Chapter 16
Athena watched Henry as he dismounted and came to her side. Her focus remained glued to him, but it almost felt like she had left her body and was watching from a distance. He held out a hand to her and her eyes dipped to it briefly. She could take it. Athena could accept his offering right here, right now.
She could shut her eyes, take the leap, and allow herself to find some meager amount of happiness.
For the first time in her life, Athena could see a happy ending. Henry was the first person she’d put her faith in since before she could remember. She hadn’t even given that part of her heart to her ex.
Time slowed, sluggish and had the taste of expectation. It was the feeling she got when she stood in the back alley of a bakery, knowing there would soon be stale bread to snack on. Only this time, her stomach wasn’t growling with anticipation.
It was her heart.
And her heart was beating faster, warmer, almost out of control.
“Athena,” Henry whispered. “I’m not going to hurt you.”
She stiffened. “I know that.”
He moved his hand closer. “Will you come down?”
Heat exploded in her chest, spreading out to her hands and face.
Jump, her heart seemed to say. Take the leap. You have nothing to lose.
Athena pulled her leg around so she no longer straddled the saddle. Her hands were placed on his shoulders at the same time he grasped her waist. His touch was warmer than she’d expected, considering the heat that hadn’t escaped her body.
Henry lifted her effortlessly from the saddle and placed her on her feet.
She stared at him anxiously—though this time, it didn’t wear on her. The anxiety she felt wasn’t exactly bad. Was this the eager anticipation most women experienced when they were falling in love?
Love.
The word was so completely foreign to her—like another language she couldn’t comprehend. Love was something only in fairy tales and movies. Love was for people who deserved the affection of others.
Henry deserved affection; there wasn’t a question about that. He deserved to find someone just as good and genuine as he was. He deserved more than what she could offer. And yet, she knew she couldn’t stop her heart from reacting to him even if she wanted to.
He’d made her fall in love with him. With all his sweet words, his support, the way he smiled. She was a goner, and she knew it.
Her hands were still on his shoulders. Her arms had grown weak and she didn’t know if she could move them. Maybe they’d drained of blood altogether. Or maybe because she simply wanted to be near him, her brain had turned off the neurons needed to work them.
Either way, she was content to let him speak first.
When Henry remained silent, she nearly lost her nerve. Staring into the eyes of someone like Henry was more than draining. Her body was a conduit, moving energy in and out at inhuman speeds. While she itched to run, she forced herself to keep her feet planted. Henry hadn’t pulled away. In fact, if she wasn’t mistaken, his hands had tightened where they held her. His eyes continued to search hers. This interaction felt like it had taken lifetimes when, in reality, it might have only been a few seconds.
“You…” Henry’s voice trailed off and his face flushed. It was nice seeing someone else react to the current circumstances like she had. “You are so much more than you give yourself credit for.”
She moistened her lips and tore her eyes from his. Compliments weren’t meant for someone like her.
He removed a hand from her waist only to push the other around the small of her back. “I know you can’t see it. I get that. With everything you’ve had to deal with in your lifetime, I’m surprised you haven’t been buried beneath all the negativity.”
Athena shook her head, “You don’t know—”
“I know everything that matters. I don’t care what you had to do to survive. That’s why it’s called survival.” His eyes drilled into hers. “I can’t say I know how you’re feeling. But I can tell you that I understand the desperation of making sure you endure whatever trials that are thrown at you.”
Chills shook her body. Henry saw her. He could truly see the person she was, scars and all. She’d never wanted to share that side of herself with anyone. Not any of her foster parents. None of her foster siblings—absolutely no one.
While she had to accept that the things he said in his little speech could fade away, today, she told herself, she wasn’t going to let the negativity in. The doors to the unknown had been opened wide and she was standing on the precipice, looking out to find that anything could happen.
Athena shivered. She took in a deep breath and exhaled, but it didn’t settle the strange things that continued to spin within her.
“Athena.”
The chills continued with his whisper.
“Yesterday when we…” He took a long breath and let it out slowly. “I really wanted to kiss you.” Henry’s nervous chuckle made her smile. He had one of the best laughs she’d ever heard. “I can’t believe how hard this is for me to say.” He shut his eyes and dipped his head so she couldn’t see his face. When he lifted his chin, his eyes met and locked with hers, the fervor behind them impossible to ignore. “But I’m not going to do anything that will make you uncomfortable. If I have to stay a certain distance from you until you trust me, then I’ll do it. Whatever you need, I’ll be that person for you.”
This was different. In her personal experience, there were two kinds of people in the world. There were the takers and the givers. Henry was the latter. If this moment taught her anything about people, it was that she needed to give more of them the benefit of the doubt.
Her hands moved behind his neck and she locked her fingers together. “I don’t need you to stay away. I feel… safe with you.”
“You do?”
She nodded. “You and Beast over there are the ones I know I can trust.”
One side of his mouth quirked into a half-grin. “Me and the beast, huh? I’ll take it.”
“Does this mean that we… can try again?” She murmured the question under her breath, more embarrassed than anything else that she was even asking him. She wasn’t entirely sure if that was where this conversation was going.
“Do you want me to kiss you?” Henry asked.
Athena nodded. “Very much.”
He pulled her closer, and this time she was ready for him. His mouth captured hers, so gently, so sweetly, that the tension only continued to mount. She leaned into him, craving more.
More of his touch.
More of the tenderness that he’d shown her from the very beginning.
A soft moan slipped from his lips, and he pulled back. There was a reluctance in his eyes that she hadn’t been prepared for. Pain flared to life deep, deep down where she had buried the rejection of anyone she’d wanted to get close to. Athena shoved it back where it belonged. “Was I not good enough—”
Henry placed a finger to her lips, cutting her off. “You… are… everything I have ever wanted.”
Confusion reared its ugly head. “Then why—”
He shook his head, releasing her as he took a step back. “Something about you makes me lose my head—and that’s not something I’m willing to risk.”
She wrapped her arms around herself, suddenly cold. Her eyes darted away, and she nibbled on the inside of her cheek as she tried to make sense of what he was trying to say. “That doesn’t sound very good.”
Lunging forward, Henry reached for one of her hands and gently pried it away from her body. He slipped his fingers between hers and covered their clasped hands with his other one. “It’s not bad.”
It took all her willpower to meet his eyes again.
He chuckled—that familiar, nervous laugh that made her want to join in. “The thing is… I haven’t really had a serious girlfriend. I’ve dated, but I’ve never cared much to turn it into something more—not until now.”
Her brows shot up. He’d never had a girlfriend. That was a hard thought to swallow—mostly because it didn’t sound at all feasible. She didn’t think he’d lie to her about something like this, though. Henry had been nothing but honest with her. She didn’t have any reason to doubt him.
“It’s embarrassing, I know.” He tightened his hold on her. “There’s something about you that is so… irresistible. I can’t stop thinking about you. No matter how hard I’ve tried—”
“You’ve tried to stop thinking about me?” Her voice was no louder than that of a mouse.
He shut his eyes and shook his head again. “That’s not what I meant. What I want to say is… sheesh, you make me so nervous.”
Athena smiled.
“What I want to say,” he repeated, “is that you do things to me—things that I didn’t think were possible. I thought I’d never find someone who was worth spending time with. And I’m glad I was wrong.”
Her smile widened. “Really?”
He brought her hand to his lips, then brushed his lips to the underside of her wrist. “Really.” He heaved a shuddering sigh. “How about we ease into it, huh? Take it one day at a time.” He grazed her jawline with his thumb. “And maybe next time I steal a kiss, it won’t be so hard to control myself.”
Based on her past experiences, she thought he’d controlled himself quite well. While she couldn’t say she knew what he was experiencing deep inside, she would like to think she’d felt the same kind of spark that was making him feel like he was losing control.
Her heart was still hammering against her ribs, demanding to be set free like a caged bird. She couldn’t believe he was still holding her hands with how clammy they’d become. It was getting more difficult by the second to stay on her own two feet after the kiss they’d shared—and it hadn’t been nearly long enough. She needed to stop obsessing over that kiss, even though it had been the best she’d ever had.
Thankfully, there was something else she was able to shift her thoughts to.
Henry pulled her into him, holding her against his body while they each disappeared into their own worlds.
Henry thought she was enough.
His exact words included everything.
Her heart soared to new heights at that thought alone. Henry Keagan, handsome and honorable cowboy, thought she was everything he ever wanted.
If she had been alone, she might have shouted her excitement to the sky. She would have done a happy dance like she’d done when she was a kid.
Athena had finally listened to her heart and allowed herself to do something that terrified her.
She’d allowed herself to fall a little more in love with a good man.
Her eyes closed and she hid her smile into his shoulder, inhaling the familiar scent of the soap they used in the Keagan household. The blend of sage and something floral had been strange at first, but now all it reminded her of was sanctuary.
It was time to stop running.