Chapter 9
9
CHERRY
Getting up the next morning, Cherry sat straight up in bed groggily at hearing a knock at the front door. She could hear Jeremy racing down the hallway, his feet slapping on the tile floor as he shouted, ‘I’ve got it’ like a relay racer passing the baton.
“Hang on, Jeremy,” she yelped, getting up quickly. “That could be anyone. Don’t open… the door,” she finished weakly, sagging, as she came out of the bedroom and saw him standing there holding a large Amazon box. His smile was huge, and the excitement on his face was palpable.
“We got a package.”
“I see that. Please don’t open the door to strangers.”
“It wasn’t a stranger. It was Amazon.”
“Amazon employs drivers who are strangers to you.”
“But we ordered stuff, remember?”
“We did, but it’s not supposed to be here until Tuesday.”
“Oh,” Jeremy said curiously and held up the box again for her. “But it’s here now, so maybe it meant yesterday’s today?”
“What does that even mean?” she laughed at the wistful and hopeful expression on his face. “You can’t order something yesterday and have it show up today when it’s supposed to be delivered next week. It doesn’t work like that.”
“Then it’s from my daddy,” Jeremy announced with certainty and excitement, causing her to sigh in defeat. She sincerely doubted that because— and paused mid-thought, looking at the box with a fresh perspective. If they had internet on the ship to send emails, maybe Evan did send Jeremy something ordered from Amazon.
“We’re gonna open it, right?”
“We should open it,” Cherry agreed immediately. “Let me start my coffee and grab the scissors.”
Jeremy toted the box to the living room, plopping onto the floor in front of the television. Cherry joined him a few moments later as the coffee pot hissed in the distance. She carefully drew the blade of the scissors down the top of the box – and the sides. Jeremy reached for it immediately, yanking open a flap with excitement, and paused. He looked at her strangely, causing Cherry to chuckle as she plucked out a blue gift bag and the receipt on top.
A little something for Jeremy… and for you.
Evan
“There are two things in the box. One for me and one for you,” she explained and handed him the bag, not knowing which gift was for each person. The other package was obviously a stuffed animal or a blanket because it was vacuum-sealed down to a shape that was unrecognizable. Jeremy opened the bag, hesitated, and looked at her with teary eyes.
“What is it?”
“I told my daddy that I wanted dog tags like him some day,” Jeremy whispered and turned it around. There, on the front, was a man and a boy etched on the tag hanging from the bead chain. She turned it over and smiled at him, her own eyes stinging. This was extremely sweet of Evan, and she knew Jeremy would cry.
“It says on the other side, ‘ To my son, I love you more than you know, and I’m so proud to have you in my life. Love, Dad’ …”
Cherry had barely finished reading it to him when Jeremy yanked the necklace from her hand, pulled it over his head, and threw himself at her. He hugged her tightly, crying his heart out. It obviously meant the world to him. His father was his idol. This was a way for Evan to say he loved his son and was thinking about him, something Jeremy could always keep with him.
Jeremy pulled away slightly and wiped his nose across his hand, causing Cherry to flinch slightly. She either needed to get over that or teach him to use a tissue and was leaning toward the latter.
“What’s in the other package?” he asked, wiping his eyes.
“Tissues for those boogery hands?” she retorted, grabbing his hand pointedly and making him laugh. “Seriously, do not drag your nose across your palm again because I’m ready to yuck up my dinner, and I’d prefer to eat breakfast instead. It’s cute when you are a baby or a toddler, but you are six, and that is when it crosses into ‘gross’…”
Jeremy laughed wildly, trying to wipe his hand playfully on her, and she wrestled him around before managing to push him gently toward the bathroom door.
“Wash your mitts, buster, so we can eat breakfast,” she hollered and knelt beside the box, pulling out the plastic. Cutting carefully down the side, she heard an audible ‘swish’ as the item that had been vacuum-sealed started to expand as she pulled it free. It was a pillow, she realized, turning it over and hesitating. There, in fancy script located on the other side of the pillow, was something so sweet and unexpected.
I wish I was there to hug you – so hug this instead and think of me.
“Daddy sent you a pillow? Weird,” Jeremy chuckled, shaking his head and walking toward the kitchen. His voice carried as he walked away, obviously deeming the pillow unworthy of his attention because he was fascinated with his own dog tags from Evan. She was really glad that he didn’t care or want the pillow because she wasn’t sure how to give up something so sweet. “Can we have pancakes for breakfast, Cherry? Or maybe some toast with peanut butter?”
“I’ll be right there,” she said quietly, taking the pillow immediately to her room – and paused beside the single bathroom in the house. She looked sideways, walked in, and opened up the cabinet causing the bottle of Tylenol to nearly fall into the sink again; but this time, she caught it and spotted the object of her attention.
A single bottle of cologne.
She had smelled it faintly on him, had picked up notes of something on his pillow or on his coat hanging in the closet, but now she wanted more. Lifting the cap, she breathed deeply of the clean, crisp scent that had been only an echo of this – and exhaled in awareness. Yep, that was the aroma that gave her soul a shiver of delight. She sprayed it on the pillow, capped the bottle, and closed the mirrored door carefully with the Tylenol in place. As she walked into her room, she buried her face into the pillow, hugging it tightly and offering up a prayer straight from her soul, muffled against the material to silence what she was afraid to say aloud.
“Please don’t break my heart…”
Evan,
We received the package from Amazon today and Jeremy was over the moon at getting a pair of dog tags like yours. He cried, smiled, wiped his nose, and then we had a lesson about snot, tissues, and etiquette. You didn’t miss that, let me reassure you.
I also got the pillow you sent me – and I just need to know if you really are meaning all of this? I might have been reading it wrong. It just seemed awfully ‘familiar,’ and we’ve only shared a few kisses. Maybe I’m just overthinking things – and I tend to do that, just FYI.
How is it aboard the carrier? Are you getting some rest? Is there anything you need? We mailed you a card today, and Jeremy decorated it, so you’ll have to mention it in an email when you get it. He’s so pumped and said you would be surprised.
Take care,
Cherry
Several days later, Cherry was driving Jeremy to school for the first day, and she was pretty sure her jitters were ten times worse than his. Not only was it his first day, but it was technically hers as well. That was it. She had ‘new mom’ jitters.
She had never fought against traffic like this nor waited in line with a bunch of hostile, emotional mamas who were giving her angry looks when she got out of her car. Wasn’t she supposed to coddle him, walk him to the classroom, or wipe away his tears if he got upset – because that was what she read in books or saw on television. Walking to the passenger side door, she opened it, and he climbed out, looking past her distractedly.
“Hey, want me to walk you to your classroom so you can meet Mrs. Lane?”
“Nahh, I’m good.”
“I can, though.”
“It’s okay, Cherry. Hey, that kid has a Decepticon backpack. Weirdo. Doesn’t he know those are the bad dudes?”
“Jeremy? Hey, pay attention for two seconds, okay? I’m going to be here at three o’clock, and I want you to wait at the flagpole until I pull up. Do not try walking home or riding a bus. I will pick you up. Got me?”
“Uh huh…”
“Jeremy,” she said, snapping at him with her fingers because he was obviously distracted by all the chaos going on around him. “Jeremy, look at me,” and he turned to look at her. “I will pick you up at three, so you stay here and wait for me. I wanna hear you say the words – ‘ I’ll wait for you at the flagpole, Cherry ’…”
“Okay. I’ll wait at the flagpole, Cherry.”
“Be good and have a great day. Be strong, sweetie. You’ll have so much fun, I promise. School is something all kids go through and…” she could feel herself getting emotional.
Evan was missing this, and Jeremy would only enter first grade once in his life. This was a milestone, a marker that her new stepson was growing up. It was first grade now, and when she blinked, it would be him crossing the stage at his high school graduation.
And she sucked in her breath at the thought, her chin trembling as everything got blurry before her. Time would pass, and Evan was missing all of this, yet she was here before this awesome kid who didn’t understand just how fast time could pass by.
“Cherry, it’s just school,” he said curiously, angling his head. “Are you about to cry?”
“No. Of course not. The pollen is bothering me, and I need a cup of coffee. Nobody cries on the first day of school and…” her voice faded as Jeremy threw his arms around her, hugging her tightly.
“See you at three, by the flagpole,” he promised with a wisdom far past his young age. “Now, blow your nose, and don’t use your hand.”
“Oh geez,” she chuckled, rising to her feet and looking at him as he ran off to join the other children. A teacher or the principal walked toward her, smiling.
“First one this year?” the woman asked kindly, laying a calming hand on her shoulder.
“First one ever .”
“He’ll be all right, Mama. We’ll take good care of your son,” the woman promised.
Mama?
Oh gosh…
Cherry felt herself breaking down as a sob escaped her. She was an utter emotional mess right now. Is this what other mothers felt like on the first day of school?
She never imagined being a mom, or any of this, yet, here she was putting on another woman’s pair of shoes because she didn’t want them. She was playing the role of mother and father to a spectacular kid who would someday realize just how messed up all of this was or scream at her, ‘ You’re not my mother! ’ – but for now – in this moment, she was.
She was his mama.
Nodding, she held up a hand to say ‘thanks’ or ‘bye’ – not caring which, and made a run for her car door to hide. Starting the car, she pulled out of the ‘U’ in front of the school much quicker than she pulled in. Her mind was racing as she hurried down Mayport Road toward the base, completely unsure what was wrong or what she was going to do for the rest of the day.
And Cherry was a thousand percent sure that she was about to have a very ugly cry for no actual reason except that it was Monday, the first day of school, she was in over her head, married to a stranger who was gone, and now was the stepmother to a beautiful boy who deserved better.
Commencing breakdown in three… two… one…
Yanking the car onto the side of the road, she let out a wail worthy of any Oscar-winning dramatic movie. Hot, fat tears ran down her face that she quickly buried in her hands as she just sat there bawling her eyes out. There was nothing wrong; Jeremy was safe, and she had more in her own life than ever before – so why was she falling apart?
Only to hear her cell phone ring.
Yanking it out of her pocket, she nearly threw up in her lap. The school’s phone number was on the caller ID, and she slid her thumb across the bottom of the screen in a panic.
“Hello? Hello?”
“Hey Cherry…” and her heart stopped.
“Oh gosh, Jeremy – what’s wrong? Are you sick? Did you forget your lunch? Did you pee your pants? Are you scared? Did something happen?” she rushed out and heard his nervous laugh.
“I told my teacher that you were upset and that I needed to check on you,” Jeremy said simply in a matter-of-fact voice before adding on. “Sheesh, Cherry. Why would you ask me that ?” he whispered the last word, making her chuckle as she knew he was referring to peeing in his pants, utterly embarrassed.
“Because moms can be silly – and you got stuck with the weirdest one of them all,” she whispered tearfully. “I’m fine, and I can’t wait to hear all the details about how your day went.”
“Okay. I love you, Cherry.”
“I love you too,” she whispered, realizing it was true. In such a short amount of time, this sweet boy had her completely wrapped around his little finger and wound his way into her heart. He might not be her child physically, but he was hers no matter what the future brought. If things didn’t work out with Evan, she would find a way to simply exist around him because she adored Jeremy and would always be there for him. “Have a great day, sweetie – and no more of this weird ‘mom-stuff,’ I promise.”
As the call ended, she sat there completely overwhelmed mentally, emotionally, and physically felt drained. She was blown away to realize that the ‘Mom shoes’ that had been thrust onto her by Evan actually fit and felt good.
She was a mom.
Jeremy’s mom.
Dear Evan,
Do you ever have one of those moments that just blindsides you – in a good way?
Today was Jeremy’s first day of school, and everything in me fell apart before it finally clicked in my head, heart, and soul. I cried more than he did, and he’s such a good kid. He called to check on me because he knew I was upset – and it hit me right between the eyes that THIS IS MY KID.
I have an awesome, incredible child under my wing because of you. Because you plucked me – stupid, na?ve, unqualified to be an adult at twenty-seven – you picked me to be his mom while you were gone because you saw something in me.
Today I saw it too.
Jeremy’s our son.
Not just yours but mine too. I didn’t give birth to him, nor did I raise him to be as amazing as he is already, but that boy is my child until I depart from this earth, so let’s figure out what we look like.
It’s not the kisses or the attraction, but let’s ‘meet’ each other and give this a chance. Something had to click right in this universe to put me in this position where I feel like I finally belong. Does that make sense?
Hi. I’m Cerise ‘Cherry’ Jolie Buchannan. My first name is actually French, but no one can ever pronounce it, so I go by ‘Cherry’ to everyone in the world… but I thought you should know.
I wear a size 7 ring.
My birthday is September 10th.
I’m incredibly insecure about my self-worth and my self-image. I had a horrible childhood growing up and don’t wish that on anyone. It took me a long time to put it behind me, so it’s not something I discuss easily. I will tell you, if you want to know, but prefer it be face-to-face.
I’m addicted to Pinterest apparently, because Jeremy and I found so many cool projects for us to make together for the house. We’re actually going to be using pool noodles to make evil candelabras to put in the yard for Halloween. I’ll send you a photo.
My favorite things: Raspberry Zingers in the fridge because the cream filling and coconut flakes should be cold, cozy lap blankets, keeping busy and making things, maintaining a house now that I have one, your son, and kissing you.
I’m scared, and I want to figure this out because I like where I am in my life for the first time ever. Please don’t break my heart or shatter this illusion in my head. Be gentle because I’m letting the walls down and holding out my hand so that we can be there together for Jeremy.
Yours,
Cherry