’s not funny that she’s still mad at you after all these years because that’s proof of how much you hurt her.
Did that ever occur to you? That maybe she doesn’t date after all these years because you did a number on her when you cheated on her with her best friend?
And maybe that’s why she’s still angry with you and picks fights with you, because you betrayed her in the worst way and never even apologized for it? ”
“Wait, you cheated?” Jenna asks him. She looks stricken as she waits for my dad to answer her.
His face goes pale as he stammers. He turns to her. “Sweetie, it was a long time ago.”
I scrub a hand over the side of my face and stand up. I glance over at Jenna and feel a pang of guilt land at the center of my chest. As much as my dad deserves to be told off, Jenna doesn’t deserve to get hurt.
“I’m sorry,” I say to her. “We should go.”
Ellie stands up and follows me out of the bar and back to our room.
“Fuck,” I mutter when we walk through the door.
Ellie touches my hand softly. “Hey. Are you okay?”
I shake my head. “Not really. I probably blew up my dad’s engagement just now. I kind of feel like shit.”
“That’s not your fault, Camden. Your dad should have been honest with Jenna. It sounds like he was hiding that from her.”
I’m quiet for a second as I look at her.
“And it wasn’t cool the way he was joking about your mom like that. I really respect you for defending her.”
That knot of guilt inside of me starts to loosen. “You really think that?”
She nods. “I…I didn’t know that’s why your parents fought so much when you were a kid. Because your dad cheated on your mom.”
I let out a heavy breath and sit down on the edge of the bed. “He really hurt her. And it makes me mad that he doesn’t seem to realize just how much.”
Ellie sits next to me.
“That must have been really upsetting for you to be around as a kid,” she says.
“It was rough. I hated all the fighting and screaming. I just wanted to get away from it all.”
Ellie looks at me for a long moment. “That’s why you were always hanging out at my house when we were kids, wasn’t it?”
“Well, that and your mom always had the best snacks. Those peanut butter-filled pretzels she always fed me were my favorite.”
Ellie chuckles and snorts softly. The tension in my neck muscles loosens. God, I love hearing her laugh.
“That’s why you were involved in so many activities as a kid too, right?” she asks.
I rub the back of my neck and let out a heavy breath. “Yeah. Anything to keep me busy and away from the chaos at home.”
“How are things now with your parents? Do they see each other much?”
I shake my head. “They try not to be around each other unless they have to. Almost every time they see each other, it ends up in a fight,” I say.
“The last time they had to be around each other was during the championship game of the Stanley Cup. They managed to take a photo with me and the trophy and not kill each other. They’ve come a long way from when they would scream at each other while watching me play in college.
The refs would throw them out so many times, they got banned from my games for a while. It was so embarrassing.”
Ellie’s expression turns pained. “Oh my god. That’s awful.”
I shrug. “It is what it is.”
Ellie grabs my hand. The comfort I feel is instant. Her touch is so warm, so calming.
“Look, I’m glad that your parents were able to behave when you won the Stanley Cup, but it’s still messed up how often they let their relationship bleed into the things going on in your life,” she says.
“They should have put aside their feelings for each other and just supported you. You’re their kid.
Your comfort and well-being should have been their priority, no matter what. ”
I’m quiet as I think about what she said.
“I never really thought about it like that,” I finally say. “It always felt like I was the reason for their fighting.”
She shakes her head. “You’re not. None of this is your fault, Camden.”
That warmth coursing through me deepens at the way she comforts me.
“Thanks for saying that.”
She squeezes my hand and smiles softly. “Of course.”
“And now you know why I wasn’t interested in ever being married. For love, that is,” I say. “Because I grew up watching my parents’ marriage fall apart in the worst way.”
Sadness flashes in her big blue eyes as she looks at me.
I let out a sad chuckle. “Pretty cliche, right? I’m a child of divorce who never wants to get married.”
She shakes her head. “I understand why though. Why would you want to get married when your only example of it was a trainwreck?”
“I just…” I work up the nerve to say something I’ve never said out loud.
“I’m scared of getting hurt. I’m scared of getting my heart broken by the person I love most in the world.
I can’t think of anything worse.” I exhale sharply.
“That’s why I don’t do relationships. That’s why I’ll never marry for real.
I know I wouldn’t be able to handle it when things end. It would destroy me.”
I take a breath, feeling lighter after saying all that. “I’ve never admitted that to anyone before,” I say, looking at our joined hands.
“It means a lot, you telling me,” she says softly.
“I feel like I can tell you anything.”
The look in her eyes is soft. “Yeah?”
I nod. “You’re really easy to talk to. I can be honest with you, and you won’t think I’m a jerk.”
Her expression is warm as she looks at me. “Never.”
She rests her head on my shoulder, and that warm feeling inside of me spreads. Even after what happened last night, when I made her uncomfortable, here she is, holding my hand, comforting me.
“Camden?”
“Yeah?
“About last night. I should explain why I shut down the way I did.”
That knot from earlier springs up in the pit of my stomach again.
“You don’t need to explain anything, Ellie. I’m the one who caused you to feel that way. I made you uncomfortable. And I’m so, so sorry for that.”’
She sits up, lets go of my hand, and looks at me. “No, Camden. It was all me. And I need to explain why.”