Chapter 16 Piper #2
“Whoa, there.” Molly holds up a hand. “His nanny? Why does Felix need a nanny?”
“He’s helping some friends out,” Sadie offers.
I nod. “Taking care of their two-year-old daughter until...well…while his help is needed.”
Avah barks out a laugh. “What kind of parents would ask Felix Barlowe to watch their kid?” she asks skeptically. “He’s an immature showboat, and one of the league’s biggest players.”
“He’s not a showboat,” I snap, surprising myself with how defensive I sound. “He’s actually really good with her. Patient and gentle and…”
“Oh wow,” Molly murmurs. “You don’t hate him. You like him.”
“I don’t not like him,” I hedge.
“Which isn’t a ringing endorsement for the father of your child,” Iris points out.
I set down the brownie. “I don’t know what I feel.
But he makes me laugh. I know he’s thoughtful.
” Warmth spreads through my chest. “He researched high-altitude nutrition and ordered special meals because I was barely eating. I know he stress-bakes sourdough at five in the morning. He looks at the little girl he’s caring for like she hung the moon, even though he’s convinced he’s going to fail her.
” I offer a weak smile. “And I know that when he touches me, I forget every reason this is a bad idea.”
“Oh,” Molly breathes.
“He’s also not a player,” Sadie adds. “Felix is complicated. But he’s not the guy the world thinks he is.”
The room is quiet for a moment. Avah taps one manicured finger on the table. “You know how I always say hate sex is the hottest kind?”
“Um…yeah?” I ask, wondering where she’s going with this.
“I’m rethinking that.” She takes a sip of her drink. “Hate sex isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, so if this is—”
“It’s not hate sex,” I insist. “Like I said, we don’t hate each other. We’re just...we’re like fire and gasoline. Sparks fly.”
“That’s one way to describe it,” Sadie murmurs.
“What’s the plan for standing on your own two feet?” Taylor asks, getting us back on track. “What does that look like for you?”
“I need a new job,” I say firmly, and my sister gives me a nod of encouragement.
“Would you go back to the hospital?” Iris asks.
“Maybe.” I cringe slightly. “If I didn’t totally burn that bridge. But I don’t think I want to go back to the NICU.” The admission feels like a weight lifting. “I loved it, but I need something different. Something that doesn’t remind me of...before.”
“There are always families looking for private nurses,” Molly suggests. “That would give you some flexibility in your schedule.”
“I’m sure a local private practice would love to have you,” Taylor adds.
“Nurses are in high demand,” Iris assures me. “We can all ask around. Discreetly until you decide exactly what you want.”
“That would be amazing,” I say, feeling tears prick at my eyes. Damn hormones. “Thank you.”
“That’s what friends are for,” Sloane says gently. Then she studies me more closely. “How’s the morning sickness?”
“It’s been better today, actually. I think the altitude was making it worse.” I take another bite of brownie. “Carbs help the most. Something about Felix’s sourdough settles my stomach in a way nothing else does.”
Molly sighs. “A man who looks like Felix Barlowe and bakes bread? No wonder you don’t hate him.”
“It’s his stress relief.” That warm feeling in my chest spreads through the rest of my body as I think about Felix in the kitchen. “He’s really good at it.”
“Okay, you’re definitely in love,” Avah says with a laugh.
“I’m definitely no—” I start, then stop. Am I in love with him? Oh, crap. I might be. Maybe I have been since that night in Denver. Or since he carried me down the mountain. Or since I watched him read the same story to Ellie for the third time because she wanted “mo bunny.”
“Oh, Pip,” Sadie whispers, reading my mind as always.
“That’s why I need this challenge.” I dash a hand across my cheeks. “I can’t keep letting people make decisions for me. It’s tempting to accept whatever Felix is willing to give me. But I need to know I can stand on my own.”
“So the challenge is getting a job?” Iris asks, studying me intently.
“Partly,” I admit. “But a job that means something to me. One that I can keep doing once the baby comes.” I take a breath. “I need to prove to myself that I can do this. That I’m not just jumping from one person taking care of me to another.”
“We’ll help however we can,” Sloane promises, and everyone nods in agreement.
Which I appreciate, even though it would also mean letting them take care of me, which kind of defeats the purpose of my bucket list goal.
“Enough about me,” I say, looking at Sloane. “How are you doing? Are you officially finished with treatments?”
Something flickers across her face—a mix of relief and exhaustion—but she smiles. “Yeah, mostly. It’s all good.”
“Of course it is,” Taylor says, and everyone chimes in with our support.
“Fuck cancer,” Sloane agrees. “Now can we talk more about the book? I have a rep to protect as a bookstore owner.”
We circle back to discuss the thriller more thoroughly.
Sadie loved the true-crime media commentary, Avah thought the pacing was off, Molly appreciated the complex female protagonist, and Taylor wished there was more romance.
Iris defends her book choice, while I mostly stay quiet, still processing everything.
By the time the meeting winds down, it’s after six. We help clean up, packing leftover snacks for Molly to bring home to her twins and Chase. As we head to the parking lot, Avah falls into step beside me.
“Hey,” she says quietly. “Can I give you some advice?”
“Sure.”
“I meant it when I said hate sex isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Or even bordering on angry sex.” She pauses, her expression unusually serious. “Neither is being with someone who could hurt you.”
“I’m not going to let him break my—”
“I’m not talking about your heart,” she interrupts. “Though that too. I’m just...be careful, okay? Make sure you’re not just seeing what you want to see.”
I stop walking, studying her face in the golden hour parking lot light. “Avah, is everything okay with you and Jonathan?”
Her expression shutters immediately, and the bright smile returns. “Everything’s peachy keen. We’re still planning to elope in August and then go on the most epic beach honeymoon.”
I don’t believe her. There’s something in her eyes—not exactly fear, but I can’t quite identify the emotion. I do know it doesn’t match her words.
“If you ever need—”
“This isn’t about me, Pip. Really.” She pulls me into a quick hug. “Focus on yourself and that baby. And then Felix. Figure out what you want, not what you think you should want.”
Before I can press further, she’s gone, heading to her car with a wave.
I stand there for a moment, confused and concerned. But then my sister appears beside me, linking her arm through mine.
“You okay?” she asks.
“Yeah,” I say, even though I’m not entirely sure. “Just processing.”
“Ian’s smoking ribs. Want to come over?”
I shake my head. “Thanks, but I need to get home. Felix texted. He and Ellie are at the house.”
Sadie squeezes my arm. “Call me if you need anything. I mean it.”
“I know. Thank you.”
I hug her tight, then make my way to my Jeep. The drive home takes less than ten minutes. My house sits on a quiet street, and I pull into the driveway and sit for a moment.
Max’s absence hits me all over again—the way he’d bark when I pulled up and meet me at the door with his whole body wiggling.
The house has felt so empty without him. It’s empty and sad and like a place I’m just passing through.
But tonight, it isn’t empty. Tonight, Felix Barlowe and little Ellie are here. I don’t know what happens next, or if Felix and I can figure out how to be parents together. Heck, I don’t know if I can really stand on my own while letting him help me, or if I’m setting myself up for heartbreak.
But I do know one thing. I’m glad I won’t be alone tonight. More importantly, I’m glad I’ll be with Felix.