Chapter 6
SIX
It’s already late, and I’m wiping down the tables in preparation for closing the restaurant for the night. Saylor got pulled away again half an hour ago, and I’m dreading the night ahead. I’m still full of nerves about seeing them, and I don’t think I will sleep a wink.
I don’t know if I can stay here if I’m alone half the time.
Tally is sitting behind the counter near the kitchen, counting the money in the register, and Tim’s leaning against it, talking to Mac, who’s cleaning up the kitchen.
As I approach the final table, the door to the restaurant slams open, and I jump, letting go of the cloth, which lands on the table with a wet slap.
“Siren!” I turn to find Nash and North rushing inside, their expressions a mix of shock and regret. My pulse quickens, and my hands slightly tremble as I try to maintain my composure.
Fuck, I thought I had at least some time before I had to see them again.
They look like hot messes, with ruffled hair and tired eyes. North is a step behind his brother, and he looks twice as wrecked, his dark stubble now a beard, and the long part of his brown waves are mushed on his head like he has pushed his fingers through the strands nonstop.
A look into the bathroom mirror earlier told me I also have dark circles under my eyes, and my skin is too pale, so I know I look like shit. But I’m sickly satisfied at how they look like they had just as bad of days as I had.
Karma.
“We were on our way home when we saw your van out there,” Nash explains as they approach. “Are you okay?”
I hold up my hand, making them stop in their tracks. “Stay where you are.”
“Where the fuck were you? How can you be so reckless and unsafe?” North bellows, and I lean away from him.
What a fucking dick.
“Shut the fuck up, and don’t use that tone with her,” Nash turns and shouts at North, pushing his finger into his chest.
What is even happening?
North appears shocked, as if he just realized what he’d done. “Blue,” he pleads, his voice now soft. “I’m sorry. Just… hear us out, please?”
I don’t know what surprised me more, his sudden outburst or the gentle tone he’s using now. My chest tightens, and I take a shallow breath to steady myself.
Don’t let them see how much they hurt you, Sloan.
They didn’t want you, didn’t believe you.
They don’t respect you.
“We were so wrong, pretty girl,” Nash adds earnestly. “We shouldn’t have doubted you.”
I take a step back, my heart feeling like it’s lodged in my throat. I reach out for the cloth, needing something to hold on to, trying to keep it from slipping from my trembling fingers. “You had your chance to believe in me,” I retort, my tone icy, though it quivers ever so slightly.
Fuck.
I feel warmth at my back, then Tally asks, “You okay?”
I step next to her, nodding, even though I’m anything but. Having her beside me, making me feel like I’m not standing alone against the two of them, keeps me from spiraling. Instead of backing down, they take a step closer, closing the distance I just created. Their desperation is palpable.
Are Hunter and Lio still at the hospital?
My muscles tense, and a cold sweat breaks out on my neck.
“Pretty girl, please,” Nash begs, his voice breaking with sincerity. My heart aches, and tears prickle at the corners of my eyes.
I’m not gonna cry in front of them again.
“We made a huge mistake, and we’re so goddamn sorry. Just give us a chance to make it right. Let’s talk,” Nash continues.
I swallow hard, my throat feeling dry and constricted. Their pleading makes my heart ache, but I can’t let them see that.
One sign of weakness and they’ll barrel their way back in.
“You had your chance to believe me when I begged you to,” I reply, my voice now void of emotion.
Good, push it all away from you, Sloan.
Like they pushed you.
They exchange frantic glances, North clenching his jaw. Nash reaches out, his hand trembling as he tries to touch my arm. I pull away, my face blank, but I’m in turmoil inside.
“Don’t do that. It’s me, pretty girl. The one who held you when you felt alone, the one you trusted with—”
I cut him off. “Trust you trampled on.”
“We know we fucked up, okay? We did. But we looked everywhere for you,” North tries, his voice raspy, rough, and desperate. “We’re so sorry. Let’s talk. I’m trying to make this right.”
Not hard enough.
My stomach clenches. “You’re not. You’re fucking up even more. You have a sick child laying in a hospital room, scared. And you’re not with him because you felt the need to chase me?” I huff a sarcastic laugh. “With him is where you fucking should be!”
My feelings change from desperation and hurt to anger on Lio’s behalf. He went through so much because the adults in his life can’t seem to get their shit together.
And this time, I’m the reason for it.
North looks stricken like he just realized that I’m right.
Yeah, Thundercunt. You guys are idiots.
“We need you,” Nash starts again, “We—” But I interrupt him in a harsh tone.
“Lio needs you. His dad and his uncle. Go fucking take care of him. We’re done. Two more weeks, and I’m gone from here anyway. So you can forget about this whole fuckup. I know I will.”
“Siren,” Nash pleads, but my blood boils.
“Don’t fucking call me that. Don’t call me anything at all. Leave!” My whole body is trembling, and I can’t even tell if it’s in fury or desperation.
“You heard her. Get out.” Tally’s tone is just as harsh as mine as she chimes in and reaches out to grab my hand, squeezing it.
She’s the fucking best.
“You’re right, okay? You’re more than right, and we’ll go get him, but first, I need you to agree to talk with us. It doesn’t have to be now. We can meet tomorrow when everyone’s calmed down. Let me make this right,” North pleads again.
I push a breath through my teeth.
His words mean shit. Everybody can talk.
They showed me how much I can count on them when shit gets real.
It would be amazing if these men could and wanted to be who I needed.
But they just aren’t.
The ones I need wouldn’t have turned their back on me for my truth.
They wouldn’t dismiss my feelings and make me choose.
“I think it’d be best if you leave now,” Tally snaps again.
I don’t deserve her.
“Think about what we had, what we shared.” Nash’s ocean blue eyes are begging me to listen, still not willing to give up. He can’t see that he’s making things worse.
“What we shared means nothing. It just made you hurt me more,” I confess, biting my lip.
Why did I just admit that they hurt me?
Fuck it, they know. They knew I fell for them and cut me off anyway.
But me still loving them won’t help them get me back. If anything, it makes me hate them more for being unable to get rid of my feelings.
Maybe they see the stubborn tension in my jaw. Or maybe it’s Mac and Tim who come up to stand beside me now, but North visibly deflates. Nash still seems stubborn, reaching out to grab me. “Read my texts,” he pleads, making my hackles rise even more.
I try to pull my arm back, but he grabs my wrist, making my pulse race faster, and I start to panic. “Don’t touch me.”
“Siren…” He steps closer before he’s forced to let go because he’s pushed backward.
Losing his balance from the shove, Nash falls to his knees. There, on the floor he looks up at me, the desperation clear in his eyes. "Please, forgive me," he begs, his voice breaking, showing his vulnerability in a way I've never seen before.
Seeing Nash fly backward, I would have thought Mac got between us, but it’s Tim who takes a step in front of me now, arms crossed, facing off his best friend for me.
Choosing my side.
I can’t even start to process how that makes me feel.
“She said you shouldn’t touch her,” Tim seethes.
Mac steps up next to Tim, cracking his knuckles.
Tally steps in line with those two, and now all three of them are standing in front of me, building a wall between two of the men who crushed my heart and me.
Tears are finally brimming in my eyes. Luckily, I’m so shielded that they can’t see the teardrop that runs down my cheek for the fact the guys are here, begging me for something I want so badly but can’t give them anymore. And at the fact that I have friends.
Friends who care enough to step up for me.
“You’re banned from my restaurant for trespassing. I told you to leave twice, and you wouldn’t, continuing to harass my employee. Next time you put a foot in here, I’ll call the police on you,” Tally announces, her voice stern. “That counts for all the Jones.”
My breath hitches.
She did not.
North lets out a defeated laugh. “We’re your best damn customers, Tallulah.”
“And she’s my best damn friend. Fuck off, Satan, and take your brother with you.”
Then the dam breaks, and my tears fall freely.
The taste of defeat lingers heavily as I step out of the restaurant, Nash trailing behind me. The door slams shut, and the two of us slump into the BMW, still reeling from the fuckup that was that apology.
We didn’t think. We just acted when we saw the van in the parking lot while driving home after another grueling day of searching for her, leaving us exhausted and on edge.
I need to get back to work tomorrow, but we wanted to try one more time, checking out the last part of the area we hadn’t already, making sure she wasn’t stranded somewhere in need of help because that monstrosity of a van gave out under her.
I grimace when I look over at it, parked in the same spot as before she left, mocking me. All the guilt is slowly killing me, and in the end, that goddamn rusty pile of shit will outlive me. Sloan just put another heap of guilt on top of the one already crushing me with her accusations about Lio.
Rightfully so.
I’m trying, goddammit, but it feels like everything I touch turns to ashes. I’m lost, drowning, not knowing how to make things right anymore.
What the fuck am I supposed to do?