Chapter 33 Sam
sam
“Holy shit, I swear it's colder here than in Denver,” Gomez said, as we walked towards the Boozy Bandit, since that is where we all decided to spend New Year’s Eve.
“Your job is on the ice,” Beau, Valencia’s friend said as he walked with us.
He came down with them, not having any plans and Valencia didn’t want him to be alone.
They arrived yesterday afternoon and would unfortunately have to drive back tomorrow afternoon to be back for a game the following day.
I was lucky enough to be able to schedule a last-minute practice with a few guys from the team telling them it would be worth the practice.
Most of the kids went home for the holidays but the few who were local were on my first and second lines.
“Yeah, but it's not twenty degrees on the ice with wind blowing and—”
“Come on, big guy, we will keep you warm.” Valencia and Riggs surrounded Gomez as they walked.
“He’s such a big baby,” Jude chuckled, as he held onto my arm.
“The biggest,” I agreed.
“I don’t know how that big man is a hockey player,” Beau chuckled.
“I heard that, you fuckers!” Gomez yelled.
“We meant for you to!” Beau yelled, rubbing his hands together.
Jude pulled Beau closer to us, and I threw an arm around him to give him some warmth.
“No matter how long I’m in Colorado, I never get used to the cold,” he said, getting as close as he could.
“Sometimes it feels like it gets colder than previous years and then some years it feels like it gets hotter,” Jude said, as we finally reached the door to the bar.
“Oh my god, there is a mechanical bull!” Valencia's faint squeal made me smile as we walked in.
“Oh, god,” Riggs yelled.
Jude walked to the front of the group leading us to the table that Iris had saved for us.
The place was more packed than I had expected, but I was happy to see it so lively.
We sat down, Iris immediately got our first drink order with an order of shots.
We shucked off our big jackets, putting them on the backs of our chairs.
A popular pop song was playing as I took in the crowd when I spotted a tall man with a black Stetson, when he turned around, my body sagged in disappointment when it wasn’t Forest.
“I thought it was him too,” Jude yelled in my ear, leaning on my shoulder.
“I want it to be him and then I don’t,” I said, getting angrier as time went on.
He fucking left us without saying bye. Left a box with our things and a fucking note that said he would never forget us.
Jude and I were reduced to a box with a fucking note.
“I hate missing him.” He kissed my shoulder when Iris came back with our drinks.
She passed out our drinks, taking a shot with us, her eyes lingering on Beau before she went back to work. Jude hated that she had to work, but she wanted to make some money and with how packed it was, she would make some damn good tips.
“Alright, who's going on the bull first?” Valencia yelled.
“Jude!” I shouted.
“Hell no!” he retorted.
“You should do it, Mamas,” Gomez said to Valencia.
“Come on, Beau! Let's go!” Valencia got up, grabbing Beau as they made their way to the person taking names for the bull riding.
“They look way too excited,” Jude said, as they put their names down.
I laughed as Riggs and Gomez shook their heads at their girlfriend and it made me remember when Forest was riding that damn bull. He rode it with ease and my body flushed at the memory. I hated missing him.
Seeing people fall off the bull was just as entertaining as when we watched it the first time.
Especially as people had more to drink, the sloppier people got.
Valencia was the first one to ride the bull, lasting longer than I would have expected, but when Beau got on the bull, he was just as good as Forest, if not better.
The second time he rode with flair, and he hyped the crowd up, rolling those hips sinfully.
“God, I’m worried he might start taking his clothes off,” Valencia said, as she took a picture for him.
“Fuck, I wouldn’t be mad at that,” Jude chuckled.
“You, me and half of the bar,” I said, as women started crowding around the bull, hootin’ and hollerin’.
I could have sworn I saw a twenty flying at him and I didn’t miss the lingering glances Iris kept giving him. They traded looks a few times, Nash Yarbrough seemed out of the picture for now.
“God, I feel like he’s gonna be wearing a cowboy hat in his next video,” Valencia laughed.
“Maybe you should too,” Riggs said, kissing her neck.
“Stop,” she said, slapping him away as she continued taking photos. “I’m working.”
“I still can’t believe Valencia and Beau have sex on camera,” Jude said in my ear.
I chuckled. I couldn't believe it either, but more power to them.
“I think it’s hilarious that Riggs and Gomez followed her,” I said, pulling him against me as we saw Beau flip from facing the front to the back flawlessly.
“What are the odds?” Jude took a sip of his beer. “I’d think I’d lose my shit if I found you fucking on camera.”
“Mmmm, I think I’d love to have a video of you and know I’m the only one who gets to watch it.’ I nipped at his ear playfully.
“Forest would probably—”
He jerked like he forgot he wasn’t with us. We had been doing that lately, talking about him like he was still here.
“I’m sorry,” Jude said.
“Don’t apologize, it’s only been a few days. Forest isn’t someone we are going to forget about anytime soon,” I said, kissing his cheek. “I miss him too.”
“I hate that I miss him,” he grumbled. “I keep trying to look at the positive side, that I finally have you, bu—”
“But it still feels weird without him.” I finished his sentence.
He nodded, leaning his forehead against my cheek, and I could have sworn I felt a stray tear. If I knew where Forest had gone, I’d go just to yell at him, drag him to apologize to Jude and tell him he was an idiot.
“Ok, lovebirds!” Beau pulled us apart grabbing Jude’s hand. “I’d bring you with me, but I remember you suck at dancing!”
I laughed as I saw Beau taking Jude to go dance as Gomez and Valencia followed. Hopefully this would be enough to get Jude to forget about his earlier flub. Sometimes he was too hard on himself.
“You ok?” Riggs sat next to me, so he had a better view.
I shrugged. I gave Gomez a condensed version of what had happened with Forest. I figured it would be easier if he relayed the gossip, plus I didn’t want to rehash everything with everyone.
“Well, sometimes we do stupid shit when we think we have no other choice,” Riggs said, sipping his beer.
“I thought it would be easier if I pushed Val and Ro away because I didn’t know how to do relationships.
They scared me and I thought it would be easier if we just went our separate ways, except being without them was worse than anything I had ever experienced. ”
Hunter was somber as he watched Val and Gomez. I glanced at Jude who was dancing close to Beau, a small smile creeping on his face while he watched Beau get low.
“I don’t know what knocked some sense into me, but I woke up one day hating the distance I had created.” He ran his hand through his hair. “Forest seemed like a cool guy when you guys visited, but no guy comes to Denver if he’s just a hook-up and looks at you guys the way he did.”
“That’s what got us here in the first place.” I slammed my beer down. “We didn’t think it was something casual either, his actions didn't match what he said and did.”
“I have a feeling you’ll hear from him soon and when you do—”
A commotion and loud scream cut Riggs off as I looked out on the dance floor. My heart leapt into my throat as I thought I was seeing things and I ran into action.
“Forest!” I yelled, as Jude tried getting in between him and Beau, who had a smirk on his face, even though Forest was holding him by the shirt. Forest was taller than Beau by a few inches and broader, that didn’t seem to scare Beau.
Valencia was yelling in Spanish as I reached them, and I stood behind Beau.
“Forest,” I yelled.
His dark eyes collided with my own, they were full of hurt and anger.
“Let him go,” Jude growled, pulling Beau’s shirt out of Forest's grasp.
Forest scowled at Jude.
“You don’t get to act like a caveman, you lost that damn privilege," Jude yelled, pushing Forest back standing in front of Beau. “You left us.”
“I’m—”
“You think you can just come back here like nothing happened between us and—”
“No, I’m sorry, I just—”
“You just thought we would still be yours even after you left us? Without a fucking goodbye?” Jude questioned, his verbal assault was painful to watch. “No, you don’t get to fucking do that, just come back like everything is ok, like we are still yours.”
Jude walked away from the dance floor, leaving the rest of us caught in the middle of everyone’s attention.
“If you had just asked, this is Beau, Valencia’s friend from Denver,” I said, putting Forest out of his misery. “You ok?” I looked down at Beau.
“Yeah, not the first time a jealous ex has assumed something,” Beau said, patting my hand that was on his shoulder. “Go check on Jude. I’m ok.”
Forest scowled. I rolled my eyes, nodding my head for him to follow me.
Gomez and Riggs eyed Forest with suspicion, but I shook my head.
Riggs had a small smirk on his face as I passed him, almost smug, like what he had said moments before had just come true.
I looked around the bar for him, seeing Iris pointing to the hallway to the bathrooms. I mouthed a thank you as I made my way towards Jude when I glanced at Iris giving Forest the dirtiest look.
She had her arms crossed, staring him down, and I hoped he felt a little bad.
We walked into the hallway passing the bathroom for the door that went out back. I pushed it open, seeing Jude leaning against the wall looking up at the sky. He looked over at me, his face shiny with tears. His lip trembled more when he saw me.
“Sam—” his voice broke and I reached for him immediately.
“Baby,” I said, pulling him into my arms, forgetting about Forest who was right behind me.
“Why did he do that?” he cried. “What is he doing back? Did he call you? Is it bad that I was happy to see him? For a second I wanted to jump into his arms.”
“I did that because I got jealous,” Forest said, as Jude froze in my arms. “I came back because I’m an idiot who left because I was scared. I didn’t call Sam because I was afraid you wouldn’t want to see me. I hope it's good that you wanted to see me.”
Jude shivered in my embrace, looking up at me, so lost just like his old self. A cold gust of wind hit us, and I realized we didn’t have our jackets.
“I’m sorry, I saw his hands on you and I flipped out. I shouldn’t have done that,” he said, walking around me so he was in both of our lines of sight.
Dammit, why was Forest so damn gorgeous? He was disheveled, his five o’clock shadow was more beard-like and he was dressed in sweats, a hoodie, and a puffer jacket with a fucking backwards hat. I don’t think I had ever seen him dressed so relaxed in public. Forest looked so young like this.
“We aren’t yours anymore,” Jude murmured, just loud enough to hear over the noise from The Boozy Bandit.
“I know. I fucked up my relationship with you the moment I left without saying goodbye.” He ran his hand over his mouth.
“I was a coward and I thought my only option was leaving.
I've been doing it for almost ten years.
It's the only thing I know how to do and I left without thinking things through.”
“We were just a stop,” I said, throwing his words back at him.
He huffed looking at us. “You were far from a stop; you gave me a home.”
I clenched my jaw, looking away, holding Jude closer when I heard Forest take a step closer to us. My lip trembled as I looked back at him taking off his jacket and putting it around Jude’s shoulders. I wrapped my arms around Jude, keeping the jacket on him.
“It took me leaving to realize that while I was here in Sterling Ridge, it was the first time I actually lived my life without wondering or looking for the next stop,” he sighed, looking up at us with his eyes glassy.
“I was present for the first time in my life and I forgot what it was like to live and not run.”
“How do we know you won’t run again?” I asked.
“What happens if you get scared again?” Jude asked.
“I won’t. Now that I know what it's like to live, I can’t go back to the way I used to live before,” he said, as he reached out to us, but stopped himself.
“My leaving was rash and stupid. I can’t imagine life without either of you.
I’ll earn your trust back, I’ll do whatever it takes, just please, please give… give me a chance.”
It was everything I wished he would have said days ago.
“Can we go inside? I don’t like that we are outside and you don’t have jackets on,” Forest said before we could say anything.
“Yeah, come on, you're shivering,” I said to Jude, turning around to open the door.
We walked into the hallway, but Jude turned around before we could go any further.
“I hated that you reduced Sam and I to just a notch on your bedpost,” he growled. “I hated that you thought this was nothing, that we were nothing to you when you were everything to us.”
“I was fooling myself thinking you were nothing when you’ve been so much more since that first time we kissed, and that first time I brought you guys over.
You’ve always felt like mine, like we just fit naturally together.
No matter how much I fought it, I was powerless against you guys,” he said, standing close to us.
“I want us somewhere together, whether that's here in Sterling Ridge, in Toronto or you can pick the place and I’ll follow. I don’t care where I’m at, as long as I’m with you guys. ”
Jude sniffled as we glanced at each other.
“Forest—” My voice was lost in the sea of commotion from the bar.
I pulled Forest towards us as I pulled an arm around Jude. Forest's mouth moved, but the bar’s noise grew louder.
“Don’t make me regret loving you again,” Jude said, at least that's what I thought he said and just when I was about to yell, the bar started to count down.
“Ten, nine, eight—”
Forest pulled us close together. “I want a new beginning, a life where I’m not running and I get to live with both of you by my side.”
“Three, two, ONE!”
“I love you,” he said.
I pulled away in shock, thinking I had misheard, but he mouthed the words again. Jude kissed Forest first as the bar cheered for the New Year. Forest pulled me in for a quick kiss until we were all kissing each other. It was a new year, a new beginning and there was no better way to start it.