Chapter 7
Chapter Seven
A little knock pulled me from finishing the last touches on my drawing.
Roe was leaning against the doorframe with my new chem textbook tucked under his arm.
He was still in his uniform, sans the Kendry burgundy blazer and tie, and the sleeves of his dress shirt were rolled up almost to his elbows.
From head to toe, he was in all black. He reminded me so much of a charcoal drawing.
The corner of his mouth lifted. “No hello? You’re just going to stare?”
I met his storm-blue eyes and nodded.
He pushed off the doorframe and walked over. I had expected to see Wyatt or Mac come in behind him, but remembered they both had work today.
Once he made it over to where I was sitting in bed, he leaned down. Knowing what he intended, I tilted my head back and his lips pressed to mine.
I was disappointed that it was just a peck. As he pulled away, I asked, “Is that all?”
Smiling, he put his hand on the back of my head before covering my mouth with his again and kissing the hell out of me.
I couldn’t lift my arms to touch him without it hurting.
So all I could do was be at his mercy as his lips and tongue showed me just how much he desired me.
It felt so good to feel something other than the bad.
Before I could get too breathless and my lips too swollen, he pulled away. He ran his thumb along my bottom lip. “Better?”
No, but I nodded anyway.
He set the textbook on the side table. “Here’s your new chemistry book.”
“Thanks for picking it up for me.”
Roe moved around to the other side of the bed and lay down on his side next to me, propped up on his elbow.
“I had to pick it up from the library. Lemon Caswell was there. She asked about you and if I’d give you her number.
” He pulled out a folded-up piece of paper.
As he handed it to me, he added, “She also wrote down some book suggestions to help pass the time while you are ‘sick.’”
I unfolded the paper and saw her number at the top. Below that were five book titles. I knew they were all romance.
“Those are some interesting books she recommended,” he said.
I glanced his way, finding him smirking. “You looked up the titles, didn’t you?”
“Oh yeah.” His smirk turned into a grin.
“I know Wyatt gave you the idea to read romance books, but when I saw that Her Dark Desires was the tamest title written down on that list, I realized you weren’t reading wholesome love stories.
Did you know that readers described one of the books Lemon recommended to you as ‘monster smut’? ”
I almost smiled. “Are you judging?”
“Not at all. I wanted to know what you like to read. I do feel like I fell down a dirty rabbit hole, though.”
The corners of my mouth twitched.
“I read up to chapter ten of Her Dark Desires. So far, the plot is pure filth.” He sounded shocked and impressed at the same time.
I could have told him that just from the title. “When did you have time to read ten chapters?”
“I downloaded the book on my phone during lunch.”
I was impressed. “Ten chapters in less than an hour. The filth must be good, then.”
He tucked my messy hair behind my ear. I hadn’t styled it or worn makeup since coming here. For once, I didn’t strive for perfection.
“Would you like me to tell you what I know about the story so far or do you want to read it for yourself?” he asked.
I thought about it. “I’d rather catch up with you and then discuss it.”
He grabbed my sketchbook and pencil out of my lap and tossed them on the foot of the bed, out of the way, before he moved to rest his head on my lap.
He lay facing my stomach and snaked his arm between my back and the pillows behind me.
“Then I’ll hold off on reading any more until your books arrive tomorrow. ”
I tossed Lemon’s number over by my sketchbook and ran my fingers through his soft black hair. “What do you mean?”
He nuzzled his nose against my lower stomach through my shirt. “I ordered the books Lemon recommended online for you. They’ll be delivered here tomorrow.”
I dragged my nails up the back of his neck and through his hair, massaging his scalp. “You didn’t have to do that.”
He groaned. “I wanted to. I worry you’re bored and lonely during the day.”
“Bram’s here with me.”
He peeked up at me. “How’s that going?”
I shrugged.
“What about you? How are you doing?”
I shrugged again. “I’ll heal.”
“What about on the inside?”
My hand in his hair went still. I didn’t want to lie to him. At the same time, I didn’t want to worry him, either.
He sat up, meeting my eyes. Searching and waiting for my answer.
I looked down, afraid of what he might see. “Sometimes I don’t feel anything. I’m numb, I guess. Other times, I feel too much and it’s never the good feelings. I got into it with Bram earlier. I was angry and scared. I just need reasons. I need to know if what I’m doing is right.”
“What do you mean by reasons?”
I shook my head. “I don’t know what I’m saying. The pain pills make me loopy.” I regretted the lie the moment I said it.
He leaned down to try and catch my eyes. “Can I do anything?”
I looked up with a forced smile I’d had years of practice putting on my face. “I just need time to work things out.” It was as honest as I would be.
He stared at my mouth. “You can take all the time you need.”
My fake smile grew tight and uncomfortable. “How was school?”
He frowned. “You don’t have to use small talk to change the subject.”
“Maybe I really want to know.”
His eyes wandered until they caught on my drawing. “It’s not as great without you there.”
“We don’t have any classes together this year,” I pointed out.
“Doesn’t mean I don’t look for you every day.” He picked up the sketchbook and stared down at the drawing. “You drew the Kendry Bridge again.”
I didn’t react. “Did you look for me before?”
He smirked. “Before what, Lottie?”
“We—” I paused, unsure what to say. Before we started hanging out?
Sneaking around? Becoming friends? Dating?
It opened the conversation up to clarifying what we were to each other.
Last time we’d had that conversation, we got into a fight.
I couldn’t be his when Mother was selling me off to Brandon.
Now things were all up in the air. Was I truly free from Mother?
What was going to happen to me? Was I still a Kendry?
I was unsure about everything. I took my sketchbook from him. “Never mind.”
“Lottie?”
The moment my eyes met his, he leaned in and kissed me.
At first, I was surprised, but I quickly kissed him back.
His lips moved with mine in a way that wasn’t rushed.
Not like before, when he first got here.
He kissed me like we had all the time in the world.
It slowed my world down, too. There was just me and him.
He was like an anchor. With the brush of his tongue, the feel of his lips, his smell, his closeness, he was reminding me that there were still good things to experience.
Not just the bad. I wondered if he understood the power he had over me.
He pulled away. “From the first moment I saw you, I’ve always looked for you. In the halls. At lunch. Even at parties. The few times we’ve had class together over the years, I had the hardest time focusing because I felt this pull to only stare at you.”
I wanted to tell him that it was the same for me.
I had felt that pull, but I couldn’t form the words.
So instead, I put my hand in his and tugged a little.
He smiled as he leaned close again. I rested my head on his shoulder.
My hand slid up from his along his inner arm until I reached the bend of his elbow.
As much as I wanted to wrap my arms around his neck to hug him properly, it hurt to lift them.
This was the best I could do. He seemed to understand that and placed a hand on the back of my head, hugging me back.
We held each other like that for a while until I felt Roe tense up. Before I could ask him what was wrong, he said, “Bram’s staring at me like he wants to tie me up and drag me behind his bike down the highway.”
I pulled away to find Bram by the door, arms folded over his chest, glaring at Roe.
“Are you upset?” Bram asked me.
I shook my head.
“Then why is he hugging you?” Bram grumbled.
“Because I hugged him,” I said.
His eyes snapped to me and the glare he’d given Roe immediately disappeared. “I know you’re legally an adult now, but I think we should have a talk about how stupid boys are at your age.”
“I’m well aware already,” I said. Brandon was a prime example.
Roe glanced at me with a furrowed brow and Bram seemed pleased that I agreed with him.
“That’s why I wouldn’t waste my time with just anyone,” I added.
Bram’s pleased expression melted away. Roe looked like he was fighting not to smile.
“Looks like she got you there, Bram,” said a female voice just before Vivian popped her head out from behind Bram and stepped beside him.
She gave me a genuine smile. “We’re sorry to interrupt.
Bram told me it was getting easier for you to swallow and walk around.
I’m making a pasta dish tonight that shouldn’t give you any trouble to eat.
I was wondering if you would like to join us for dinner in the dining room instead of eating in your room.
Only if you’re comfortable and ready, of course.
Please don’t feel like you have to.” She glanced at Roe. “You’re welcome to join us, too, Roe.”
“No, he’s not—”
Vivian elbowed Bram’s side, making him grunt before he could finish speaking.
“Thank you for the offer, but my dad’s off tonight and I promised to have dinner with him,” Roe said. That meant he wouldn’t be hanging out with me for much longer.
I did like the idea of leaving the room for a while. Mac wouldn’t get home until late tonight. So it would just be Bram, Vivian, and me. I could handle that. “I’ll come to dinner.”