Chapter 10
CHAPTER TEN
PASTEUR
Okay, so maybe that wasn’t his finest moment.
This wasn’t how he ever imagined proposing. Heck, this wasn’t a normal proposal. But then again, nothing about Lila was normal, and nothing between them had ever followed the rules. With her, there was no pretense, no careful maneuvering, no tiptoeing around feelings. It was raw, unfiltered honesty—a connection so rare it made his chest ache just thinking about it.
And if he was going to do this—if he was going to give her his heart, his future, and his name—then he’d do it without hesitation. Without fear. Without conditions.
Because he was already lost.
Completely, irrevocably lost in her.
Louis hadn’t planned for this, hadn’t expected it, but the moment she’d spoken so casually about wanting a child—just tossed it out there like it was any other thought—something inside him shifted. A deep, undeniable certainty settled in his bones. She trusted him. Maybe more than she even realized. And knowing that? It made him feel invincible like he could lasso the stars and lay them at her feet.
He believed in signs, in being led to the right moment, and in knowing when to take the leap. And right now, every part of him was screaming that this— she —was his path.
His fingers twitched, itching to reach for her, to pull her in and convince her that this wasn’t crazy. That what they had was real; that she was it for him.
“Lila,” he tried again, his voice softer this time, willing her to see what was in his eyes. “I want you to marry me. I want to give you a home where you can feel safe, where you know—without a doubt—that you are appreciated, loved, and wanted. I want to be the person you lean on, the one who helps you heal from the past. We don’t have to rush. We can take our time. But I need you to know—I believe in marriage.”
Her lips parted, but no words came out. She blinked at him, stunned, as though she wasn’t sure if she’d heard him correctly.
“I… I don’t know what to say,” she finally stammered.
His heart clenched. He wasn’t sure what he expected, but he hadn’t prepared for this —the uncertainty, the hesitation.
“We could take it slow,” he assured her, his voice steady even though his pulse was anything but. “We could date. We don’t have to rush into anything. Just like our first kiss, we could wait until you’re ready for anything else. But I want to be in your life, Lila. I want to know you more, to have you close, to build something real with you.”
Her throat bobbed as she swallowed, her gaze flickering over his face like she was searching for something.
“But you’re talking about me moving almost a thousand miles from where I live now…”
“I know,” he admitted, exhaling. “It’s a lot. But I wanted you to see this place with me, to picture what our future could look like.”
He reached for her hand, threading his fingers through hers, and gently pulled her down the hallway. The apartment was empty, just a shell of what it could be, but when he looked at it, he saw them .
A life.
A future.
“There’s no reason we couldn’t make this into a nursery,” he said, pushing open a door. His voice was quieter now, almost reverent. “And this—this would be our room. There’s a laundry room…”
“Oh, goody,” she deadpanned.
The tension cracked, and he laughed, but it was nervous, unsteady.
“Lady, have I ever told you how amazing I am at folding towels?”
“Good, because I hate laundry.”
“I’ll do the laundry,” he offered, shrugging. “You can do the dishes. We’d be partners. I’d take half of everything.”
“But my job…”
“Get one here if you want,” he said simply. “Or don’t. Just be happy. With me.”
She sucked in a sharp breath.
“You’re serious.”
“As a heart attack.”
He wasn’t pressuring her. He wasn’t expecting an answer right now. He just needed her to know that the door was open, and that he was offering her something real.
“I’m throwing it out there and giving you options,” he said carefully, gauging every shift in her expression. “If now isn’t the right time, I get it. But the offer stands. If you ever want to choose a different path, I’d be right here.”
“Marriage?”
His jaw tightened.
“I won’t touch you without it.” His voice was firm, but there was an unmistakable softness in his eyes. “I respect you too much to fool around with you without giving you my name.”
A long silence stretched between them.
She looked at him like she didn’t know what to do with him, like he was something foreign and terrifying and maybe, just maybe, exactly what she wanted.
“We barely know each other,” she whispered.
A slow smile curved his lips.
“I’m willing to bet I know more about you than most people.” His voice dropped lower, teasing, intimate. “Stephanie saw to that. I really should thank her for connecting us… but not yet.”
“Oh?”
“I never said I was a good person,” he chuckled. “Let her stew for a bit…”
And then, miraculously , Lila laughed.
It was soft, breathy, perfect . And then, she moved into his arms, tucking herself against his chest like she belonged there.
Louis inhaled sharply, breathing her in, memorizing the way she felt against him, the warmth of her body, the faint scent of salt in her hair. He closed his eyes for a brief second, letting himself sink into the moment.
“We’ll always have carrot cake,” he murmured against her hair, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “I want us to always have a reason to celebrate. Could be a sunrise with you beside me—and cake. Could be winning the lottery—and cake.”
She was laughing softly now, holding onto him like she wasn’t quite ready to let go.
“You’re crazy, you know that?”
“Only about you,” he promised, his fingers brushing tenderly through her hair. “Only ever about you.”
Her laughter faded, and when she looked up at him, there was something different in her gaze. Something hesitant. Something terrified .
“I need to think about this,” she whispered like she was afraid of what he’d say.
His chest squeezed, but he forced himself to nod, to be patient.
“Of course,” he breathed, and he saw it then—the relief in her eyes. The quiet, unspoken thank you .
She needed space. She needed time. And if she needed a thousand years, he would wait.
“This is a big move,” he admitted, his voice gentle. “And I want you to be sure before you make it. The last thing I want is for you to regret taking a chance on me.”
“It’s just… a lot.”
“I know.”
She exhaled slowly. “Thank you.”
He nodded, but deep inside, disappointment curled low in his gut. He wished she was as sure about them as he was. But Lila wasn’t built for quick decisions, and he respected the hell out of her for being strong enough to take her time.
“Take all the time you need,” he said quietly. Then, with a playful smirk, he added, “But can I take you to dinner tomorrow night?”
A small smile played on her lips. “Absolutely.”
His heart kicked against his ribs.
“Great.”
That evening, lying in his bunk, Louis was filled with doubts, fears, and so much insecurity that it was painfully obvious even to him how much he wanted things to be differently.
“Are you okay, dude?” Ohio asked openly, causing Louis to look up from his Bible, where he’d been reading the same passage for the last hour – repeatedly. He couldn’t focus.
“Yeah, why?”
“You keep sighing.”
“A lot,” Tic-Tak added.
“It’s pretty bad,” Moonbeam tossed in, rolling over from his bunk. “If you need a rescue inhaler, go to medical. If you are bored, go to bed. But sighing like that every two minutes ain’t gonna get us sinners to read the Good Book.”
“You should,” Louis muttered flatly, shutting his book and checking his phone. No text messages. Dang it.
“What’s your deal?” Ohio asked curiously, looking over from his bunk as Tic-Tak flopped over the side, hanging upside down and looking at Louis.
“Inquiring minds wanna know…”
“Hush,” Louis retorted, pushing on the other man’s face and drawing his curtain shut for privacy. “It’s nothing. I’ve got a lot on my mind.”
“A certain blonde?”
“Yo. That’s why he shut the curtain…”
“That’s not why I shut the curtain,” Louis interjected hotly. “There is more to life than sex and girls.”
“What did he just say…?”
“No, he did NOT just say that…”
“Dude – Blasphemy from you ?”
“Et tu Brute?”
“Look,” Louis sighed heavily and yanked his curtain open again, glaring at the men who were smiling at him. “Yes, I’ve got a lot on my mind – and yes – it has to do with Lila. I like her, a lot. In fact, I asked her to marry me.”
“What’d she say?”
“That she’d think about it,” Louis muttered grimly, feeling his face heat up as he knew what was coming next. All three men flinched physically as they cringed and let out an ‘ Ooooh!’ in unison.
“Brother, that has to hurt.”
“I bet your nads crawled back up…”
“I bet he ain’t got none no more…”
“Oh my gosh,” Louis muttered, horrified and embarrassed. “First off – do you even speak English? Ain’t got none? Really ? Secondly, I shouldn’t have said anything to you dorks because you wouldn’t understand. And third – Ohio, you should know out of everyone…”
“Nope!” the other man said rolling over and shutting his curtain, yanking it loudly to where the bearings clattered in the small groove that it hung from. The other three men looked at each other in surprise.
“Has Ohio got a little something going…” Tic-Tak began, and Ohio quickly interrupted him.
“NO. I do not have anything going on – good night.”
The two men looked at Louis, raising their eyebrows in shock, and Louis lifted one brow, drew his curtain closed slowly as if to taunt them, and then lay back on his bunk to check his phone again… and sighed.
“Quit with the sighing!” someone hollered.
“Good night,” Louis answered flatly and texted Lila.
Sweet dreams, my friend. I can’t wait to see you tomorrow.