Chapter 15
Henry should never have moved so fast. He stood out by the barn, unable to focus on his work. Every few seconds he glanced up at Athena’s bedroom window. It was still dark, but then of course it would be at this early hour.
She hadn’t come out of her room after he’d left her dinner. He’d hoped she would seek him out, but she’d remained confined. Now he just felt stuck. There was so much up in the air right now. He didn’t know whether he should ask her about what had nearly happened or pretend that it never had.
The three arguing voices in his head got to be so loud that it was all he could do to block them out, which was why he stood here in the dark wishing he knew the right answer. Two competing voices battled with each other while the third grew the loudest. There was a part of him that wanted to just wash his hands of her and the complications that would inevitably come with trying to win her over, but then there was another part that refused to let him give up so soon.
Athena was special. He’d seen it day in and day out. Did she come with her own special kind of baggage? Of course, but who didn’t? This particular voice demanded that he march right up to her and tell her how it was going to be.
The loudest voice in his head was the one that had won out over the others last night. It was the one that insisted he didn’t want to scare her off. It didn’t matter if she stayed or left. He wasn’t going to be the one to send her on her way because he was hovering.
Henry pushed away from the barn and paced in front of the door. He stared at that window, wishing the light would come on like it did most mornings as she got ready to meet him down here. He couldn’t be sure that she would, but he could hope.
He brought his knuckle to his mouth and bit down on it, his pacing growing more charged by the moment. Once upon a time Henry hadn’t cared if he found someone to love or if he ended up alone. Those were the simpler times of his life—times that he’d taken for granted.
It was different now. Something had changed and he wasn’t sure he was ready for it.
What if he went up there and knocked on her door just to see if she was coming?
Bad idea. She’d think he was being too clingy.
How could he get her to come down so they could just set things back to normal?
“What are we looking at?”
Henry yelped and spun to face Athena as she lifted her eyes upward. Slowly, she brought her gaze down to meet his, one brow quirked. “Were you looking at my window?”
“No,” he stammered.
“Really? Because it sure seems like it.”
Henry crossed his arms. “Don’t blame me for wondering where you were when you not only avoided me for dinner last night, but you were also late this morning.”
A smile tugged at the corners of her lips. “I wasn’t aware that I could be late. Do I have an official job title now?”
“That’s not what I meant, and you know it,” he fumbled over his words again. “It’s just that we’ve created a sort of routine, and I didn’t know if I should get going on what I was planning today.”
“Oh?” She moved a little closer to him—enough that he caught a whiff of her scent. It was probably just the shampoo that was in the bathroom they shared, but today it felt different. She tilted her head, her smile growing. “What do we have planned for today?”
Henry couldn’t put a finger on it, but something was different about her. It was as if she’d finally decided to let down all the defenses she’d put in place—every single last one of them. That didn’t mean she was inviting him to get closer to her, but it could mean that something was changing—for both of them.
He swallowed at the lump in his throat. “I have to retrieve a few of the cows that slipped out through a broken fence line into a different pasture. There are two cows and one calf. It would be easier if I had someone come with me.”
Athena’s smile faded. “You want me to go with you…” she hedged. “On a horse?”
“Sure.”
“Sure?” she squeaked. “What do you mean? You realize that I’ve never actually ridden a horse, right?”
Henry did his best to hide the amusement he got from her nerves. “You’re great with Beast.”
“Yeah, that doesn’t mean I’d be great with another horse. Beast… he and I connect on a level even I don’t understand. There’s no guarantee that I’d have that same connection with any other horse you guys have.”
Henry moved close enough that he could take her hands in his. “Have a little faith, would you?” His soft words must have caught her off guard because she froze and stared at him like he’d told her he wanted her to go cliff jumping.
“Faith?”
“Yes, faith. If you get in the saddle and you feel like it’s not going to work out, then climb down and that will be the end of it.” Henry cocked his head, his gaze penetrating her as he attempted to read every nuance of her body language.
She pulled her lower lip into her mouth and chewed on it like she hadn’t been fed in years. Her eyes darted all over the place, never landing on anything long enough for her to actually see it. When she finally brought them to meet his, she heaved a sigh. “One condition.”
“What’s that?”
“I ride Beast.”
He threw his head back and laughed. “I can’t let you do that. You’ve seen the way he reacts when we put a saddle on him.”
“So?”
“So…” he drawled, “I won’t be the one responsible if you snap your neck.”
“Then I’m not going.”
“You’re kidding me, right?” Henry motioned to the barn. “That horse in there will buck you the first second he gets.”
Athena shook her head, defiance returning to her eyes. “You’re the one who keeps saying I have a talent and that I need to remember that. You keep saying that I should work with Beast so he can get ready for competition. Well, what better way to work with him than taking a ride.”
“You don’t understand. This is a ride out to a place he’s not familiar with. We’re going to be bringing back cattle—something he also hasn’t been introduced to as far as I know.”
“Then I’ll stay.”
“What you’re requesting, it’s dangerous. I swear, you’re not going to want to—”
“Will you just let me try? That’s all I’m asking. If he won’t settle down enough for me to climb into the saddle, then you can put me with whatever horse you think is appropriate.”
Henry stared at her hard. He wasn’t going to win this one. He could already see it in the way she stared right back. When she wanted to put her foot down, Athena didn’t take prisoners. If he was right about his growing feelings, maybe this was the moment in his life where he considered all his options and prepared himself for whatever was to come his way in the future.
“Fine. You can try. But I’m telling you, it might not work out the way you think it will.”
* * *
“I can’t believehe’s letting you ride him.” Henry had stopped gawking after they reached the trails that would take them to the pasture where he’d find the cows. Still, every time he turned to look in Athena’s direction, he half expected Beast to get fed up with being ridden.
And yet, Athena continued to sit tall and confident in the saddle like she’d been riding for years. It wasn’t until she caught him staring that her self-assurance faded. Just like that, her shoulders slumped, and she turned her eyes toward the reins she fingered near the saddle horn.
He’d thought she might say something—several times. He’d expected her to bring up their near kiss. Heck, he’d even thought she might thank him for the dinner he’d brought her. None of that mattered, of course. He’d simply thought they would clear the air so the tension between them would dissipate.
When she didn’t speak, he let out a pent-up breath. “I guess I should—”
“Remember when you asked me if my parents abused me?”
His whole world turned sideways, and his body froze. “That’s not where I thought this conversation would go. Are you saying that they did?”
“No!” She grimaced. “I know it doesn’t make sense to bring it up now. It’s just…” She fiddled with the rope again, then took a deep breath and released it in a shudder. “My parents never abused me. They might have raised me to have a different life than my foster siblings, but that’s not abuse. I still had all my needs met.”
Athena shook her head again, refusing to look directly at him when she seemed to find her center. He burned with curiosity. The information she shared with him had come in a trickle. The more he found out, the easier it would be to find her family—something he’d gotten started on last night.
She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. “I feel like I should say something about… what almost happened last night.”
His throat closed up. Now he really didn’t know where this was headed. “What happened last night…” he said flatly.
“Almost kissing you and then running off.” She made a face and her cheeks flooded with a deep crimson color. “I… how do I say this so it makes sense? I didn’t run off like that because I was scared. Okay, maybe I was a little scared.” She shut her eyes tight even as her horse plodded along the trail. Beast must have trusted her implicitly for him to behave so well right now. Athena opened her eyes and pulled up on the reins so Beast stopped. He pawed once at the ground, but other than that, he remained on his best behavior.
“You don’t have to—” Henry started, but she stopped him.
“I had an abusive ex.”
A tsunami of emotion roared to life within him. Fury. Surprise. Concern. Heartache. And more blinding anger. “What?” he growled through gritted teeth. “When was this? What’s his name?”
She held up a hand. “While I appreciate—”
“No!” Henry ground out. “You don’t get to just drop a bomb like that and expect me to let it go. I want to know who this coward is so I can give him what’s due.”
“Henry,” she said softly, “that’s not the point of my story. Besides, it happened almost ten years ago. I was sixteen. I’d dropped out of school. He was the one I turned to for affection.” She shook her head and waved a hand through the air as if to dissipate the fog of memories that clung to her. “The point is, I ran because I was scared, but not because I was scared of you.” Her voice had taken on a raspy quality. “I ran because I was scared of the idea of you.”
“The idea of me?” He frowned. How did that make any sense?
“Yes. I was scared about getting too attached to you. I’ve lived my life on the run—moving around so I could remain safe not only physically, but emotionally and mentally, too.”
He didn’t think it was possible, but her blush deepened in color. She looked away, turning completely so he couldn’t see her anymore.
Without knowing what his plan was, he jumped down from his horse. It was time to settle this once and for all.