19. Quinn
19
QUINN
T wo days before the wedding, Quinn stood in the dressing room of Pura Vida , the little dress shop in town, waiting for Ana Gutierrez and her mom to come out from the back with the wedding dress they had made for her.
Their short engagement had passed in such a flurry of happiness and fun that she had to keep reminding herself that it wasn’t real. But now she was preparing for an actual wedding, and it sure felt real. A couple of her old friends from high school were even still trying to convince her to have a bachelorette party.
Quinn didn’t drink and she was a homebody—the bachelorette parties she’d seen in movies looked like exactly the kind of thing she did not want to do. So she had pushed them off, saying it made no sense to have a bachelorette party when you were getting married at the courthouse. They had mostly let it go, even though she was pretty sure two of them had exchanged a look at the reference to the courthouse.
Their confusion was understandable. Quinn had gone to church with her parents every Sunday since she was a little girl. It was out of character to get married anyplace else. But she couldn’t exactly tell them that she was getting married for business purposes, and she was terrible at lying, so she just settled for mostly ignoring them.
Since Quinn didn’t really have a lot of other close girlfriends, she was thankful that her cousin Bree had agreed to come along today and help with the dress. She had been thrilled when Quinn asked her, and she’d been super supportive so far. Ever since they were kids, Bree had always loved dressing up, so this was exactly her cup of tea. It also didn’t hurt that her husband was the pastor, and he’d agreed to handle the ceremony, which helped to soften the blow that it wasn’t going to be in a church.
“I can’t wait to see,” Quinn’s mom called to her from the other side of the curtain.
“Me neither,” Quinn confided.
She looked in the mirror and felt like a princess for a moment. Even the pretty slip Ana had brought out for her was fancier than any dress she owned. And it was only going under the dress.
The dress itself had been her mom’s only point of contention, and Quinn saw no reason to argue with her. She was pretty sure she wasn’t going to be getting married for real anytime soon—maybe ever, given that she was about to tie herself to a big farm in this tiny, tiny town. At least Mom would get to have this nice memory of dress shopping.
And she was thankful again that Bree had come along. She could take some of the heat off of Quinn by helping her approve the dress and choose any accessories that were absolutely necessary.
“Here we are,” Ana said happily. “Can we come in?”
“Of course,” Quinn called back to her.
The owners of the shop, Ana and her mom, Mari, came in with a big box.
“Now just remember,” Mari said. “We can always adjust anything that doesn’t feel just right. Okay?”
“Thank you,” Quinn said. “I’m sure it will be great.”
Ana placed the box on the floor and her mom lifted it up with a flourish.
The sumptuous material made an appealing swooshing sound as the dress sailed upward and then came to a stop between Quinn and the mirror.
Mari held it up to Quinn’s shoulders for a preview of how it might look.
“Oh, wow,” Quinn breathed.
The gown was exquisite. The lines were simple, just like she had asked. But the generous excess of fabric around the skirt lent it a kind of swirling elegance as Mari moved it around a bit.
It was more beautiful than Quinn could have imagined, and so much more than she deserved.
How could I let the nicest women in town make me a wedding dress when I’m not going to stay married?
“Let’s try it on,” Mari said with a smile.
Ana looked so proud that it made Quinn’s heart ache.
She let them dress her, trying not to notice the buttery softness of the fabric or the perfection of the fit.
“This might be our best work yet,” Ana said softly to her mother. “Quinn, you look like a princess.”
Quinn turned and looked in the mirror and the image before her took her breath away.
She had always thought of herself as a casual person. She loved her jeans and sweaters, and she preferred a sturdy pair of warm boots to high heels. When she pictured herself in a wedding dress, she always imagined she would look awkward or silly.
But the young woman in the mirror was elegant without being over-the-top. The beautiful fabric covered her modestly, but hugged her waist just enough to show her curves in a way Quinn wasn’t used to seeing with her everyday clothing.
And when she turned, the sound of the skirt rippling as it moved with her reminded her of the sound that the water made sliding onto the sand during that magical summer when her parents took her to the beach at Cape May to see the ocean.
“It’s perfect,” she heard herself murmur.
It was only when she met her own eyes in the reflection and saw the sadness and longing there that she found the flaw.
“You’re beautiful,” Mari said softly.
“Beau is going to lose his mind,” Ana chuckled.
“ Can we see?” Bree called from outside the dressing room.
“Of course,” Quinn said right away. “Come in.”
Mom slipped in first, and when Quinn saw the expression on her mother’s face, her eyes blurred with tears.
“Oh, honey,” Mom said, shaking her head and pressing her lips together like she was going to burst out crying.
“Wow,” Bree said.
“Remember that we can change anything at all,” Ana said. “The dress is just for Quinn, and it should be perfect.”
“Only a fool would change a single thing,” Bree said. “You guys are amazing.”
Ana smiled and her mom wrapped an arm around her shoulder. The two of them looked genuinely happy. And Quinn felt guilty all over again that she was lying to her own mother.
“Are you okay?” Bree asked. “Do you like it?”
“I love it,” Quinn said, looking down. “I just… I guess I’m feeling a little emotional.”
“That’s understandable,” Bree said. “Why don’t you take it off so I can hug you without worrying that I’ll ruin it?”
Quinn chatted with Ana for a few minutes and then they carefully lifted the dress off her.
She got back into her jeans and sweater as quickly as she could, and hurried back out to find her mom and Bree looking at accessories.
“I found a couple of things,” Bree said briskly, holding up a hair comb with pearls and a pair of simple white ballerina flats.
“Perfect,” Quinn said.
“Try them on,” her mother said, rolling her eyes.
Ten minutes later, they were leaving with the dress in its big box and their other purchases in a pretty shopping bag.
“We’ll walk you to your car, Bree,” Quinn’s mom said.
It was cold out and the air tasted like snow, but plenty of people were wandering around Trinity Falls, smiling and waving to each other. While Quinn was shopping for her wedding dress, everyone else in town was doing their Christmas shopping.
The cheery mood in the village made Quinn feel even more blue in comparison.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Bree whispered when Quinn gave her a hug at her car. “You know you can slow things down if you want, right? You don’t have to get married the day after tomorrow. I’m sure Beau will understand.”
“I’m ready,” Quinn said, giving her cousin a squeeze.
“If you say so,” Bree said, pulling back and looking right into Quinn’s eyes.
“Come on, sweetheart,” Mom called out. “We still have to finish up Zandy’s dress.”
While Ana and Mari were making Quinn’s dress, she and her mom had been working on a special one for Zandy on her mom’s old Singer. The thought of it made her smile in earnest as she waved goodbye to Bree.
“You look so beautiful in that dress,” Mom said softly as she drove them back to the house. “But mostly I’m just so glad you found someone, Quinn. You were always so shy. Your father and I worried sometimes.”
Quinn nodded, not wanting to point out that her dad was still worried.
“Dad will come around,” Mom said, as if reading her mind. “He’s just worried about you getting hurt. I think maybe he’s concerned that you don’t know the Wilson boy well enough, or that you’re only doing it so you can keep working their farm.”
Quinn turned to her mom, flabbergasted that at least part of her reasoning was so obvious.
“I told him that doesn’t matter,” Mom went on. “Beau Wilson’s a good man—everyone knows it. It’s nice that he wants a wife who isn’t afraid to roll up her sleeves and help out on the farm. You’re both young. You’ll grow together.”
Quinn smiled at her mother’s vision of the future.
“Besides,” Mom added. “Anyone can see by the way he looks at you that he’s besotted.”
“Hm,” Quinn said, wishing it were true.
“And Zandy…” Mom sighed. “That little girl is something special. And just think, you’ll have a whole family of your own right out of the gate.”
Mom pulled the car up in front of the house and they carried in the dress box and the bags through the frosty air.
“Hey, Dad,” Quinn said as she stepped into the warmth of the house.
“Hey there,” Dad said, standing from his spot on the sofa. “I’ve got to grab a few things from the Co-op. Need anything, Gert?”
“Don’t go now, Howard,” Mom said.
“We’re supposed to be getting some snow tomorrow,” he said, heading for the door. “There’ll be a run on milk and bread.”
Quinn watched her father pull on his coat and head out, feeling her heart breaking.
He can’t even stand to be here when I’m around. He knows I’m lying…
“That man,” Mom said with a fond smile, shaking her head.
“He doesn’t want to be around all the wedding stuff,” Quinn heard herself say.
“That’s fine,” Mom said. “He’d just be underfoot anyway. Come on, let’s get to work. Wait until you see what I found at the fabric store.”
Quinn trailed after her mother, smiling when she saw that every inch of the dining room table was covered with their project. The sewing machine was surrounded by an array of colorful fabrics of every kind, a rainbow of thread choices, the pattern they had made together, and a notebook full of inspiration pictures they had cut out from magazines and printed from the internet.
“I thought we could use the sequin stuff I found yesterday for the bodice,” Mom said, pointing to the prettiest shimmering pink material. “Can you imagine the look on her face when she sees this?”
Quinn closed her eyes against the image of her favorite little girl in the whole world, joyfully wearing the whimsical dress they had made for her with their own hands. The thought of this not being real when it felt so real hurt so much that she swore her heart was disintegrating in her chest.
But she would still see Zandy, even after the scheduled breakup. After all, Quinn would be living out her dream and taking care of the Wilson trees for the rest of her life now. The thought of looking out over the fields in years to come still filled her with joy. But more and more lately, she pictured two special people at her side, looking out with her.
“Oh, honey,” Mom said, hugging her close. “I know. It’s a little intimidating to think about raising a child, isn’t it? But I promise you, having a daughter is the best thing that could ever happen to anyone. And I can’t wait to be her grandma.”
Quinn wondered if she really had the guts to go through with this. But it was too late to back out now. Losing her shot at the farm was one thing, but Beau was counting on her now, and she couldn’t bear the idea of letting him down.