Chapter 15 Somewhere in Nowhere
Somewhere in Nowhere
My mind circles back to PJ and what it would be like to spend more time with him.
I want to go on a real date together. Maybe out to dinner at a nice sit-down restaurant that has white tablecloths and crisp, linen napkins.
Italian food might be a good choice. Something romantic.
We could share popcorn at the movies, take a walk hand in hand, or split a milkshake with two straws.
When it’s time to say goodbye, he will lean forward, look deep into my brown eyes with his blue eyes, and put his lips on mine.
He will kiss me softly first, then more passionately, and it will be pure bliss.
I will put my tongue in his mouth, and his tongue will meet mine.
I’ve kissed four girls before, but I’ve never kissed a boy.
How will it be different? I imagine the few whiskers on PJ’s chin tickling my face as he kisses me.
The fantasy sends a shiver through my spine.
I slip my hand into my boxers and wonder about what happens after kissing.
Iwake to knocking at my bedroom door. I open one eye to peer at the clock. It’s noon. Whoa! I slept the whole morning away.
“Come in,” I say.
The door cracks open, and Mom peeks her head in.
“Simon, your friends are here.”
“What? Oh, no! I forgot to set the alarms last night. Tell them I will be right out and that I’m sorry.”
I jump out of bed, rummage on the floor for yesterday’s boxers, and slide them on.
The front is stiff from the wetness that soaked them last night.
Yuck! Oh well, what can you do? Now I understand why people say teenage boys are gross—we really are.
I put the rest of my clothes through a sniff test and finish off the outfit with a baseball cap before heading out to the living room.
Mom is holding court with Mags and Neel.
“Well, look who decided to get up,” Mom says.
“I’m sorry, guys. I knew you were coming over at noon, but I forgot to set my alarms. Honestly, I didn’t know I could sleep till noon anymore.”
Mags rolls her eyes.
“It’s fine. Your mom was filling us in on the return of movie night. Avengers: Infinity War and Endgame again? Really, Simon? How many times are you planning on watching those movies? Never mind, don’t answer that. Are you ready to go?”
“I am,” I say with my special smirk reserved for Mags. “Mom, we’re taking the Metro downtown to walk around Georgetown for the afternoon. We also might go to the movies or bowling this evening.”
“Okay, have a nice time. It’s the first Saturday of the month, so Carole is working. I might go into work as well.”
“Mom, don’t go to the lab. It’s the weekend. Go shopping or read a book,” I plead.
She shakes her head and explains that if she works today, she might not have to work late during the week.
It’s hard to argue with that, so I grab my wallet and keys and head out the door with Neel and Mags in tow.
Mom rushes over before I leave and presses a crisp twenty-dollar bill in my hand.
She kisses me on the cheek and tells us again to have a good time.
“Neel,” she calls after us, “be sure to thank your mother for the homemade samosas. That was so thoughtful of her. I’m going to take them with me to work and have them for dinner. My coworkers will be so jealous!”
We get in Neel’s parents’ car and head to the Metro station.
Mags climbs in the back, and I take the passenger seat.
It’s weird to get in from the passenger side door.
I’m always the one driving the three of us.
This is a rare treat for Neel to drive; his parents almost never let him take the car.
But they agreed for today, so long as he came straight to my apartment and didn’t take the car into the city. I glare at Neel.
“What? What did I do?” he says, finally noticing.
Mags leans forward and gives him a dirty look too. She and I appear to be on the same page.
“Why are you two shooting daggers at me? What could I have possibly done? I’ve barely even spoken.”
“Samosas, Neel, really?” Mags says. “You bring samosas to Simon’s mom, but you don’t bring us any?”
Neel sighs, leans over, and opens the glove compartment. Inside is a small, grease-stained paper bag.
“I pulled three out of the batch and saved them for us. My mom specifically said she made these for Lindsey and Carole, not us, but I know you two.”
He tosses the bag to Mags. She ruffles Neel’s hair, and I slap him on the thigh.
“You’re the best, buddy,” Mags moans, taking a bite of her samosa, as crumbs drop down the front of her shirt.
She tosses the bag to me. I hand one to Neel and bite into the one I keep for myself.
It’s spicy, greasy, and tastes like sunshine.
Just like you would expect potatoes wrapped in pastry to taste.
“If truth be told, this is why I am friends with the two of you—your parents’ cooking,” I say. “There, I said it. The truth is out in the open, and I’m not ashamed to admit it.”
“What makes you think this is news to us?” Neel says.
He turns up the volume on the car stereo and bobs his head to the pulsing beat. Mags joins in, and they are as happy as can be. The music hurts my ears as my thoughts drift off to PJ. I wonder what he is doing today.
We walk around Georgetown, shop, eat, and walk some more.
I buy a book from an indie bookstore. Mags picks up a new hair dye to try, and Neel finds a funky top hat he falls in love with.
We eat cheap falafel sandwiches for lunch and sugary snow cones for dessert.
We walk along the river and talk about everything.
Everything, that is, except my coming out.
I don’t understand why I keep clamming up on the subject when I have been on such a roll recently on what I’ve come to call my coming out tour.
I know in my heart Neel won’t care, but I am still scared to tell him.
Whenever I almost say the words, the alien wakes and attempts to claw its way out of my stomach.
Mags keeps elbowing me. I know she thinks I should get it over with, but I ignore her.
The sun is getting low as we try to figure out what to do next. We conclude that after paying for our return Metro fare, we’ll only have nine dollars and change left between the three of us. A movie or bowling is out of the question. So, we walk to the Metro and catch the next train home.
Back in Rockville, we trade Neel’s car for Tom, and I drive us out to the closest Waffle House we can locate on the GPS. It’s in the middle of nowhere. I have never ventured in this direction before, and it feels like we’ve been driving forever.
“Are we there yet?” Neels repeats on a loop.
The parking lot is empty when we arrive at Waffle House. In fact, the whole area is eerily quiet, and there is not much around other than a gas station and a 7-Eleven.
“Where are we again?” Mags whines.
“Urbana,” I say.
“I feel like I’m somewhere in nowhere,” she says, looking around in disbelief.
Yep, that sums it up.
But I’m not referring to Urbana. My head is stuck on all the uncertainty in my life: 11:22 p.m., the alien in my stomach, and PJ.