Chapter 11
CHAPTER ELEVEN
LILA
That evening, when Stephanie and Trophy returned to the apartment, Lila was still sitting on the couch, lost in the storm of her thoughts. The events of the afternoon played on a relentless loop in her mind—every stolen glance, every whispered word, every touch that had sent fire through her veins. And his confession… oh, Louis had laid himself bare before her, offering up his heart with a bravery that she could never seem to summon within herself.
Why couldn’t she be that brave?
Why didn’t she just say yes ?
Now, here she sat, watching Stephanie and Trophy move through the apartment in an easy, intimate dance of unspoken understanding. They exchanged hushed whispers and knowing smiles, their love a tangible force between them. Trophy’s hand brushed Stephanie’s back absentmindedly, his attention always on her, his devotion to her so clear it was almost blinding. And then there was Angel—the tiny, perfect cherub nestled in Lila’s arms.
Lila stared down at the baby, at the softness of her tiny cheeks, the delicate rise and fall of her breath. The weight of her was so small yet felt so profound, pressing against the hollow spaces inside Lila’s heart. The scent of newborn skin, the warmth of fragile life curled against her chest—it overwhelmed her. This was what Louis had offered her. A home, a family, love. A chance at something real, something lasting.
And she had let fear hold her back.
Because she had promised herself never again . Never again would she be trapped by a contract, by the weight of expectations, by a love that could one day turn into shackles.
She had clawed her way out of the wreckage once before—surviving it had taken everything she had. And what if she was wrong about Louis? What if, someday, he changed?
People always changed .
Promises always faded .
The thought of losing him as a friend was as terrifying as the idea of losing him as something more. Because Louis had become her person over these past months—the steady, grounding force that had pulled her from the dark and made her believe in warmth again. Without him… she didn’t know who she would be anymore.
A soft touch pulled her from her thoughts.
Stephanie settled beside her, tucking a stray lock of hair behind Lila’s ear in a gesture so achingly maternal that it made Lila smile, despite the turmoil inside her.
"What’s going on in that head of yours?" Stephanie asked gently, her voice laced with concern. "I know you and that look….”
Lila hesitated, but what was the point in hiding it? "Louis," she admitted quietly.
Stephanie’s brows lifted. "Pasteur?"
"Yeah."
Stephanie studied her, then narrowed her eyes. "Did he say something to hurt your feelings? You’ve looked like someone slapped you from the second we walked into the apartment—I was afraid it was me and the baby."
"No." Lila shook her head, exhaling a breath she hadn't realized she was holding. "But you could warn me next time you try to set me up with someone. That was pretty sneaky, making me think Pasteur was a pastor."
Stephanie grinned unapologetically. "He is a pastor."
"You know what I meant," Lila shot back, giving her friend a pointed look. "You knew exactly what you were doing. You set me up with someone you knew I’d click with and…"
Stephanie’s eyes sparkled with curiosity. "So you two clicked ?"
Lila swallowed hard. "We clicked."
Stephanie leaned in, her expression eager. "Like click clicked—or just clicked ? Girl, if clickage happened with Pasteur and you clicked him good, I need to know. He’s a cutie-patootie and?—"
"Hey now," Trophy called out from the kitchen, poking his head around the corner. "You are not allowed to think about Pasteur while wearing my wedding ring."
Stephanie slid the ring off her finger with exaggerated slowness, making Trophy’s mouth drop open.
"I’m kidding!" she said, laughing as she slipped it back on. "Sheesh, who knew you’d be so needy and clingy?"
"I’m not clingy."
"And I’m not talking about Pasteur like that, sweetheart."
Trophy huffed, disappearing back into the kitchen. The second he was out of sight, Stephanie waggled her brows at Lila and dramatically yanked off her ring again.
Lila just shook her head, unable to hold back a soft laugh.
Stephanie sighed, slipping the band back onto her finger. "Darn. I figured you two would be incredible together."
Lila hesitated before whispering, "Oh man, can he ever kiss…" She sighed, her eyes going hazy with memory before snapping back to Stephanie. "I think he’s in love with me."
Stephanie’s head snapped up. "What? Did he say that?"
Lila bit her lip. "He didn’t say love , but he said a whole bunch of other things that definitely alluded to it."
Stephanie leaned back, arms crossed. "If he didn’t say it, then it doesn’t count."
Lila groaned, throwing up her hands, and the baby jumped, flinging her little hands and feet outward before working her little lip once more and settling down again. "I know , right?! If they won’t commit to saying one word, what happens when things aren’t so great? What happens when the poop hits the fan? I’ve been there before, Steph. I lived it. And I won’t put myself in that position again."
Stephanie’s expression softened. "Lila, I don’t think Pasteur would ever?—"
"I know," Lila interrupted, her voice quiet, raw. She looked down at Angel, at the tiny miracle in her arms. "I know he wouldn’t. But I told myself I would never let someone in again. I don’t want to have to pick up the pieces of myself again. It nearly broke me last time, and if it was Louis…" Her voice faltered. " If it was him , I don’t think I’d survive it."
Stephanie's gaze was unwavering. "You love him, don’t you?"
Lila’s throat closed up. Her fingers curled tighter around the baby.
"I’m scared," she whispered.
"That’s not what I asked."
Lila swallowed hard. "That’s the only answer I’m ready to give."
Stephanie exhaled, watching her for a long moment. "But it doesn’t change what your heart already knows ," she murmured.
The kitchen door swung open, and Trophy returned with a glass of water, setting it down beside Stephanie before pressing a soft kiss to her temple. He murmured something against her skin—something low and private—that made Stephanie chuckle softly and nod.
Lila turned away, the intimacy of the moment too much to bear. The love between them was so obvious, so real. And it hadn’t always been easy for them. They had fought for what they had. They had chosen each other—again and again.
Could she and Louis do the same?
"Good night, Lila," Trophy said simply as he left the room.
Lila forced a smile, lifting a hand in farewell.
Stephanie watched her husband disappear before turning back to Lila, her voice softer now. "When you find someone who brings your heart joy just by existing … hang onto them. No matter how scared you are."
Lila inhaled sharply, blinking back the burn of tears.
"Here," she said, gently passing Angel back to Stephanie. "I think we should all get some sleep. It’s late."
Stephanie took the baby, but her eyes held Lila’s. " Think about what I said ," she urged. "Take a chance if he makes you happy. But if you’re not ready, if you have doubts, tell him . Just don’t let fear make the choice for you."
Lila sat in the quiet of the dimly lit room. She watched as the hallway light was turned off, and Stephanie disappeared behind closed doors with her husband. Lila could hear their voices in the distance and knew they were talking, but couldn’t make out what they were saying.
Her phone screen lit up on the coffee table, giving her a jolt of happiness that was so recognizable as she saw ‘Pastor’s’ text. A faint smile touched her lips because she hadn’t changed it yet in her phone directory – and did so now. She changed it to Louis with a heart beside his name.
Sweet dreams, my friend. I can’t wait to see you tomorrow.
Her heart was waging a war inside – except she wasn’t so sure that losing wasn’t actually winning in the long run. She enjoyed his messages, his little notes to boost her up, the way he supported her. The last two days had been full of highs and lows – and the lows didn’t seem so bad because he was there. That was worth something , wasn’t it?
I’m so glad we met…
And saw him replying almost immediately.
I am, too. I miss your smile.
Dang it… she thought wretchedly, feeling tears sting her eyes. Why did he have to be so amazingly perfect?
I miss your smile too – and I don’t wanna wait for dinner. How about breakfast again?
You’re on, sweetheart.
Say the word, and I’ll be there anytime you need me.
??
He followed that text with a heart.
Oh my gosh.
Could he be any more wonderful?
Closing her eyes, she thought about Stephanie’s words and swallowed the lump in her throat, thinking about Louis once again and wondering silently why she was even considering going back to Louisville ever again.
Early the next morning, Lila checked her phone… and laughed softly against her pillow, smiling in disbelief. Louis sure was playful and waking up to a text like that had to be the funniest thing she’d seen in a while.
?? ?? ?? ??
Good morning…
Ahhh, I knew you would reach out when you are ready.
I just woke up. Cool your jets.
Consider them cooled just for you, my fair lady.
She laughed again softly and cringed as she heard whispers nearby.
“Oh my gosh, babe… they are giggly?”
“We were giggly too, honey.”
“I’ve never been giggly in my life.”
“Puh-lease – you are absolutely giggly and often. Every time I touch…”
“Hey now,” Trophy chuckled, interrupting Stephanie as Lila sat up, wide-eyed and shocked. “No describing it unless you plan on doing it – and we both know you just grunted a watermelon outta my favorite spot.”
“You are truly a cretin.”
“I love your pet names for me…”
“It wasn’t a pet name.”
“Oh. Can we get back to your best friend is hooking up with my best friend? How weird is that? It makes my skin crawl to think of them kissing or worse.”
“Well, you shouldn’t be picturing either of them kissing.”
“Did you not just hear your buddy? Were we not just talking about giggly moments?” Trophy began again, and this time, Lila decided to clear her throat loudly to announce that she could hear them.
“Good morning, you two.”
“Hey Lila,” Stephanie began from the bedroom. “I’ll be out in a few. I’m just feeding Angel…”
“And I’m not missing the show,” Trophy laughed in the distance, making Lila roll her eyes. “Can you put the coffee on?”
“Yup – and I’m getting a shower,” Lila volunteered, giving the two fair warning to use the restroom since there was only one bathroom in the apartment. As she scooped the coffee into the filter, she paused and stood there, holding the scoop and thinking.
This could be my apartment.
This could be my view.
That could be my Louis in the bedroom and then shook her head. Honestly, if she knew him like she suspected, he would be the one making coffee and would probably bring it to her in bed. The man honestly treated her like a queen, and she felt like the biggest fool brushing him off or hesitating. Starting the coffee, she grabbed her phone and texted Louis once more while the water was warming up for her shower.
Let’s discuss hypothetical situations over breakfast – and I’ll be ready in twenty minutes.
On my way.