Chapter 16 Piper
PIPER
I’ve been sitting in my Jeep in the parking lot behind Cover to Cover Bookstore for twenty minutes, trying to psych myself up to go in and face my friends.
Well, really, they’re Sadie’s friends. Although the longer I’m back in Skylark, the more this group—the five other women who make up the book club, along with Sadie—feel like my friends, too.
There’s Iris Dixon, who, after a short-lived stint as Skylark’s mayor, began working for her fiancé’s family foundation; local librarian Taylor Maxwell; sassy and brassy marketing expert Avah Harris; single mom and flower farmer Molly McAllister; and Sloane Winslow, Cover to Cover’s owner and the one who brought the book club members together in the first place.
Out of all the women, I feel closest to Molly. She’s close to my age and also had a habit of letting people take care of her and not making her own decisions. Until recently, when she agreed to volunteer for Sloane’s bucket list challenge.
I’m not sure how Sloane knew this group of women would click when she invited them to join the Cool Girls Book Club.
But shortly after they started meeting last spring, she was diagnosed with cancer—acute lymphocytic leukemia.
She still doesn’t like to talk much about it.
And although she seems to be doing well now, her prognosis last spring was questionable.
She got the idea for the bucket list challenge after the group read a part self-improvement, part-memoir book called The Year of Losing It.
Sloane is determined to have the author visit the group as a guest, but Kristen Quinn hasn’t responded to any of the messages members of the group have sent her.
And since I started following her online, I’ve noticed that her more recent feed seems to be recycled posts or faceless quotes.
Either way, her book about spending a year doing things that scared her in order to embrace life and lose fear resonated deeply with Sloane.
The bucket list is what initially brought my sister and Ian together. She decided she wanted a fake boyfriend to bring to my wedding to Bradley. And, unbeknownst to me, Sadie also had a mission to lose her V-card.
Yep, in addition to robbing my sister of her dream of going to vet school, our mother’s death and having to come home and raise me also threw a huge wrench in her dating life. So huge that it wasn’t until Ian Barlowe that she popped the old cherry. But it worked out in the end.
In fact, things have worked out for every member of the group who’s taken the challenge. And I’m so grateful they added me to their cool-girl fold when I moved back.
Oh, sure, I have high school friends still in town. In fact, I’m attending the wedding of my former bestie in a couple of weeks. But somehow, I don’t fit with who I used to be.
And I’m not sure of who I want to become.
My phone dings with an incoming text. It’s from Avah.
Avah: We think you’re being held captive.
Avah and I both have strong opinions, and we aren’t afraid to share them. I think we also both use humor and sarcasm as defense mechanisms, but neither of us is likely to admit that out loud.
Avah: Sloane refuses to begin discussing the book until every one of us is present.
Me: Not sure I’m going to make it. Traffic coming down Floyd Hill. And I didn’t finish the book.
My phone rings a minute later—Avah again.
“It’s not a big deal.”
“Of course not. Also, you’d make a terrible criminal. The window in the bookstore’s meeting room looks out to the parking lot.”
I glance up and see Sadie and Molly waving at me. Avah, cell phone pressed to her ear, gives me the finger.
“Okay, I’m coming,” I tell her with a sigh. Clearly I’m distracted if I didn’t realize they could see me sitting here.
I disconnect and slap a smile on my face as I grab the container of brownies I bought at a bakery on my way out of Vail. These ladies already know about the baby. I called an emergency book club meeting when I couldn’t stop freaking out after I found out.
I still haven’t told any of my high school or college friends, which says something I prefer not to examine about the state of those relationships.
The familiar bookstore smell greets me as the bells above the door chime. It’s a mix of paper, coffee, and whatever candle Sloane has burning today. Lavender, I think.
I wave to the woman at the register and head toward the back, Molly immediately bouncing up to hug me as I enter the meeting room. “You’re here. How was the cabin?”
“Eventful,” I murmur.
Sadie breathes out a soft laugh. “That’s one way to put it.”
I shoot her a look and place the brownies on the table that’s already covered with snacks.
“Tell me these are from Sweet Surrender,” Iris says, immediately reaching for one.
“Only the best for the cool girls.” I manage to hold my smile in place and sink into the empty chair, trying to calm my nerves.
“Now that we’re all here,” Sloane says, settling into her usual spot and pulling out the book we’re supposed to have read, “let’s talk about this month’s selection. Overall impressions?”
“I loved it,” Taylor says. “The way the author wove the true crime elements with the fictional narrative was masterful.”
“I thought the ending was predictable,” Avah counters. “I knew who the killer was by chapter three.”
“Not everyone did,” Molly says mildly. “I was genuinely surprised.”
“That’s because you were too busy hoping the detective and the witness would get together,” Avah points out.
Molly grins. “There was undeniable chemistry.”
“Barely,” Avah scoffs. “Like two sentences of chemistry.”
“Sometimes that’s enough to start,” Iris says with a grin, and everyone laughs.
I try to focus on the conversation, but my mind keeps drifting to Felix and Ellie, who are arriving later this afternoon. He texted an hour ago that they were almost packed up. My house—my empty, too-quiet-without-Max house—is about to become a lot less empty.
I don’t know if I’m ready for that. Or any of this, if I’m being totally honest.
“Piper?” Sloane’s voice breaks through my thoughts. “You with us?”
“Sorry. What?”
“It’s okay that you didn’t get through the whole thing,” she says gently, as if she can sense my emotional upheaval. If only it involved something as simple as an unfinished book.
“I meant to,” I admit. “I got about halfway before everything kind of exploded.”
“Exploded how?” Iris asks, leaning forward with interest.
“You aren’t talking about your newly returned ex, right?” Avah eyes me over the rim of her coffee mug. “You can’t give a douche canoe that kind of power over you.”
This is it. The moment I’ve been dreading and needing in equal measure.
“No.” I shake my head as Sadie reaches out from her seat next to me to squeeze my arm. “This isn’t about Bradley. But before we get into that…” I take a deep breath. “I want to volunteer for the bucket list challenge.”
“Yaasss, queen.” Sloane applauds, then glances at Avah. “Your turn is coming.”
Avah scrunches up her nose. “Maybe I’m in line behind you.”
“You can’t rush the cancer patient,” Sloane says sweetly.
“Well played,” Avah says with a smirk. “Again.”
“Thank you.” Sloane’s grin is unapologetic. “Back to our newest member and latest bucket list volunteer.”
“Victim,” Avah mutters under a fake cough, making some of the tension inside me ease.
Molly pops a bite of brownie into her mouth. “What do you want to do, Pip?”
“I want to learn to stand on my own two feet.” The words come out steadier than I expected.
“I want to stop relying on other people to take care of me, or to make things easy for me. I want to figure out who I am when I’m not a little sister or an ex-fiancée or someone’s.
..” I trail off, doing my damndest to avoid eye contact.
“Someone’s what?” Taylor asks gently.
I glance at Sadie, who gives me an encouraging nod. I need her support right now.
“Someone’s baby mama,” I finish. It feels like my throat is coated in sawdust, but I force myself to continue. “Which you already know. What you don’t know…is who the father is.”
The room goes completely quiet for a few long seconds.
“You said it was a one-night stand,” Avah says slowly. “Some random dude from a bar.”
“I might have left out some key details. Like the fact that I do know his name and–”
“Who is the father of your baby?” Iris asks slowly.
“Felix Barlowe.”
The silence that follows is even louder than before.
“Somebody say something,” I insist, squeezing the arms of my chair so hard it’s almost painful.
“Ian’s brother?” Taylor’s voice comes out as almost a squeak.
Avah elbows her. “Do we know any other Felix Barlowes?”
Taylor shakes her head. “But I thought you hated Felix.”
“I don’t exactly hate him,” I protest.
“You called him an insufferable meathead when he was here at Christmas,” Molly reminds me.
“He was,” I agree weakly. “We’ve always been like oil and water. We don’t mix.”
“Except you apparently mixed just fine,” Iris points out. “One time.”
“Twice, actually,” I admit before I can stop myself.
The room erupts.
“Twice?”
“When was the second time?”
“Oh my God!”
“Can we please rewind the past thirty seconds?” I plead, covering my face with my hands.
“Not a chance.” Molly leans back in her chair with a small smile. “This is way better than a book discussion. Does Felix know about the baby?”
“As of yesterday morning, yes.” I release the chair and reach for a brownie, needing something to do. “He’s been at the cabin with me, which was a coincidence.”
“Wink, wink,” Avah says.
“It’s true.”
Sloane holds up a hand. “Let’s stay focused. Felix wants to be involved?”
I nod but don’t look at Sadie again. There’s no point in explaining that I’m not sure how he wants to be involved until he and I work out that part.
“That’s good, right?” Taylor asks carefully.
“I think so. I hope so.” I swallow the bite of brownie, grateful when my stomach doesn’t immediately rebel. “But he also offered me money to keep being his nanny, and it felt like—”