Chapter 9 Nora
NORA
Nora climbed into bed to read to the children that evening, feeling tired but content after a day well spent.
After watching the birds for a long time, they had all gone for a walk around the farm, and the kids looked on while Nora helped River get the horses back to the barn and settled for the night.
She smiled at the memory of the children wishing the horses sweet dreams before heading back.
The sun set in the late afternoon, and the farmhouse looked so cozy with the porch light glowing when they came home for an early supper.
Nora knew that too much television was bad for the children, but most days they negotiated for an extra half an hour, and she often relented. They were in their pajamas and brushing their teeth when she realized they hadn’t had any screen time at all since they’d arrived on the farm.
It’s good for them to be here, it’s good for all of us… I’m so glad I decided to say yes.
It reminded her of an inspirational quote from one of last week’s calendar pages:
“Nothing can bring you peace but yourself.”
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
She knew she needed to talk with the kids about River’s offer for them to stay for the holidays, but she wasn’t sure where to begin. One thing she knew for certain was that they wouldn’t stay unless both kids wanted it.
“It’s nice here,” John-John said suddenly.
“I love the horses,” Pixie said, nodding.
“And River’s nice,” John-John said. “He doesn’t mind if we make a mess.”
Nora smiled. They definitely had made their share of messes today. From the egg incident, to trying to get bird seed out of the seam in the kitchen table to wiping up sloshed soup from the floor, she could attest to how messy an average day was with children.
And John-John was right—River never seemed thrown by any of it.
He’s so different from his brother…
But nothing good would come from thoughts like that. She knew she shouldn’t be comparing the men. She shouldn’t even be thinking of staying here any longer after that moment earlier in the kitchen.
This isn’t about me, or even about River, she reminded herself. It’s about the kids.
“River asked me something today,” she said carefully. “And we’ll want to decide together what the answer is.”
“You should marry him,” Pixie said firmly. “Definitely say yes.”
“Oh, no,” Nora said, horrified. “No, it wasn’t that.”
“Oh,” Pixie said, shrugging. “Too bad.”
Nora blinked at her for a moment in complete shock, trying her best to rally.
“It was about the holidays,” she went on bravely. “He said he was enjoying our visit very much, and he wondered if the three of us might like to stay for the holidays.”
“Like not go home?” Pixie asked.
“Well, we would go home,” Nora said. “But not until after Christmas.”
Nora was pretty sure they would just want to go home tomorrow night. She hadn’t really packed much as far as toys and books, since they were only planning to be here for the weekend, so they were probably already starting to get a little bored.
And if they stayed, she would have to buy their Christmas presents in the village instead of the city.
Though maybe it will be easier if River watches them for a few minutes while I sneak into a shop or two…
She had been wondering how in the world she could surprise the children when she spent every waking moment with John-John. She’d never even thought about leaving them with someone else before. But for some reason, the idea of leaving them with River didn’t bother her.
“Can we keep feeding the birds?” John-John asked after a moment.
“Yes,” Nora told him. “As a matter of fact, River was thinking it might be fun to do more of the things from your book.”
“Like cut down a tree?” Pixie asked excitedly.
“Yes,” Nora said with a smile. “We might be able to go and cut a fresh Christmas tree for River’s house.”
“And decorate it?” John-John asked. “And make cookies?”
“Sure,” Nora told him. “All those things. I know we didn’t bring many toys. But there should be plenty to keep us busy. And we can always visit the library and check out some more books.”
“We’ll do all the stuff in those too,” John-John decided. “I like making bird feeders.”
“That was really fun, wasn’t it?” Nora said with a smile.
“You really learned that in preschool, Pixie?” John-John asked.
“Yes,” Pixie said. “We learned how to do all kinds of stuff.”
“When can I go to preschool?” he asked.
Nora’s heart skipped a beat.
“Would you like to go to preschool?” she asked him carefully.
“Yes,” he said. “I want to go to school. I’m big enough now.”
“I think you would really like preschool,” Nora agreed. “There are lots of fun things to do, and children to play with.”
“I went when I was even littler than you, John-John,” Pixie said.
“But I wasn’t ready yet,” John-John said, snuggling contentedly into Nora’s side. He smelled good, like the shampoo with the light apple scent from the farmhouse bathroom.
“That’s right,” Nora said. “We decided you could go when you felt ready.”
“I’m ready now, Aunt Nora,” he said, patting her arm. “I’m gonna learn to make all kinds of stuff.”
“That sounds very nice,” she told him.
“Let’s read our book now,” he said, patting the book, as if to tell her there was nothing more to be said about whether or not he was ready for preschool.
So she read to them about Farmer Bear and his family, happy to lose herself in the lovely story and the warm cuddles from her favorite two kids in the whole world.
By the time she was finished, John-John was nodding off as usual. Pixie looked pretty sleepy tonight too. The country air was good for her.
“That’s good, isn’t it, Aunt Nora?” Pixie whispered to her as she slipped out from between them.
“What’s good?” Nora asked her.
“It’s good that John-John wants to go to preschool,” Pixie said. “But it won’t be my old one, because it’s near the old house.”
“Yes, it will be a different one,” Nora said.
“But it will be nice, right?” Pixie asked.
There was a familiar note of worry in her voice, and Nora suddenly realized that she hadn’t heard that tone since they had gotten to River’s house. Maybe this place was good for her for more than just the fresh air.
“I’ll make sure of it,” Nora told her. “We would never let John-John go to a preschool that isn’t nice.”
Pixie nodded and snuggled into her pillow. Nora waited a moment, in case there were other worries, but Pixie seemed content.
Nora left, closing the door behind her. But instead of heading back downstairs, she just stood in the hallway for a moment, trying to sort through her emotions.
On the one hand, she was beyond thrilled that John-John was feeling ready for preschool.
There had been times over the last few months when Nora was convinced they would still be attached at the hip when he was a little old man.
She knew it meant only good things that he was feeling ready to spread his little wings.
And she also felt a little sad at the idea of him going off to school every day.
Though it did mean she could go back to working at least part-time.
I wonder if Tony already found another tech…
It was probably for the best if he had. She couldn’t start working before the holidays anyway. Plus, it would take time to get John-John enrolled.
Her feet carried her down to the kitchen again without her thinking about it.
“Hey,” River said softly as he took the kettle off the stove. “Did they go down okay?”
“Yes,” she told him.
“Tea?” he asked.
“Yes, please,” she said, taking a seat at the table.
It was odd how much this already felt like an old habit, chatting together after the kids were in bed. It was hard to believe that they had only gotten here yesterday.
“John-John was already asleep by the time we finished their story,” she told him. “Pixie will be down in no time. They had so much fun today, and all the fresh air and exercise helps too.”
“He always falls asleep during the story, huh?” River asked, coming over and setting a steaming mug of peppermint tea in front of Nora, then sitting down across from her with his own mug.
“Usually,” she said, smiling. “When it’s a story he’s heard before. He said something before we read though, and I just… I can’t believe it.”
“What did he say?” River asked, frowning.
“Well, he should have started preschool this year,” Nora explained. “But he really didn’t want to go, so I didn’t make him.”
“After losing his mom, he shouldn’t have to make another big transition until he’s ready,” River said, nodding.
“That’s exactly what I felt, and the pediatrician said it was the right call,” Nora said, nodding.
“That’s good,” River said.
“Well, tonight he said he wants to go,” Nora said. “He says he’s ready.”
“Wow,” River said. “It was the bird feeders, wasn’t it? They were super cool. That would probably make me want to go too.”
“It was the bird feeders,” Nora chuckled. “But I think it was more than that, too.”
“I’m glad he’s ready,” River said. “Are you ready?”
“I know it’s for the best,” she said. “But I’m a little sad. How did you guess?”
“I can see how close he is with you,” River said. “You’re going to miss your little shadow.”
“If I can even get him into a good preschool in the middle of the year,” Nora said, nodding. “It’s tough in the city. But I can only worry about one thing at a time, I guess.”
“If it’s too much to think about staying out here when you’re working on that, I completely understand,” River said. “I know you’re probably pulled in a hundred directions at once.”
“Actually, I was thinking that it might be really good to stay,” she told him.
“Being here seems to have both of them feeling better. John-John says he’s ready for preschool.
And Pixie… well, she worries about her brother.
And I haven’t really seen her get worried since we got here.
Maybe more time here would be good for both of them—if it’s still okay with you? ”
“I love having you here,” River said simply, placing his hand over hers.
His deep voice was gentle and his dark eyes seemed to penetrate her heart. She felt a wave of something good washing over her. It was so nice to be around someone who really saw her and cared what happened to the kids.
“River,” she whispered.
His hand squeezed hers in response.
But it wasn’t right to feel this way—she knew it wasn’t. She pulled her hand back slowly, breaking their gaze.
“Hey, do you want a snack?” he asked, pulling his chair out. “I was thinking about popping some popcorn.”
When he turned back to her, there was no resentment in his eyes. And his handsome face was as calm as always, except for the tiniest tension in his jaw.
“Yes,” she realized out loud. “I do want some popcorn.”
“Great,” he told her. “I was thinking we might go over to Cassidy Farm with the kids tomorrow to cut a tree. What do you think?”
They passed the rest of the evening making plans for the kids, and Nora was more sure than ever that she was making the right decision by staying.
She just couldn’t let herself be distracted, no matter how warm River’s hands were, or how much he smelled like spice and woodsmoke, no matter how his smile made her stomach feel.