Chapter 16 #2
Being in his arms is everything.
“You’re so fucking strong. Here we are, fucking up at every opportunity possible, hurting you left and right while life throws shit at you. And you’re still standing strong.”
“I’m not,” I press out between sobs. “I’m barely holding on.” A strangled sound comes from behind me, and I think I just triggered North. This wasn’t my intention, and even though he doesn’t deserve it, I still feel the need to reassure him. “I’m not giving up. I’m just lost and—”
“Tired, I know,” Hunter interrupts and begins stroking my head.
“And you feel alone, which is our fault too. But though we’re the ones who made you feel that way, please know that you’re not.
One call, and we’re there. If you have nightmares from what happened yesterday, you can always call me or one of the others, and we will come and get you. ”
“It’s not last night that I’ll have nightmares about,” I mumble.
I know I should get the fuck up, grab my bag, and walk out of here, but being in his arms, getting held again in this special way only he can, is immobilizing.
A shadow falls over me, and I look up to find North and Nash standing behind the couch, looking at my face. Saylor is next to step up beside them, still frowning.
“Why did you say it like that? What are your nightmares about?” North demands in his bossy way.
I try to push myself off Hunter, but he holds me a little tighter. Not too much, so I know he would let go of me if I insisted. He’s just reluctant to.
“Tell them, Slo. Tell them what you’ve been through. They need to know.” Saylor urges when I find his gaze.
I shake my head. Why would they?
“They need to understand what they truly did. They still don’t understand the severity of what happened when they betrayed your trust. It doesn’t matter if you want to forgive them or not. They need to understand why you’re so hurt so they can take responsibility,” Saylor continues.
North steps closer to me and reaches out to touch my chin, gently lifting my face so my gaze finds his.
“Tell us,” he demands.
I take a deep, shaky breath, feeling the weight of my past trauma pressing down on me. “I’ve been through some awful things,” I admit, my voice barely above a whisper. “Things I can’t forget, no matter how hard I try.”
“What things?” North presses, letting go of me.
Tears roll down my cheeks as I finally open up to them.
“I-I was forcibly committed to a mental institution,” I begin, my gaze fixed on a point in the room, avoiding eye contact with any of them.
“It was like a nightmare that never ended. They strapped me down, drugged me, and… and the staff, they were cruel.”
“Jesus.” My eyes find Nash, whose jaw clenches, anger and sorrow flashing in his eyes. “Sloan, that’s… that’s horrifying.”
“It was,” I continue, my voice barely a whisper. “I was trapped in a dark, silent, and cold room. The isolation, the constant monitoring, the cold, and the fear… I… it fucking broke me.”
Hunter squeezes me to him without stopping the comforting movement of his hand brushing over my head. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that,” he says softly in my ear.
Tears are still running down my cheeks, but I press on, needing to share the full extent of what I’ve been through now I have started.
“Th-they kept insisting I was hallucinating, that I was making up everything. That I was crazy.” I whisper the last word, and North’s eyes flicker with recognition when he steps back.
I can see how his mind is in turmoil. But I won’t be considerate of his feelings in the matter, as much as he wasn’t considerate of mine.
“I was cold, I was in pain, and I felt completely abandoned.”
“Why did they put you in there?” Hunter asks, the stroking on my back never stopping.
I clench my jaw, looking at Saylor, who is watching me intently. “Because before all that, before they broke me, I was helping people. I was helping spirits and their loved ones. Helping ghosts find the light. Doing readings.”
Nash and North stiffen up, and I’m unsure if they are having a hard time believing me again or if it just reminds them of what I did for Jessica.
“Before?” Nash asks, looking confused. “You don’t do that anymore?”
“I swore never to help any spirit again after what I’ve been through after what wanting to help has brought me.”
“But you helped Jessie and Lio.” North’s brows touch as he seems to make sense of what I’m saying.
I huff bitterly. “And look what making an exception has brought me.”
Hunter stiffens under me, but I’m still not done. I want to get this over with.
To get out of here.
Even if it feels so right.
Taking a steadying breath, I continue, my voice quivering but resolute, “I met a ghost, Stanley, who was murdered by our mayor because he knew too much about the corrupt stuff Mayor Thomson was involved in. Stanley told me the mayor was threatening his family, and he needed my help to save them. His wife and daughter were in danger and were being watched by the mayor’s people. ”
North and Nash exchange glances, but I ignore them, continuing the story to get everything out.
“I pretended to be a pizza delivery girl to enter the mayor’s house.
I had evidence to bring him down from Stanley.
When I threatened to expose him, he told me he called off the surveillance on Stanley’s family.
” I let out a sarcastic laugh. “I thought I got away with it, that I had handled it all on my own, but I was wrong. I underestimated the danger, and a few days later, they came and got me.”
North clenches his fists, anger and guilt etched across his face. “They got you?”
I nod, my tears flowing faster. “They practically kidnapped me out of my nan’s house. Nan was sick, and she couldn’t help me, but she called our lawyers and made sure that they got me out of there. It took her three months.”
“You were in this institution for three months?” Nash asks, shocked.
I nod again, feeling the tears running down my face even faster. “Nan died two weeks before I got out. She came to say goodbye, but still. She died while I was in Hell.”
“The dream you had, the memory,” Nash realizes, his eyes wide.
“Now that you’re out, is he still after you?” North asks, his brows furrowed, and it’s like he’s switched to business mode now that there is a problem for him to solve.
“No. At least I don’t think so. They don’t know where I am. I got out of the institution, took six months to sell the house and everything we owned, fixed the van, and then made a road trip across the country for another six months. It would be a miracle if they even knew where I was now.”
“And Stanley’s family, are they safe?” he asks, tilting his head.
I deflate a little. “I’ve no idea. I tell myself they are, that all of it was worth it. But I haven’t seen or spoken to them since.”
“What was his last name? Stanley, what?” North demands to know.
“Why? Want to make sure I’m not lying?” I ask, my hackles rising again as I push myself off Hunter, this time for real, and he lets me go easily. I stand with my arms crossed over my chest.
“Just tell me,” North demands once more, his gaze fixed on me.
“Stanley Walters, he lived in San Francisco,” I hiss out while I grab my bag. “Have fun figuring out if the crazy girl is a liar after all,” I tell him, marching out of the house without looking back.
And none of them follow me, except for Saylor.
Since it’s early Monday morning, there aren’t many people on the streets, and for that, I’m grateful. The last thing I need is for someone to witness the state I’m in.
I’m still fuming, berating myself for opening up to them.
What did it help?
Nothing, absolutely nothing. It only made them doubt me again.
I went through hell, but they don’t believe me.
They want to check it first.
Fuck all of them.
Saylor and I walk in silence, and I don’t think much of it.
I’m, too occupied with my thoughts until he explodes when we stand in front of the van, me fumbling for my keys to open it.
“You have no idea how fucking furious I am, Sloan. I told you not to go. I told you to leave. I told you he’s bad news, but you didn’t listen.
He would have done unspeakable things to you, and I couldn’t do anything to prevent it.
I could only watch. You know how that feels?
Do you have any idea how it feels to always stand on the side, being powerless to step in to do something?
To just fucking put you over my shoulder and walk you out?
You’re everything to me, everything, and you can’t even seem to bother to listen to me because what could the ghost do about it? ”
I’m so shocked by his outburst that I forget all my anger and want to open my mouth and tell him I’m sorry, but he just cuts me off before I can even take my next breath.
“I don’t know if you’re letting my looks fool you, but I’m not a twenty-three-year-old boy you can boss around.
I’m your fucking equal. I may not look like or act like it, but you better believe that I am, and I’m not going to let any more of that shit slide.
When I tell you you’re unsafe, you’re gonna fucking listen to me, do you understand? ”
Fuck, that little tirade was damn hot.
“Yes, sir, I’m sorry,” I whisper with a small grin tugging on my lips.
He glares at me. “I fucking mean it, Sloan, I—” Stopping in the middle of what he’s saying, Saylor presses his eyes shut, groaning, and I already know what’s going to happen.
He vanishes.