Chapter 10 River
RIVER
The next morning, River walked up the path toward the house with the scent of snow in the air.
He was pretty sure the horses could taste it too. They had been more playful than usual this morning as he led them out to the field to enjoy their day.
When the farmhouse came into sight, he found himself smiling. The lights were on inside, creating a cozy glow and telling him that Nora and the kids were awake.
They’re already getting used to farm life, he thought to himself with satisfaction.
He always made a point to turn in early so that he could be up before the sun with the horses. When he was tending to the fields in the spring, he would be glad that his schedule allowed him the advantage of every moment of daylight.
Kicking the snow and mud off his boots on the back porch, he heard the faint sound of the radio playing “Frosty the Snowman” in the kitchen, and Pixie’s delighted laughter.
He pictured them as they had been yesterday, watching the birds visit their homemade feeders, and he wondered how excited they would be to visit the Christmas trees on Cassidy Farm today.
Today was the day of the big Hometown Holiday celebration in town.
He’d thought about taking them into the village for the Christmas activities.
But decided it was probably a better idea to just stick to their plan of recreating the Bears’ traditions from the book.
The big celebration might be overwhelming, and there was nowhere else to cut your own Christmas tree.
He thought that maybe a selfish part of him just wanted to keep the three of them all to himself. But was that really such a bad thing? They had been having such a good time together so far.
“Good morning,” John-John shouted, a huge smile on his cute little face as River stepped inside.
“Good morning,” River said, smiling back.
“I hope you don’t mind that we helped ourselves to your kitchen supplies,” Nora said. “We thought we might surprise you with pancakes.”
There was a tiny furrow in Pixie’s brow, like she was worried he would be upset over a little missing flour or baking powder.
“This is the best surprise ever,” River told her right away. “Taking care of the horses always makes me hungry.”
The worried look left Pixie’s face, replaced by a smile big enough to match her brother’s, and River couldn’t help grinning back at her.
He’d been smiling a lot lately, and he honestly couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt this happy.
“How can I help?” he asked.
“Just grab a cup of coffee and have a seat,” Nora told him. “It’s your turn to relax.”
“That sounds nice,” he said. “I’ll just wash up first.”
He headed up to his room and quickly rinsed off and dressed. By the time he was downstairs again, the pancake batter was done and Nora was pouring the first of it onto the pan, with Pixie by her side, paying close attention.
John-John was at the table already, industriously peeling an orange over a plate, with another orange waiting on the table. River poured himself a mug of coffee and headed over to join the little boy.
“Fruit is good at breakfast time,” John-John said conversationally.
“It sure is,” River told him.
“Don’t worry,” John-John said. “I’m gonna share these with everyone.”
“That’s nice,” River told him. “Oranges are delicious. Sometimes I put them in my hot apple cider.”
“Hot apple cider?” John-John echoed.
“You’ve never had hot apple cider?” River asked him.
John-John shook his head.
“Well,” River said. “We’ll get some today at Cassidy Farm.”
“That’s a different farm,” John-John said.
“Yes,” River said.
“What’s the name of this farm?” John-John asked.
“It… doesn’t really have one,” River admitted.
“It’s yours,” Nora remarked. “Doesn’t that mean you can name it whatever you want?”
“I guess I can,” River realized. “Do you guys have any ideas?”
“Pancake Farm,” John-John said and then laughed so hard he almost slid under the table.
“That’s a funny name,” River said, when his tablemate had recovered himself. “But then people might be disappointed if I don’t have a pancake tree.”
“A pancake tree?” John-John panted, melting into more laughter. “A pancake tree?”
“Somebody’s in a good mood,” Nora said fondly.
“What kind of farm is it?” Pixie asked.
“I’ll be growing corn and soybeans,” River told her.
“Farm on the Cob,” Nora offered suddenly, then giggled.
River watched her cheeks turn pink, wondering if he had ever seen anything so endearing. Nora had been so serious ever since he got home. It was good to see her laughing and being silly.
“We’ll think of something good,” Pixie told River seriously. “Don’t worry.”
“When you do, I’m going to paint it on a nice wooden sign,” he told her.
That earned him a dimpled grin from the little pancake maker.
“I think it’s ready to flip,” Nora said, her eyes on the pan, where the golden circle of batter was now covered in tiny bubbles.
“Do you want to try?” she asked Pixie.
But Pixie shook her head.
“Okay then,” Nora said. “Hang onto your hats.”
“Hang onto your hats,” John-John echoed, putting his hands atop his hatless head and chuckling.
Nora flipped the pancake perfectly, and the kids burst into spontaneous cheers.
As Nora took a pretend bow, the back door swung open, and a small, trim figure carrying a big bag appeared in the doorway.
Mom…
River’s heart fell to his stomach.
“Oh,” she said, looking around in surprise.
I’m an adult, he reminded himself as his stomach twisted at the idea of making her unhappy. I’m in my own home.
Nora turned, and her mouth dropped open a bit before she plastered on a friendly smile. River saw the exact moment when his mother realized who it was making pancakes in his kitchen.
“Nora,” Mom said, sounding about as surprised as she looked. “Hello. Hi, kids. River.”
She nodded to everyone, and Nora’s shoulders lowered a little, as if in relief. But River could tell by his mother’s too-bright smile that she was very unhappy.
“Is that for me?” he asked, jumping up to take the big bag from his mom.
“It’s just some eggs,” Mom said. “You know your father can’t resist a bargain.”
She set the bag on the table and River lifted out three flats of eighteen eggs each.
“Whoa,” Pixie murmured.
“It’s exactly how many we need,” River announced. “We’ll have omelets for dinner.”
Nora smiled.
“What’s omelets?” John-John asked.
“It has a lot of eggs in it,” Pixie guessed.
“It sure does,” River said. “Sit, Mom. Let me bring you a cup of coffee.”
“We’re making pancakes,” Nora said hopefully. “Should we give River’s mom the first plate, Pixie?”
“Yes,” Pixie said right away.
“No, no,” Mom said at the same time. “I’ve got to run. This was just a stop on my way.”
River knew that wasn’t true. Mom loved to come by and have just one cup of coffee that almost always turned into two and a snack. And he enjoyed the chance to have the time with her. When he was little, Edward had always been more talkative. And more recently, River had been away for a few years.
But Mom wasn’t staying this time. She was already heading back to the door.
“I’ll walk you out,” he said, jogging over to her before she could respond.
He opened the back door for her, then followed her out onto the porch. He could tell by the pinched set of her lips that she was making an effort to keep her mouth shut.
“Brought you that,” she said, indicating a sack of bird seed on the back porch. “That’s why I came in the back door. Michael said you were building a bird feeder.”
Michael worked at the hardware store, and River had told the man what he was up to when he bought those supplies yesterday.
“That was really nice of you, Mom,” River said.
She nodded crisply, but didn’t say anything more.
He managed to wait until they made it around the side of the house and he was certain Nora and the kids couldn’t hear them before he said anything more.
“It’s fine, Ma,” he said, when they reached her car. “I mean, it was a little weird at first. But the kids are having such a great time out here. It’s good to get them out of the city.”
She sighed and then turned to face him. He would never get used to her having to look up to make eye contact with him. In his mind, she was still the grown-up, and he would always be the kid. But even though he towered over her now, that gaze was as fierce as ever.
“You’re not taking them to the Hometown Holiday celebration, are you?” she asked.
“No,” he said, though the question stung. It was clear that his mom didn’t want him appearing publicly with Nora and the kids at the popular local Christmas fair. “We’re going to get a Christmas tree at Cassidy Farm today.”
Is this why I decided not to bring them into town today? Was I afraid of what people might think?
“And you know your brother is coming home for Christmas,” she said, not even acknowledging his answer.
River had no idea how to answer her non-question. Honestly, he’d been trying not to think about the fact that Edward would be home, since he was asking Nora to stay anyway.
He shrugged.
Mom nodded slowly, her lips pressed together, before folding her canvas shopping bag and getting into the car.
River jogged back up onto the front porch, but stayed at the railing, only to watch her back the car up and then drive off without so much as a wave.
He tried hard not to let it get to him, but it hadn’t been a lot of fun growing up in Edward’s shadow, and this was bringing back some unpleasant memories.
And to make matters worse, he really was feeling things for Nora and the kids that had his heart pounding in his chest—things he would have liked to talk to his parents about.
But as usual, all they cared about was how the golden child would feel about it—as if Edward might somehow be mad at them when he found out that his little brother was building a friendship with the woman he had abandoned.
River felt a tiny twinge of guilt, in spite of himself, and then a flash of resentment.
Who cares about Edward’s feelings? He’s being a selfish jerk. Taking care of Nora and the kids is the right thing to do.
He headed back inside to Nora and the children, even more determined than before to make this the best Christmas ever for them.