Chapter 26
26
Bailey
B ailey sat at her kitchen table after dropping Anya off for her last day of school before Christmas break. She wrapped her arms around her coffee mug, letting the heat sear her skin if only to dull the ache in her chest.
She’d been the one who had broken things off with Carter, so why did she feel like she’d been the one abandoned by him?
Maybe it was the addiction angle. Jack had left her life—not by his choice by any means—but he’d left, nevertheless. Now Carter had left, but this time it was her fault.
She lifted a warmed hand to her forehead. She then moved her fingertips to her temple. How had she gotten into this position a second time in her life? The universe appeared to have a cruel sense of humor.
The worst part was that Anya had noticed just how upset her mother had been this morning. She’d asked about Carter the day after Bailey had kicked him out and again for the next couple of days. Each time, Bailey had said that it was just time for him to move out.
This morning, her eyes were full of concern, but she didn’t bring up Carter at all. Bailey had been offered a shift at the club today, but she’d turned it down. It was the first time she’d done that since Shane had given her a job. Her reasons weren’t so much related to the chance she might see Carter. For the first time in a long while, she’d lost her energy to do much of anything.
She couldn’t explain it. The drive to survive had disappeared like the snow prints during a blizzard. Life had officially chewed her up and spit her out. It was all she could do to put on a fake smile and make it until bedtime.
A soft knock on her door ripped through her, shattering her melancholy to replace it with anxiety. She stilled, hoping whoever it was would leave. She already knew she looked a sight from her disheveled hair to the clothes she’d worn again from yesterday. It wouldn’t be Carter. She knew him well enough to believe that. Then again, she didn’t really get visitors. She had no clue who it could be.
The knocking persisted and she sucked in a startled gasp. Her skin was tight where the tears had fallen and then dried. Her hands trembled until she placed them firmly on the table before standing up. She could handle one visitor. She’d tell them she wasn’t feeling well, just like she’d told the woman who called her about taking that shift. Then she’d go lay down.
The second she opened her door, she knew none of that would be happening. Emma stood before her, hands folded tightly and hunched against the cold. Their eyes met, and Bailey knew that Emma was fully aware of what had transpired between her and Carter.
Frown lines marred her near-perfect skin. There was a tightness in her eyes and a concern that couldn’t have been faked even if she’d been a famous actor rather than a famous musician. “I’m so sorry,” Emma murmured.
Tears cascaded down Bailey’s cheeks as she retreated inside, leaving Emma to follow and shut the door. They weren’t even friends. Bailey shouldn’t be breaking down in front of Emma; she shouldn’t break down in front of anyone. The acquaintances she’d made in this town were just that. She could put on a mask and be a realtor, but she had the hardest time breaching the wall to turn any of the people she knew into friends. It had been something she struggled with back when Jack had been alive, and she still did.
She barely made it back to the chair at the table before her legs gave out on her. It had only been a couple days and already she had let herself succumb to this depressive state. Falling for a guy—any guy—when she’d been dealing with the instability of her home had been a bad idea.
Bailey glanced up at Emma as she removed her down coat and draped it over a chair. “I suppose you’re here to tell me that I should take him back.”
Emma’s brows rose. “Oh, honey, heaven’s no.”
Her response caught Bailey off guard. While Emma didn’t appear to be angry, there was a definite set to her jaw that made it clear she didn’t approve. Bailey wiped at her tears, willing them to stop flowing. “Then why do you look so upset?”
Emma sank down into the closest chair and took Bailey’s hand. The gesture felt so foreign. They barely knew each other save for the sale of her home and that one time Emma babysat Anya. The music star looked anything but as she leaned forward with a firm voice. “I think you need to do what’s best for you and your daughter.”
“How much do you know?” Bailey wasn’t sure whether Carter would have said much besides the fact that they weren’t together. He might have even blamed the breakup on her.
Emma’s frown deepened, and she looked away as she patted Bailey’s hand. “More than you probably do.”
The instinct to get offended that this woman would have kept a secret so important from her struck hard and low. But then Bailey had to remind herself that Emma wasn’t her friend. Not really. She was just part of the family—Carter’s family. She’d married into the mess, but that didn’t mean it was her right to share any of it.
Bailey dropped her gaze to their hands. “Oh.” She heaved a shuddering breath, still fighting the emotion. “Then I suppose you know all about him starting up his gambling addiction again—maybe more.”
There was a slight movement on Emma’s part, her hand tightening slightly on Bailey’s.
“That was why he’d been thrown in county lockup that night he got into that fight. I saw him trying to give the guy a thick envelope. It had to be money. I told him that he couldn’t go back to that lifestyle. I made him promise…” Her voice broke, and Emma’s hands tightened further.
“Bailey,” Emma whispered. “He wasn’t trying to place any bets or gamble his money away.”
She lifted her eyes, hating how the hope flooded her system, quenching her heart like rain pouring over a desert.
Emma sighed. “He left some letters at the house—before he left.”
“Left? Left where?”
The pained expression returned to Emma’s eyes. “All I know is that he stole some money from his brother again when he got back. Maybe he was trying to pay someone back? I don’t know. He’s been doing it a lot right up until he met you. He didn’t give any specific reasons why he needed the money except to say he spent a lot of it on you.”
Shock and fury hit her hard in the chest, knocking the wind from her body. “I didn’t—I never asked?—”
“I know. Believe me, we all do. Caleb—he’s beside himself…” She shook her head. “They all had hoped that when he came back, he would be different. They’d prayed that having a strong family behind him would be enough to help him change. Even though Wade is taking it hard, I think Caleb is taking it harder. Carter cleaned out his room, and his truck is gone. Charlie was the last to see him.” Emma released Bailey’s hand and reached behind her to pull something from her pocket. She placed the folded piece of lined paper on the table and pushed it toward Bailey with two fingers. “He wrote one to you, too.”
Bailey eyed the letter like it was a venomous snake. She wasn’t dumb enough to believe it contained anything more than excuses. The way her heart ached, she knew she couldn’t read it. She glanced up at Emma. “Have you read it yet?”
Emma shook her head.
“Will you?”
She hesitated, her eyes bouncing from Bailey to the note and back. Finally, she picked it up and her eyes traced the words on the paper. “He says… he’s sorry.” She glanced at Bailey again. “He’s really sorry, and he loves you.”
Bailey scoffed and looked away, her cheeks burning. He didn’t love her enough to fight his addiction.
“He says he’s not going to fight for you.”
Her eyes cut to meet Emma’s once more, and she felt the sting of tears forming once again.
“You’re both too different, and he’s too broken. He wants you to know he understands why you needed to break up and that he won’t try to see you again.” Emma folded the paper and placed it on the table.
There was no explanation why he’d stolen the money or what he’d been doing when he’d met the man in the park. It wasn’t adding up.
“Bailey,” Emma whispered, “if you’re struggling?—”
“I’m fine,” Bailey snapped a little too harshly. This had to be the most embarrassing conversation she’d had in her entire life. “I’m fine,” she said softer, face heating. “We’re getting by.” She peeked at Emma. “Tell Caleb and his brothers that I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologize?—”
“He stole it for me,” her voice cracked. “He could tell I wasn’t able to give my daughter a Christmas…” She shook her head.
“Carter was stealing before he met you. It’s an addiction. I wish it was different, but sometimes people just can’t help themselves—not until they want to make a change. Have you considered that maybe he’d started on the path to overcoming his addiction after meeting you? Wade confirmed their financial records were perfect starting around Thanksgiving.” She cleared her throat. “Thanksgiving… Isn’t that when you two started… seeing each other?”
Bailey nodded. The emptiness inside her was going to swallow her whole if she wasn’t careful. “Yes,” she rasped.
“Then maybe Carter is on the right path. That’s all we can hope for.” She paused, letting the quiet settle around them before speaking again. “We’re having a Christmas party in a few days. Sunday. You should come.”
“I couldn’t?—”
“You can. Just bring yourself and Anya. It will be a great way to get out of the house. I’m not going to take no for an answer.” She gave Bailey a meaningful look. “Starts at five.” Then she scooped up her coat and pushed her arms inside. Emma’s smile was one that instilled hope rather than giving pity.
Bailey nodded. “Five o’clock. We’ll be there.”