40. Forty
Forty
Rhett
“Labor Day is coming up. You ready?”
I looked up at my sister from the small cow we were preparing to brand. Why she decided this was the opportune time to ask me about a rodeo I was seriously considering dropping, I had no idea. I furrowed my brow and held the calf, determined to remain on task before Lachlan said anything. Branding day. Lachlan branded while I did the vaccines. Abi knew I was stuck in this corner.
“I guess.” The calf moo-ed once I removed the syringe, right as Lachlan touched the iron to her rear. She shook but then seconds later was fine, running off to the pasture.
“Still on top?” she asked.
“Second.” I grabbed the next calf and waited for Lachlan again.
“Second’s good. ”
“Yup. Second’s good.” I raised my eyebrow at her.
“When do you leave?”
“Not sure,” I responded smugly, praying she’d drop it.
“Wyatt left yesterday.”
“I’m aware.”
“You normally leave with him.”
“He’s not announcing at the Labor Day rodeo I’m riding in. He’s at Cour de ’Laine,” I corrected her.
“Well yeah, but last year you drove together—”
“What’cha getting at, Abi?” Annoyed, I stood and locked eyes with my sister. The calf I was supposed to be vaccinating was shaking its head. Lachlan let out a low grumble before turning back to the fire. He was just as annoyed as I was.
“I guess what I want to know is why you haven’t left. Why are you still here?”
“Does it matter?”
“Kinda.”
“Abi.”
“I guess what I’m trying to ask is—”
“Spit it out, Abi. Before I brand you.” Lachlan waved the branding iron in front of her, the smoke coming from the red metal.
“The Labor Day rodeo is in Washington.”
I rolled my eyes and avoided eye contact. That was a huge reason as to why I was thinking about canceling it. I didn’t know what would happen if I knew Kyla was close. I would chase her, and she made it very, very clear to leave her be. The message left on read was the defining moment I needed.
I loved her, but she didn’t love me .
“I’m well aware of where the rodeo is,” I groaned, releasing the calf. Up next was the small brown and white calf that was supposed to never be branded, yet here she was in the line up.
Josie.
Ignoring Josie completely, I reached for the one behind her.
“Just get out of your head and go get her already!” Abi shouted, slapping her thighs, her voice and slap echoing through the small barn.
“You really think this is the best time to have this conversation?” I glared at my sister, my voice rising.
“Yes,” she bit back, “because the rodeo is in two days, and you will need to get Buckle situated before you go find Kyla. You know where she works, and David’s out of the picture, right? She hasn’t filed for divorce yet. Just go get your wife.” Abi’s voice was getting louder and louder with each fact she stated.
I had hoped that David was going to be out of the picture soon, but without talking to Kyla I didn’t know if he was. Grace had sent me texts every day with a small update on Kyla. I knew there was the intention of filing for a restraining order, but I had no confirmation it had come to fruition. I could only hope.
It took all my strength to give her the space she wanted. To not chase her.
She didn’t want to be chased.
“Abi, it’s pointless. She told me to give her space,” I reminded her while reminding myself to calm my voice and not take any anger out on my sister .
“Did she use those words exactly?” Abi asked, taking a seat on a bucket near me. Lachlan glared at her, but then went on his way of branding the next calf.
I gave her a quick glance, shaking my head. She knew everything. I told her every detail that happened. I loved my sister, but she needed to stop pushing this. She needed to move on. I was trying to, and it would be a hell of a lot easier if she didn’t keep bringing her up every chance she got.
Josie moo-ed in the background, her hooves getting louder and louder as she approached me. Her nose hit my elbow. I ignored her.
“Hell, Rhett just go get her!” Abi raised her chin as her voice lifted.
“Just go get her. Like she’s mine to control?” My heart twisted, hating the fact that she wasn’t mine. Not anymore.
“Yes! Go get her! You belong together. It’s clear to everyone but you, obviously.”
“I won’t push her, Abi. She told me in no uncertain terms to not follow her.”
“Well, she’s being difficult.”
I leveled a glare at her. “I bet that’s what David told himself, that she was his and she belonged with him. That she was being difficult.” I could feel my voice begin to shake, but I stopped it. Taking a breath, I looked away from my sister. “I . . . I want her more than anything. But I won’t become him trying to get her back.”
“I see your logic, but . . .” Abi began.
I groaned, not wanting to be in this conversation. Lifting my chin, I began with, “She said to not fight her. To go back being Rhett Hartwell. To give this to her. And, she hasn’t reached out to me once. I’m giving her what she wants.”
“Then why are you still wearing your ring?” No longer shouting, she opened her palm to motion towards my hand.
I looked down at my hand, the rope engraved wedding band still felt natural on my ring finger. It was the one thing I had left of her.
“Because—”
“You love her.”
“We’ve established that Rhett is in love with Kyla.” Lachlan’s glare on Abi deepened. “But I honestly would love it if Rhett stayed here and skipped the damn rodeo. Nick is sick and he’s going to get every ranch hand in the bunkhouse sick, so I’ll need his help around the ranch.”
“There.” I nodded to Lachlan. “It’s settled, I’ll stay here.”
“Lachlan,” Abi growled his name, turning to our cousin. “I seriously hate you right now. He needs to go to Washington. It’s called a grand gesture.”
Rolling my eyes, I leaned against the gate, folding my arms to try to clear my head before I answered Abi. I had pictured a grand gesture several times. I would find Kyla at her new office, ask her to play her game and let me guess five facts about her—not that I needed to guess. I knew her. I know her. I’d get down on one knee and propose again—really propose this time. I had been carrying her ring in my pocket with me since she gave it back to me. Then I’d take her in my arms and kiss her, before I’d throw her over my shoulder and bring her home.
But that was only a dream. That couldn’t happen.
“I can’t. I’m giving her all the space she needs. ”
“I really hate how you're being a gentleman here.” Abi stood up. “She doesn’t belong in Washington.”
“She belongs wherever she’s happy, and if that is Washington—”
“It’s not,” she mumbled under her breath.
“You don’t know that.”
“You are frustrating,” Abi snapped as she left the pen, leaving Lachlan and I with all the calves to be branded. Josie walked up to me and nudged my hand with her nose, forcing my arms apart. I scratched her nose as she left out a soft groan.
“I half agree with her you know,” Lachlan said right before he placed the now cool iron in the fire. I could hear it begin to sizzle, and once he pulled it from the fire, the red hot iron smoked. I stood in front of Josie, protecting her from the iron. Lachlan looked at the calf, and then back at me. “I don’t understand why you’re not going after her.”
“She told—”
“I know, I get it. You’ve said that so many times. You make that fact known. Obviously if she didn’t want to be in your life anymore, she wouldn’t be texting her friend about you, and you wouldn’t be getting daily Kyla updates even though you don’t answer her—”
“Okay, I’m out.” I raised my arms and left the pen, with Josie turning to follow me. “I’ll be back later. I need a break.”
“You get fifteen minutes,” Lachlan called after me.
I raised my middle finger, as I moved to get as far away from that pen as I could, with the small cow following me the entire time. I turned and watched her—her small trots and the way her head bobbed with each step, a small moo coming from her as we approached the horse pasture. It was a beautiful day, with the sun beating down on the green of the ranch, the September air making its way in. The heat of the summer was fading, and fall would take over soon, turning the greens to reds and oranges. I wished Kyla was here to see it. She would love the fall. The fact that she was missing it took away from the beauty.
Two days later I found myself mounted on Buckle—the rodeo arena abuzz all around me. Abi had followed me into my cabin and somehow convinced me to man up and—in her exact words—“go to the fucking rodeo.” So here I was, at the fucking rodeo.
The rope was secure between my teeth as the lasso waved in the air next to me. Buckle took a few steps back, then one to the side, a routine she had picked up these last few rides. I was up next, and even though I knew the steps and I knew what to do, I could feel the tension sitting high in my shoulders. If I didn’t loosen up, I’d get a foot stuck, or I’d drop the rope, something that would screw up all the hard work I did to get my standings.
Focus, Rhett. Get your head where it needs to be.
Lifting my chin, I closed my eyes and breathed in the cool Washington air. It wasn’t Idaho air, but it was still crisp, and the chill of it hitting my lungs would help pull my focus.
“Not a bad run there, a 9.2 . . . that calf was trying—” I heard the announcer bellow across the speaker.
I began to tune him out, focusing on Buckle under my thighs, my eyes taking a quick scan of the crowd. It wasn’t a large arena by any means—just big enough that the crowd seemed to blur—but in the blur, a flash of yellow . . .
I paused and tried to focus in on the small spot of yellow in the sea of red and blue shirts and brown or dark hats—but it was only a glimpse—maybe it wasn’t even there.
Only, it had to have been. The only yellow I’d seen like that was . . .
“Kyla,” I whispered under my breath.
“And here’s Rhett Hartwell, Idaho native and earning the money in the circuit, he’s been keeping a high standing all year long, and tonight is going to be no different. Rhett. Hartwell . . .”
Blinking away the yellow, convincing myself it wasn’t her—she didn’t even know I was here—I swallowed and rolled my shoulders before giving the nod. The calf shot out of the chute and Buckle leapt over the gate. No broken barrier. The rope swung through the air, the whiz hitting my ear just in time to catch the calf. I jumped, my hand steady on the rope the entire time. The calf was right there, but all I saw was that damn yellow dress.
All I could see was her smile.
I could hear the cheers once I pinned the calf and tied its legs, waving my arms, and the crowd got louder.
But all I could really hear was her voice.
You did it, Cowboy. No 6.3, but look at you . . .
The announcer’s voice boomed, rattling off my time and few facts, but every word was muffled as I mounted Buckle and scanned the crowd. My heart rate dropped. I didn’t catch even a glimpse of yellow this time. But I did notice myself on that big screen, a look of confusion plastered on my face as I looked everywhere except on the ground where the calf stayed for the final six seconds. Licking my lips, I forced a smile and pulled back my rope as the calf was let free. Turning Buckle, I trotted off through the gate, my eyes up on the stands looking for that yellow dress.
Get out of your head. She didn’t want you to chase her, remember.
And I wouldn’t.
“Hartwell did not disappoint—” The announcer’s voice grew clearer as I took deep breaths, finding myself thankful that I was only seven hours from home and that I could be back in my own bed tonight.
I dismounted Buckle and held on to her reins, leading her back to the trailer. Her hooves hit with a clunk as I tried to ignore everything around me. A fellow roper, whose name escaped me, congratulated me on my winning time as he guided his horse to his own trailer, stepping in sync with me.
“Where’s that wife of yours, Hartwell?” he asked. “She’s been with you ever since—”
“She stayed behind,” I lied.
“Ah, well, tell her the guys missed her.”
I gave him a curt nod before I stopped at my trailer, reaching up to scratch Buckle’s neck. She needed to be brushed and rewarded for the run, then we could be on our way . . .
“Hey, Cowboy.”
I stopped.
The voice came from behind me, the most perfect angelic voice rang through my ears as I forced my feet to stay where they were. I was imagining this, I had to have been. It was the adrenaline—the pure excitement from winning a rodeo I was going to back out of playing tricks on me.
“Cowboy . . . I’m not in the trailer.”
I heard it again. I heard her again. With a quick inhale I turned and looked over my shoulder.
Kyla.
Kyla.
Kyla was here.
Wearing that damn yellow dress, white boots, and her white hat firm in her fingers at her side. Her hair fell along her shoulders, and when she smiled and tipped her head slightly, it fell and shined in the moonlight and my world stopped. Half of me wanted to run and gather her in my arms, allow myself to believe that she was really here. The other half kept me frozen in time and space, completely unable to form any kind of movement. All I could manage was a soft word.
“Kyla.” I echoed my mind, the word breathless as it left my lips. “You’re . . . here.”
“Well.” She took a single step forward. “I was going to go to the ranch, but when I called Abi—”
“You called Abi?” I asked, my entire body trying to remember how to move. I was still in disbelief that she was standing in front of me. That glimpse of yellow was her, and now she was here—meeting me like she would on the road. She was here. Really, truly here.
She nodded, the warmth of her radiating to me as she got closer and closer. Vanilla .
“A few days ago. I told her I was going to come home, but that I wanted to surprise you. You know, a grand gesture.” She moved her hair off her shoulders. “But then she told me you would be here—”
Buckle moved, nodding her head as Kyla came closer. Kyla gave a small laugh, and reached out to her nose, touching her gently. After giving Buckle a few seconds of attention, she turned back to me. I swallowed, my Adam’s apple bobbing with a gulp I’m sure she could hear.
“I just knew I couldn’t—” she began, dropping her hand from Buckle. Taking a deep breath, she smiled lightly. “I figured out what I wanted, but it was up to me to make it happen. Nothing else mattered once that realization hit me. I had been denying it for so long, not accepting that I could be happy and loved the way I deserved—the way you loved me. You did something no one else has ever done. You gave me the time I needed, and you still loved me. It may have taken me way too long to figure it out, but I did.” Kyla’s free hand played with the tie on her dress. “Rhett, I have so much I want to tell you.” She paused, a thin smile forming on her lips as she gave a small laugh. “We have so much to talk about, I’m not even sure where to start.”
“Kyla, I—”
“David is done,” she interrupted. “I wish you could have been there.” A small laugh filled the space between us as she moved, her shoulders relaxing as she dropped the tie on her dress. “I almost hit him.”
“You didn’t?” My eyebrows shot up. “You should have."
“I didn’t.” She shook her head quickly, the motion barely visible as her lips tightened. “Restraining order is being filed. He’s done. He’s gone. He can’t come near me or the ranch again.”
“The ranch?”
“I added that to the restraining order since, well, I want to come home.”
“Kyla,” I gasp, feeling my heart beat faster. I turned to tie Buckle to the trailer before reaching out to touch her skin. I needed to feel her. My fingers feathered against her, the same spark shooting through my arm. It was her. It was always her. “Please tell me I can kiss you.”
Her shoulders slouched as a shaky breath left her lips. “I left you, Rhett, and I—”
“Kyla.” I brushed the pad of my thumb against her chin, slowly tilting her to look at me. “How about”—I sighed, my conviction bubbling back in me as I remembered my own grand gesture—“we make a bet.”
The corners of her lips curled. “A bet?”
“I bet I can guess five things about you, and if I get them right, I get to kiss you. If I get them wrong . . . I’ll still get to kiss you. Then we will talk about everything.”
“Five things?” She raised an eyebrow.
I nodded, my eyes never once leaving hers.
“Okay,” she whispered, rolling her lips softly as she placed her hand on her hip.
“One.” I brushed the hair from her face, tucking it behind her ear. “When you’re nervous, you’ll roll your lips, almost as if you’re trying to find the exact words to say, but I love it when those words finally come. Two, you hate sleeping with wet hair, even if it means you need to blow dry it before putting your head on the pillow, you will. Three.” I smiled—all the small things I’ve noticed about her flooding back into my brain. Her eyes were glued on mine, as she hung on every word I said. “You love hotel beds. You say they are perfectly soft, even if the person sharing the bed with you keeps you from sleeping.” She chuckled, a small blush appearing on her cheeks. “Four, you are insanely good at pool. Even without distracting your opponent, you would win every game. And five—”
“Oh, I can’t wait for this.”
“Your drink order.”
“My drink order?” Kyla laughed, the sound filling my ears and hitting my heart. I never wanted to not hear that sound again.
“Rum and Dr. Pepper, because Coke doesn’t give it enough of a kick—not that rum doesn’t offer the kick already.”
Kyla’s lips moved, a tight line that was trying not to form a smile, but the corners pulled and tugged and finally the smile broke through.
“How did I do?”
“Rhett Hartwell, you better kiss me before—”
I closed the gap between us, my hand finding the nape of her neck with ease, pulling her towards me as our lips finally met. The scent of vanilla filled the air, and the soft skin of her fingertips brushed my chin. She left out a soft moan as she deepened the kiss, pulling me as close as she could.
When I finally came up for air, her forehead met mine. She inhaled, taking in that breath I knew she needed .
“I love you, Rhett Hartwell,” she whispered, those five words filling my entire soul.
“I love you, Kyla.” I stopped. “Kyla . . .” I dug my hand back into my pocket, her ring that was always there instantly finding my fingers. I pulled it out and held it up in between us, the small diamond glistening in the sunlight. “I love you more than anything. I don’t want to be without you again, please . . . be my wife?”
Kyla let out a small laugh as the tears began to fall from her eyes as she took in the small diamond. “You just happened to have that with you?”
Holding back my own tears, I stammered, “I always keep it with me.”
She kissed me, a sweet, fleeting kiss that felt like wind against my lips.
“Be my wife?” I repeated against her lips.
“Yes,” she whispered. “And I will be changing my name.”
“Mrs. Hartwell.” I slipped the ring back on her finger.
“Rhett,” she whispered as she brought our fingers up to her lips, “take me home.”