47. Dylan
47
DYLAN
I only went to the game because I didn’t have anything else to lose. Things were already a mess, and I didn’t see how it was going to get better if I stayed away from everything. Sure, I’d said that Brad could just have our friends — and I meant it — but they didn’t seem to want to give up on me so easily.
So I’d let them drag me along against my better judgement. I knew enough about football from Brad’s passionate discussions, from the way he always loved to talk plays and the game, and got excited when he got to tell me something new. It was cute, and I didn’t mind listening.
My gaze kept finding him, #48 on the field. Like I couldn’t even help myself, like I just gravitated to his figure on the field. He was good — I knew that much from talk around the school and the way Brad was always a celebrated figure in town. That was always how it worked, when sports were everything.
It was fine until halftime.
I sat in absolute stillness when Brad took the microphone. I didn’t know where the hell he was going when he first spoke, and the more he said, the more I felt an icy chill running down my spine. When it became clear what he was doing, I couldn’t help but want to run the hell out of there. Brad was staring at me, though, saying these things with such sincerity.
My chest felt warm, and I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. Was he expecting an answer just like that? How the hell did this work in real life? There was that one movie about the lady who went back to high school and dated her teacher — weird — but this wasn’t that.
“Go.” Theo nudged me in the ribs, smiling wide.
I glanced at him, and then back at Brad. He was standing there, watching me expectantly, the mic still in his hand, but lowered. He was done talking — he’d already spilled his heart out on the field.
Here he was, telling everyone — including his parents — that he wanted me in his life. Even more, that he loved me and wanted to still be with me.
It was more than I could have ever predicted. After all, it was his choice to not want to be with me anymore. He was doing it just like this for good reason, even if I might have asked for fewer onlookers. That was part of it, though, wasn’t it? That was one thing I knew he was worried about. How I would handle things in his life if his dreams came true.
Swallowing my embarrassment, I thought only of Brad. Of the way he was staring at me, at the pleading look in his puppy dog eyes, the way he was practically begging me to come to him or respond. How could I say no? There was never any doubt in my mind that Brad was who I wanted. At least not once we unlocked this weird thing between us.
I couldn’t say the same, couldn’t say I’d been in love with him from the second I set eyes on him, but I felt safe with him instantly. Which meant even more. Steadily I made my way down the stands, and it felt like all the eyes in the world were on me at the moment. It was a lot of pressure, and I resisted the urge to crack a joke or stumble over my own two feet.
Instead, once I’d descended, I went straight into Brad’s open arms, winding my arms around his neck. In front of his parents, our friends, and whoever was watching, I kissed him. His muscular arms wound around me, and I could feel the padding of his uniform brushing against me. Tingles ran down my spine as we kissed. He wouldn’t let me go, just kept holding me and kissing me over and over, right there in the middle of everyone.
My face felt hot, and I pulled away from him slightly. “I hate you for this, you know.”
He laughed, the sound so refreshing. There was that beautiful smile of his. I didn’t care that he was all sweaty, that he had just made a spectacle of us, that he still had to play the rest of his game. Because this was right, this was for us. “I know, but I love you.”
I couldn’t help but smile at that, and I leaned in and kissed him again. Suddenly, his muscular arms wound around me tighter, and before I knew it, he lifted me off the ground and spun me around. I smiled into the kiss, never wanting to stop.
Of course, we were still in the middle of the game. “Alright, alright, break it up,” the coach said, but he sounded amused.
Reluctantly, Brad put me back down. I smiled and clung to him for another moment, still not wanting to let go. He leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to my cheek. “For later.”
I nodded, and watched in a daze as he grabbed his helmet and went back out onto the field. This was another fog, but this was markedly different from the one I’d been in the past week. It was nothing like that, where everything felt heavy and difficult to wade through. This time everything felt light, like anything could have happened right in front of me and I wouldn’t have noticed, just thought about Brad.
Shaking it off, I went back to the stands, finding my seat again back with the others. I felt shaky all over.
“I want a full report of what the hell went on when one of you has time.” Shane gave me a knowing look.
“Same…but only if you want to.” Theo nudged me in the rubs. “Good for you, man.”
I couldn’t say anything, like if I did, it would break the magic of the moment. Like if I said anything, the spell would break and then I’d have to realize I was dreaming. But I wasn’t, not this time.
If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that somehow that made them play better. Maybe it was just because the fog lifted and turned into this haze of happiness that I wasn’t used to. It wasn’t like anything I’d dealt with before. Maybe I’d seen it in glimpses and moments, but this wasn’t shaking off, this was sticking around.
The game passed in that haze, and I felt almost weightless as the points kept climbing higher and higher for our team. I knew they’d do it, even if I knew the other team was good at what they did, too. They didn’t have what Brad and I had, though, and that had to mean something.
It was cheesy, but I couldn’t help it. Not that I’d ever say any of that out loud.
So when time ran out at the end of the fourth quarter, it wasn’t surprising when SVU won 34 to 29. At least not to me. Our side erupted in cheers and applause, and I laughed with my friends as we cheered for Brad and Jason and the rest of the team.