Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
BANNER
I sip at my coffee, ignoring the burn as it goes down, and my brain replays Sorrow’s wounded expression as she left. Oh, she wanted to go. I have no doubt about that. That’s why I didn’t push her to stay, but she wanted to go for all the wrong reasons.
Or maybe they seem wrong to me. She plans to leave as soon as the house is ready to go on the market.
And then what happens to us? I don’t plan on leaving Tempest. I have Katy, my parents, not to mention the job I love, along with the guys I consider brothers.
I have no clue what Sorrow does with her life now.
Does she have a house, a job, and people she loves and cares about, and is unwilling to leave behind?
The whole thing is a mess, and that’s not even thinking about the fallout with my parents that’s bound to happen.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Aiden asks as he walks in and takes the seat on the opposite side of my desk.
“Not sure they’re worth that right now.”
“This have something to do with a certain dark-haired girl?”
I glare at him, but he sips his drink, his eyes sparkling with mirth.
“A lot has happened in the last few days. Forgive me if I can’t find the humor in it.”
He sighs and leans forward, placing his mug on the desk. “Alright, I get that. Tell me what I’ve missed. If you’re working through shit—well, two heads are better than one.”
I sigh and lean back, filling him in on what went down last night, not hiding how close we came to crossing a line I’m not sure either of us could come back from.
“You’re in love with her.”
“I know. Marcus told me.”
He laughs at that before shaking his head. “How did you not figure it out yourself?”
“Because nothing is ever simple. I feel a lot toward Sorrow, and not all of it good.”
“Because of Alec?”
“Yeah. Because of Alec. When I’m with her, I forget all about him. What kind of brother does that make me?”
“One that’s still alive. I’m not trying to be a dick here, but Alec is gone. He’s not coming back. You and Sorrow are here. If you can’t figure this out between you, then you need to be prepared for her to figure it out with someone else.”
I rub my hands over my face, feeling so fucking tired. “I slept in my car last night, parked outside her hotel room. I heard her leave, and I just had to follow her. I needed her to be safe,” I admit.
He doesn’t rib me for it. He looks at me, waiting for me to continue.
“She’s leaving soon.”
“So ask her to stay. And before you say it’s not that easy, don’t forget who my woman is and what she left behind to come live here.”
“Matilda is happier here than she ever was in Hollywood. I’m not sure this town could ever be Sorrow’s happy place. People want her out as much as she wants to be gone.”
“You’re Jake fucking Bannerman. If anyone can turn people’s thoughts and perceptions around, it’s you. Alec was your brother, so if you can find a way to move past this, then so can everyone fucking else.”
I tap my fingers on the edge of my desk, wondering if he’s right. Are people that fickle?
The door opens, and Marcus pokes his head in. “You got a visitor.”
Judging from the look on his face, I can already guess who it is.
“Want me to bring her back here?”
“Nah. I’ll come out.”
Marcus nods as I stand and brace myself for what’s about to come.
I head out and see some of my guys hovering, not because they’re nosy bastards, but because they want to make sure I’m okay.
I walk into the reception area and see my mother, wearing her pink twinset and pearls, with her wrinkle-free pants and immaculately styled hair. I wonder, like I often do, how she managed to produce a kid like me.
She wrings her hands until her gaze lands on mine, and then her expression hardens. “You have some explaining to do.”
“This is my place of work. You don’t have to like it, but you’ll damn well respect it. Now, let’s take a walk.”
“No, I want to have this out now!” she snaps as I move toward her and gently take her elbow, steering her toward the door.
“Unfortunately for you, Mother, we can’t always have what we want. What I want is for you to keep your voice down. But clearly, that won’t happen, so we’ll take a walk. If you’re going to air our dirty laundry, we might as well let all of Tempest know.”
I open the door and usher her out, stopping when Blake calls my name.
“You good?”
“Ask me when I get back.”
I close the door behind us and take her elbow once more, guiding her past the busy stores until we reach the park.
She whirls on me, her face a mask of fury.
“You’re fucking your brother’s whore, his murderer?
” she screams in my face, shocking the shit out of me.
My mother is many things, but she tries to act like a lady always, or whatever she thinks that means.
I think I’ve only heard her swear once before, and that was years ago.
“Firstly, watch your mouth. Sorrow is not a whore, and I’m not fucking anyone, not that it’s any of your business who I fuck.”
“It is if you want your inheritance. You clearly have zero taste, so we will pick a suitable bride.”
I hold my hand up. “I have no idea where that bullshit just came from, and I’m going to pretend it’s just something you said due to heightened emotions.
I’m not planning on getting married, and if I were, it wouldn’t be to some Stepford wannabe you picked out.
I don’t give a shit about my inheritance.
All that aside, though, this isn’t why you came to see me. ”
I take a deep breath and run my fingers through my hair, trying to put myself in her shoes.
“You had that…that girl in your home…in your bed.”
“I was doing my job. There is a lot of shit going down in this town right now, and she was hurt. The cops have singled her out. She—”
“Deserves everything that happens to her. My son is dead because of her. It should be her lying in the ground, not Alec, not my baby.”
There is nothing I can say to make this easier on her, nothing that will change the outcome, so I say nothing and let her vent until silence falls between us.
“Get rid of her.”
“My job here is to keep her safe until she leaves, that is all.”
“Bullshit, I don’t believe you. I saw the way you sniffed around her when she was just a kid. Why do you think Alec showed a sudden interest in her? Anything to compete with his big brother. And look where that got him.”
“So it’s my fault now? Mine for liking a girl, Sorrow’s for a tragic accident. But never Alec’s for getting into the fucking car and not wearing a seatbelt.”
“Don’t you say his name and hers in the same sentence. Damn you.”
“You need to calm down and pull yourself together. None of this will bring Alec back.”
“You think I don’t know that? Everything is ruined because of her. And now I’m going to do everything I can to ruin her right back,”
“Grow up,” I snap. She moves to slap me, but I catch her wrist. “You leave her alone, and then she’ll be gone.
” I keep my voice even and calm because my mom is far from rational right now.
I didn’t realize how far off the deep end she had gone until this moment.
Her hatred toward Sorrow is overriding everything else, and I’m not sure what that means for Sorrow or the rest of us.
Until I have more information, I do the only thing I can think of—downplay everything.
“Like I said, she’s just a job, one I’m going to pass on to someone else.
I don’t want her here any more than you do.
But I also don’t want her to be an excuse good people use to go astray, like with Denny.
How can the people of Tempest ever trust the police if they are willing to assault someone, whether deserved or not? ”
I hear a sharp intake of breath and feel my stomach drop to my feet. Somehow I know Sorrow is here, and she just heard all that crap spew out of my mouth. I want to turn around and beg forgiveness, but I don’t want my mother’s attention on Sorrow for a single second.
“You’re right, of course. We shouldn’t stoop to her level. I…may have gotten a little overwrought.”
“I think you should head home and lie down. Perhaps have some of that tea you like.”
“Yes, yes, that’s a good idea.”
“Do you want me to drive you home?”
“I’m perfectly capable of driving myself home, Jake,” she tuts before turning and heading back toward the office. I walk silently beside her, feeling like I’m about to come out of my skin. I keep my mouth shut and my body loose, acting for all the world like I’m relaxed when I’m anything but.
I open her door for her when we arrive at her car. Before she gets in, she cups my cheek. As I look into her eyes, I realize how old and frail she looks. It is one of those moments I’m sure everyone has, when they realize their parents won’t always be with them.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers.
“I know, Mom.”
“I just…I can’t—won’t—go through that again.”
She gets in the car before I can say anything else. I step back and wait on the curb for her to drive away before I take off back toward the park, sprinting as fast as I can. I know it’s futile. She’ll be long gone by now, but I have to try. Fuck!
I find the place deserted. I grip my hair and curse.
I make my way back to the office, thinking up a plan. I need to track her down. I can’t let her think I meant any of that shit—the fact I didn’t immediately go after her made everything ten times worse. Hell, if I were her, I’m not sure I’d believe me either.
I shove the door to the offices open and storm in, heading back to my office for my keys.
“Whoa, hey, I take it didn’t go well?” Aiden says, taking me in.
“There is no reasoning with her about this. I tried to downplay everything to calm her down, but Sorrow was there and heard me. What the fuck was she even doing there? Of all the shitty luck.”
I grab my keys from my desk and turn back to face him. “I’ve gotta go track her down. I need to make things right.”
“You need a hand?”
“She doesn’t know you. I don’t think she’d trust you.”
“I can at least help you look and call if I spot her.”
“Yeah, okay, that would be good.” I walk back out to reception and see Felix and Marcus in the corner while Blake is talking on the phone.
“Where are you two off to?”
“Gotta go find Sorrow. I said some shit she shouldn’t have heard. It’s a long story,” I tell Marcus.
Marcus frowns. “I’ve got a couple of hours to kill before my appointment turns up.”
“Yeah, and court finished early today, so I’m free for the rest of the afternoon,” Felix adds.
“You guys sure?”
“Wouldn’t offer if we didn’t want to help.” Marcus shrugs.
Blake hangs up before crossing his arms across his chest. “I’ll hold down the fort. I’ve got Wade coming in, and the fucking mayor wants a meeting, God help me. Arlo is due back in an hour, so we should be good. Go find your girl.”
“She’s not my girl.”
“Yet,” everyone echoes, making Marcus snort.
I follow the guys outside.
“Okay, I’ll go check the hotel she’s staying at,” Marcus states.
“I’ll go by the house,” Aiden offers, but I shake my head.
“She won’t open the door to you even if she is in.”
“I doubt she’ll answer the door to you either right now.”
I huff out a laugh, even though it’s anything but funny. “Touche, motherfucker. Still, she might open it to smack me one, so I’ll give it a shot.
“I’ll go talk to Olivia. Maybe she’s hiding out there,” Aiden says.
I nod. “Can’t hurt to ask.”
“I’ll wander around town then, see if I can spot her.” Felix shrugs, knowing that’s the most unlikely option of all. Though, saying that, I never expected to see her at the park.
I slap him on the back. “Alright, I’ll catch you guys later. And thanks for this. I mean, I appreciate it.”
“It’s nothing you wouldn’t do for one of us.” Aiden shrugs.
I head to my truck, not wanting to waste more time.
I already know she’s not there when I pull up, but I check anyway.
I look in through the windows and head around back, but the place is too quiet.
I’d jimmy the back door open if I thought she was inside, but it’s pointless now.
I pull out my cell phone and dial her, but it rings and rings before cutting to the automated voice mail, telling me to leave my contact info after the beep.
“Sorrow, it’s Banner. Look, what you heard…it wasn’t what it seemed. My mom was in a rage. I was trying to get her to calm down. I know that’s no excuse for the shit that I said, but I didn’t want her rage focused on you. You’ve been through enough and—”
The phone beeps, and it cuts out.
“For fuck sake.”
I start texting.
I didn’t mean anything I said to her. I’m sorry I hurt you. That was never my intention. Please let me apologize in person. Just text me where you are, and I’ll come to you. I’ll make this right, I swear.
I wait, wondering where to go next, when my phone pings with an incoming message. I blow out a relieved sigh when I see it’s from Sorrow. I open it and groan at the two-word answer.
Fuck you.
It takes me three hours to find her. When I push the door to the diner open, I can feel the unwelcome vibes rolling through the place.
I glance around and see Sorrow in the back.
Her shoulders are hunched, her head down, with a half-empty glass of lemonade in front of her.
As I walk close, I hear the discontent coming from the other tables—the whispered judgments and name-calling, the sarcastic quips and sharp barbs—all aimed at the woman who is slowly fading before my eyes.
Fuck this.
I glare at anyone who catches my eye. Nina, the waitress behind the counter, has a harried expression on her face.
When I reach the table, I stop. “Sorrow.”
Her head whips up, and she scowls at me before jumping to her feet. I see the dried tear tracks on her face and want to set fire to everyone who made her cry, myself included.
“What you think you heard—”
She shoves me before I can continue.
“I was downplaying everything just to get her to shut up and leave.”
Another shove, and this time I go back a step.
“I don’t want her targeting you, and it was the only thing I could think—”
She shoves me again before swiping fresh tears from her face, wincing when she notices everyone watching. She dips her head, but I slide my fingers under her jaw and tip her head back.
“No more hiding.”
She huffs in disbelief.
I tilt my head. “Wait, that’s what you think I’m doing? Hiding you? You think I’m ashamed of whatever this is?”
She shrugs, but she won’t look at me. The truth is, maybe I should be ashamed. People will judge us for this, without a doubt. Turns out, I just don’t give a fuck.
“Sorrow.”
She rolls her eyes but eventually looks up at me. I do what I wanted to do the second she rolled back into town. I lower my mouth to hers and kiss her.