38. Nerissa
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
Nerissa
O n Saturday morning I wake up before the sun.
The quiet darkness of morning, just before dawn, is my favorite time of day. I’ve been missing it because I’ve been so tired. But my body woke me up this morning and now I am alert and rested.
But I still haven’t made my choice.
I haven’t looked at the dress again, I haven’t even checked my phone.
I have no idea what I am going to do.
Quietly, alone with my thoughts I make a cup of tea and think about everything that’s happened.
My most important question is - now that I am going to be a mother - how does it change what I want from life?
I know the answer, but I keep asking anyway, just in case.
I sit at my window sipping my tea with my eyes on the sky, waiting for the warm glow of sunrise.
I don’t feel him here. I haven’t felt him around for three days now. Since the dress was delivered. The dress that is hanging on the back of the bathroom door.
It’s so quiet and peaceful.
My heart might even already know.
I haven’t taken off the ring. It’s still sparkling on my finger and catching my eye.
A ray of sunlight pierces through soft gray morning sky.
The smile that spreads across my lips is genuine and it fills me with happiness. I set my empty teacup down on my bedside table.
Picking up my phone I message Hayley.
Me: I don’t care what you are doing right now - I am calling a friend emergency, and I need you to come over right now.
If I am going to get married today. I want my best friend there with me.
And that means that I need to tell her everything - including the fact that I’m pregnant which I haven’t shared with anyone yet.
I’ve been so alone these past few days, and I don’t need to. I am surrounded by love. Some of it crazy, stupid, wild love - but it’s still love.
I will give him a chance.
Because my heart wants to. All the fear I’ve had, has been the fear of losing him and regretting it for the rest of my life. I don’t want regrets. All I want is him.
Hayley arrives in an array of worry and chaos, demanding to know what is going on.
I explain everything - then I have to explain again because it sounds unreal.
Through her disbelief and shock - she gets to a point where she grabs me in the tightest hug and screams in delight.
“I’m going to be an aunt.”
“Well, you are going to be an aunt - but right now I need you to be a make-up artist and hairdresser.”
“You’re lucky I’m so good at this. Because if it was left to you, I doubt you would’ve even bothered to put mascara on.” She laughs, grabbing her make up case out of her handbag.
We park at the beach at five minutes past ten and I am acutely aware of the fact that I’m late.
Will he still be there?
That’s stupid. Of course, he will.
Hayley tugs my rickety door open, she was driving because there was no way I could get into the driver’s seat with so many layers around my legs. She holds her hand out to me and lifts me from the seat, careful not to dirty or damage the dress.
“Wow.” She says for the hundredth time.
“There’s no time, we’ve got to go.” I push her forward, slamming the car door behind myself.
Lifting the front of the dress I run barefoot onto the white sand.
He’s going to be there. Just over this dune. Right at the edge of the water.
My heart is beating so fast I’m dizzy with excitement. I can’t believe this is happening.
We’re going to be married. I will be a wife.
“I see them.” Hayley says, as relieved as I am.
And then I see them too.
Tuomo is looking right at me as I step onto the top of the sand dune.
My heart explodes in my chest, like one hundred fireworks all set off at once.
I walk down the dune, onto a white carpet that leads to him.
He looks incredible.
Adrenaline floods me as I walk past his brothers and his sister. I can’t stop smiling.
My decision was so much easier than I thought it would be.
I always knew I was going to marry him, I was just fighting against my logic. But I love him far too much to let him go.
“Little bird.” His voice is low, his eyes on me I feel as though I could lose myself in his stare.
“Tuomo.” I whisper, standing beneath a high arch way of white flowers.
We stare at each, and the priest speaks.
I feel as though I’m in a dream.
Tuomo reaches out and takes my hand, his touch sending sparks through my entire body.
The priest tells a story of love, lost and found, and destinies that are intertwined.
The universe chose for us to be together. It was always going to end this way.
Even though this ending is only just the beginning.
“I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss your bride.”
Tuomo doesn’t waste a moment. He steps forward, wraps me in his arms and kisses me. I forget the rest of the world exists.
Melting against him all I feel is the blissful pleasure of being in his arms.
He leans back, grinning down at me, the love in his eyes is making his face glow in a way I’ve never seen before. “I can’t even describe to you how happy I am, little bird.” He whispers against my cheek.
“I’m sorry I made you wait.” I whisper back.
He shakes his head. “No, I am sorry, for everything. There are so many promises to make to you, but for now - all you need to know is that I love you more than life itself.”
He kisses me again and his brothers taunt him, telling him to get a room.
Tuomo chuckles, his lips still pressed against mine.
He takes my hand, and we walk back down the white carpet towards a limousine, waiting just for us while everyone throws white petals around us. Tuomo holds the door open, and I climb inside.
“Where are we going?” I ask.
“On an adventure.” He says, pulling me right up against his side.
The driver takes us all the way to the airport where a private jet is waiting for us. Tuomo lifts me in his arms and carries me onto the plane.
We strap in for take-off, but as soon as we are in the air he unclips me and lifts me to my feet again.
He carries me into what looks like a honeymoon’s suite of an expensive hotel.
He grins and sets me down on the ground to take in the exquisite surroundings.
Stepping close to me he brushes his hand across my cheek, and I lean my face into his touch.
“I’ve missed you.” He says, low and husky.
I stand up on my tiptoes and kiss him, with my hands around the back of his neck I pull him against my mouth. I want to taste him. I want every inch of his body against mine.
His hands run down my back, unzipping my wedding dress. He slides the straps off my shoulders and the heavy fabric falls to the floor around my feet.
“I didn’t choose this.” He says with shock, discovering that I am wearing white lace lingerie beneath it.
“You are not the only one who knows how to surprise the person they love.” I grin.
A low growl rumbles through his chest as he pushes me onto the bed and begin tugging off his own clothes as he stands there admiring me.
I bite my lip, I’m impatient.
He kneels on the edge of the bed and grabs my ankles, tugging me closer to him. I giggle with excitement, and he glares at me with heat in his eyes.
“Spread your legs. Wide.” He commands.
I do as he says, and he drops low, pushing his face between my thighs he grabs the white lace of my underwear and rips it from my body. Then he licks his warm wet tongue over my pussy.
I gasp, tilting my head back and arching my hips up towards him.
My body is burning with feverish need. Knotting my fingers in his hair I push his face against my pussy, rocking myself over his mouth.
He groans with pleasure his hands locked over my thighs, pulling them wider apart as I ride his face until I come with his tongue deep inside me, my lips screaming his name.
He sits up, crawling over me and pinning me against the bed with his body.
“You’ve had your pleasure, little bird. Now it is my turn.” He growls, shoving my legs wide and forcing them open with his hips. He grabs my wrists and pins them above my head with one hand as his other hand explores my body, tearing the lace from my skin as he goes.
His cock is rock hard, pressed up against my pussy.
“I want you to fuck me.” I plead.
“It’s not about what you want anymore. It’s about what I want.” He chuckles with dark mischief.
“Please.” I beg him again, lifting my hips, rubbing myself against his cock.
He pushes my hips back down against the bed.
His eyes darken and the smile that touches his lips makes me shiver with pleasure.
He thrusts his cock inside me, slamming himself deep into my pussy. I scream as he fills me up and spreads me open.
Then he slides out and does it again.
The pleasure is making me dizzy and wild with need.
He locks his hand over my mouth, using his body to hold me down he fucks me harder than he has ever fucked me before. His cock is pounding into me and my pussy is only begging for more of him, each time he buries himself in me I feel like I am going to explode, but then he pulls out and I’m desperate to have him back.
Tuomo uses my body for his own pleasure, but he knows what he’s doing. He knows how to play me as though I was an instrument, and he was the artist.
He pushes me to the edge of coming, then drags me back and makes me wait while he builds the tension all over again.
Soon, though, I can’t take it anymore.
My entire body is shaking when he leans close to my ear and whispers, “It’s almost time, little bird.” His words are like fuel on my fire.
His cock penetrates deep inside me and my pussy locks over him.
Wave after wave of pleasure pulse through me and he moans, deep and loud as he explodes inside me at the same time.
Tuomo releases his grip on my wrists, and I tickle my fingertips over his back.
He is still inside me, lying on top of me as we both breathe heavily.
He lifts his head to look into my eyes.
“In my wildest imagination, in all of my dreams, there could never be a more perfect wife. You are everything, little bird. You are my entire world.”