Chapter 4
PIPER
The trail winds upward through aspens and pines, and I’m grateful for the excuse to breathe hard. At least I can blame the altitude instead of the emotional tornado that’s been spinning in my chest since Felix Barlowe showed up at the cabin last night with a toddler in tow.
A child who isn’t his, as opposed to the one growing inside me.
I pause at a switchback, pressing my hand to my stomach where our baby—his baby—is barely the size of a raspberry.
I’ve been able to blame my mild morning sickness on other things so far.
But the exhaustion has been hitting me like a freight train, which is another reason I want an escape from Skylark.
That and my ex-fiancé’s smug face. Not to mention having to say goodbye to my sweet Max three weeks ago.
Sadie and I adopted him a few months after our mom died.
His silly puppy antics were the only thing that made me smile when my grief felt like it might swallow me whole.
He was the goodest good boy up until the very end, and my childhood home has felt way too quiet without him.
I guess I can also add quitting my job in a moment of spectacular self-destruction to the list of reasons I needed to get away. And being completely, utterly alone for the first time in my life.
Only, I’m not alone. Felix might not be the man I’d choose to have a baby with—okay, clearly some tequila-soaked part of me did choose him that night in Denver—but he’s a bigger mess than I am right now.
Which is…oddly comforting. Maybe it makes me an asshole, but not being the only person whose life is a dumpster fire tamps down the flames a bit.
Between moving to a new team, the sudden guardianship, a series of nanny disasters, and the barely concealed panic that flashes in his gaze every time Ellie makes a noise he can’t interpret, his life is off the rails in a much more visible way than mine. And it has me thinking…
What if I stay up here for a while? I could offer to watch Ellie, which would give me a chance to watch Felix with her for a few weeks. That could help me figure out what to do, right?
At least it might help me know what to expect when I finally tell Felix about our baby. Will he be angry? Freak out? Will he throw money at me like this pregnancy is a problem to solve? Or will he surprise me the way he did this morning, looking at that little girl like she was a real-life unicorn?
The trail levels out at a spot that overlooks Vail Village below, and I stop to catch my breath.
Skylark sits at about 6,000 feet, but the cabin is at closer to 9,000 feet.
Enough of a difference to make me dizzy when I push too hard, which apparently, I just did.
I bend forward, hands on my knees, waiting for my racing pulse to slow.
A branch cracks behind me.
My head snaps, and then I go completely still.
I’m alone in the middle of the woods, about a quarter mile from the cabin.
It could be a bear or a mountain lion. Please not a mountain lion.
First a possible murderer last night, now a potential mauling by a wild animal?
The universe really has it out for me at the moment.
“You okay, Hart?”
I spin around so fast, the world tilts sideways. Felix appears around a bend in the trail, Ellie bouncing happily in a hiking backpack on his shoulders, her chubby hands gripping his hair like reins.
“Jesus, Felix.” Relief floods through me, followed by a wave of dizziness that makes the trees blur together, the ground shift, and—
The next thing I know, I’m cradled against something warm and solid, moving through dappled sunlight. Felix’s soap—which I guarantee has a name like One-Eyed Snake Swagger or Hot Boy Summer—fills my lungs with each breath.
“Did I just—”
“Scare the living sh—sugar out of me again by fainting? Yeah.” His voice rumbles through his chest where my cheek is pressed. “I give you an eight out of ten for wilderness drama.”
“Put me down.” I try to sound commanding, but it comes out breathy.
“Not a chance.”
“I can walk, Felix.”
“Clearly you can’t, since you just face-planted into the dirt.”
“Pretty sure it was more of a graceful swoon.”
“You dropped like a sack of potatoes. Lucky for you, I’ve got good hands.”
I’m acutely aware of those hands right now. One is under my knees while the other supports my back. “What about Ellie?”
“She’s loving life.”
A delighted giggle from behind his head confirms this. I crane my neck to see her grinning at me, those honey-hued curls bouncing with each step.
“This is ridiculous. You can’t carry us both when—”
“Shut it, Hart. You weigh about as much as my gym bag.” He adjusts his grip, pulling me closer to his chest. “Less, probably.”
“Your gym bag wouldn’t appreciate being manhandled down a mountain either.”
“You fainted.”
The concern in his deep voice makes my chest tight. “I’m fine,” I whisper against his shirt. “The altitude got me for a minute.”
He makes a rumbly sound low in his throat. “What did you have for breakfast?”
“Blueberries.” And only a few. My stomach can’t handle a big breakfast these days.
That elicits a snort. “The perfect fuel for a mountain hike at nine thousand feet.”
He’s moving fast, although oddly I don’t feel jostled.
Just…safe and held. I close my eyes and sink into the feeling because it’s kind of nice.
More than kind of if I’m being honest. We’re approaching the cabin now, a quarter mile covered in what feels like seconds in his arms. For a guy who thinks he needs to work on getting in shape for training camp, he’s not even breathing hard.
“I can walk from here,” I protest as he navigates the porch steps.
“Humor me.”
He deposits me on the massive leather sectional in the great room with surprising gentleness, then swings Ellie down from the backpack. She immediately crawls up next to me, patting my cheek with concerned little fingers.
“Pi ’kay?” she asks softly.
My heart melts. “I’m okay, sweetheart.”
Felix disappears into the kitchen and returns with a glass of water and a protein bar. “Drink. Eat. Don’t argue.”
I take the water and protein bar while Ellie snuggles into my side. Felix hovers like he’s not sure what to do with his hands now that he’s not carrying me.
“I have a proposition,” I say, then immediately regret my word choice when his eyebrows shoot up. “Not that kind of proposition, you jacka—lope.”
“Lope, lope,” Ellie repeats in her sing-song voice.
“Jackalope?” Felix’s wide mouth curves up at one end. “That’s as good as fudge.”
“Sorry I scared the sugar out of you.” I offer up a world-class eye roll even as I’m fighting my own smile.
“Whatever. You were about to proposition me,” he says, taking a seat in the overstuffed chair next to the sofa. Ellie babbles something about butterflies, oblivious to the tension suddenly crackling between us.
I clear my throat. “I want to be your nanny.”
Felix blinks. “Come again?”
“I can stay here with you for the month, or until your house is ready.”
“What about your job?”
“Yeah, about that.” I take a quick sip of water before wiping the back of my hand across my lips. Those butterflies Ellie’s babbling about take up residence in my stomach when Felix’s intense gaze holds on my mouth. “I actually quit my job at the hospital.”
“Why?”
“I needed a break,” I say, then quickly continue, “And you need someone you can trust with Ellie who won’t end up naked in your bed.”
Felix shifts his weight as if he’s reacting to the image that popped up in his mind at my words, and I drain the rest of my water. “Suffice to say, I’d like to be somewhere that isn’t Skylark right now.”
He studies me with those impossibly blue eyes, and I can see him working through what this might mean for both of us. “What about Max? I assume you’ll want to pick him up from Sadie. I can’t believe he isn’t here—”
“Max died a few weeks ago.” The tears come before I can stop them. Stupid hormones. “We came home from a short walk, and he laid down on his bed and then he was gone.”
“Piper...” His voice goes soft in a way that makes the tears fall faster.
I bite down on the inside of my cheek and draw in a deep breath. “I know it’s stupid to cry about losing my old dog when you and Ellie are dealing with—”
“It’s not stupid.” He sits forward, close enough that our knees almost touch. “Max was your boy.”
“My best boy,” I whisper. “But I didn’t deserve him.
” The admission slips out before I can stop it.
“I’m glad I got to be with him in the end, but I should have taken him with me when I moved after college.
Bradley didn’t like dogs, and Sadie was so good with him.
But I should have been a better dog mom. ”
“Pi, feel bettr,” Ellie says as she swipes at my cheeks with her chubby hands. “No cry.”
I take her face in my hands and kiss her on the tip of the nose. “You’re right, Ellie Bean. No more crying.”
She grins. “Happy Pi.”
I force my gaze back to Felix and flash a tight smile, embarrassed by my display of emotion.
“You know what? Forget it. This was a stupid idea. You don’t need me, and I should go back and face my life instead of hiding out.
” I start to stand, but Felix catches my hand.
His calloused fingers feel warm in a way that makes me want to climb into his lap and curl into his broad chest again.
I seriously need to get out of here.
“Stay.”
“Felix—”
“The truth is, you’d be saving my ass, Piper.” He runs a hand through his hair, which is sticking up at adorably odd angles thanks to Ellie. “Tyler is a fu—fudging drill sergeant, and I can’t watch Ellie and train properly. I need…someone. And she already loves you.”
As if on cue, Ellie burrows into my lap, her head resting against my chest like she belongs there, which is exactly how I felt with Felix’s arms around me. And exactly why this was a terrible idea on my part.
“One month. That’s all I’ve got.” More accurately, it’s all I’ve got until I’m unlikely to be able to hide my pregnancy from him any longer. Of course, I’m planning to tell him sooner than later. Just…not yet.
“One month.” He nods, then that dangerous smirk appears. “Think you can keep your hands off me that long?”
“Do I get a bonus if I manage it?”
He laughs. “You might get a bonus if you don’t.”
“I hate you.”
“No, you don’t.”
He’s right, and that’s the problem. I don’t hate Felix Barlowe.
I might actually like him, which is a thousand times worse.
Because in seven months, I’m going to have his baby, and he’s made it crystal clear he doesn’t want kids.
Even the one who I watch climb off of my lap and into his like she belongs there.
“This is only about Ellie,” I say, needing to establish some boundaries before I do something stupid. Like tell him the truth. Like kiss him again. Like fall for him when I know how that story ends.
“Yep.” He nods, then lifts Ellie above his head like she’s an airplane.
The toddler lets out a delighted squeal that makes me wince slightly.
Felix, who doesn’t seem to miss a thing where I’m concerned, chuckles and swoops her back and forth, making her shriek even more.
“Welcome to the cabin of chaos, Hart. Hope you’re ready for it. ”
I’m not. Not even close. But as Ellie dissolves into fits of giggles, and I try not to imagine Felix holding our child in those strong arms, I realize I’m already in too deep to back out now.
God help me, what have I gotten myself into?