Chapter 13
Rowan
I woke up slowly, my eyes fluttering open, my body taking stock of everything around me—the soft sheets, the plush comforter, the pillows that seemed to cocoon me like I had made my own personal nest. I blinked rapidly, trying to take it all in so I could figure out where the hell I was.
The light that filtered in through the blinds was soft.
I had no way of knowing what time it was exactly, but the sun was high in the sky, so it definitely wasn’t early.
My heat had subsided. Finally. Although it had subsided quicker than my usual heats, since I’d spent them alone.
Reid had been here to make things go quicker and also make it so incredibly amazing that I wished for it to be longer.
At one point during the day, he had had to leave for a team meeting or an early practice?
I didn’t remember the details. When he had come home, two hours later, he had found me fucking myself on a dildo I kept in my heat kit.
I had missed him. I had wanted him.
That had been the last time we’d come together.
Was that last night or earlier today? I put the heels of my hands against my eyes.
Fuck. This was going to complicate things.
I hoped he knew that everything I had done, I had done willingly.
I hoped that everything that we had done, he had done willingly.
I didn’t regret it. Not a single moment or thought or touch.
He had to feel the same. None of that had felt fake or forced.
I would never regret this heat spent with Reid.
“I should hope not.” Reid’s voice brought me back to reality. He stepped into the room carrying a tray. The scent of fresh coffee filled my nostrils. I groaned.
“I don’t think I meant to say that out loud,” I said, “but it’s true. I don’t regret anything. I’m sorry.”
His head tilted. He came closer to me. I pushed myself up so that my back was against the headboard.
He set the tray over my lap. It was one of those fancy ones designed for breakfast in bed; the only thing missing was one of those vases that fit a single flower.
Did he often bring people breakfast in bed?
He climbed into bed next to me. He wore a pair of workout pants and a t-shirt with the team’s logo on the front. My own mascot face looked back at me.
“Thank you,” I said. My cheeks heated. “For everything, but also the coffee and whatever this is.” I hadn’t looked at the plate long enough to figure out what he was serving me.
He chuckled. “It’s an omelet made with four eggs, lots of cheese, and ham. You need some protein in your body.”
“I don’t regret anything that happened,” I said again. “But I’m sorry if you felt pressured to help me through everything.”
Reid leaned into me, pressing a kiss to my neck. He breathed in my scent like it was his own personal nourishment.
“I don’t regret a single thing either, Rowan. And it pains me that you think you need to apologize. I meant every word, every touch. If I’m honest, I feel that I may have taken advantage of your heat.”
“You would never—”
“I know. Not like that. It just forced me to act rather than debate inside my own head about what to do about this attraction I have for you. Perhaps I regret that we didn’t get the chance to talk more before everything happened.
I know you were willing. I know I was willing.
This wasn’t us caught up in the moment, and we may have done things a little backwards, but we can fix that.
I’d like to take you on a date tomorrow, after morning skate. ”
“We have a game.”
He shook his head. “Not today. Tomorrow, we board a plane, then we’re on the road for a week. This afternoon and tonight will probably be our last chance to be alone for a while.”
“I—and being alone with me is something you want?” Maybe I was still in heat and this was actually a fever dream. Any minute now I’d wake up in that ice bath at the arena.
He grinned. “Yes, I do. If that’s something you want.”
My shoulders hunched, and I braced myself for reality. I was going to lay it all out there. “I don’t want you to feel like you owe me anything, like it’s your responsibility to date me now that you spent my heat with me. It’s okay if this is all we ever have.”
He tucked a finger under my chin and forced me to look at him.
“Rowan, kitten. Are you listening to me? I wanted this. I wanted you. Want you. Always. I like you, Rowan. You’re a fantastic human being, a great asset to the team—which is not something I thought I’d ever say about a mascot.
You’re a good friend to the players. I like you. I want to get to know you better.”
The intensity in his gaze was something I only ever saw when he was coaching and a win was just within reach. “I’d like that, too,” I said.
“Good. Now eat. You really need to get protein and refuel your body. We had a very busy twenty-four hours.”
“I have to go into the office and make sure everything is ready for while we’re on the road. I missed a ribbon-cutting event yesterday. I don’t know what it was for, but I was supposed to be there.”
Reid shrugged one shoulder. “I asked Mario to let the marketing team know you weren’t going to make it. I think he got Evan to go in your place.”
“Oh.”
I shoveled a few forkfuls of the omelet into my mouth. It was absolutely divine. The flavors exploded on my tongue. Considering I had been living on protein bars and bottled water since my heat started, this was like heaven.
“Did you make this?” I asked.
He nodded.
“I didn’t know you could cook.”
He shrugged. “I get tired of takeout and restaurant food, so when I’m home, I cook. Can I ask you something?”
“Of course,” I said
“Five years ago...”
I stilled, my body going tense all around. He laid a hand on my thigh.
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to bring up bad memories. We don’t have to talk about it right now.”
“No, I think that I should explain.” I licked my lips.
“I had never done anything like that before. I was so desperate to belong somewhere that I—I thought it would work. Everyone always told me I was irresistible. I let it get to my head.” I laughed.
The idea seemed ridiculous now that I could use my looks and my body to get something that I wanted.
“I’m sure it would work, depending on who I approached, but it wasn’t the type of person I wanted to be. ”
“Did you have to leave college after that? I asked about you, but no one really knew anything.”
I swallowed thickly. “Yeah, I had to drop out. My parents said I couldn’t be in college if I wasn’t on the team. They only let me go because I had a chance. I mean, I sort of had a chance. Clearly, I didn’t have an actual chance.”
Reid grimaced. “If I’d known, we could have—”
I shook my head. “No, I—I had some things I needed to learn, and I’m back in school now.
” It wasn’t the time to get into the nitty-gritty details of what my home life had been like.
What was important was that I was on my own now, and I didn’t rely on my parents anymore.
I’d love to say that they were happy with my success and proud of my accomplishments, but the truth was, they didn’t really care.
He tucked the hair behind my ears, brushing his fingertips over my temple then down my neck. “I want to learn all about what you’ve been up to the past five years, and I want you to tell me everything about how you became a mascot.”
I chuckled. “Well, that was kind of by accident. I met Evan at a sports camp. I was just working as a counselor, and he was there volunteering. He saw some of the silly things I did on the ice for the kids to keep them entertained between the sessions with the actual players, and he asked me to try out for the mascot position.”
“You’re great out there. You really do bring the energy.”
“I try,” I said, with a smile.
“You succeed.”