20. Sadie
20
SADIE
If being with Ian is sensory overload, the two Barlowe brothers together are a force of nature that almost pushes me over the edge. Ian pinballs between being enigmatically guarded and endearingly sweet, but Felix is the polar opposite. Every fiber of his being acts like a magnet, drawing the attention of anyone and everyone in his orbit.
For this dinner, he’s wearing a robin’s egg blue silk shirt in a polka-dot pattern with a chunky gold chain around his neck, cargo pants, and bright orange high tops that I’m sure cost more than all of my shoes put together.
He pumps hands, slaps backs, and poses for selfies like he revels in the fame that comes with his superstardom in the football world. It’s hard not to get caught up in that kind of energy. And it’s obvious that both Ian and Riva are used to it.
Ian is doing his best to let his brother take center stage while he fades into the background like he’s just another Skylark local out for dinner with his family. Riva sticks close to his side, and I can tell she appreciates her dad’s more laid-back demeanor even as she giggles at Felix’s outlandish jokes and posturing.
We’re all laughing, and I’m grateful to Ian’s brother for being the best buffer imaginable. It’s needed as I scramble for footing in this fake dating arrangement that no longer feels fake at all.
“What got you into the dog training business?” Felix asks as the main course is served. He and Ian each ordered a bison steak while Riva’s having sweet-potato gnocchi and I’m dining on the salmon special.
“To be honest, I’ve always liked animals more than people,” I say, earning an appreciative chuckle from the brawny receiver.
“You’re one up on this lug over here.” He points his fork at Ian. “He doesn’t like people or animals.”
“I like people,” Ian argues, “and I like animals.”
Riva snorts. “Name your favorite animal, Dad.”
“Grizzly bears.”
“Right.” Felix nods. “That tracks. An animal that would just as soon claw you to death as walk on by.”
“I respect grizzly bears.” Ian defends his choice even though it’s obvious neither Felix nor Riva are buying what he’s selling. “They’re powerful and strong and know their own minds.”
Felix chortles. “What the hell do you know about the mind of a grizzly?”
“I like Max,” Ian says instead of answering his brother’s question.
“Max is my sister’s dog,” I explain to Felix.
“He’s the best boy,” Riva confirms.
“Your sister lives here in town?” Felix asks.
I shake my head. “She just finished nursing school and works at a hospital in Kansas City. She’s getting married this summer in Vail.”
“Sadie’s taking Dad to the wedding.” Riva winks at me. “Because he’s her boyfriend.”
“Yeah, kid, that’s how it works.” His bemused gaze tracks back to me. “Does your sister bring her dog to visit on the regular?”
“Oh, no, Max lives with me. He’s ten, and Piper is busy with her job, so Max stays here. He was her dog growing up. We got him after our mom died.”
“So he’s your dog,” Felix insists. “If your sister was that dedicated, she’d find a way to have him with her.”
“She checks in on him almost every day,” I say, even though he’s right. I offered to drive Max out to Piper when she graduated from college so she wouldn’t be alone. At that point, I didn’t realize she’d already started seeing Bradley and they’d moved in together. Bradley wouldn’t pretend to like animals, not even sweet Maxie, for my sister’s benefit.
I feel Ian’s warm hand on my leg and feel the backs of my eyes sting. Max means the world to my sister–I know this–and it breaks my heart that she’s marrying a man who won’t love her first four-legged love.
“Max is the perfect ambassa-dog for Sadie,” Riva tells her uncle. “He helps the anxious dogs get comfortable when they first come to her for training. He’s a total sweetheart.”
“It would take one to warm up to your dad.” Felix chuckles. “When we were kids, he got chased by almost every mutt in the neighborhood. He emitted suspicious pheromones. Still does. Or maybe it’s that grizzly-bear energy. Look at me wrong and I’ll swipe you with my claws.”
“Or try to scare you for no good reason,” Riva chimes in.
“I’m not scary,” Ian says quietly, prompting more laughter from Felix and Riva.
He looks surprisingly uncomfortable as his brother and Riva continue to share the joke at his expense. Not fragile, exactly—no part of him could be described as fragile—but there’s a sense of vulnerability there. I can tell he doesn’t like being the butt of a joke, but just as clearly, he’s not going to defend himself.
I’ve understood from the beginning that Riva is the quickest way to expose her father’s soft underbelly, but now I realize he’s just as vulnerable with his younger brother. I do the same thing with Piper, but in a different way.
“Grizzly bears have a lot of positive attributes,” I announce to the group. “They’re strong, independent, and fiercely protective of their cubs.”
I offer Riva a smile. “Just like your dad. And you can’t deny that Max is discerning in his affection.” I turn my gaze to Felix. “Max’s most notable trait is the habit of greeting certain people with an enthusiastic sniff between the legs. But he saves this special hello for humans he really likes. He doesn’t just shove his snout into any old crotch.”
The three of them laugh at my joke, and Ian’s shoulders relax.
“Are you saying my brother’s crotch is special?” Felix asks, then quickly holds up his hands when Riva makes a sound of disgust.
“That’s so gross, Uncle Felix. She’s saying that Max likes Dad.”
“If he likes my brother, then I’m guessing that dog would camp out with his head firmly lodged between my legs.”
We all glance up at the strangled noise the waitress who just approached the table makes.
“Oh, hello,” Felix croons in a tone that is clearly meant to sound like a caress.
Her brown eyes widen. She definitely heard his comment. Hell, half the restaurant probably heard it. Felix Barlowe doesn’t have much of an inside voice.
“I wouldn’t be too sure,” I tell him. When I notice the waitress lick her lips as her gaze turns flirty, I shake my head and nod toward Riva. “Can we see the dessert menu, please?”
She blinks then nods and hurries away. Ian mouths thank you to me across the table, and I smile in response. This is more like it. Back to the dynamic I’m used to with him.
Until his gaze lowers to my mouth, and I’m once again a bundle of nerves and desire. Like a ball shot through an arcade game, pinging from side to side with no clear direction.
Get it together, I command myself, but my body refuses to listen.
The waitress brings the dessert menus, and Felix orders one of everything. It’s the kind of casual excess that reminds me how different my world is from the life of the Barlowe brothers. I live on a set budget, one that includes eating out twice a month, and never at a restaurant as fancy as this one.
I’m not claiming they don’t work hard or aren’t good guys, because they clearly are. But I’ll never be entirely comfortable in their world.
Of course, that doesn’t stop me from sampling a bite from every one of the desserts.
Crème br?lée is my favorite. Mom would sneak a ramekin of it from the kitchen at the country club on special occasions or to celebrate a good report card.
I close my eyes as I savor the creamy and crunchy bite, the perfect amount of vanilla giving the sweetness an extra depth. When I open them again, Ian is watching me, and the intensity of his gaze makes me blush.
After dessert, Ian and Felix banter over the check the waitress leaves on the table between them, each insisting on paying.
Riva, ever the peacemaker, suggests they settle it with a thumb war. There’s a lot of muttered trash-talking as they link fingers and begin, but they’re both grinning boyishly.
I know they’re closer in age to each other than Piper and me, but watching them have fun together makes me yearn again for that kind of lightness in my sibling bond. I really need to change the tone of my interactions with her.
I want more fun in general. I’ve learned plenty from Ian in these past few weeks, but that might be the most important takeaway.
Felix wins and slams his palm on the table in celebration so hard, his wine glass tips over, the last bit of the red liquid splashing onto my dress. “Oh shit, Sadie, I’m so sorry,” he says immediately.
“Nice work, numbnuts,” Ian says while Riva covers her mouth with her napkin to smother a laugh.
“It’s fine,” I say, but Felix is already reaching out with his napkin to dab at my chest.
“Get your hand away from her.” Ian’s voice carries a warning tone.
Felix drops the napkin and pulls back like a referee tossing a flag onto the field.
“It’s fine,” I repeat, mostly for Ian’s benefit. “I’m going to run to the bathroom and see what I can wipe off while it’s still wet. I’ll meet you at the host stand.”
I’m somewhat successful with a damp towel, removing most of the wine stain, and I’m sure I can rinse out the rest when I’m home. As I throw the paper towel in the trash, I glance up at myself in the bathroom mirror. I barely recognize the woman looking back at me. My hair is down around my shoulders, and although I only wear a hint of mascara and lip gloss, my skin shines and my face practically glows with vitality.
I look relaxed, and, I can’t believe I’m saying this…beautiful.
Is this what great sex does for a person? Who knew? I should probably work harder at separating my feelings for Ian from our mutual physical attraction, because the benefits part of our unlikely friendship is doing me a world of good.
I walk out of the restroom and find Felix waiting for me. He gives me a sheepish smile. “I’m really sorry, Sadie, and I’d like to tell you that’s the first glass I’ve ever tipped over with my enthusiasm, but it’s kind of my thing.”
“No worries at all,” I assure him, scanning the restaurant. “Where are your brother and Riva?”
“She saw a girl she met at the pool. They want to have a sleepover and dragged Ian over to meet this new friend’s mom.”
“Did you catch the girl’s name?” I ask, intrigued. Not that I know everybody in town, but I might recognize her.
“Tamara Green is the kid’s name, so I suppose Mama Green is the mother’s name.”
“It’s Lillian,” I correct him. She’s a few years older than me, but arguably the it-girl of Skylark for more than a decade. Bradley and half his friends had major crushes on her, and they made a huge deal about spotting her around town during summer and winter breaks when she would come home from college.
“You guys might have friends in common with her.” I shrug. “She was a Grizzlies cheerleader for a few seasons before she had kids. She moved back here, but divorced her husband a couple of years ago. She works at a popular salon in town.”
Lillian was one of my first clients, and the first to leave when Dogapalooza opened. Although other customers have come and gone over the years, Lillian’s desertion hurt because I’d mistakenly believed we were becoming friends.
The rumor around town is that she’s blown through the settlement she got from her ex and is looking for a candidate to become husband number two. How convenient for when my time with Ian is over.
The thought of him moving on shouldn’t bother me, but my heart feels like someone’s squeezing the life out of it. I’m in big trouble.
“Divorced, huh?” Felix wiggles his thick brows. “I might be due for a cut.”
The shock at his words must show on my face because he reaches out and squeezes my arm. “Bad joke. Sorry, Sadie. I’m a total fucking idiot. I don’t need a haircut, and I wouldn’t try to bag the mom of one of Riva’s friends.”
He scrapes a hand over the course hair covering his jaw. “I also shouldn’t use the word bag when it comes to being with a woman. Shit. Please punch me in the face to shut me up.”
“It’s okay, Felix.” I give him a quick hug, hoping to offer the comfort he obviously needs. That we both need at the moment. “You’re not a total idiot. Just a bit of one.”
He hoots in pleasure and lifts me off my feet in a tight hug. “Let’s go rescue my brother. Something tells me he needs it.”
I mentally wrestle the green-eyed monster as I follow Felix to the front of the restaurant. I have no right to feel jealous at the possibility of Ian someday dating for real in Skylark. If this were a thumb war, I’d be losing. But there’s no reason to feel possessive over Ian. He’s given me more in this arrangement than I ever could have imagined, and I’m not just talking about the toe-curling orgasms.
I’d have allowed Riva to work with me even without the fake dating part. She’s a great kid and excellent with the dogs. I hope she’ll want to continue helping even after her dad and I stage our big break up.
But, just like Ian—like almost everyone in my life—there’s a good chance she’ll move on to bigger and better things.
Suddenly Felix stops and turns to face me, grasping both of my arms to stop me from plowing straight into him. “You’re okay, right?”
His words break into my spiral of self-pity. “Totally,” I agree with a smile I hope doesn’t look as fake as it feels. “I’ve had this dress forever. It’s no big deal if the stain doesn’t come out.”
He proceeds to disabuse all stereotypes I have about football players full of ego and swagger when he offers a gentle wink. “I’m not talking about your dress. I’ll buy you a dozen just like it. I’m talking about women like Lillian trying to put the moves on my brother. The two of you are good. Trust me, Ian likes you. He’s different around you, Sadie. Relaxed in a way I haven’t seen in years. To be honest, I don’t know if I’ve ever seen him this relaxed. It’s good for him, and it’s good for my niece. I can guarantee he’s not interested in the moves any thirsty moms in this little town make on him. You’re the only cool drink of water he wants.”
I’m taken aback by Felix Barlowe’s insight into my insecurity and his ability to say precisely the right thing to give me hope. Despite knowing the risks to my heart, I appreciate the reassurance.
“It might be having you here that’s relaxing him,” I suggest. “The two of you are like a sibling stand-up act.”
He runs a hand through his thick hair—which could use a trim—a thoughtful expression crossing his face. “You know what they say about comedians, right? They’re some of the most messed up people you’ll meet. All that funny business is a defense mechanism. Ian and I have the routine mastered. That’s for sure.”
He chucks me on the shoulder. “But you make him happy for real, and my brother deserves a boatload of happiness after too long of not letting himself have much. I get the impression you do, too.”
“I’m glad you came to town, Felix,” I whisper, my throat tightening with emotion.
“Me too, girlie. Now let’s go rescue your man.”
My man . It might not be the whole truth, but I like the idea of it. Way more than I should.