Chapter 24
Twenty-Four
Wynter
The time away is just what I needed. My mom and Lou are thrilled to have us visit, and even offered to babysit, which is how Adrian and I scored a date night. I’ve felt calmer since we’ve been here, and spending our days on the beach has been good for my battered soul.
“Xavier is never going to want to go home,” Adrian says as he drives my mom’s car to the restaurant where he made reservations.
“We need to get him a sandbox in the spring.”
“I was thinking the same thing. Can you imagine the mess he’ll make with that?”
“It’ll be adorable, like everything he does.”
“Yeah, it will.” He glances over at me. “I’m proud of you for not crying when you left Willow.”
“I wanted to wail, but she’s comfortable with my mom.”
“Nia is dying to babysit when we’re ready.”
“We’ll take her up on that sometime soon. As much as I love our babies, it’s nice to get a few minutes to ourselves.”
“For sure, and we need to do that more often now that Willow is taking a bottle once in a while. Not that there’s any substitute for Mommy’s boobies, because there isn’t.”
I snort with laughter. “You’re such a boob man.”
“Guilty as charged, but I’m a Wynter’s boobs man, to be specific.”
“Thank you for clarifying.”
“Not any boobs will do. I’m very particular.”
I reach for his hand and curl my fingers around his. “Thanks for putting up with me this week. I know I was a lot.”
“Nah, you were hurting. I don’t hold that against you.”
“Iris said Taylor gave a eulogy. I can’t believe she could do it. I could barely breathe at Jaden’s funeral, let alone speak.”
“Same for me with Sadie’s. Nia said a few words on my behalf, but there was no way I could’ve done it.”
“You were in shock. What’s my excuse? Jaden was sick for years by the time he died.”
“It’s still shocking when it actually happens.”
“Yeah, I guess. How do you think Taylor is doing overall?”
“Iris said she’s holding up as well as could be expected.”
“I was glad to hear they’re going ahead with the wedding with Taylor’s blessing.” I look over at him. “I was dreading hearing they’d decided to postpone it.”
“I know. Me, too. It’s good news that they’re going ahead, and we’ve got Friendsgiving to look forward to this week as well.”
“Life goes on.”
“That it does.”
We arrive at the oceanfront seafood restaurant my mother and Lou recommended and valet park the car.
“Fancy schmancy,” he says as he ushers me inside with a hand on my lower back.
We’re shown to a table by a window with a view of the beach and the setting sun.
“We received a phone call from your stepfather, Lou,” the hostess says. “He wants you to enjoy all the bells and whistles on him.”
“Oh my gosh, that’s so nice.”
She hands me a note. “He asked me to give you that.”
“Thank you.”
“What does it say?” Adrian asks.
“‘Wynter and Adrian, please enjoy tonight as my treat and know how much I love having kids, big ones and little ones, in my life for the first time. You guys are such a gift to me, and I hope you have the best time tonight. Love, Lou.’”
I’m in tears as I finish.
“Aw,” Adrian says, “that’s so sweet. Look at you… You’ve got a daddy.”
I mop up my tears with the cloth napkin. “So it seems. He’s the best.”
“Sure is.”
“But you chose the restaurant and made the plan, so thank you for bringing me to this beautiful place.”
“I’m glad you like it. I wanted you to have a nice time tonight. I gotta take care of my missus and keep her happy.”
“I’m mostly happy. You know that, right?”
“I do, because I am, too. ‘Mostly happy’ is a good way to put it.”
“Always with someone missing.”
“Right.”
“Do you think we’ll always feel their absence as much as we do now?”
“Maybe. In a way, I sort of hope so. I don’t want to lose Sadie any more than I already have, if that makes sense.”
“It makes all the sense. I feel the same way about Jaden. I want to keep him close even as we move forward with our new life together.”
“I have to think they’d approve of us. Heck, maybe they’re even hanging out together in the afterlife.”
“Wouldn’t that be something?”
“For sure, as long as they aren’t watching us too closely.”
He’s very good at making me laugh, even when we’re talking about things that should make us cry.
“If they were, Jaden would’ve had you killed a long time ago.”
“Sadie would’ve stabbed you. She wasn’t having it with other women ogling her man, and you ogle me a lot.”
“Yikes. I need to be more careful about that.”
“Don’t you dare. Ogle all you want, baby.”
“People who haven’t been through what we have would think we were awful for talking this way.”
“People who haven’t been through what we have shouldn’t express opinions about something they know nothing about—and hopefully never will.”
“Very true. They can fuck off.”
I adore his sexy grin and how it unfolds across his gorgeous face, lighting up his eyes when he’s truly amused like he is now. “I love when you hold back.”
“When do I ever do that?”
“Um, never?” He reaches for my hand across the table. “I’m glad to see you smiling again. It hurts me to see you hurting.”
“I had the wind knocked out of me for a few days there, but I’m better now. Getting away has helped. Iris giving us permission to skip the services helped. But I really hope Taylor comes back to the group.”
“I do, too. And I get why it hit you so hard. It did for me, too. It’s an awful reminder that there’re simply no guarantees ever.”
“I hate that system. I want to overhaul it and find a better way.”
“Let me know how that goes.” He plays with my fingers like he always does, his touch sending a shiver of awareness down my spine.
“You know, I was thinking… Going forward… We don’t need to stay involved in the Wild Widows at the same level we are now.
It might be better for us to be less engrossed in the lives and stories of other widows. ”
“I would so miss not seeing them all every week anymore.”
“We can still see them socially, but we don’t have to remain on the front lines of widow central if it no longer serves our best interests.”
“I suppose that’s true, but I feel the need to continue paying forward what was given so generously to me at a time when I had zero hope that the future could be anything other than grim and depressing.”
“Which is fair, but maybe we dial it back a bit. We don’t have to attend every meeting and hear every terrible tale of loss and grief. I’m not sure it’s a good idea to dwell in that space indefinitely, you know?”
Nodding, I take back my hand to grab a piece of bread. “It’s something to think about, for sure. Just so you know… I think I’d need a twelve-step program to wean myself off regular doses of Iris and Gage and all their wisdom.”
“They’d still be there for us if we aren’t active members of the group. You know that.”
“They say I’m their proudest accomplishment.”
“You were a feral tiger when you first joined,” he says, grinning, “and look at you now.”
“Now I’m a domesticated house cat with two kittens. Meow.”
He fans his face. “You’re making me hot.”
I sputter with laughter. “Oh my God. Relax, will you?”
“I’m on a date with my best girl. I’m not planning to relax for hours and hours.”
Rolling my eyes, I say, “Thanks for the warning.”
“Love you forever, wife.”
“Love you longer cuz I’m so much younger, husband.”
Smiling, he raises his glass in a toast to me. “Well played, love.”
Kinsley
On Tuesday, I meet Luke for lunch in Georgetown, near his office. He has forty-five minutes between patients, so I get to the restaurant early and secure a table for us so we can make the most of every minute.
I’m as nervous as I can recall being since I lost Rory, which makes me feel foolish as a grown woman, a mother and a professional.
My internal narrator has been working overtime as I debated every detail of this outing, from what to wear to how to do my hair to whether I’d put on too much makeup to what time I should leave the house.
I ended up wearing jeans and a cute sweater and wore my hair up in a twist.
By the time I see Luke come through the door, I’m exhausted from the mental energy I’ve expended to get this far.
I wave to him, and when he spots me, his warm smile settles my nerves.
He’s wearing a light blue dress shirt with a navy blue tie and has an ID on a lanyard that he’s tucked into the pocket of his shirt.
Even from a distance, I’m struck by how incredibly handsome he is with tousled dark blond hair and golden brown eyes.
As he makes his way toward me, I notice female heads turning to take in the splendor.
Shut up, Kinsley. Just shut the hell up.
Still smiling, he sits across from me and exhales as if he’s completed a race to get there. “Everything ran late this morning. Naturally, that happens when I have an important lunch to get to.”
Our lunch is important.
You’re shutting up, Kinsley. Remember?
“Well, I’m glad you were able to make it.”
“I was gonna get here one way or the other.”
Do I still have to shut up when he says stuff like that? Yes!
“How was the traffic?” he asks.
“Not terrible, but it’s midday.”
“True. It’s a beast going home every night, but that’s my decompression time between one full-time job and the other. I don’t complain about the traffic.”
As I imagine what his days must be like juggling so many competing demands, my heart goes out to him. “It’s got to be a lot.”
“It is, but the kids are always so happy to see me at the end of the day. They make it all worth it.”
I want to ask who takes care of him while he’s taking care of countless patients and four motherless children, but I’ve been told to shut up, so I hold that thought. For now, anyway.
A waitress comes by with glasses of ice water and menus. “Can I get you anything else to drink?”
“I’ll have unsweetened tea, please.”
“Same,” he says. “Thank you.”
She smiles at him, because she’s only human. He doesn’t notice. “Coming right up.”
“What looks good to you?” he asks as he peruses the menu.
“Probably a salad.”