Chapter 22
22
Bailey
B ailey felt lighter somehow. Having that talk last night had been just the thing to make her feel a little better about where they were going to head next in their relationship. Carter knew the boundaries. She was aware of everything he had been dealing with.
It all just felt… right.
He’d left before she’d gotten up, but that was expected. He’d said something about heading to work early so he could come home in time to have dinner and make Christmas cards—an activity that Anya had insisted they needed to do. It was an inexpensive way to spend the evening, and at the same time, it was a way to show some love to the special people in their lives.
She needed to pick up some holiday-themed paper at the craft store today for the project, but luckily there was a big sale going on right now with Christmas coming next week.
After dropping Anya off at school, Bailey headed to town. She sang along to the Christmas song on the radio and turned down the street where the craft store was located. It was one of several boutique shops along a strip of buildings that included a bookstore and a coffee shop. Her eyes swept from one side of the street to the other, admiring not only the decorations but also how happy everyone seemed to be. There wasn’t a single sour face in the bunch.
Her singing faltered when she caught sight of a familiar truck she would have recognized anywhere. Her eyes flickered back to the road, and she slammed on her brakes to avoid bumping into a car that had stopped to make a turn down a different street.
Heart exploding with all kinds of emotions, Bailey’s gaze shifted once more to the truck. Maybe she was mistaken. Carter had said he was going to work at the ranch early this morning. Maybe the vehicle she was looking at wasn’t his. It was a real possibility. She shouldn’t jump to conclusions.
From her vantage point, she could tell there was someone in the driver’s seat, but she couldn’t tell if it was Carter or not. She hurriedly found a parking spot in front of the craft supply store and climbed out.
Her thoughts lingered on that truck. If it was Carter, then he would have had a reason to come to town. However, the hardware store or any store he might have needed to go to was on a different road.
She took a step toward the entrance of the craft store, then hesitated. Her curiosity had gotten the better of her and had traitorously taken control of her feet. She shuffled down the street toward the coffee shop, her cold fingers wrapping tightly around the strap of her purse.
Sidestepping the Santa who was ringing a bell out front of the bookstore, she continued until she was close enough to see the driver of the car—only they weren’t there anymore.
Her head swiveled as she looked around. Maybe it wasn’t Carter’s truck, though there weren’t many trucks that looked exactly like his old beat up classic. The thought that she’d find the driver anywhere nearby was laughable. The truck might not have even belonged to Carter. Even if it did, she likely wouldn’t see him. She tried to brush aside the unease, reminding herself that just because he wasn’t where he said he was going to be didn’t mean he hadn’t gone to work first.
She turned, shaking her head at her own ridiculousness. Then she saw him.
Her heart sank. It wasn’t merely seeing him that had the ache manifesting in her chest. It was who he was with. The man Carter was speaking to was the very same one who he’d gotten into a fistfight with only weeks before.
The contents of her stomach threatened to make an appearance. Her legs grew weak and shaky. Even if she’d wanted to tear her eyes from the scene, she couldn’t.
Carter looked upset, but so did the other man. They were arguing—no… There was something in Carter’s body language that didn’t quite fit with an argument. It resembled desperation, pleading.
Bailey inched back a step, hiding most of her body behind the large pole that used to hold up powerlines in the past. Now it was one of several poles used to post banners for town events.
Her eyes widened as she watched Carter reach into his coat to withdraw an envelope. She didn’t have to see it opened to know exactly what was in it. A wave of dizziness and betrayal knocked her sideways, and she had to lean into the pole to keep her body upright.
The man shook his head and pushed the envelope away from his chest, only for Carter to angrily shove it back. She was too far away to hear anything that they said to one another, but again, she didn’t have to. They were in the midst of a deal, and this guy didn’t want to enable Carter’s bad habit.
A teeny tiny part of Bailey wanted to run across the street and thank the man for doing the right thing—for telling Carter he couldn’t participate in whatever gambling he was trying to partake in. But even if she did, she wouldn’t get very far.
Her legs were about to buckle.
Flashes of memories played like an old-timey movie in her head. All the restless nights where she’d argued with Jack about his own bad habits. His gambling. His drinking. She’d demanded to know how he could possibly make those choices when he had a family to think about—a daughter .
Bailey pressed her back against the pole and focused on taking deep breaths. He’d promised. Last night, he’d promised her that he wouldn’t return to the world of gambling.
Still, a small voice in the back of her head whispered that perhaps she was misunderstanding what had just taken place. Or perhaps Carter was simply struggling too much.
Her heart broke a little more—this time for what Carter must be going through. As much as it had hurt her to experience the aftermath of Jack’s addiction, she’d known that it was quickly eating away at who Jack had been at his core.
Just because Carter wanted to make a change didn’t mean he wouldn’t slip and fall.
She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply. What kind of person would she be if she didn’t give him the benefit of the doubt? She didn’t have any reason not to believe him. So, if she stormed over to him and demanded to know what he was doing, that wouldn’t do either of them any good.
The best option right now would be to give Carter some space. She wasn’t going to immediately break it off with him. That would only end up hurting them all—Anya included.
Once again, she closed her eyes tight, squeezing them until she saw stars. For all her concerns about keeping her daughter safe, shielded from people like Jack… and Carter, she’d failed.
Now, Anya was attached to Carter. Who was she kidding? Bailey was attached to him, too. They’d become a sort of family, and it had only taken them a couple weeks to get there.
What did that say about her? Was she so weak and blind that she attracted the wrong kind of men?
Her stomach roiled, and the dizziness came and went in waves. Right now would be a very bad time to lose her ability to move. She needed to pick up the paper she’d come here for. She needed to ignore the detrimental thoughts that were bouncing and crashing around in her head. Nothing good ever came from a person making a rash decision without thinking things through.
Bailey pulled away from the pole and hurried down the sidewalk toward the store where she should have just gone in the first place. She was smart. She was careful. And she’d do what it took to keep her daughter safe.
If she could get her thoughts in order and make a plan for the future, then everything would turn out okay. It had to.
The rest of the day rushed past her, making Bailey feel like she didn’t have enough time to really gather her thoughts before Carter showed up at home. He came into the house about ten minutes before Anya was scheduled to get off the bus. Even from Bailey’s place at the kitchen table, she could tell that Carter had been going through a rough day himself.
She kept her mouth clenched tight. No words. She wasn’t going to ask him about his day because if she did, she’d be far too tempted to ask him to explain himself.
His smile didn’t fill his face like it usually did, something in his eyes turning into a barrier. As much as she wanted to reach out and touch him, to tell him how much she cared for him, she couldn’t bring herself to do so.
When she didn’t get to her feet but rather turned back to the paperwork she had laid out before her, he moved toward her. His steps landed on the linoleum, heavy with foreboding. Then he placed a hand on her shoulder.
She stilled but didn’t look up at him. The air was alive with electricity, but it wasn’t the good kind. It was the feeling one got before a lightning strike. It was the charged calm before the storm, and she was overwhelmed with the metallic taste of it all.
Without saying a word, Carter leaned down and pressed a kiss to her temple. Forcing herself to look up at him and offer him a small smile of her own, Bailey fought the urge to tell him she’d seen him today. It was harder than she’d thought possible not to give in to the temptation.
His brows pinched together. He’d noticed. How could he not? Her shoulders were knotted with tension. The hand in her lap was clenched so tight she was starting to lose feeling in her fingertips. Bailey got the feeling that even her lips were void of color for how tightly she was clenching her jaw.
Carter nodded toward his room. “I’m going to clean up.”
She nodded. The second he was gone, she released a heavy breath and put her head in her hands. It wasn’t fair how easy it was for her to give her heart to another person. She’d thought she was past this—past allowing herself to bend for another man. She’d thought she’d become strong and shrewd, but in reality, she was nothing but a doormat.
The rest of the evening was far more strained than she had strength to endure. Rather than sitting up with Anya making cards, she’d feigned a headache and slipped off to her room. She could hear her daughter speaking with Carter in the kitchen, but with the door shut, the conversation was muffled. Her heart ached for them both as her sense of dread continued dragging her down. How could she stay in a relationship with a man who wasn’t capable of sticking to his promises for even one day?