Chapter 20 Nora
NORA
Nora stood frozen in the hallway just off the kitchen, feeling her heart break into tiny pieces at the sound of River’s words.
She hadn’t meant to eavesdrop—she was only coming to the kitchen for a glass of water. And she hadn’t listened long, but she’d heard enough.
Nora had been telling herself that she was stronger now, that her situation had helped her grow a thicker skin. But that was clearly a lie. Her heart was as brittle as glass if it could shatter so easily.
But if Mrs. Young was right, this was the best thing that could have happened. It was a mercy that Nora had overheard the truth of River’s feelings. It would make it easier for her to move on.
She forced herself to turn and head back to the living room. But as she walked down the hall in a heartbroken daze, Edward came down the staircase.
“Nora,” he said, his brow furrowing. “Are you okay?”
She opened her mouth to tell him she was fine, but tears burned in her eyes and she stayed silent for fear that she would cry.
“Come with me,” he said, grabbing her hand and tugging her back to his father’s study.
“The kids,” she murmured.
“My dad is with them,” he told her. “They’ll be okay for another minute.”
When they reached the study, he gestured to the loveseat, and even though she didn’t exactly want to confide in him, she found herself sitting anyway.
Old habits…
Edward leaned against his dad’s desk, his eyes filled with concern. And Nora felt the words leaving her mouth before she had time to think about it.
“I kind of overheard something I probably shouldn’t have,” she confessed. “Your mom was telling River that he shouldn’t be with me.”
“Is he with you?” Edward asked.
She blinked up at him, uncertain how to answer.
“It’s none of my business,” Edward said, lifting his hands, as if he thought she wasn’t answering because she didn’t want to tell him, and not because she was confused herself. “You don’t owe me anything at all.”
“No,” she said. “It’s just… complicated. We were talking about it, but now…”
“If it’s about me, there’s no need to hold back,” Edward said carefully. “I still care about you, Nora. I want you to be happy. I’m sorry I couldn’t give you that myself when you needed it most.”
“You were honest with me, Edward,” she told him. “Honesty may be the most important thing in my life right now. The kids deserve that.”
“They’re really sweet,” he confessed, smiling down at her almost like the old Edward used to do.
“Aren’t they?” she said, feeling a burst of pride. “I’m so lucky to have them. I think I just need to focus on that for a while. The things your mom said… well, I wouldn’t want to be getting over both of the Young brothers.”
“What did she say?” Edward asked, looking surprised.
“She said he’s impulsive and he quits on things,” Nora sighed. “He follows his heart, but then changes his mind.”
“That’s harsh,” Edward said, frowning.
“Honestly?” Nora said, thinking back. “It’s not much different from some of the things you’ve said about him over the years.”
Edward winced.
“I guess that’s fair,” he said after a moment. “But from my perspective, the fact that he could quit things was a gift. I think I’ve sometimes resented it, because I’ve never been much good at it myself.”
Nora tried to hide her smile.
“Okay,” Edward said. “Go on, you can say it. I quit on you.”
“You did,” she agreed. “You had your reasons though.”
“Look,” he said. “I started the oboe in the second grade, and I never quit. I didn’t want to disappoint Mom and Dad when I was a kid and now I still practice every week because it feels wrong to stop. Honestly, though, Nora, I don’t even like the oboe. I never have.”
“Wow,” she said, honestly surprised. Edward played very well, and she had always thought he kept up with it because he loved it.
“I can speak fluent German because it was the language I signed up for in middle school,” he said. “I have never been to Germany, and I can promise you I’ll never go. It just never occurred to me to stop.”
Nora thought that one was a little funny, even if it was confusing. Who put so much effort into something they didn’t even like?
“As soon as I was a year into my degree, I knew it wasn’t what I’d hoped it would be,” he went on.
“But I didn’t want to start over again. I didn’t want to walk away.
So I kept at it, all the way through the grad degree and everything, then got a good job, and I work hard at it.
I’m good at it, and being good at it is enough for me. ”
She nodded, even as her mind raced at the idea that he wasn’t really happy with the one thing he had always prioritized.
“And here’s the thing,” he went on. “It’s fine for me to suffer through oboe lessons, or German classes, or even a boring job in accounting.
Because even if I don’t love them specifically, I do like being good at things, and I don’t like to disrupt the status quo.
But when it came to you and those kids…”
He pressed his lips together and she waited, needing more than anything to hear what he was going to say next—to finally learn why it was that Nora was the one thing Edward Young could quit on.
“Well, I knew it was going to impact someone else this time,” he said softly. “I already felt bad, Nora. I knew our marriage wasn’t working for you.”
She bit back the tears that threatened again.
He was right, she had been lonely even though she was living with him. She had longed for a family. But she believed in marriage and did her best to make their life together a good one.
Maybe she was more like Edward than she thought, because even though it wasn’t perfect, it never would have occurred to her to leave.
And it certainly never occurred to her that he had seen past her smiles to the unhappy woman inside.
“You were meant to have children, Nora,” he told her with a sad smile.
“You’re the kind of person who should have a nice big family, and I was in the way of that.
And then along came these kids, like the universe was making a point to give you what you deserved.
And I just… Well, I knew I couldn’t phone it in anymore—not for the kids, not for you.
I couldn’t just go through the motions in order to stick with something when it was bound to hurt someone I care about. ”
“I wish you’d talked to me this way at the time,” she whispered, a tear sliding down her cheek.
“It’s not in my nature to quit on anything,” he said, looking down. “I was in so much turmoil dealing with my own shame. It took me a long time to even be able to put it into words like that. I know that I handled it very badly with you.”
“But the important part is that you did the right thing,” she told him firmly. “The kids and I are just fine, and it’s so good that you did what you did before they came to live at the condo. It was a mercy on all of us, truly, Edward.”
He was silent for a moment before he continued.
“And that’s kind of my point here,” he said. “I did something out of character and I quit. And it turns out that it was the best possible move, right?”
She nodded.
“So then why can’t River do something out of character and stay?
” he asked. “I was skeptical, too. But I’ve honestly never seen him like he is with you and the kids.
I think our mother’s wrong on this one. I don’t think he’s going anywhere, Nora.
I think you should give him a chance, have a real conversation with him. He might surprise you.”
Her heart lifted for an impossible moment before reality crashed back down on her.
“He already left,” she said simply.
“What?” Edward asked.
“Your mom said all those things, and then he told her she was right and walked out the back door,” she said, feeling defeated.
“Nora, I’m so sorry,” Edward told her, lowering himself to the loveseat next to her and pulling her into his arms.
She hugged him back, grateful that he was still a friend, even after all they had been through.
“I’ll be okay,” she told him firmly, knowing it had to be true, that she would make it true.
That was the real miracle of the children. Her heart might be in pieces, but she wasn’t going to sit around crying about it for long. Her mind was already racing with ideas on how to get them out of this house and back to the city with the minimum amount of pain and disappointment.
I will still give these children a magical Christmas, she promised herself.
Somehow.