Chapter 8
8
CHERRY
A week later…
“Hey J-Dude,” Cherry called out from the kitchen, trying to get Jeremy’s attention. He was pretty glum because they hadn’t received an email back from Evan yet, and she kept reminding him that sometimes it would take a while. “Let’s make dinner together and start plotting…”
She let the statement hang in the air, knowing her little ‘guppy’ would bite. Sure enough, Jeremy rounded the corner and looked at her curiously with an ‘Evan-expression’ that seemed too intense for his little face.
“Whaddya mean ‘plotting’?”
“Well – pull up a chair so you can reach the counter easily – and let’s talk, because last night on the news, they were saying school would be starting in two weeks.”
“Oh yeah,” he beamed.
“Exactly,” she replied and handed him a bag of pepperoni. “You put those on the pizza, and let’s talk. We’ve got to get you a few new shirts…”
“A backpack,” Jeremy interrupted. “All the cool kids have backpacks.”
“You don’t have any books yet.”
“But I will,” he countered in a matter-of-fact voice as he placed several pepperonis on the dough crust.
“I was thinking that we should get you a haircut and…”
“Nope.”
“What do you mean, ‘nope’?” she chuckled in disbelief. “You aren’t getting a haircut?”
“Nah, I’m going to let it grow because I’m in mourning.”
“Jeremy, do you even…” she sighed and tried to keep from laughing. “Do you know what ‘mourning’ means? You realize that when women would go into mourning, they would wear black, and some would cut their hair short as a show that they were grieving from the loss of a family member.”
“I lost a family member…”
“Your dad is very much alive.”
“So I should get my hair really short?”
“Are you wanting to show the world you miss him?”
“Yes. I miss him a bunch.”
“Me too, Tiger. Me too.”
“Then let’s both get haircuts,” Jeremy suggested slowly, giving her a sideways look. “I can get my hair cut really short, and you can too.”
Oh boy— she swallowed and hesitated, angling her head toward him in sudden realization. “Are you testing me to see if I would cut off my hair because you simply said so?”
“Meee?” Jeremy said dramatically, laying a hand on his chest with this wide-eyed expression that was less than innocent.
“Fine,” she quipped and looked at the misshapen pizza that wasn’t looking appealing in the slightest. “Get your shoes on.”
“Huh? I thought we were making pizza.”
“We’re gonna pick up a carryout pizza from Little Caesars – right after we get our hair cut.”
“We are? Wait— you are?”
“Yup – and you are right. If you are getting your hair cut short, then I can too,” she smiled easily. “It will be so much easier to fix, and this is a quick way to get rid of the split ends. I can just let it grow back or I might keep it short.”
“But Cherry, I really don’t want to get my hair cut.”
“If I can do it, you can do it…” she taunted playfully. “Remember? If we are in mourning because your dad is gone on deployment, then this is a good way to let it show. We can take a picture and email it to him. Better yet, we can get a lock of your hair and mail it to him.”
“This is crazy,” Jeremy chuckled, running for his shoes.
“Don’t test this crazy train, buckaroo,” she hollered after him playfully. “I’ll call your bluff every single time – and don’t you ever forget it.”
Thirty minutes later, Cherry was sitting in the barber’s chair staring down Jeremy. The little boy was squirming because, obviously, he wanted to back out of this, and she wasn’t going to let him. He needed to know who was boss, and he was going to look good for school if it killed her because she did not want Evan to regret leaving Jeremy in her custody while he was gone. It was all about who was in charge now.
Her.
“How much did you want to trim off, Mrs. Buchannan?”
“Short,” she said simply – and Jeremy choked out a sound of disbelief as she arched an eyebrow at him. “Trim it short, like a pixie cut. I’m not scared to have short hair.”
“You got it,” the man shrugged as Jeremy got this bug-eyed look on his face and his mouth dropped open. She heard the click and hum of the clippers and would never admit that at that moment, she broke out in a nervous sweat. Nope, she was proving who was the boss of this house, and Jeremy was going to do what she said – not the other way around.
“I want you to cut both of our hair the same,” she said firmly, not looking away from him as the little boy swallowed in understanding. The first massive chunk of hair fell on her shoulder, and she blinked several times to keep from crying. Nope. This child had no idea who he was dealing with, and she was as obstinate as a mule. As her curls were shorn off, her head already felt so much lighter, and Jeremy was now smiling at her.
“If I can do this, you can too,” she whispered.
“We can be twins,” Jeremy smiled, agreeing. “Daddy is going to be so surprised.”
“Yes, he is,” Cherry smiled as the barber trimmed up her neckline, dusted her off, and she got out of the chair. “Hop on up, Tiger. It’s your turn.”
They walked out of the barbershop down the hallway toward the entrances to the commissary and exchange. Everything was sort of contained in a single building on Mayport Road. She had only driven past here and this was much like an event going inside. Jeremy was pointing the way, leading her further inside. Cherry watched as everyone flashed their identification card and quickly began yanking out her wallet to do the same. It was like a clique that she was now a part of unknowingly, stepping into what looked like a Kohl’s on the inside. There was a jewelry counter, racks of clothing, shoes in the distance, home goods, and a chaotic cluster off to the right.
School supplies, she thought as Jeremy grabbed a buggy, following the arrows on the floor. They quickly dove into the chaos, grabbing a sheet of information that stated plainly the supplies he would need for school. Maybe it wasn’t chaos, but rather organized as much as possible for whatever mess this was, she thought silently, biting her tongue as a cart bumped her ankle.
“Switch positions,” she ordered to Jeremy, moving to take the cart and looking at him. “Let’s work together so you can pick out what you want, and I can steer us through this. Okay? Grab three spiral notebooks – any color you want…”
Jeremy dutifully ducked under a woman’s arm to stand in front of her, grabbing three spirals – and Cherry almost laughed as the woman turned to look at her in disbelief.
“He’s excited about school,” Cherry volunteered in the form of an apology. If someone was expecting her to be a perfect suburban mom, they were in for a rude awakening. She was a scrapper with a job to do – and Jeremy’s care was job number one.
They continued on, grabbing round-tipped scissors, glue sticks, crayons, and a plastic box to hold his pencils, and as she went to grab him a ruler, she heard Jeremy’s voice.
“HEY! I had that… nooooo, that’s not fair!”
Jeremy was clinging to a backpack on his shoulder with a panicked look of desperation on his face, sobbing. Cherry marched over, her vision focused on the woman who was trying to take the backpack off Jeremy – and slammed her cart into hers.
“Lady, I’m gonna say this once, but if you don’t get your freakin’ hands off my child, it’s going to be ugly! ” Cherry snarled, losing her temper. “Jeremy, get away from her because Mommy is about to act really badly.”
The woman just glared at them both. Jeremy struggled to pull away, but she would not let go of the backpack still attached to him. Cherry turned her head and screamed, ‘Security!’ at the top of her lungs, only for her to finally release the backpack, nearly sending Jeremy to the floor. He scrambled up and stood behind Cherry.
“My kid wants that Transformers backpack.”
“Then maybe you should have been quicker.”
“Look, just get him a different one…”
“Take your own advice,” Cherry retorted, pushing her cart past her – only for the woman to grab her by the arm. She looked at her, looked at the woman’s hand, and then back at her in the face. “Unless you are ready to be on the news this evening, I suggest you get your hand off of me.”
“It’s a backpack,” the woman retorted in disgust.
“Exactly,” Cherry replied cooly. “My child’s backpack, and I suggest you never touch him again, or I might not be so nice next time.”
The woman shouted a foul word after Cherry as she walked away with the cart, Jeremy clinging to her with the backpack still on him. They turned down another aisle, and her hands were trembling from adrenaline as she knelt in front of Jeremy.
“Did you have that backpack first – or did that lady?”
“Are you mad?” he whispered, his eyes huge.
“I’m not mad, but if she had it first – then we need to do the right thing. If you want a Transformers backpack that badly, we can order one online. It’s not worth lying or manipulating something to go your way. You always take the honorable way about it. Do you understand me?” she asked softly, seeing him nod.
She touched his cheek tenderly, wanting to reassure him. It was scary to do the right thing, but she needed to be sure that this, indeed, was what happened. Jeremy had to trust her, to know that he was safe with her and that she wasn’t angry with him – but she would always insist on being honest, even when it was hard to do.
“If you had the backpack first, I would defend you with my dying breath because you are my son now. No one will ever harm or take something from you because you are a part of my family. I’m your stepmom, and we have a special bond, you and me…”
Jeremy stood there, his lip quivering as he looked at her silently.
“Now, did you have the backpack first, or did she?” Cherry asked again softly, watching his expression and saw the guilty swallow.
“We grabbed it together,” he whispered tearfully. “I put it on while she had her hand on it.”
“What do you think we should do?” she asked softly, holding his gaze. “What would your dad suggest we do?”
“Give it back,” Jeremy said tearfully.
“Then let’s do that, and we’ll order one online.”
“Are you mad at me?”
“For doing the right thing – never.”
Jeremy flung himself into her arms, hugging her tightly as he cried pitifully. Cherry looked up to see the woman turning the corner of the aisle, looking completely startled to see them there and held up a finger.
“Jeremy, I think that is a very brave thing, and your dad would be proud – if he was here,” Cherry said quietly, hoping the woman picked up what she was saying.
“I liked that backpack…” Jeremy whimpered and pulled away, wiping his eyes. “And I guess that other kid would like it too. You promise we’ll order one when we get home?”
“Just like I said I’d get my hair cut short like you did.”
“You’re a pretty cool stepmom…”
“I’m trying, Tiger. I really am.”
Jeremy turned – and nearly jumped out of his skin, seeing the woman standing there. She looked at Cherry and looked at Jeremy just as Jeremy plucked the backpack out of the cart and put it in the other ladies.
“I’m doing the right thing,” he sniffled brokenly, making Cherry’s heart ache for him. She remembered breaking a vase when she was growing up and how badly she got in trouble for it. Lying never fixed anything, and Jeremy needed to learn it was better to face it head-on.
“So you are – and I appreciate it,” the woman said, her face softening. “My little boy is starting kindergarten this year and is really scared, so I’m hoping that he will feel like he fits in if he carries his favorite cartoon characters on his backpack.”
“They are really cool,” Jeremy agreed, chuckling and wiping his nose with his hand with a big ol’ push that was enough for Cherry to flinch in disgust.
“Yes, they are.”
“Maybe if I see the backpack at school, I can come say ‘hi’ to your little boy. I’m going to be in first grade, and it’s scary on the first day. Maybe we can be friends?”
“I think he would like that… and first grade, huh?” the woman smirked, and Cherry’s stomach flipped nervously with a sense of impending doom. “I teach first grade at Mayport Elementary – and I’m so glad we had this talk.”
Ohhh no , Cherry thought in a panic, getting to her feet.
“I’m so sorry about a few moments ago. I thought that…”
“You thought some stranger was trying to steal from your kid – and I understand. I would have come completely unhinged if it was my child…”
“Nearly did,” Cherry muttered under her breath, horrified and embarrassed. Murphy’s law was in full effect, and she couldn’t believe that this was happening to them. Talk about setting the tone for the school year, and it wasn’t a good one.
“But I also would have done the same,” the woman continued gently. “A teaching moment, if you will. This young man did a very brave thing that is really appreciated,” and held out her hand to Cherry. “No hard feelings?”
“I feel like a jerk…”
“How about a ‘protective mom’ instead of a ‘jerk,’” the woman smiled. “I hope we have a chance to talk again – and I hope you are in my class, young man. I bought a whole bunch of Transformers stickers as rewards.”
“Cooooool…” Jeremy drawled in disbelief. “You aren’t mad at me?”
“I’m relieved you were man enough to do the right thing – and I hope you do see my little boy. His name is Samuel.”
“Mine is Jeremy,” he volunteered and shook the lady’s hand. “Nice to meet you.”
“It’s nice to meet you both – and I hope to see you at school next week.”
As the woman walked away, Jeremy looked at Cherry in disbelief.
“Golly, I sure am glad I told that lady the truth. Can you imagine if I went to school the first day and she was my teacher?” Jeremy said, his voice full of disbelief. “That would have been soooo weird.”
“ Weird is not quite the word I’d use,” Cherry choked out nervously. “If she turns out to be your teacher, let’s try to behave… okay?”
“Will do,” Jeremy beamed, giving her a thumbs-up. “Can we go home and find me a new backpack now?”
“Yeah, I’m pretty much done ‘people-ing’ today already.”
That evening, Cherry got out Evan’s laptop gingerly. The thought that she might break it was always in the forefront of her mind. Opening the screen, she couldn’t help but smile at the photo of Jeremy and Evan that was set as wallpaper. She didn’t want to peek around or snoop, but the temptation was there, and she lasted all of six days before she looked at the history on his computer.
She expected to see all sorts of ‘illicit’ items on there, but he was always looking up things to do that were age-appropriate for Jeremy. One link was how to be a good father, and another was related to whether he left the Navy. She did see that he once had a dating app but it had been shut off over six months ago and asked her if she was ready to ‘renew’ her account, offering to send her a coupon. Nope. She was done snooping because if it sent Evan a coupon, she would die of embarrassment.
“Can we email my daddy?” Jeremy asked excitedly, racing around the corner in his pajamas. “Did he write me yet? Did he? Did he? I marked off today on the calendar. Did I get an email?”
“I’m opening the email right now,” she chuckled, and her eyes widened as she saw five emails from a Navy.Mil.com address – only to see a finger come flying past her face, pointing at the screen.
“There it is! See? There! Right there, Cherry! I can’t read yet but those four letters are what is on his T-shirts and shorts.”
“I see that,” she interrupted his excited stance to pull his hand away. “Don’t break your daddy’s laptop. Here, come sit beside me, and let’s read this together.”
“What’s the first one say?”
“Well, let’s see, it says, ‘ Hey Jeremy, I really miss you, buddy, and I hope you are being good for Cherry. We just pulled out of port and it’s going to be a long few weeks before I can call you. I will try to write you every night. Brush your teeth and use the floss – please. Love, Daddy’ …” she finished and felt a slight disappointment that this was only addressed to Jeremy.
“What’s the next one say?” Jeremy pressed excitedly, pointing at the list of emails. “Read that one there.”
“Dear Cherry…” she began and hesitated, closing the screen. “This one is for me.”
“Go ahead and read it.”
“No, it’s private. Let’s look at another one.”
They continued for several moments and composed an email to send back to Evan. Jeremy kept going on and on, telling his father about everything from brushing his teeth to the incident at the exchange earlier in the day and included a comment about her hair.
“Daddy, you should see Cherry’s hair, too! It’s really short like mine, and I like it. It was fluffy earlier, but now it’s spiky-looking and…” Jeremy was dictating, and she interrupted.
“My hair is not spiky.”
“It’s not fluffy anymore.”
“Because I washed it to get the bits of hair off my neck. It was itching – besides, it won’t matter to your dad. Let’s wrap this email up and get you tucked in. It’s getting late.”
“Awwwww Cherry…” he drawled emphatically in frustration. “I’m not tired.”
“You’ve been yawning repeatedly for the last half hour,” she chuckled, hugging him. “Let’s get you ready for bed, and we’ll both go watch a little bit of television until you go to sleep.”
“Sweet!” he yelped, bounding out of the room. Her emails from Evan would have to wait a little bit before she could reply. It only took about ten minutes for the little boy to fall asleep, and she slipped back into the dining room where the laptop waited.
Opening it, she clicked on the email and began to read.
Dear Cherry,
I’m really grateful that you’ve taken my son under your wing, and this is strange for me. My thoughts are a jumble because I want to keep things polite and easy between us, but I keep thinking of when we kissed. Kissing does not lead to friendship, but getting to know each other better does. So maybe this deployment is both a blessing and a curse. I hated leaving Jeremy behind, but I’m glad it’s forcing a separation between us because this is intense, or it is for me.
I promised to get Jeremy something in each port – and I would like to do the same for you. What makes you happy? Do you like perfume, jewelry, sculptures? I don’t even know if your ears are pierced or not. What size ring do you wear? Maybe I will look around for something special since I didn’t have a chance to put a ring on your finger before I left.
Tell me how you are holding up, and don’t hold back either. If you minimize it, my mind will fill in the blanks with the worst thing possible. Full confession from your husband: I might be a worry-wart – and I’m smiling as I type this for so many reasons.
Take care and write soon,
Evan
Clicking on the other email, she sighed in delight.
Cherry,
It’s seven in the morning, and I just got off of duty rotation. I’m about to go crash in my bunk and sleep for a while – but I wanted to write to you. I hope I dream of that kiss and your smile.
Evan
Cherry wasn’t sure how long she sat there, thinking about what to say to him. She didn’t want to be the ‘downer’ for this man if he needed to keep morale up. He had been gone a week now, and there were twenty-five weeks left to go. Who married a stranger, anyhow?
This was a desperate move made by an equally desperate man, and she was a pathetic woman. She had effectively let this man corner her, tying her down to staying here in Mayport and becoming a stepmother in one fell swoop because he was gorgeous. It was so strange, so crazy to think that there could be something actually brewing between them because it wasn’t possible— was it?
She put her face in her hands at the realization and thoughts swirling in her brain. This wasn’t ‘forever,’ and it wouldn’t be ‘permanent’ once he got home – and she knew it. He was going to come back from deployment and might be polite for a day or two, but things would be over for both of them. He wouldn’t need her anymore, and if she was smart – she would be prepping for that day, for that moment. Allowing her heart to get involved would be a recipe for disaster, no matter how tempting it was.
Carefully, she began to reply.
Dear Evan,
Things are going well for Jeremy here. I’ll admit the first day was full of tears, but he is doing so much better. We do something together every day to mark the passage of time, and at the end of each day, he puts an ‘X’ over each day on the calendar. I wanted to make a big deal of the time passing so he knows it is doable and there’s an end in sight for him. We have Autobot stickers to use in case you call or to signify something out of the ordinary happening. He’s really looking forward to using one of those… ha ha ha.
Jeremy and I have really meshed well together – and I think I’m picking up on this whole ‘mom’ thing. I never imagined myself as a stepmother, and I think I told you that, but he’s a sweetheart. I corralled him into getting his hair cut for the first day of school, we picked out a few shirts for him and ordered a backpack online; oh, and he met one of the teachers today while we were at the exchange. I’m hoping the first day of school is a good one for him. It will help the time pass in his mind.
Things are quiet – and strange, at least for me. Focus on sending Jeremy something because I’m not sure what this is yet between us. Are we friends? Are we more? Am I a glorified babysitter?
I’m the type of person who needs to store each little thing in a place in my mind, and I’m not quite sure where to put this/us. I’m just being honest and not trying to be negative, but I think we both know that friendships or relationships aren’t built on a kiss or an attraction, as much as it pains me to write these words.
The realist in me says that if I put too much into this, I’m going to end up with my guts on the floor – utterly destroyed. I’m strong enough to make it through everything, a fighter, and I never stop trying, but I also know when to get out of the water to protect myself. Please don’t take any of this badly. I really would love for us to develop a rapport and a bond, but I don’t know if that can happen long distance or what that would look like. Maybe this is because I’m trying to squish things into a little mold so it looks normal and just like everything else, but it will never fit in.
And even now, as I type this, I wish I could see your face or your reaction because I’m nervous. I’m not leaving, so please don’t worry about Jeremy. I adore him and will protect him with everything in me. Maybe I’m rambling because I’m tired, and it’s getting late here.
Try to stay busy, and time will pass. Before you know it, you’ll be home, and we can figure out where the puzzle pieces lay…
Yours truly,
Cherry
Clicking send, she sighed and felt a waver of unease within her. He had been so sweet, yet here she was, digging in her heels and waving her hands in front of her, obviously afraid. If she wanted a relationship, it would come by being forthright and honest, both the good and the bad, and she had only served up the ‘bad’ by pointing a finger at the wall in her mind.
Opening another email, she began to type again.
Evan,
That kiss between us was incredible, and I haven’t stopped thinking about it yet. I may not know what this is, what to do about it, or where I fit in, but yeah, you are right. It was amazing, and I hope I dream about it again. I thought you should know that as well as the garbage from my other email. See? You married a worrywart, too.
Take care,
Cherry
“I am such a dork,” she muttered, shutting the laptop and getting up from her seat. Now that she’d put herself out there, she was going to lie down and try to get some rest. Walking into the bedroom, she saw the bed and thinking about that kiss, she couldn’t help but remember his words as she glanced at the headboard with awareness. Lying down, she closed her eyes to shut out the thoughts and imaginings running rampant in her mind as she whispered aloud to the stillness of the night.
“Biggest dork in the world…”