14. Chapter 14
Chapter fourte en
Cashlynn
“Thank God you’re here. I’m starving.”
Hazel opens her door, peering at me with one eye barely open as I stand on her doorstep with bags of food in my hand from Astrid’s bakery and coffees from Keely’s Caffeine Kick.
“Sorry it’s so early, but I’m freaking out. I snuck out before Parker woke up.”
Hazel yawns loudly as I walk past her. “Well, your text last night said this was an emergency, so as soon as the caffeine kicks in, I’ll help put out the fire.”
Walking into Hazel’s apartment reminds me a lot of my place back in Philadelphia. There are tons of framed photos on the wall, mostly of her family, but some of the Carrington Cove beaches. Everything is decorated in browns and greens, very earthy tones with pops of white and blue for color. It’s welcoming and homey, but still very modern.
“Did you take all these pictures?” I ask as I set the bags of pastries on the kitchen counter and move closer to admire the display.
“I did—except that one.” She points to a photo of her entire family. “This is the last one we took before Dad passed.”
The frail man in the middle of the photo catches my attention instantly. “How long ago did he pass?”
“Almost two years now,” she says, melancholy in her voice.
I turn to look at her and see tears welling in her eyes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you, I just…”
She brushes a tear from her cheek. “It’s okay. I prefer talking about him instead of trying to pretend like he never existed. It keeps his memory alive, and I was lucky to have him as my father. In fact, if you ask my brothers, I got the best version of him, so I won the lottery in that respect.” She turns away from me and goes over to the coffees, plucking one out of the tray for herself.
“Parker doesn’t talk about him.”
Hazel huffs out a laugh. “Yeah, well, I think we can agree that Parker isn’t big on talking, period.”
I join her at the counter, holding the other coffee like a lifeline, and then blurt out, “Parker and I slept together last night.”
Hazel spews her coffee all over the floor. “Hot damn! You did it? You got him to snap?”
“Yes, but I think he knew what I was up to.”
Her brows draw together. “Why do you say that?”
“Because he told me as much—while he was fucking me.”
Hazel nods her head slowly. “Nice.”
I throw my free hand up in the air. “Nice? This is not nice! He came home from work, all pissed off about something, saying he needed to talk to me. I was busy and asked him to wait, but he wouldn’t. So we argued, and then the next thing I knew, he was fucking me on his workout bench.”
Hazel holds a hand up. “I know this may sound shocking given how invested I’ve been with this plan since the beginning, but I do not need to kno w details about the sex. Just knowing that it happened is enough information for me, all right?”
“What do I do, Hazel?”
She takes another sip of her coffee while she mulls it over. “What did he do afterward?”
I think back to how he acted, and I think that’s what has me so confused. One minute, he was whispering dirty things in my ear and contorting me into a human pretzel, and the next, he acted like nothing had happened. Shocker.
“He went right into the conversation he wanted to have before the sex.”
“And what was that about?”
“Seth is convinced that Parker and I aren’t a real couple, and he’s threatening to expose us.”
Hazel purses her lips. “Expose what?”
“That’s kind of how I feel, like what could he possibly find to prove that our story isn’t real, but still…Parker was freaked out about it.”
“And then after that? After you talked about Seth?”
“He walked inside, took a shower, and went to bed.”
Hazel face-palms herself. “God, my brother is an idiot.”
I wrap my arms around my body. “I don’t know what to do, Hazel. What if this was all a mistake? You said he would open up once we had sex, and—”
“I didn’t say that, the other girls did,” she corrects me. “But knowing Parker, he was just as up in his head as you are right now.”
“I feel like I’m trying to crack a freaking walnut with my bare hands,” I say, exasperated.
Hazel laughs. “Yeah, sounds about right. And as for Seth? That guy is a maggot that needs to be torched.”
I cringe. “Wow. That was a vivid image.”
“ I’ve never liked him and, given how he’s reacting to your dad retiring, my gut was right on the money.”
“Parker said he’s never had a good feeling about him either. I wonder if my dad sees it.”
“You should definitely ask him the next time you see him.”
“We’re supposed to have lunch this week.”
Hazel nods. “Then do your due diligence and hold up your end of this bargain. Make sure that Seth has no chance of your father choosing him.”
“I will. Now, what do I do about Parker?”
She gestures for us to sit on the couch and as we do, I notice a sliver of ink on her forearm that wasn’t there before. “Wait. Did you get a tattoo?”
She looks down at her arm, pulling up her sleeve to reveal a hummingbird. “Not exactly.” Her cheeks turn pink, which makes me press further.
“Why are you blushing?”
She sighs dreamily. “Let’s fix your problem and then I’ll tell you about mine.”
“Okay…” I flick my eyes back and forth between her face and arm, but then Hazel pulls me back to the topic at hand.
“As for my brother, I would have asked you how he was this morning, but you said you snuck out before he was up, so I don’t have much to go on here. So, my advice is…just play it cool, and act like nothing changed.”
My jaw falls open. “That’s it? That’s your advice?”
She shrugs. “I don’t know what else to say. The other option is to corner him and make him talk. There’s only two ways he can react.”
“Which are?”
“ He caves and finally addresses the tension between you two. You can be truthful with him about what you want, and then hopefully when your business is up and running, you two will agree to give this a real shot. Or, he walks away from you again, at which point I’d say cut your losses.”
“But…but I don’t want to cut my losses.” I clasp a hand over my heart. “I want your brother.”
Hazel eyes me over the rim of her coffee. “Congratulations, you just passed the test.”
Laughter spills from my lips. “What?”
“I’m just making sure you’re not giving up on him, because Parker needs someone who won’t stop fighting for him.”
“Then what do I actually do?”
“You go home, jump his bones, and then right before he’s about to come, grab him by the dick and make him talk to you.”
I blink at her slowly. “Maybe I should have called Willow.”
She shrugs. “It’s early and my brain isn’t firing on all cylinders yet.”
Shaking my head, I consider whether Hazel is right. I’ve followed her advice thus far, and look where it’s gotten me. But I know I’m so close to getting Parker to see what’s right in front of him. If I give up now, I’ll never forgive myself.
No regrets, Cashlynn. Remember?
“I’m going to corner him today.”
Hazel nods approvingly. “I think that’s the right move.”
“I’ll let you know how it goes. If things blow up…” I glance around her apartment. “Do you have space for a roommate?”
She laughs. “I don’t think that will be necessary. My brother may be stubborn as all hell, but he’s not stupid—though he has his moments. Don’t all men?”
I t ake a sip of my coffee just as my eyes fall to the hummingbird on Hazel’s arm again. “Okay, so back to you and this hummingbird.”
Hazel’s smile grows instantly. “I’m still trying to wrap my head around what happened, Cashlynn, but…do you believe in signs from the universe?”
“Absolutely.”
“Well, I think my dad was giving me one.”
Goosebumps break out over my skin. “Oh my God…”
“Yeah.” Her eyes glisten, but she blinks away the tears. “I was sitting at Keely’s, doing some editing and responding to emails because sometimes working outside of my studio makes me more productive,” she says as I nod in understanding. “And all of a sudden, this man walks up to me, and I swear, if I had a picture in my mind of what my perfect guy would look like, he would have been it. Tall, lean but muscular, covered in tattoos, and I’m pretty sure I saw a tongue piercing.”
My eyes widen. “Ooh, nice.”
“Right? So he strides up to me and sits down in the seat across from me. When I took my earbuds out, he asked me if he could draw on my arm.”
“What?” I laugh in disbelief.
“Yeah, it was really bizarre, and for a moment, I thought it was his version of a pick-up line. But he explained that he was fulfilling a bucket list item of sorts, and noticed I had beautiful, bare skin.”
“Oh my God. My stomach is all tingly right now.”
Hazel giggles. Full-on giggles . “Believe me, as I watched him draw on me, I couldn’t fight the way my body reacted. It was like his touch flipped a switch connected directly to my clit.”
I bark out a laugh. “I bet.”
“But when he was done, he just stood from the chair, thanked me, an d left.”
“He didn’t ask for your name? Or number?”
“Nope. He was gone before I could even process what the hell happened.”
“Do you think he’s local?”
She shakes her head. “I’ve never seen him around here before. He was probably a tourist—this town is full of them, as you know. But it was one of the most exhilarating moments of my life.”
“I can’t believe that. It’s so romantic and…”
“Unreal, right?”
“Yeah… Why do you think it was a sign from your dad?”
Hazel stares down at the bird. “When he was dying, I asked him if he would visit me, and he told me I was stupid to think he wouldn’t. He said he would come to me as a hummingbird because he knew how much I love them. So now, whenever I see one, I like to think he’s here with me.”
I blink away my own tears threatening to fall. “I love that. I definitely believe it was him, Hazel.”
A tear slips down her cheek. “Maybe. But now the question is, what was he trying to tell me?”
“I wish I had an answer for you.”
She looks up at me and shrugs. “And I wish I had an answer for you about my brother. But I think you’re on the right track. If worse comes to worst, I can go over there and slap him around a bit,” she teases.
“Oh, I’m sure he would love that.”
We both laugh and Hazel moves to the kitchen for the pastries. As I share the progress I’m making on my business and she tells me more about her photography business and her brothers, I realize for the first time since I moved here that I feel like I have a friend.
Hazel is the type of girlfriend you could only dream about, and her brother is the man I have dreamed about.
It ’s time to be honest with him. I know what I want, and I’m tired of us dancing around our feelings. Shit is about to get real. I just hope that Parker can handle it.
***
When I walk into Parker’s house a few hours later, I find him in the kitchen making a sandwich. He’s in a plain white T-shirt and black athletic shorts, his hair a sexy, disheveled mess. I have to say, I love the way he looks in his button-down shirts, slacks, and ties when he goes to work, but this version of him—relaxed, raw, and unguarded—is my favorite.
When I shut the door behind me, his eyes flick up to meet mine. “Good morning,” I say because it’s barely after ten, yet I feel like an entire week of agony has passed since last night.
“Morning. I was surprised to find you gone when I woke up. I’m nearly always up before you.”
“I—I couldn’t sleep.” Crossing the living area, I move to stand on the other side of the island, facing him head-on. “I think we need to talk.”
Parker inhales deeply, exhaling slowly and looking back down at his sandwich, holding a butter knife. But then his jaw tightens as he squares his shoulders. “What do you want to talk about?”
The way he acts as if I’m the frustrating one has me snapping now. I slap the counter with my hand. “Damn it, Parker! Enough is enough!”
The knife he was holding clatters against the marble, the sound echoing around us. “What’s gotten into you?”
“What’s gotten into me ?” I shout as I round the island and stand right in front of him. “You! You got into me. You fucked me last night and th en walked away like it meant nothing.” His jaw tightens but he still doesn’t say anything. “I can’t do this anymore. I can’t keep denying what’s between us.” Placing my hands on his chest, I move in closer to his body. “I need you to talk to me. Please.”
“You’ve been pushing me, Cashlynn,” he says, his voice gruff and low. “Torturing me, taunting me with your body, and I gave in. Isn’t that what you wanted?”
My heart races as he confirms what he said to me last night in the heat of the moment. And even though I’m regretting the decision of messing with him now, there’s no going back. “Yes, I did. But I figured you’d open up to me afterward.” I reach up, cupping his face, forcing his eyes to meet mine. “You hurt me when you just walked away.”
“Fuck,” he mutters, closing his eyes. “The last thing I want to do is hurt you.”
“Then what do you want?”
His eyes snap open, locking on mine as I wait with bated breath for him to speak.
Say something, Parker. Tell me what you’re feeling.
He hesitates, his throat bobbing as if he’s swallowing words that refuse to stay down. And then he snaps.
“I fucking want you, woman! There! Is that what you wanted to hear? That I can’t stop thinking about you? That having you in my house makes me consider something I haven’t let myself think about in years? That wanting you scares the ever-loving shit out of me?”
A sigh of relief escapes my lips because, even though I can hear the turmoil in his words, he said exactly what I needed to hear—that these feelings racing through me aren’t one-sided.
“Yes, that’s exactly what I needed to hear, Parker. Now shut up and kiss me.”
He doesn’t hesitate, pulling me into his chest fully and covering my mouth with his. His kiss is possessive, desperate, and luxurious, the kind of kiss you feel all the way down to your toes. When his hands move to the back of my thighs, I jump into his arms and wrap my legs around his waist as he turns and sets me on the counter. Being back in this position reminds me of the night I stole a kiss, but this time, I hope to God he doesn’t shut down again.
“You’ve been driving me crazy, Cashlynn,” he mumbles against my neck as his tongue and teeth mark me.
“I’m sorry,” I say softly, threading my fingers through his hair. “I didn’t know how else to get you to let your guard down.”
He rears back and looks at me. “You make me feel shit, Cashlynn…shit I’ve buried for years and vowed never to feel again.”
“And what happens now?” My voice is barely audible, my heart pounding against my ribs.
“Now…” he says, leaning forward and biting my bottom lip before licking the sting away, “Now I’m going to fuck you again.”
“God yes,” I moan as he tugs my shirt over my head, throwing it across the room before doing the same with his own. He shoves his shorts and underwear to the floor as I shimmy out of mine. Then, he drops to his knees and pulls me forward on the counter so my pussy is right in front of his face.
“I can’t get enough of the taste of you,” he says before licking me from bottom to top, giving my clit the attention it needs, swirling his tongue around the bundle of nerves expertly.
I bury my hand in his hair as he feasts on me, exploring every inch of my pussy, spearing his tongue in and out of me as my entire body clenches and prepares for my release.
I f eel two of his fingers circle my entrance, and then he slowly enters me, flicking his tongue over my clit while his fingers curl deep inside of me.
“Oh God. Yes…right there.” My fingers tug on his hair, my stomach tightens as every stroke of his tongue sends me careening higher and higher toward the pleasure I know he can give me—because he’s done it before and nothing has even compared.
“Fucking come on my face, Cashlynn.” His words are muffled, but his command is clear. And with a few more strokes of his fingers, I see stars. Screaming out, I pull Parker’s face into me, soaking up every last tremor.
As my body trembles in the aftermath, he stands up, lining himself up to my core, and slides right in without giving me a second to recover.
“Jesus, fuck,” he groans. Our eyes meet and then we both look down to where we’re joined, watching him glide in and out of me. “Look at you take my cock, Cashlynn. Such a good fucking girl and such a greedy pussy.”
His words send a rush of heat through me, my nails digging into his shoulders as I gasp, “God, Parker… I need you. Don’t stop.”
He smacks my clit, sending a jolt of biting pleasure through my body. I cry out, the sound caught somewhere between a moan and a gasp, as he soothes the sting with slow, circular strokes.
Holy shit.
If grumpy Parker always fucks me like this, I have an entirely new problem to deal with when it comes to resisting this man.
He speeds up, thrusting deep and hard as I hold onto his shoulder with one hand, and put another behind me for support. Throwing my head back, I soak up the feeling of every inch of him pushing in and wi thdrawing from me. It’s incredible—so flawless that I almost feel like I could come again.
But suddenly, Parker pulls out, helping me down from the counter before spinning me around and pushing my torso down onto the cool marble. Sliding back inside me, he grips my hips for leverage, his fingers digging deliciously into my skin.
My hands are splayed out above my head on the countertop beneath me, my hips digging into the counter with each thrust. Leaning down, Parker presses his chest against my back, lacing his fingers with mine, pinning me to the marble as his lips brush my ear. “Take my cock, baby. Take every fucking inch.”
“God, yes, Parker!” My voice trembles with raw need.
“Wearing my ring while I fuck you…How does that make you feel?” he growls, nipping my earlobe as goosebumps bloom over my skin. “How does that make you feel?”
I moan as his cock hits something deep inside of me. “Wanted,” I pant. “Needed.” I groan as he swirls his hips behind mine and drags his tongue up the curve of my neck. “Owned.”
“Damn right.” Parker’s hand comes down on my ass with a sharp smack, the sting radiating heat and sending a jolt straight to my core. “But you own me too, sweetheart. That’s what you don’t realize. You’ve owned me since the second our eyes met on the plane.”
His words make the wetness between my legs intensify, and with a few more thrusts, I feel my orgasm ready to detonate. “I’m close,” I say breathlessly.
His hand reaches around my hip and then he’s circling my clit, giving me that perfect friction that I need to explode. “Come on my cock, Cashlynn. Make a fucking mess for me.”
God, his mouth . “Yes…I’m—I’m coming!” I shout as my entire body tightens and then snaps like a rubber band. Parker picks up his pace, chasing his own release, and finds it on a groan that makes my whole body shiver.
When we’ve both recovered, he pulls out of me, spins me around and cups my face in both of his hands. “You’re going to be the death of me.”
I can’t help but giggle—because not only did this man just fuck me better than I could have imagined, but a sense of relief comes over me when I realize that now we can finally decide how to move forward.
Parker pulls me into his chest and breathes deeply. “Let’s get dressed and then meet in my room.”
“Okay,” I reply, grabbing my clothes from the floor and then hurrying to the bathroom as I feel his cum dripping down the inside of my thigh. That’s an unfortunate side effect of not using condoms I was blissfully unaware of.
Once I clean myself up and throw on a more comfortable outfit, I head to Parker’s room. The door’s open and he’s sitting on the edge of his bed, his forearms resting on his knees.
“You okay?” I ask softly.
He lifts his head and his eyes soften almost immediately, but there’s still a pinch in his brow. “Yeah. Come here, Cashlynn.”
Nervously, I close the space between us. He reaches out and pulls me between his legs.
“I’m sorry,” I murmur.
“For what?”
“For not just sitting down and asking you how you felt.”
He grins. “You didn’t have to torture me to get me to fuck you again.”
Heat rushes to my cheeks. “It wasn’t my idea.”
“I know. I heard you talking to Hazel on the phone the ot her night.”
I groan, smacking my forehead. “I hate this. I hate that I’ve even put us in this position.”
He tilts his head. “And what position is that?”
I push his hair back from his face. “Did I want to sleep with you again? Yes. But not just for sex. I just…I care about you, Parker. I feel like that night last year wasn’t just a fluke. Call it fate or serendipity, or whatever you want, but I couldn’t get you out of my head.” I let out a shaky breath, searching his face. “And being here, pretending to be engaged, I… I guess I just wonder if there’s something real here, and I wasn’t sure if you felt that too. And then when I talked to the girls about it, they suggested focusing on the physical connection we have because you’d be more likely to open up to me that way.”
Parker chuckles. “Well, they weren’t wrong.”
“You’re locked up tighter than Fort Knox. Every time I think I’ve found a way in, you shut me out again and we act like nothing happened. I’m tired of that.” I pause, taking a steadying breath. “I’ve been in serious relationships, but none that make me feel an ounce of what I feel for you and with you.”
His brows draw together as he stares up at me. For a moment, I fear he’s going to push me away again—like he always does. But then he swallows hard and says the words I’ve been longing to hear. “I don’t know what I’m able to give you, Cashlynn. But fuck if I can keep pretending I don’t want you too.”
I breathe out, five weeks of tension leaving my body as I do. “All I need to know is that we’re on the same page. The rest we can figure out later.”
“Is that really enough for you?”
“Yes,” I say without hesitation.
He reaches up and pushes a strand of my hair behind my ear with a tenderness that makes my chest ache. “How on earth did we find each other a year ago in this big, messy world?”
“I don’t know, but don’t you think it means something?”
“All I know is that when I met you on that plane, it was the first time in a very long time I felt drawn to someone. I hadn’t even entertained the idea of dating anyone. But when we slept together and you left so abruptly, I told myself that was it—just a one-time thing. But then you walked back into my life. So yeah, I do think it means something.”
“I honestly had no expectations coming to Carrington Cove, Parker. But the instant I saw you again, all of those feelings came rushing back. You made me feel something I didn’t know existed.”
He smiles up at me. “And what was that?”
“Safe. Calm, which I really needed in that moment.” He nods, urging me to continue. “Fascinated because I wanted to know everything about you. Optimistic, like maybe there really are good men left in the world.” Laughter escapes his lips. “But most of all…powerless. Like something bigger than me was pulling me toward you, and I couldn’t fight it even if I wanted to. That’s why I slept with you that night. I needed to know if my intuition was right, and it was. But when it was over, I panicked. I left because I didn’t know how to admit I already knew who you were—or how much I’d started to care.”
I run a hand through his hair, my voice softening. “I thought it was just one night too, but it stayed with me, Parker. It made me think about what I really wanted out of my life, what I’d been settling for, and what I could change. That night with you… it made me believe that I could have more, do more, feel more than I ever let myself before.”
“Fuck, Cashlynn.” He pulls me down to him, pressing our lips together. I show him with this kiss how honest my words are. When he rel eases me, conflict lingers in his eyes. “You scare the shit out of me.”
“I’m scared too, Parker. I feel like you have the potential to destroy me.”
“I’ve been destroyed, baby, and I swear, I’d never do that intentionally. But you have to be patient with me, okay?”
I nod, rubbing my nose against his. “I can do that.”
“So, what happens now?”
“Well, for starters, I’m starving, and it looked like you were making some lunch before I interrupted you.”
He stands from the bed and cradles my face in his hands. “I was making a sandwich.”
“If memory serves, you make a pretty good one. Mind making one more?”
“Yeah, I think I can do that for you, as long as you promise me one thing.”
“Okay…”
“No more unplugging the appliances.”
I throw my head back with laughter. “Oh my God.”
Parker’s jaw clenches instantly, and the surly man I’ve grown to adore returns in an instant. “I’m fucking serious, Cashlynn. That was some next-level, tortuous shit.”
I swat him on the chest and press up on my toes to kiss him. “You can thank Willow for that little move.”
He grumbles under his breath, “I should have fucking known. First, it was her videos that got me into this mess, and now she’s trying to drive me insane through you.”
I take his hand, leading him to the kitchen. “You have to admit, it was pretty funny.”
“No, Cashlynn. It was ridiculous. Seriously, I was questioning your sanity there for a minute.”
Still laughing, I hop onto the stool at the island as Parker moves back to the kitchen counter. That’s when we both notice the flattened pieces of bread on the counter.
He looks up at me. “Probably shouldn’t use these.”
“I think that’s my ass print.”
Parker chuckles. “Well, I was hungry. I just found something more satisfying to eat.” He waggles his eyebrows at me.
A shiver runs down my spine, igniting my need for him again even though we just had sex. Will that ever fade? Doubtful. No one has ever fucked me like Parker does.
“Yes, you did. And I’m happy to serve that up anytime you want.”