Chapter 30
Chapter Thirty
SORROW
“Guilty.”
The people of Tempest were up in arms, complaining that they got off too easy.
But I’m strangely okay with it. It was never about punishment for me.
It was about validation. I wanted people to know the truth.
Besides, they lost their son. I’m not sure any punishment could compare with that, regardless of what kind of man Alec was.
“Here.”
I look up as Banner sits beside me on the top step of the deck and hands me a mug of coffee.
“We need to get some furniture for out here before you end up with splinters in your ass.”
“It’s okay, I know a man who’ll be more than happy to kiss it better.”
“Is that right?” He grins before taking a sip of his drink. “So, Katy wants to meet me for lunch. She says she wants to talk to me about something. Do you have any idea what that might be?”
“Maybe.”
“That’s all I’m getting? Maybe? And here I was thinking I was the love of your life.”
“You’re also a big boy and don’t need me playing go-between for you and your sister.”
He grumbles but says nothing else.
“Stop worrying so much.”
“I can’t help it. She’s my baby sister, and I’ve fucked up so much.”
“You didn’t. You didn’t know what was happening, Banner, and you weren’t here for most of it. Cut yourself some slack.”
“Ugh, you’re right.”
“It’s been known to happen.”
“Smart ass.” He chuckles.
“All you’ve gotta do is be there for her. It really is that simple. She’s eighteen in a couple of weeks. She’s not looking for you to be her dad, just her brother. And you’re a good brother, Banner. That’s why she adores you.”
“I am pretty awesome,” he admits.
“And modest, too.”
“You sure you don’t want to come with me?”
“No. I’ve got something I need to do myself. You’re gonna be fine. I promise. Just be your usual supportive self.”
He narrows his eyes. That was as much of a clue as he’s going to get from me. I innocently sip my coffee.
We sit in silence for a little while, enjoying the peace. But the second I finish my drink, he places his cup down and yanks me into his lap.
“I love you.”
I press my forehead to his. “I know. I love you too.”
“You love me enough to let me fuck you right here and now?”
I grin, feeling myself getting wet already. “I’m sure I could be persuaded.”
“Hmm…is that right?” His hands slide under the hem of my sundress and glide up my thighs until he reaches my ass. He pulls me closer so I can feel his hard length between us. I rock against him as he moves his lips to my neck and starts kissing me softly.
I shiver and feel my panties dampen.
Slipping a hand between us, he opens the little buttons at my chest before tugging the material lower, revealing my lace-covered breast. He sucks at my nipple through the lace until it hardens. He sucks it into his mouth, making me gasp.
“Oh God,” I moan as he alternates between sucking and biting.
“You keep making those noises, and I’m going to come before I’m even inside you,” he warns me.
I pull back and lift onto my knees. Holding my dress up so he can see me, I pull the lace of my underwear aside and show him just how wet I am. “Then fuck me already.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He pops open the fly of his jeans and, with a bit of maneuvering, frees his hard cock. He strokes it up and down before gripping the base. “You want this?”
I nod, breathless.
“Then come get it.”
I grip his shoulder with my free hand for balance and keep my dress up with the other as I position myself over him. I don’t want him to miss the show.
His eyes stay fastened to my pussy as I slowly slide myself down his cock, both of us groaning when I take him all.
I let go of the dress and hold on with both hands as I adjust to his size.
When I start to move, his hands go back to my ass, helping guide my movements.
I ride him slowly, driving us both mad with need.
I pick up speed. I won’t be able to hold out much longer, but I want him to follow me over the edge.
“You gonna come, Sorrow?”
“Yes,” I gasp when he hits a deliciously tender spot inside me.
“Fuck! Come with me, baby. I want you to soak me while I fill you up.”
I throw my head back and feel myself clamp down tightly around him. He growls my name a second before I feel him swell inside me.
He wraps his arms around me tightly. He keeps me moving when my legs have turned to jelly, so I can ride out the waves of pleasure. By the time we’re done, I’m completely limp in his arms.
“Who knew my happy place would be buried inside you?”
I lift my head and cup his jaw before kissing him softly. “You did. You always knew. You were just waiting for me to catch up.”
After helping me clean up—I mean stripping me off and fucking me in the shower—we both get redressed and head out.
“So where is it you want me to drop you off?”
With my van at the garage, I get to play passenger princess today. Unfortunately, that means I can’t get away with not telling him where I’m going.
“The cemetery.”
He’s quiet for a moment as we come to a stop at the junction.
“Do you want company? Katy won’t mind if I’m late.”
“No, this is something I need to do on my own.” I’m ready this time.
“You sure?”
When I offer him a nod and what I hope is a reassuring smile, he sighs and gives in.
“Okay, I’ll pick you up when I’m done. But if you need me, Sorrow, just call me and I’ll be there.”
“I know you will. But Katy needs you to be all about her today. I promise if it becomes too much, I’ll call one of the guys. How’s that?”
He grumbles but doesn’t argue. It can’t always be him who’s there for me.
“I know you worry, and I love you for it. But it’s because of you I have all these brothers now. You want me to feel comfortable calling them, right?”
“You know I do.”
“Good. Then stop worrying. I’m going to be fine.”
We pull up outside the cemetery and climb out. The wind has picked up, making my hair fly around my head. I wish I’d brought something warmer to go over my sundress than the thin little cardigan. This damn weather needs to make up its mind.
His arms encircle my waist. “I won’t be long.”
“Take as long as you need. I’m not going anywhere.”
He kisses the tip of my nose before walking back around to the driver’s side and climbing in. I wait until he’s out of sight before I slip through the gates and make my way to the first of two graves I’ve come to visit today.
I’m surprised to find the place empty. It’s always quiet—it’s a cemetery after all. But there is usually at least one other person here, paying respects and tending to flowers.
Walking over to my mom’s grave, I look down at her headstone and feel an unexpected pang of sadness for all that could have been, and all that was lost.
Claire Wells
1976-2025
That’s all it says. Imagine spending all that time on earth making connections with people from all walks of life and having nobody left to remember you except a girl you hated.
Thinking about it makes me feel bitter, and that’s not what I want.
After finding the photos in her room that day, it’s weird to realize I have many things in common with her.
I used to think she hated me because of how different we were, but maybe it wasn’t that.
Perhaps it was that we were too alike, and she knew that nothing but heartache awaited me if I continued down the road I was traveling.
I wished she had told me. I wished I could say with a hundred percent certainty that I’d have believed her.
That I’d have listened and altered my course.
But first love for a teenage girl has the pull of gravity and the direction of a spinning compass.
There is no rhyme or reason to it. You spin in dizzying circles until you get thrown from the wreckage, or you land on your feet and find your way home.
“I thought I’d have a million things to say.” I look around and wonder if anyone other than me has been down this way to see her.
“Truth is, I don’t know where to start. How do you talk to a stranger? I couldn’t do it when you were staring back at me with the same eyes as mine. And I can’t do it now, knowing one day I’ll look at my daughter with the eyes her grandmother once had.
“It feels like fate messed up with us somehow, or maybe we just read all the signs wrong. I don’t know anymore. What I do know is that it’s time to let you go.”
I run my fingers over the cold marble. “I hope you find peace in the next life. Bye, Mom.”
Forcing out a shaky breath, I turn and walk away. I won’t come back. I’m glad she’s not hurting anymore, but I don’t mourn her like a normal person would mourn their mother. We were never that. All I feel as I put distance between us is free.
Making my way to the other side of the cemetery where the mausoleums are, I contemplate what to do with my mother’s house. Do we still sell it, with no guarantee of who our neighbors would be, or burn it down like Banner wanted in the first place?
The wind picks up again as I move out of the sun and to the more shaded part of the plot.
I tug my cardigan a little tighter and turn my attention to the colorful flowers adorning Alec’s grave, knowing they’re from Leanne.
I feel a pang of guilt over the stark difference between this grave and my mother’s, but I shake it off. It’s not the same.
I take a seat on the grass and cast my eyes over his headstone.
Alec Bannerman
2001-2019
Forever 18.
Beloved Son and Brother.
I bring my knees up to my chest. “In another life, that would have said beloved father too. Part of me wishes you’d lived and grown old with that knowledge for the rest of your days. You killed our baby, Alec. And you left me to carry the shame and guilt when it was never mine to carry.”
I swallow around a lump in my throat, tugging my cardigan tighter.
“I can’t visit our baby’s grave, or plant pretty flowers around her tombstone so she knows she was loved, so she knows I haven’t forgotten her.
You took that from me. You took a lot of things from me.
My innocence, my trust, my love. But that was the worst. You took everything I gave you and twisted it up until it was this ugly, toxic mess.
And still, I stayed because I didn’t know I deserved better. Not until you took her.”
I wipe my face when I feel my tears slip free.
“You left behind a legacy of pain and destruction. Does that make you happy? Do you feel like a real man now? Because you shouldn’t.
Real men build you up. They don’t break you down.
They hold you together when the whole world feels like it is falling apart.
Your brother taught me that. He’s everything you could have been and everything you’ll never be because you were weak, and he’s strong. ”
I let out a shuddering sigh and look to the sky.
“Imagine knowing the world is a better place without you in it. Katy’s safe, I’m free, Jake is happy, and your parents are finally realizing what a fucked-up piece of shit you were.
Not that I have much sympathy for them. They watched a man become a monster and did nothing to warn anyone of the danger they were in. ”
When the wind blows my hair around, I smooth it down, tucking it behind my ear.
I look up at the sky, which is turning gray, and frown.
I don’t remember rain in the forecast today.
I get to my feet, feeling the chill in the air.
Truthfully, there’s no reason to stay any longer. I’ve said everything I needed to say.
I let my memories of our time together wash over me —the good, the bad, and the absolutely tragic —and for once, it doesn’t bring me to my knees. I take a deep, soothing breath and blow it back out again.
Maybe I’ve been looking at it all wrong. Or perhaps the truth did set me free. Because I realize I am strong. All the times he made me feel small and weak, yet I’m the one who survived. I’m the one still standing, and God willing, I’ll be the one who ends up living a beautiful life.
“Well, Alec, thanks for the tickets to the shitshow. I hope your next performance involves you burning in hell.” I flip off the gravestone.
I turn to walk away but come to an abrupt stop when I see someone standing in front of me. I take a step back when I get a look at their face. “What are you doing here?”
“What am I doing here? What the fuck are you doing here? Come here to gloat, did you? Poor little Sorrow. Fuck you. Everything was fine until you came back. Now you ruined everything.”
I take another step back, my hand slipping into my pocket for my phone.
“He’s gone. He’s really fucking gone.”
I open my mouth, but before I can speak, I’m cut off again.
“How am I supposed to live without him?”
Before I can react, I’m shoved hard in the chest, and I’m falling. A scream rips from my lips before my head hits something hard with a sickening thud, and then I feel nothing at all.