Chapter 26 Jude
jude
The fire station was decorated. We had a special dinner planned, but I still felt a little disappointed I was at the fire station for Christmas. It was my year to be here. We all took turns working the holidays, but nothing was more depressing than having to work on Christmas.
There was nothing I loved more than being surrounded by my family, opening presents and enjoying the day together. Luke and his family weren’t going to be here this year, but this was the first year I had some guys that I could call mine, and I loved giving gifts.
There were only three of us here at the station and while we usually had five of us, we operated in a smaller group and two people were on call if we needed help.
Christmas was usually quiet except the occasional accident or sometimes a small fire because someone would try to fry a turkey and not defrost it.
The roads were a little icy and we had been getting snow for a few days. We were expecting some accidents today, but hopefully just some fender benders so people could go on and enjoy their holidays at home and not in the hospital.
“Judas!” Butler yelled for me.
I wasn’t his biggest fan, and if I never worked another shift with him for the rest of my life I wouldn’t mourn.
He was a pain in my ass, calling me Judas and occasionally muttering some shit about my brother’s queer ranch.
Butler was too much of a coward to say anything out loud, but I prayed one day he would give me a reason to shut him up.
“Oh, hello!” Bailey purred and my heart galloped at the possibility of why she sounded the way she did.
I got up from my bunk, putting a bookmark in my book and headed downstairs, hoping my assumption wasn’t wrong. The last step off the stairs and I felt like I was floating. Sam and Forest stood side by side with a few bags in their hands and a cooler.
“Merry Christmas,” they said together.
I clenched my jaw as I tried not to get emotional.
“Merry Christmas,” I said.
“Alright, you boys, have fun!” Bailey said, dragging Butler away with her up-stairs.
“What are you guys doing here?” I walked to them.
“We wanted to bring Christmas to you,” Sam said.
“I know it's hard being here, but maybe this will make the day go by faster,” Forest said, pulling me in for a hug. “Merry Christmas, Princess.”
“Thank you,” I whispered.
“Merry Christmas, Baby,” Sam said, hugging us too.
My eyes welled up with tears as I put an arm around Sam, hugging them as tightly as I could.
“Shit, Baby,” Sam said, wiping a tear that ran down my cheek.
“Fuck, I thought this was going to make you happy?” Forest pulled away.
“I am,” I said, as another tear slid down my cheek. “I’m just—”
I didn’t know what to say, that I loved them, that my heart was so full of love that I was leaking? I had never been so terrified of something before, not even running into a burning building
“I am happy,” I said, before Forest could think something was really wrong. “I’m just glad I don’t have to spend the holiday with the two doofuses upstairs, but with my two favorite people.”
Forest looked instantly relieved, but Sam just kept smiling like he knew how much of a sap I really was, and I guess he really did.
“Come on. Nova made posole and I figured we could eat, watch a movie and then open presents,” Sam said, walking to our living space.
“Oh, red or green?” I asked them. “And I don’t have your presents here.”
“Verde,” Forest said. “Green is her best posole and don’t worry, we swung by your house, gave Barnaby his present and picked ours up.”
“You guys got Barnaby a present?”
“Yeah, and if you don’t like it, we can return it,” Forest said, looking sheepish.
Sam put the bags down, took his phone out and showed me a picture of a cute cat tower I had mentioned getting last month. Barnaby was already lying down on one of the perches with a hideous sweater on.
“Guys, I love it,” I said softly, afraid if I said anything more I would start to cry.
“He seemed to like it,” Forest said, coming behind me to wrap his arms around me. “He liked the house at the bottom too.”
“Thank you,” I said, turning around to bury my face in his neck because I was ready to cry again. “Not that I’m complaining, but what is he wearing in that photo?”
Sam laughed, pulling something out of a bag as Forest shook his head.
“Since you love this shit, I figured we’d all wear an ugly-ass sweater,” Sam said, passing around the ugliest Christmas sweaters I had ever seen and they immediately put them on, no questions asked.
Dammit, I loved an ugly sweater party.
“Guys, are you purposely trying to make me cry?” I asked, pulling my sweater over my fire department shirt, giving myself a second to control my emotions.
“No, but if these are happy tears, then I’m ok with it,” Forest said, as my head popped out of the head of the sweater and he kissed me softly. “If not, this was all Peach’s idea.”
“Screw you,” Sam said, throwing something at Forest, but he caught it before it hit us. “I knew he would love this.”
“I do, thank you,” I said, nuzzling closer to Forest.
“Well, in that case, I helped,” Forest said, kissing my forehead, then heading to the bags to unpack them.
I chuckled. “I would have been happy if you had just popped in to say, ‘Merry Christmas’”
“Nah, what kind of boy—” Sam stopped himself, “people would we be if we let you spend Christmas with your coworkers?”
I kind of wished he had said boyfriends because that's what this felt like.
They were my people, I loved them. Sam kept unloading bags as Forest stopped to look at him and then me.
He caught his flub, too. A look of panic crossed his face before he steeled his expression into something more carefree.
Forest worried me the most. That’s why I hadn’t brought up anything about our future or what we were because I had a feeling the moment I did, he would either end this or leave. Nothing tied Forest to Sterling Ridge, and I was afraid that we wouldn’t be enough…
That scared me the most.
“Come on, before you get a call, I had a taste of this posole and it was freaking amazing,” Forest said, putting some bowls out when his phone rang.
He pulled out his phone from his pocket, staring at it for a while before silencing it and putting his phone back in his packet. I wondered if it was his family or if Forest even had a family. He never talked about them.
“I get to choose the movie,” I said, turning on the TV.
“Pick something good,” Sam teased, pulling out gifts and putting them by the tree.
“Forest made a good point, we should probably open the presents after we eat or now,” I said, getting excited to watch Elf. “We don’t know when I’ll be called in.”
Forest chuckled. “Called it.”
“Dammit,” Sam said, giving me a bowl with all my favorite toppings on it. “Let’s eat and then we can open gifts.”
“Fine,” I grumbled, but as soon as I had some of Nova’s posole, I probably wouldn't care about the gifts.
“Fuck, that woman can cook,” Forest groaned. “What are the chances we can steal her from them?”
“She thinks I’m cute and Sol likes me so I think our chances might be good,” Sam said, and I laughed.
“You guys have to do all the work because Nova and I will only have a lavender marriage,” I said, slurping the last bit of my broth.
“Wait, what?” Sam raised his voice. “I thought you were bi?”
I shrugged. “I thought it was easier to put myself in that category."
“Fuck, did you not feel comfortable with me?” Sam looked hurt.
“I think I was not comfortable with saying it,” I said, looking down at my bowl. “Then I just got mad that I had to come out, like why did I have to come out?”
“I get that,” Forest agreed with me. “Every time I move, I’m always worried because you know how small towns can be, and I did the whole dancing around my sexuality. I’m sure it's like that everywhere, but it gets old having to justify or tell people your sexuality.”
I felt Sam staring at me, but I couldn’t bear to look at him. If he had hidden something from me, I would have been hurt too, but he needed to understand where I was coming from.
“I know what you mean, but you didn’t have to feel that way with me,” Sam said softly. “I mean, I get what it's like to have your sexuality thrown at your face every single time you score a goal and it's exhausting how much my sex life got brought up to my teammates, but I—”
“Sam, I didn’t feel any way with you, it was just a me thing,” I said. “I hated the whole coming out thing. I guess I was just over it and figured I would just say it in passing, but didn’t think it would upset you.”
“I’m not up—” He stopped himself looking away. “I just want you to always feel safe with me. Both of you, I don’t want you to feel like there isn’t anything we can’t talk about, ok. That's why I’m upset. I always want to be your safe space.”
I glanced at Forest, who looked taken aback by Sam’s words like he had never heard anyone tell him that before. He looked away before Sam could see the look on his face.
“You’re too good for this world,” I said, putting my bowl down to walk to him and sat on his lap. “You are my safe space, both of you are.”
I looked over at Forest who looked uncomfortable and just as I was about to ask what was wrong, he said, “We better open these presents before Jude gets called for an emergency.”
“Good idea,” Sam said, reaching for the red velvet bag he had that looked like Santa’s bag.
Elf played in the background as we passed out presents and Forest’s and my pile were considerably bigger than Sam’s, but he loved giving gifts. Sam watched us with excitement as he made sure we opened our gifts before him, but just as Forest and I opened our first gift, the fire alarm rang.
“Shit,” Sam's face fell.
“Fuck, I’m sorry,” I said, feeling guilty.
“Open this quickly,” Sam shoved envelopes to Forest and I. “Hurry!”
I opened it and out fell an airplane ticket just like Forest’s.
“Sam?” Forest's deep voice sounded concerned.
“I thought we could go on a trip in the next month or two. It’s not a real ticket but pick a place and a date and we can go,” he said, with a big smile. “I’m thinking the beach and somewhere where we need very little clothing.”
My face grew red.
“Plus, I think we deserve some fun,” he said, pulling Forest towards us.
“They also say if you travel well together, that's a good sign.”
I couldn’t help the smile that bloomed on my face. Sam was thinking about the future and that was probably better than any Christmas gift he could have gotten me. I kissed him quickly, excited to go anywhere with them.
“Come on, Judas! Chop, Chop, fairy,” Butler yelled.
I rolled my eyes.
“Did he call you a fairy?” Forest stepped around me.
“He’s an ass,” I said. “He’s got a small dick, and everyone knows it. So he takes it out on the rest of us.”
Sam laughed. “He really does. Last year his photo circulated and the poor dude has maybe three inches to his name.”
“He shouldn’t be—”
“Ow! Bailey, what the fuck was that for!”
“Bailey’s got my back,” I said.
I kissed them a little longer than I should. “I’ll see you at home tomorrow!”
I ran to the fire truck with a pep in my step that not even Butler could ruin. We had two more calls that day and nothing dampened my spirits. For the first time in my life, I felt like I was exactly where I belonged.