Chapter 24 Sam
sam
Coach Dalton had me sitting with the team for the game when he found out I was coming.
It gave me a taste of the dream that had started festering the last few weeks.
It was either going to tell me my dream was a possibility or I wasn’t cut out for it.
I had been stressing about it all week because it felt like this might actually work for me.
I liked helping these kids out and getting to be in hockey made me feel good.
“Good job,” I said to the first linemen. “Parker, you gotta trust your wingmen more.”
I said the last part softly because I didn’t believe in calling them out if I didn’t need to.
He sighed, but that was the only acknowledgment I received.
I let Coach Dalton do all of the coaching, giving praise and some help here and there.
After the second period we led one to zero and we went back to the locker for a break.
A sharp loud whistle alerted me to Jude and Forest, who had been cheering the entire game.
I’ve never blushed more during a game than I had here, and I didn’t think I could have done this without them.
I looked up to see them yelling and giving me a thumbs up.
Jude got bold and blew me a kiss, never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would have him blowing me kisses at a hockey rink.
I pretended to catch it and put it in my pocket as I walked through the tunnel following the team with a big grin on my face.
The guys were rowdy, still full of energy and ribbing each other as they got drinks and some of them ate a snack.
“What do you think so far?” Coach Dalton slapped my back.
“I like it, a little nerve-wracking, but it feels great to be out by the ice again,” I said, feeling embarrassed for the admission. “I’ve missed it.”
“Yeah, I can’t imagine how that must feel,” he said, sounding a little sad.
“How long did you play for?” I asked, realizing I had never asked before.
“I never made it past college,” he said. “I was about to be drafted to Boston, and I was hurt my senior year. I fucked up my shoulder and well, let’s just say it was so bad there was no way anyone would ever sign me”
“Ah shit, man,” I said, feeling guilty. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s ok, took me a while to accept it,” he sighed. “I was angry, hated the world and I seriously felt so cheated.”
He talked about his dark days and what he felt the few years after.
Each word made me feel more of an asshole and ungrateful.
I had so many years in professional hockey, more than a lot of people and here I was struggling over getting closer to the end of December and the final nail in the coffin of my retirement.
“I mean, you kind of know what I’m talking about,” he said.
“In March, I would have agreed with you, but I had eight years in the league and I got to experience life as a professional,” I sighed. “You just made me feel like the biggest pansy in the world.”
“Aww shit, I didn’t—”
“Nah, I needed it,” I said. “I was feeling sorry for myself, and I could have had it worse.”
“Yeah, it doesn’t make your pain any less,” he said. “You had the taste of the big leagues and in a blink of an eye, it was all gone. I think that's even worse.”
I shrugged, “Maybe, but I’m seeing that I had my time and maybe it's time for something different.”
“That’s the spirit,” he said. “Alright, boys! You got to keep your stuff together!”
Coach Dalton gave them a good pep talk and some advice before we headed back out. I waited for all of the guys to head out to the ice, then pulled on Parker's jersey.
“Hey, watch number eight, he’s got a weak right, and the goalie freaks out when there are too many of you around him,” I said.
He nodded.
“Trust your line,” I said again. “This is your family and if you can’t trust them, then you won’t play fluidly. You did great this last practice, I know you can do it again.”
I slapped his shoulder as he nodded at me again.
Parker had gone quiet after I whooped his ass, but I saw the respect in his eyes and he listened.
A few weeks later his quips and snarks had quieted down to more questions and observations.
The kid was a fucking great player, but he had problems being cohesive with the team and if he didn’t learn how to play better, he wasn’t going to get drafted.
In the third period, Parker and his line scored another goal and for once they played like a line, they communicated and they overwhelmed number eight and the goalie.
They won the game two to zero and I couldn’t have been more proud of the guys.
Just a few small changes and they were working so much better together.
“Hey, would it be ok if I invited the team out to eat and play at that arcade?” I asked Dalton. “I think it would be a good team building moment and get them to have fun as a team outside of the ring, plus I’ll pay for food and play.”
“Uh….” he looked stumped. “You don’t have to do that.”
“I want to, I think it would be great for them,” I said, feeling a little embarrassed for suggesting it. “You could come too and uh, my friends would be coming too.”
He smiled. “I think that would be cool.”
“Alright, I’m gonna let them know before they jet out,” I said, getting excited but nervous that none of them would want to come.
I walked to the locker rooms where the guys were being rowdy.
“Hey, good game, guys!” I said as I walked in, giving them a chance to cover up if they were shy.
The guys had all said varying different ‘thanks’.
“Hey, so since you guys killed it, how about pizza and games on me?” It was stupid to be nervous about asking a bunch of college kids to come eat with me, but I really thought it would be a good idea for them and it helped that Forest and Jude thought the same thing.
“Free pizza?” Tommy the captain asked.
“Yeah, all free,” I chuckled.
“I’m in,” he said, and soon most of the team said yes.
“Alright, I’ll wait for y’all outside the tunnel, so don’t take too long cause I’m starving! We can organize transportation out there.”
“Alright, you heard the man, hurry the fuck up!” one of the defensemen yelled, and I just chuckled as the guys rushed to the showers.
“Don’t die running to the showers!” Coach Dalton said, coming out of his office.
I chuckled, walking out of the locker room and toward my men.
It was weird calling them my men, I still couldn't believe that we were all together. I still hadn’t decided how to introduce them to Coach Dalton and I hated having this lingering fear of how people would react to the people I dated.
I was an out Bi man so it shouldn’t be a surprise but I still worried.
The moment I walked out of the locker room I saw Jude and Forest waiting for me, but surprisingly, a few kids recognized me from the Yetis. They asked for autographs and some pictures, giving my ego a little boost.
“Look at him just soaking up all the attention,” Forest said, as I was walking toward them.
“I can’t help it if I’m famous,” I said with a chuckle.
Jude laughed, hugging me. “You looked great out there, Sammy. Congrats on the win.”
“I was hoping your uniform would be short shorts with a polo, some tube socks and tennis shoes,” Forest said. “But yeah, congrats on the win.”
“This isn’t some eighties porno,” I laughed.
“But your ass would look amazing in those short shorts,” Jude grinned, waggling his eyebrows making me laugh harder.
“So, are the kiddos coming out?” Forest asked.
“I think so, they did great,” I said, feeling proud.
“Aww, look at you,” Jude said, poking my side. “You look like a proud papa bear.”
“I kind of feel like one,” I laughed.
“Coaching looks good on you,” Forest said, throwing an arm over my shoulder. “You looked happy. Do you think you might apply or ask if you can?”
“Forest and I think it’s a great idea. You still get to be close to hockey, and it seems like you like this,” Jude said, leaning against me and I held him close.
I clenched my jaw, feeling like this is what I wanted, this feeling of support, closeness and their kindness. Forest and Jude gave me something I had always yearned for, but was too afraid to have. Could they be the family I had always searched for?
“Yeah, I think I might have found what I have been looking for,” I said, kissing Jude’s forehead and leaning my face against Forest’s.
If it were up to me, I’d tell everyone who I belonged to.
Jude had always had my heart, but Forest had burrowed into my heart and made himself at home like he had been there the whole time.
Jude and I needed Forest to make this work, and it was at the tip of my tongue to ask them to make it official.
Forest's lips touched my forehead when I heard the door to the locker room opening.
My heart clenched when they stepped away and I knew maybe us being together here wasn’t the best idea, but it still stung.
A few guys came out laughing and ribbing each other.
A few girls came to them, oohing and ahhing, and I couldn’t help but laugh, remembering the days when girls practically threw themselves at you.
“Jeez, do hockey players get laid just by existing?” Forest asked, when more guys came out and more girls were going up to them.
“Pretty much.” Jude answered for me.
I laughed, “It wasn’t always like that.”
“Yeah, it was puck bunnies for miles and miles!” Jude flourished his hand outwardly.
“Damn, I missed out,” Forest said, elbowing me.
“I mean it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows,” I muttered.
“Yeah, you got some fanatics,” Jude said. “And some pushy girls who don’t take no for an answer.”
“Eeesh,” Forest said, shaking his head. “Yeah, no thanks.”
“Hey, Coach!” A few players came up to us and of course, there were a few girls trailing after them.
It took a few more minutes for more guys to show up and then Coach Dalton made an appearance.
We made introductions and once all the guys who could make it were there, we made sure everyone had a ride, and Parker ended up riding with us.
He was quiet on the ride over there, even when Jude and Forest tried making conversation.
As we ate and played games, I noticed that Parker was unusually the odd one out. I knew he was a bit of an asshole, but I always wondered what went on outside of the rink. Now I knew why there was so much strain on the first line. None of the linemen were hanging out.
I grabbed Parker, Tommy and Carson. “Come on, boys.”
I took them to the big shooting game they had in the back of the arcade where we could all play. It was some zombie game, but it was perfect for what I had in mind.
“Alright, I have twenty bucks on a card, and we are going to play together. If you can get to the third level before we run out of money, then you won’t have a special practice with me tomorrow at six am,” I said, scanning the card so everyone could start the game.
“Excuse me?” Parker snapped.
“This is an exercise,” I said. “You need to play well together and what better way than to get put on an early practice.”
“This game is hard,” Carson said.
“How do we know you aren’t going to sabotage us?” Tommy asked.
“You think I want to wake my ass up at six am?” I scoffed.
“This is bullshit,” Parker snarled.
“It’s not, you need to function as a team.
You got lucky tonight, you've been getting lucky,” I said.
“You guys are good hockey players, but you could be fucking amazing if you just worked together. You would be noticed by recruiters as well. No one will sign a player who doesn’t work well with others. ”
Parker glared at me, but I saw the understanding in his eyes. “Come on, guys, there’s no way in hell I’m gonna wake up tomorrow morning for a fucking practice.”
“Call your shots,” Tommy said.
“And don’t fucking die,” Carson said, pulling his fake gun up.
We started off rocky, but then the guys started communicating and the magic started to happen.
We played the game for forty minutes, passing the third stage.
They wanted to play for longer, but my knee was killing me so I left them with another game card.
They joked around and for the first time, I saw Parker smiling and I hoped he would start hanging out with the team more.
It would make him better and I knew he wanted to be drafted.
He was a great player, but he wouldn’t get anywhere if he wasn't a team player.
I just hoped I would get to see him playing in a big arena.