Chapter 17
Jesse ducked behind the back of Meade’s Tavern, in the parking lot, so he could turn visible without anyone seeing him. Then he walked back around the front and waited for someone to go into the restaurant so he could walk in through the open door.
A million scenarios of what could happen swirled through his head, and few of them ended with Lucy rushing toward him telling him how much she’d missed him.
What if she saw him and screamed? What if she fainted again?
A young couple finally walked to the front door of the tavern. Jesse did his best to look as non-threatening as possible as he followed them inside.
The hostess, Janine, greeted the couple warmly. As she led them to a nearby table, Jesse scanned the dining room. He knew Lucy’s schedule and knew she was working that day, but she wasn’t in the room at the moment. His ghostly stomach tingled with nervousness and excitement. He wanted so badly to see her again, but he didn’t want to scare her.
Janine smiled at Jesse, but otherwise ignored him and went back to work. She knew he was a friend of Lucy’s and wasn’t there to dine.
Lucy walked into the dining room carrying a huge tray of entrees for her customers. Jesse hoped to God that she would be able to put the plates down in front of her customers before she caught sight of him. He had a horrible vision of her panicking, dropping hot food, and burning herself or someone else.
She smiled warmly as she set the food down on the table. After she ensured they had everything they needed for their meal, she started to head to the back of the room.
Lucy caught a glimpse of Jesse just as she turned to head toward another table. She slowly, methodically turned back around. She locked eyes with him from across the crowded dining room.
Jesse didn’t move an inch. He knew that anything he did or said could frighten her.
Lucy’s hand flew to her lips. She paled, just as she had when she first realized he was a ghost. She looked terrified, as if she might burst out crying.
Jesse’s heart sank. She was still afraid and probably always would be. He didn’t want to hurt her anymore. He gave her a sad smile, then pressed his right hand to his lips and blew her a kiss. The door opened behind him as more customers came in, and he used that opportunity to turn and walk away.
Lucy stared at the door after Jesse had left. Adrenaline pumped through her system, and she put a hand on the bar to steady herself. His sudden presence had taken her completely by surprise. She was scared, but also happy to see him again. She hadn’t realized how much she’d missed Jesse until she saw him.
Jesse’s smile was so sweet and so sad. It was hard to be frightened when she thought of his gentle face. Lucy recalled Theresa’s words: He really is a sweet farm boy from Texas. Standing in the doorway, he looked like a poor soldier, a kind young man, and not something to be feared.
Lucy had the sudden urge to run after him.
“You okay, honey?” Mandy asked. She stood behind the bar and saw how pale Lucy had become.
“Y-yes. Yes, I’m fine,” Lucy responded. She glanced back at the doorway, then went back to tending to her customers. For the rest of her shift, she couldn’t stop thinking about Jesse. He’d seemed so lost, so lonely. She pictured how he’d looked before she found out he was dead. How happy he seemed when he talked with her, joked with her.
Jesse had obviously given her a few days to recover from her shock before trying to visit her again. The poor guy was doing his best not to scare her, but she’d freaked out anyway. Why the hell did she have to be so scared all the time? He’d never done anything to hurt her. He was lonely and just wanted to be her friend, and Joel likely wanted the same thing.
Lucy worried that she had completely ruined her chance at ever seeing either one of them again. She thought of Jesse blowing her a kiss as he stood in the doorway. It was a goodbye kiss. Her heart ached at the thought.
* * *
Despondent,Jesse trudged down the street. Joel watched Jesse as he walked right by him, staring at the ground. He didn’t even see Joel sitting on the steps of one of the historic buildings. Jesse’s dejected expression told him everything he needed to know. Lucy was still afraid. It would be cruel to continue to haunt her with their presence, so they had no choice but to leave her be.
Joel felt terribly, utterly alone. It had been wonderful to have someone as kind as Lucy to speak to every day. It was something to look forward to in an otherwise empty existence.
He watched as Jesse continued to walk aimlessly down the street. He couldn’t help but feel sympathy for him. Joel understood the heartbreak of being separated from the woman you loved.
* * *
Jesse founda place to sit in the busiest part of town. He watched the crowds for a bit. He flirted with some of the women, but his heart wasn’t in it. Even watching the children running around didn’t cheer him. It simply reminded him of the family life he’d never have.
His plan had been to vanish for a long time, to simply cease consciousness for a while to escape the pain of losing Lucy, but he knew that was only a temporary solution. When he came back, he’d still be faced with the same problems.
The only other solution was to cross over. If he’d known how to do that, he’d have done it long ago. It had been a long time since he’d even tried to work through the issues that were keeping him earthbound. Now Jesse had more motivation than ever. The only way to escape this hellish existence was for his spirit to be released.