Chapter 43 #2
‘We never know, do we,’ I mused, ‘how long we have. We always assume that there’ll be enough time for everything. When so often life shows us that there isn’t.’
I thought of Bronte and how I’d taken for granted that she’d be back at my dinner table a week from that last sushi takeout.
How I presumed I would have time to listen to her tell me about her gap year.
Now I was doing the same with my own mother.
Bronte’s death should have been a wake-up call for me to not put off saying and doing the important things.
I’d go and see Mum, I decided, as soon as I got back home, and I’d work to repair some of the fences which we’d both damaged over the years.
Maybe we’d never have the close bond that Bronte and I had, but it had to be worth a shot.
It was the right thing to do, and I felt a load slip from my shoulders by coming to this decision.
While we’d been talking, I’d been scrolling through my Instagram messages looking for the one from the travel company Harry had told me about. I found one from Independent Travel Club and opened it.
I laughed in disbelief as I skimmed through it. ‘That’s interesting.’
‘Good news?’ Jackson glanced at me.
‘Possibly, it’s from a travel company who’d like to collaborate with me to curate some holidays under the Mum’s Gap Year brand. A brand !’ I laughed. ‘How did that happen?’
‘That’s genius.’
‘They say they’ve been following my journey and think I may have discovered an untapped market. I think I have too.’
My head buzzed with the idea. This could work.
The feedback on my Instagram posts proved how much interest there was in a trip like mine.
We could do short trips for those who worked and longer ones for those looking for a sabbatical.
I might even be able to weave in Tiff’s One World Project and tie in some volunteering and fundraising.
Beside me Jackson laughed, bringing me back to the moment. ‘Look at your face! Sounds like you’ve found something to set your soul on fire.’
I beamed at him. ‘This is insane, but yes, I just might have.’
By the time I’d finished typing a message back to them to express my delight and to arrange to speak to them on Zoom, we’d arrived at our destination.
‘I don’t remember any of this,’ I said, after we’d parked the car and headed downhill past a café and a collection of gift and snack shops.
‘Bali has grown up,’ said Jackson.
‘Haven’t we all,’ I replied.
‘But you’ve improved with age,’ he replied. ‘The same can’t be said for these tourist spots.’
‘Very smooth, Mr Jackson.’
Already I could hear the tantalising roar of the waterfall in the distance.
I peeled my dress away from my hot skin, desperate to get into the water.
There were several steep flights of stone steps to the water and we joined a steady stream of people downwards.
Scout, tugging on her lead, seemed as keen to get in as I was.
At the bottom, we took off our shoes and put our feet in the cool clear water.
‘Bliss,’ I groaned, taking Jackson’s hand for support.
Scout plunged straight in, her muzzle in a wide smile as she doggy-paddled to and fro.
Once she’d had enough, Jackson secured her lead to a shady post and she lay down with her head on her paws, panting.
We stripped off and waded out into the deep water and closer to the waterfall.
I dived under the surface. The noise of the waterfall thundered in my ears and the water was effervescent with bubbles.
‘It’s just as beautiful as I remember it,’ I said, coming back to the surface and pushing my hair off my face.
Last time we were here, he had dived beneath me, grabbed hold of my ankles and tugged me under, and we had burst through the surface gasping for air, laughing and splashing at each other. It had been fun, romantic and sexy too. I wondered if he remembered it the same way I did.
It was too deep for me to touch the floor but not for Jackson and as I swam back to him, he caught me around my waist.
‘I’m not going to dunk you this time,’ he said with a smile.
‘You remember!’ My eyes sparkled at him.
‘Of course I do,’ he murmured. ‘I thought you were the most beautiful girl I’d ever met. And you’re even more beautiful now.’
I braced myself against the taut muscles in his arms to prevent his chest from touching mine. If there was someone else in his life, I’d back away now. I’d be devastated, but I didn’t want to put temptation in his way. That wasn’t my style.
But being so close to him was torture. I didn’t know how much longer I was going to be able to keep my distance. I wanted to wrap my arms around his neck, press my body against his, kiss him … I had to know. I had to know now.
‘Are you—’
‘Do you—’
We both spoke at once and laughed.
‘You go first,’ he said.
‘Okay.’ I let go of his arms and floated away to put some space between us.
‘Actually, no,’ he said, swimming after me and catching my hand again. ‘I’ve gotta go first, this is killing me.’
He pulled me to him, his eyes flashing with longing, and I grabbed hold of his shoulders to steady myself.
‘Maggie, do you have a partner waiting back home for you? Because now that you’ve walked into my life again, I don’t want to let you go. And if there’s any chance, any tiny chance at all of kissing those delicious lips of yours, I want to take it.’
Was this really happening? It felt like a dream. ‘I’m single. Are you?’ I rasped. ‘Is that what you’re saying?’
He gave a slow nod and that was all it took. Our bodies collided, hands cupping faces, fingers tangled in hair, lips on lips, my legs wrapped around his hips as he crushed my chest against his.
The taste of his mouth made me weak with longing and only the sound of nearby giggling forced us to pull apart.
‘You’ve done it to me again, Maggie,’ he whispered soft against my lips. ‘Twenty-four hours in your company and I’m a lost cause.’
‘Count yourself lucky,’ I retorted, barely able to contain my joy. ‘I’ve been a lost cause for twenty-four years.’
‘I’ve dreamed about you so many times over the years,’ he murmured. ‘Wondering where you were, what sort of life you’ve had. Who you loved after me. Those weeks we had together were so perfect that whenever I met someone new, I couldn’t help but compare them to you.’
‘Jackson.’ I touched his face, his shoulders, his chest. Now that I knew he felt the same, I couldn’t get enough of him. ‘That was how it was for me. I couldn’t bear to bring anyone else into our little family of two because I knew he would never be you.’
‘Why didn’t we try harder to stay in touch, Maggie?’ he groaned.
‘Because we were young?’ I said. ‘Because we didn’t realise then how special what we had was? Who knows.’
He gave me a wicked smile. ‘You became a sort of fantasy woman to me.’
‘Me?’ I forced myself not to ruin the moment by saying something self-deprecating. The girl he met all those years ago would never have done that. She’d have met his eye, letting him know how good it felt to be desired. ‘Tell me more,’ I said.
‘As crazy as it sounds, whenever I thought about my dream woman, an image of you, in your bikini on the beach, would appear. You were hard to get over, Mags. I guess I never did.’
‘It doesn’t sound crazy at all. Because I’ve never got over you either.’
‘When Utt called to tell me you were in Bali, I was in such a rush to get to you that I struggled to get the key in the ignition of the jeep. On the drive from Canggu, I told myself I had to play it cool, you’d probably be here with your partner.
And even if you weren’t, would you even want to see me? ’
‘I did want to see you, Jackson, I’ve never stopped wanting that.’
‘Oh Maggie.’
I watched his face as he spoke, his lips forming my name, his eyes burning into mine as if I was the only person in the world. ‘I’ve fantasised about you too. But fantasy can only take you so far. The reality is so, so much better.’
A plaintive woof from the bank made us turn back to Scout and we both laughed.
‘And right on cue, real life beckons,’ said Jackson. ‘We’d better give her some attention.’
‘As long as that’s your only other woman,’ I teased, ‘I can handle sharing you.’
‘I’ve got some special people in my life who I can’t wait for you to meet.’ We waded out of the water hand in hand, and he brought my fingers to his lips to kiss them ‘But honestly? There’s never been anyone who came close to you.’
This man: he melted my heart. I sent up a silent prayer of gratitude to Bronte for bringing us back together via her planning. None of this would have happened without her.
‘Like who?’ I asked. ‘Do you have kids?’
He hooked an arm around my shoulders as we crossed the pebbles towards the dog.
‘Two sons. The eldest is in Jakarta at uni and the other now manages the diving school I set up after I decided to settle in Bali. It’s really near the turtle sanctuary.
Their mother and I never married, but we’re still friends and she’s married to one of Utt’s nephews now.
I focus on the hotel these days as Bronte found out. ’
Scout rolled over onto her back as we reached her and Jackson tickled her belly.
My heart swelled with love for him. ‘I’m so proud of you. Seems like you got exactly the life you dreamed of.’
He stepped towards me, a smouldering look in his eyes as he lowered his mouth to mine. ‘I have now. I love you, Mags.’
A gasp formed in my throat and he pulled back.
‘Too soon?’ he whispered, his breath soft against my lips.
‘Not soon enough.’
I closed my eyes and surrendered to Jackson’s kiss, and it was every bit as intoxicating as it had always been.
As our kiss deepened, all thoughts of work and the UK and Tiff and the Mum’s Gap Year idea floated away. For now, all that mattered was this wonderful man and the certainty that this time, I was never letting him out of my life again.
Thank you, Bronte , I thought. Thank you for bringing me home.
Bronte’s Gap Year
I have never felt like such a stalker before, but once you start digging into someone’s background, you can’t help yourself.
So let’s say my dad is Mr Jackson the hotel owner, then there’s a chance that the two young Jacksons in Bali on Insta could be family too: Kai studying oceanography at uni and Regan who won an award for young business owner of the year for his dive school.
Both super cute. Although (a) potentially my half-brothers and (b) I’m team Harry for ever.
Couldn’t find anything about their mum, but their dad Eugene (no wonder he goes by Jackson) popped up in a post about the Beach Break Hotel in Canggu.
They run surf camps where you stay for a week and learn to surf.
So guess who’ll be booking in for lessons? ? ME!
I’ll do a recce and if he seems nice, I’ll separate him from the crowd and ask if he remembers Maggie Jones.
I’ll probably take her year 2000 diary along too to jog his memory.
I mean, it might not work, it might not even be him, but stranger things have happened, right?
Then all I need to do is to somehow persuade Mum to come out and join us.
I know it’s her happy place, and if I end up finding my dad, it’ll be mine too.
Mum’s Gap Year
My darling girl,
For once I’m struggling to find words to adequately express how much I love and appreciate you.
I set off on this trip three months ago with no plan other than to follow your itinerary.
My world had grown so small and I didn’t want to imagine a future without you in it.
I’d been merely existing, doing enough to get myself through each day, avoiding my feelings, even avoiding your bedroom.
I’d lost my purpose, the one that had sustained me for the last twenty-four years – to be the best possible mother I could to my beautiful girl, to be your role model.
I thought you were crazy to defer your job to go travelling, but now I see that you had your priorities right. It was me who had mine wrong.
All along it was you who had the answers I needed. You showed me the way. With your encouragement, page by page, you led me across the world to wonderful places, opening my heart and my mind to new experiences, new ideas.
And now you have led me back to Jackson, your wonderful dad. Quite simply, you have turned my world upside down.
I’ve been in Bali for three weeks, most of the time staying with your dad in his villa near the Beach Break Hotel.
It’s all Balinese carved wood and outdoor showers with a pool that I’ve taken to floating in, while Scout paces the edge of the pool in lifeguard mode.
I’ve met his sons – your half-brothers – who are full of fun and call their dad Eugene to wind him up and constantly compete against each other in everything.
You’d love them. And you’d love your granddad Errol, who is the sweetest man.
He’s seventy-five but you should see him on his surfboard – he puts us all to shame.
Tomorrow, we head back to the UK. Jackson wants to see our house and meet the family – and yes, that does include your gran.
She and I have a lot to talk about. Losing you has made me realise that you have to make the most of the people you love while they’re alive.
And I do love her, even if she drives me mad.
Also, I’ve got some ends to tie up with ShopSwift.
Tiff secured me a decent severance payout, which will tide me over while I put together the plans for a new business.
I’m so excited about that – I keep having to pinch myself.
And it’s all because of you. You’ve taught me so much, my sweet girl. You will be with me always, your light and energy showing me the way.
Love, always
Mum xxx