Chapter 5
“So pick somebody already,” Joel said gruffly. He and Jesse were sitting outside Meade’s Tavern watching people go by. It was no coincidence that Jesse told Joel to meet him here around ten a.m. when Lucy was due to arrive for her shift.
However, after much internal angst and debate, he had decided not to choose her. He could never expect her to return his love, even if he were alive, but the thought of her being scared of him was enough to keep him from ever speaking to her. It was best to leave things as they were—lonely, unrequited, but with the fantasy still alive.
Then he spotted Lucy walking toward them. His ghostly heart swelled as he watched her long, brown hair blowing in the breeze.
“Her,” Jesse blurted out, instantly forgetting his resolve to choose someone else. Watching the love of his life walk toward him, he knew he would never be able to court any other woman. Sure, he flirted harmlessly with tourists, knowing full well they would continue on their way and he would never see them again. This was different. He found he simply could not turn down the chance to talk to her. A thrill went through him when he imagined her pretty brown eyes looking right at him instead of through him.
Joel looked her up and down as she headed toward them. “She’s cute,” he said.
She’s not cute. She’s the most beautiful woman in the world, Jesse thought. He knew Joel’s assessment was probably more accurate. She probably wasn’t traffic-stoppingly beautiful to everyone, but she was to Jesse.
Before Jesse knew what was happening, Joel got up and headed straight toward her. Jesse hadn’t expected him to take the lead. He hadn’t thought about how this whole thing was going to work. Lucy would probably think they were crazy. One thing was for sure—Jesse had to put on his best poker face. He didn’t want to tip his hand to Joel that he knew Lucy, and he also needed to hide his feelings from her. He was used to being invisible, when he could stare at her as dreamy-eyed as he liked. It would be hard, but he had to act as if he were meeting her for the first time.
Joel headed her off just before she went into the tavern. “Excuse me, Miss?”
Lucy turned, and a surge of excitement shot through Jesse.
“Yes?” she asked.
“Can I ask you a question?” Joel asked her.
Lucy glanced down at his uniform and then looked back up at his face. She looked into his eyes just a moment too long, and then nervously pushed her hair behind her ear. She clearly found him attractive and was flustered.
Jesse’s heart sank as he realized he had made a huge mistake by choosing Lucy. There was no way he could compete with Joel. Broad-shouldered, blue-eyed, Union soldier Joel. He looked so strong and masculine. Jesse was just as tall and broad-shouldered, but much skinnier. Food had been scarce for many of the Southern soldiers, and Jesse had been underweight when he died. They were both weak as kittens since they were ghosts, but there was no way for Lucy to know that. It would be agony for Jesse when she chose Joel, and there was nothing he could do to stop it from happening.
Jesse wanted to run and hide so Lucy would never see him. His uniform was rough and worn, not like the crisp blue Yankee ones. There was a reason his regiment, the First Texas, was known as the Ragged Old First. His fellow soldiers were strong and brave, but they were also poor and hungry. It was obvious that Lucy found Joel strikingly handsome. Jesse dreaded to see the look on her face when she finally turned to look at him.
“Between the two of us…” Joel pointed at Jesse, and Lucy finally turned to look at him. She looked at Jesse curiously. She looked down at his uniform and then back into his face the same way she had with Joel. Only this time, she didn’t exactly look like she was about to swoon.
Jesse was devastated. She had looked at him like he was some kind of scientific curiosity. The best he could hope for now was that she would pick Joel quickly and get it over with. It would never be over, though, because Joel would never let him forget it.
“Which one of us would you choose?”
“What? What do you mean?” Lucy asked, understandably perplexed.
“Me and my…friend…here have a bet. We decided to pick a girl at random and ask which one of us she would choose. So, between the two of us,” Joel said, practically batting those blues eyes of his, “who would you pick?”
“Why me? Why did you pick me?” Lucy asked uncertainly, as if she expected the two men to start laughing at her at any moment.
“We just decided to pick the prettiest girl we could find!” Joel said, turning on the charm.
Lucy looked uneasy and asked softly, “Is this some kind of joke?”
Oh, God. Jesse thought. She thinks we’re making fun of her. He should have anticipated that. He was never sure why, but Lucy never believed it when a man told her she was pretty. She always looked uncomfortable and slightly afraid, like she feared she was being mocked.
“Oh,” Joel said gently. “You’re one of those girls who’s pretty but doesn’t know it.”
I could’ve told you that, Jesse thought. Lucy never noticed when men checked her out, which was frequently. Jesse noticed. He shot daggers at any guy eying her up, even though they couldn’t see him.
“No, ma’am,” Jesse said, finally finding his voice. “No joke. It’s jus’ a silly bet between my friend and me.”
Lucy looked at him curiously again. “You look so familiar. Where do I know you from?”
Sudden panic gripped Jesse. He’d hadn’t forgotten to go invisible on one of those days when he’d spent hours staring at her, had he?
Her face broke into a soft smile. “I remember now. I saw you get shot by a junior Yankee.”
Jesse stared at her a moment, before smiling warmly back. “Sounds like me,” he said. I can’t believe she remembered.
“Wait a minute,” Joel said suspiciously. “You guys know each other?”
“No, no,” Lucy said. “I just saw him once on the street.”
Maybe they didn’t technically know each other, but Lucy was clearly charmed by the memory of him playing with a little kid.
Jesse relished the way Lucy looked at him. He had been nervous talking to her, but she had a way about her that put him at ease. Like even if he said something stupid, she wouldn’t think less of him. He knew Lucy was much smarter and more educated than he was, but she didn’t make him feel inferior. She looked at him like he was someone of worth. It was a relief to not feel invisible for once.
“So what tour group are you guys with?” Lucy asked Jesse.
“Ah-ah…” Jesse stammered. If he still had blood in his body, he would have blushed. He was caught completely off guard by her question. He hadn’t thought to make up a backstory.
“Not a tour group,” Joel answered with confidence. “We work at the reenactor store down the street. The Regimental Quartermaster.”
Lucy nodded, and Joel smirked at Jesse. Jesse knew he looked like an idiot who didn’t know where he worked, while Joel came across smooth and suave.
“I’m Lucy Westbrook, by the way.”
Jesse smiled and touched near the tip of his hat and bowed slightly. “Private Jesse Spenser of the First Texas Infantry.” It drove him crazy that he couldn’t remove his hat in the presence of a lady. Appearing to tip his hat and bow was the best he could do with his ghostly body to show the proper respect.
Lucy laughed. “Well, I’m very pleased to meet you, Private Spenser,” she said, playing along. Or so she thought.
“I’m Joel Casey of the 124th New York,” Joel said, saluting. Offering a salute was his way of avoiding a handshake. “You know, the guys who actually won the war.”
Lucy laughed again, and Joel grinned at her.
“Oh, quit braggin’, Yankee Doodle,” Jesse said with annoyance.
“Screw you, Secesh!”
Lucy blinked, and then looked at them both curiously. “Wow, you guys are hardcore.”
“You have no idea,” Joel said, glaring at Jesse.
“So. Which one of us would you choose?” Joel asked her.
Both Jesse and Joel looked at Lucy, and she blushed and looked down. Jesse felt a surge of protectiveness toward her. He knew how shy she was, and that she wasn’t used to male attention. She still seemed worried that this might be a mean joke at her expense. How could she not realize how attractive she was?
Lucy looked up again, glancing first at Joel, then at Jesse. Her face didn’t betray any preference, though both boys scrutinized her expression. “I can’t choose just by looking at you!”
Thank God for that, Jesse thought.
“Sorry, but I really have to get to work,” Lucy said, looking over at the tavern.
“But we have to know your answer!” Joel said, offering her a winning smile.
She smiled back. “Maybe tomorrow.” She turned to smile at Jesse, too, before she headed into work.
* * *
Lucy walked away,shaking her head slightly. She really wasn’t sure who to choose. She found them both entertaining, especially seeing how into “character” they both were as they acted the parts of soldiers. Joel was, without question, the better looking of the two. He was breathtakingly, knee-weakeningly handsome, but there was something alluring about Jesse, too. He had a kind smile and he exuded a sense of warmth and affection. Lucy liked the way he looked at her. She felt so plain next to Joel, but Jesse made her feel beautiful somehow. His accent was adorable, although it was probably just part of his Confederate soldier act.
They were both charmers, that was for sure. They seemed nice. She needed to stop assuming the worst when cute guys spoke to her. She used to be an ugly duckling; scrawny, dorky, with glasses. She’d been bullied a lot growing up, and she still felt like that awkward girl. Though she didn’t exactly have men falling at her feet, she had to remember they weren’t necessarily making fun of her when they approached. This wasn’t high school anymore. Not everybody was out to hurt her.