Chapter 30 Sitting Shiva, Day Two
Sitting Shiva, Day Two
Sitting shiva hasn’t been the tooth-pulling experience I expected it to be.
Yes, it is difficult greeting people I hardly know and some, I swear, I have never seen before.
But the worst part is being stuck in a loop of consolations: How are you doing?
Such a tragedy! And the most egregious—she is in a better place now.
What the absolute fuck! It’s a good thing my mother was overworked and exhausted, fell asleep at the wheel, and crashed into a tree?
To go where? What better place? The best place is here with me and Carole. Fuck that!
The best part of sitting shiva was having PJ and Mags with me all last evening.
Neel had a family obligation and couldn’t make it, but he will be coming over later tonight.
The biggest surprise—and shock—for me was when PJ’s friend, Suzi, arrived in her usual dressed-for-death look.
I wasn’t surprised by her inky-black lips or fork-tailed trench coat, but I was shocked, and genuinely touched, that she wanted to stop by.
I have spent the entire semester convinced she hates me.
Even PJ didn’t know she was coming. Through her kindness, I came to see the vulnerable, sweet side of her that PJ has been telling me about.
The four of us sequestered ourselves in my room most of the night eating bagels and talking.
That was the best part of shiva. One more night to go.
“What are we going to do with all this food?” Carole says, seemingly talking to no one from the kitchen.
At the moment, the apartment is hushed. It’s Aunt Sarah, Carole, PJ, Mags, and me.
Aunt Sarah is taking a nap on my bed, and even though we shouldn’t, Mags, PJ, and I are playing video games.
We’ve had a few visitors today, but it’s been mostly quiet.
That will all change as soon as evening arrives, and everyone comes for the Rabbi’s prayer.
My cell phone rings, and it’s Neel. He is in the parking lot with a back seat filled with food. “Simon, can you guys help me bring all this stuff up?”
“Sure, we’ll be right there.”
Mags, PJ, and I meet Neel in the parking lot, and it’s a good thing there are four of us, because Mrs. Gupta appears to have been cooking since five o’clock this morning.
“Whoa!” I say. “Carole is going to freak out. I don’t know where we are going to put all this food.”
“I know,” Neel says. “I tried to tell my mother she was going overboard, but she wouldn’t listen. She doesn’t know how to stop. Oh, and Simon, I’m sorry about your mom. She was always so nice to me. I will miss her too.”
“Thanks.”
“Neel, are these samosas in this tray?” Mags asks. Leave it to her to steer the conversation.
“Yes, I think so.”
Without a word, Mags carries the tray of samosas over to her car and secures them in her back seat. She saunters back to Neel’s car. We look on, dumbfounded.
“What?” she says. “You just said you had too much food.”
“Here, don’t worry.” Neel hands me a small brown bag with my name scrawled in black Sharpie. “These are special ones. I don’t know what makes them special, but Mom knows how much you like her samosas. She wanted to make sure these were just for you.”
“Um, hello? Why is there no special bag for me?” Mags says in exasperation. “Your mom knows I love her samosas too.”
“Um, hello, you’re not the one whose mother died, and, besides, you helped yourself to an entire tray of them. There must be like twenty in there.”
Mags ignores Neel and heads off toward the apartment building carrying another tray of food.
We carry the bounty inside, and Carole gives Neel a hug and tells him to thank his mother for being so generous.
Neel goes to the dining room to pour himself some Dr. Brown’s cream soda from the drink station.
Carole throws her hands up in the air as I walk over to her.
“We have no room left in the refrigerator,” she whispers, “and there’s no counter space. What are we going to do with all this food? It’s going to spoil.”
I don’t know what to say. The doorbell rings, and to my surprise, it’s Suzi, back again for the second night. Today, she arrives with a foil-covered casserole.
“Surprise! I made a kugel with my mom,” she says with a slight frown. She hesitates in the doorway holding the rectangular pan. “Um, are you going to invite me in?”
“Oh, sorry. I was just trying to figure out where you can put it. Come on in, we’ll figure something out. Thanks for coming back.”
What Suzi can’t possibly know is that this is the fourth kugel someone has brought today. In the Jewish tradition, you don’t send flowers; you bring food—lots and lots of food.
“So, I want you to know that I’m still angry at you for the way you treated PJ. Also, the jury is still out on whether I actually like you. But PJ is important to me, and you, for some reason, are important to PJ. So, here we are… Bet you didn’t know I can cook and that I’m Jewish too, huh?”
PJ and Mags howl with laughter.
“What? What’s so funny?” Suzi says. “Is it that the goth girl is Jewish or that she baked a kugel?”
“Both!” PJ replies. Neel reappears with his soda, takes one look at Suzi, and his eyes go big. Real big. He hands his soda to Mags and rushes to take the casserole from Suzi. “Here, let me help you. I’ll take that and find a space for it.”
Mags, PJ, and I exit the kitchen and retreat to my room giggling.
“Did you see how big his eyes got? Looks like love at first sight to me.” PJ grins.
The flow of food and people is endless. So many have come over that some of the visitors have overflowed into the hallway and stairwell.
Our apartment is so small, we should have seen this coming.
But truthfully, neither Carole nor I expected this many people.
The regular bunch of family and friends?
Sure. But the entire staff from the library and some of Mom’s coworkers from the lab?
Not for a minute! Fortunately, Mom’s boss Betty was not among the coworkers who showed up.
I think she got the hint at the hospital.
The doorbell rings, announcing another group of surprise guests.
This time, it’s Paul and Latica along with the entire GSA.
Even Tillie is here. I’ve had to miss all the recent GSA meetings and even the Autumn Pride Bake Sale, so it’s wonderful to see everyone.
Paul and Latica continued going to the meetings without me.
Paul says it was for Latica’s sake, but I don’t buy it.
I’m sure he likes going to the GSA. It’s the one place where he can be his odd self and everyone accepts him the way he is, eccentricities and all.
I usher everyone into my bedroom because there is no space elsewhere in the apartment. It’s strange to have my teacher in my bedroom. It creeps me out, but there’s no other choice. Neel brings Suzi’s kugel along with a handful of plastic forks, and we all eat it right out of the pan.
“Lord Jesus above, this is good. Gurl, what is in this thing?” Cisco asks Suzi.
Suzi blushes. “Noodles, cottage cheese, and a ton of sour cream.”
Seeing Suzi blush and be social is weird, and I can’t wrap my head around it.
Neel has not left her side and stares at her like he has never seen a real-life goth girl before.
PJ and Mags are having a ball watching this play out.
It’s not clear if Suzi is aware of Neel’s affections, and I just know PJ is itching to get her alone to ask her about it.
Everyone else is gathered in a small group with Tillie holding court as she usually does.
It’s an odd juxtaposition. Everyone is having such a nice time, but this is supposed to be a somber event, not a party.
And it’s all happening in my bedroom! When I see my friends from different schools interacting and getting along, it makes me happy.
But on the other hand, there’s a gnawing ache that reminds me I should not be feeling happy. Damn, here we go again.
I wipe my eyes and look around; Paul and Latica are missing.
I walk into the living room to look for them and locate Paul in a cluster of people.
He is eating lox on half of a bagel and talking with some of the librarians from Carole’s work.
Yeah, this makes sense. He would get along better with awkward adults. But where is Latica?
I head back to my bedroom where Suzi’s kugel is now demolished.
Lola and Frankie stand guard over a tray of Mrs. Gupta’s onion bhajis, popping one after another into their mouths.
I see a flicker of movement in my bathroom and find Latica sitting by herself on the edge of the bathtub, petting Sammy.
“Oh, hi, sorry! I can leave if you need to use the bathroom. It was too crowded everywhere else. I don’t do well in large groups, and Sammy seemed like he needed some attention.
I’m guessing he doesn’t like crowds of people either.
Here, let me give you your privacy.” She shifts her weight to leave.
“Please stay, Latica. I understand, and I’ll even join you. It is too crowded. One more kugel and the fire department is going to shut this shit down. Too many people in too small a space. Right?”
I balance on the edge of the tub next to her and she looks sadder than I do. I give her a small smile. “Can I get you anything? Do you want a drink? I bet you have never had a Dr. Brown’s soda before.”
“Oh, no, I’m fine. It’s just… My heart breaks for you, losing your mom like that, and nobody is talking about it. Everyone is laughing and eating. So much eating.”
“Yeah, well, welcome to a Jewish funeral. It’s all about the food, you know.
Don’t worry about me. I prefer it this way.
I’m comforted by everyone’s company. I can’t believe Tillie and the entire GSA showed up.
How sweet is that? And I don’t want to talk about what life is going to be like going forward without my mom anyway.
It’s always been the two of us against the world.
Of course, that is until Mom met Carole, and then it was the three of us.
But when I stop to think about it, I can’t imagine my life without her. ”
“Yes, it’s very sad. I feel your pain. Carole seems nice, though. Is your dad here?”
“Oh yeah, Dad is here, but our relationship is…complicated. He’s the one with the British accent and the bowtie. And yeah, Carole is great. She is a second mom to me. But I have no idea how this all is going to work going forward.”
“Um, who’s that other guy? I think he might be drunk.”
“Oh, you mean Brian. Yeah, he’s probably drunk or high, maybe both. He usually is. That’s my Aunt Sarah’s husband. He is not a good guy. Was he rude to you?”
“No. He just scares me a little. You know, the way he is acting. I was afraid he was your father.”
“Oh, no, no, no! My dad won’t be winning the father of the year award, but he is Gandhi compared to Brian.”
“Can I ask you another question about someone here?”
“Sure.”
“Your friend, Mags. She’s gay too, right?”
“Oh yeah, she is super gay. She loves the ladies!”
Latica’s voice gets even quieter. “She’s cool. She is so vibrant and powerful. A little loud perhaps, maybe even a bit physically intimidating despite being so short, but she is…very pretty.”
I grin and say, “Would you like me to introduce you?”
“Oh, no. I would be too embarrassed. I’m so shy and she is so…confident. I still don’t even know if I like boys or girls. Besides, it’s clear that Toni is interested in her.”
I look into the bedroom and lo and behold Mags is lying on my bed, shoes and all, while Toni hovers over her like a bird of prey.
What is she doing? Toni is dropping Mrs. Gupta’s onion bhajis into Mags’ mouth one at a time, while everyone watches.
Everyone, that is, except Neel, who can’t take his eyes off Suzi.
This is crazy! It’s too much! The shiva house has turned into an episode of Love Island.
“Excuse me,” I say to Latica and make a beeline out of my bedroom.
PJ calls after me, but I ignore him. My eyes fill with tears again as I push my way through the crowd and out the front door of my apartment.
I take the stairs two at a time and rush to hide behind the dumpster where I found Sammy on the day we moved in.
I’m gasping for breath, and my heart is racing. The alien stirs…
“Hey, kid.”
Fuck! As if things aren’t already crap, Brian is here too, and about to light up a joint. I back away from him, but I trip on a rock, twist my ankle, and fall backward onto the street.
“Wow, you’re more wasted than I am,” he slurs, standing over me.
My voice trembles. “Leave me alone.”
“Leave you alone? Why? I’m your favorite uncle.”
“Hey! What’s going on here? Simon, are you okay?”
Out of nowhere, PJ appears and holds out his hand to help me up.
I take it and stand up. Brian laughs and lights his joint.
The smell hits me immediately and sours my stomach.
The alien is wide awake and wants out. Scratch, scratch, scratch.
Adrenaline surges inside me, and I can’t stand still.
I have an overwhelming desire to run away.
“So, you must be the…boy…friend. Yeah, I heard about you.” Brian laughs between puffs of smoke.
“Yes, I am. And you’re drunk and high. Be respectful, please. Simon’s mother just passed away. Come on, Simon, let’s go.”
PJ puts his arm around me and leads me back toward the apartment. The sound of Brian, cackling like The Joker, clips at our heels. What a mess I am, shaking like crazy, and crying…again. I want to be left alone. I want this day to be over.