Chapter 17
Chapter Seventeen
SORROW
I jolt awake when I realize someone is shaking me.
I scramble back, too many unwanted memories putting me in self-protection mode, where I automatically make myself smaller.
I tug my knees to my chest and wrap my arms around them.
It isn’t until I feel the bed dip and a hand running gently up and down my back that I realize I’m not under attack.
“It’s just me, Sorrow.”
I look up and swallow nervously when I see how close he is, conscious of the fact that I’m wearing just a T-shirt with nothing underneath.
He presses a kiss to my forehead before he gets up and walks to the dresser. He rummages around and comes up with a pair of black sweatpants. He throws them at me. I catch them as he pulls out a gray pair for himself.
“They’ll be a little big, but they’ll do.”
I stare at them, confused, before getting to my feet. I look over at him, wondering what’s happening, when my brain snags on the gray sweatpants he slides on. Or, more importantly, what they’re doing an excellent job of outlining.
My brain glitches as I stare at the dips just below his hips that are exposed, thanks to the pants riding low. Dear God, I think I’m having a stroke.
“Sorrow?”
I shake my head, my thoughts sluggish in the way I imagine zombies get when they are hungry for brains. Only I’m hungry for d—”
“Sorrow? The cops are waiting for us. You okay?”
And just like that, a bucket of cold water is poured all over my flaming libido.
I nod, ducking my head as I feel my cheeks flame, scrambling to get the sweatpants on. I lose my footing and stumble into the bed and almost end up on my ass. Banner is across the room, keeping me steady before I can even process the fact that he’s moved.
I look up at him and feel my breath catch in my throat, and the searing heat in his eyes.
And that’s when I realize his hand is on my ass. My bare ass.
“You naked under my shirt, baby?” His voice comes out rough with need.
I like to think I’m tough. Okay, toughish. I’ve been to prison, dammit, so why is it that one sentence makes me want to swoon like some love-struck book heroine with her head in the clouds?
“Fuck. You’re killing me.”
I bite my lip innocently in a what did I do kind of way, which has him narrowing his eyes at me.
He takes the sweatpants from my hands and gets down on his knees.
“Foot.”
I lick my lips and lift my leg a little higher than needed, giving him a little flash of what I’m hiding.
He groans low and deep, and I swear I feel that in my bones. My toes curl as I grip his shoulders and lift the other leg into the leg of the pants. He, oh so slowly, slides them up my legs, his fingertips blazing a path up my overheated skin.
“We need to go now before I throw my morals out the window.”
Meh, morals are overrated.
But when he grabs my hand and tugs me out of the room, I don’t put up a fight. As the lust clears, sanity prevails, and I mentally scold myself for encouraging my inner hussy.
You’d think she’d have learned her lesson.
But, after years of being on a restrictive diet, she’s ready to get her freak on and gorge herself until bloated—consequences be damned.
If it were anyone but Banner, I might let myself run a little wild because I missed out on that.
But Banner has always been my kryptonite.
Playing with him is like playing with fire, and I’m so fucking tired of getting burned.
When we make it downstairs, I’m surprised to see Wade standing just inside the doorway. Banner looks at him and curses before looking at me.
“Be right back. Stay with Wade.”
I look at him, bemused, as he runs back up the stairs. I walk over to Wade, who offers me a tired smile. I give him one in return, but it falls from my face when I catch a glimpse over his shoulder and see who is standing just behind him. I take a step back, not wanting that man anywhere near me.
“Hey, it’s okay.” Wade moves closer to me as the rookie glares at me.
“Step back, Denny. You’re intimidating her on purpose.”
“I’m doing my job.”
“Yeah, this doing your job too?” He indicates the bruising on my face.
The cop, standing silent next to the rookie—or Denny, I guess—turns slowly to glare at him.
“You did that?”
“I told you what happened,” he snaps back.
“I can show you what happened, Chris. Something tells me Denny’s version is very different from the truth. As there is a complaint filed against him regarding Miss Wells, I’d love to know what the fuck he’s doing here, anyway.”
“The chief ordered him to come with me,” Chris offers quietly.
“I just bet he did.”
“I’m back. Sorrow, I’ve got your attorney, Olivia, on the phone,” Banner states, walking back over to me. His words, though, are for the cops, to remind them I have more than just him on my side.
“And you don’t think that’s a conflict of interest?” Denny snaps at Wade.
Wade crosses his arms. “Why? She ain’t my attorney.”
I bite back a laugh, not wanting to get into any more trouble.
“Hey, Sorrow, you okay?”
Banner tips his cell phone down so I can see Olivia, who is makeup-free and in her PJs. I feel bad for being the reason she’s awake.
I nod before looking to the cops.
“Okay, boys, you wanna fill us in? It’s late, and my client has had an extremely unsettling week.”
That’s one way of putting it.
The police officer beside the rookie launches into why they’re here, making me frown. I suppose I should have expected it, despite Olivia thinking they’d give me a break.
“Can you talk us through your version of events? Or write them down if that’s easier,” Chris adds as an afterthought.
He hands me a notepad and pen, so I go over my day from start to finish. If they’re okay with wasting my time, then I’m happy to return the favor. I add as much detail as possible before handing it back, ignoring Wade’s amused smirk. He knows exactly what I’m doing.
“So you haven’t been back to your property except for the short period of time when you were accompanied by Mr. Bannerman?”
I shake my head.
“Were you noisy together?” Denny smirks.
“Do not answer that,” Olivia bites out. I don’t need to look at Wade or Banner to know they are just as pissed by his tone and implication.
“I think it would be wise if Mr. Dennison removed himself from this case and anything related to Miss Wells. We shall be seeking an order of protection against him. His behavior is antagonistic and bordering on harassment, making my client fearful of him,” she adds, even though I’m mostly angry right now.
“What the fuck? You can’t get protection against a police officer who is just doing his job,” he huffs, but everyone else remains silent.
“Just go, Denny. I’ll finish up here.” The other cop sighs.
“Oh, I see how it is, Chris. Well fuck you. Fuck you all. The chief will hear about this. You think you’re so self-righteous, but I can only imagine your parents’ faces when they find out you’re fucking their son’s murderer.”
It takes me a second to realize that barb was aimed at Banner, but I feel the blow of his words.
Banner is rigid beside me, but he says nothing.
I can hear Olivia shouting, but it’s as if she’s in a tunnel.
I sway on my feet. Wade grabs my arm and stops me from going down as Chris apologizes profusely before telling Denny he’s done as he drags him out.
I stand frozen. All I’d thought about was how this was affecting me, but this has the potential to ruin Banner’s life.
Banner tugs me into his arms, murmuring something, but I can’t shake the feeling of how wrong this all is.
What am I doing? I’m supposed to be fixing up my mom’s house and leaving.
Fucking around with Banner and then running away is a coward’s move, one that leaves him to deal with the fallout. I refuse to let that happen.
I pull back and wave off his concern. I look at Wade, who is talking to Olivia, and then back to Banner, who is watching me like a hawk.
I point to my chest before pointing out the door to my mom’s house.
He shakes his head. “I want you to stay.” He reaches for me again, but I take a step back, feeling tears prick my eyes.
I point to myself once more and back out the door, this time mouthing that I want to leave. He runs his fingers through his hair in frustration, but I think he can tell I’ve hit my limit.
“Why don’t you wait until the morning at least?”
I let my eyes slip closed, feeling tears build behind them.
He’s not seeing the bigger picture, not yet. He will eventually, and then it will be one more thing for him to hate me for.
I shake my head, my eyes opening to release the tears.
“Fuck, baby, please don’t cry.”
“Hey, what’s going on?” Wade walks over after hanging up and handing the phone back to Banner.
“She wants to leave.”
I look at Wade and wait for him to argue with me, but whatever he sees on my face stops him in his tracks.
“Okay, go grab what you need, and I’ll walk you over.”
I dip my head in gratitude and hurry upstairs without giving Banner a backward glance.
I grab my dirty clothes and trade out the sweatpants for the shorts I wore before, forgoing the underwear, which I stuff in my pocket.
I keep the T-shirt on and tug my hoodie over the top, unwilling to part with the T-shirt just yet.
I tug the hair tie from my wrist and pull my hair up into a messy bun before heading back downstairs.
I don’t know what they’re talking about when I walk back into the room, but as they both go quiet, it’s safe to assume it’s me.
Wade cuts through the awkwardness by walking over to me. “You ready?”
I nod and grab my backpack from by the door where Banner left it. I slip it over my shoulder and turn to look at Banner. There is so much I want to say, but even if I could find my voice, I think words would fail me now. The divide between us has never felt wider than it does right now.
When he walks over to me, I don’t have the strength to pull away. I look up at him and hope he can read everything on my face that I can’t say.
I’m sorry, I love you, forgive me.
He dips his head and brushes his lips over mine. I know he can taste the salt of my tears, but he doesn’t comment on it as he pulls away.
“Take care of her.” His voice comes out thick with emotion as he talks to Wade. I think he knows this is it, that everything we could have been will never bloom. How can anything grow from the dirt of my life when his brother’s bones lie buried between us?
I follow Wade out and walk to the end of the path before turning one last time to look at him.
The light behind Banner illuminates his blonde hair and highlights his dark expression.
He’s always been a contradiction to me—the tattooed bad boy who loves his family, the wanderer who always came home, and the man who, in another life, would have been mine.
With a shuddering breath, I turn away and jolt when I hear the door close firmly behind us.
“It’s going to be okay, Sorrow. Things have a way of working themselves out,” Wade says softly.
And when have things ever worked out in my favor? I don’t say anything; I just let Wade walk me home.
He watches for me to step inside and lock up, so that’s what I do, waving goodbye from the window.
I wait until he’s out of view before I head for the kitchen.
I grab a bottle of water from the fridge and drink it down, taking a moment to get my thoughts together before I unlock the door to the garage and relock it behind me.
I move to my van, toss my bag on the passenger seat, and climb in.
I adjust the seat that had been moved during the search earlier and use the garage opener to open the door.
I reverse out, keeping my gaze averted from Banner’s house, and head back to the hotel. It might not be the best solution, but I need to put some distance between us before I give in to my selfish wants and desires, and I run back to him.