Chapter 21
TWENTY-ONE
“You slept with North?” Tally exclaims, her voice rising in a pitch that could wake the dead.
“Shh!” I hiss, glancing nervously around the still-empty restaurant. “I did not!“
Mac pauses his chopping and strides over, curiosity piqued. “Good hate sex?” he probes, a teasing lilt in his voice that feels like sandpaper against my raw nerves.
“There was no hate sex. There was no sex at all!” My voice is a fierce whisper.
God, why did I even bring that up?
I mentally scold myself, feeling the conversation slipping out of my control.
“Shame,” Mac mutters, pulling out the chair next to me to sit down. “Did you at least kiss?” His nonchalance about all this is infuriating.
Tally snickers behind her hand until I shoot her a glare that could shatter glass.
“What? No, why would I?” The frustration in my voice doesn’t match the hurt inside. “Have you guys forgotten what happened in the last two weeks?” I scowl at them, and Tally laughs.
“No, of course not.” She gives me a small smile. “But did you ask yourself that too? Because you’re the one who asked North to share a bed with you.”
“I was tired, and… ugh, I don’t know, okay? I don’t even know what I want anymore. I can’t trust my own judgment. It’s all so messed up.” I fold the napkin with more force than needed, needing to take my frustration out on something.
“It’s okay, Sloan. The last few days were a lot, and it’s completely natural to feel confused.” Tally’s tone is much gentler than the one I use to talk to myself in my head.
Mac nods, crossing his arms over his chest. I told them both what happened with Adam earlier, finally getting it off my chest. I had to practically hold Mac back to stop him from leaving the restaurant to pummel Adam into the floor.
“From what I saw, these boys know they messed up and want to make it right, no matter how hard you kick their asses for it,” Mac muses, his gaze fixed on mine.
“Did you guys change sides overnight? I thought I was your friend.” My stomach sinks, and insecurities bubble to the surface. “Am I being difficult for no reason?”
“Of course you’re not, Mouse. They deserve everything they’re getting.
I just say give them some slack. They could have long given up, but they’re still trying.
And you feel it yourself. They’re wearing you down.
All I want to say is trust your gut. If you feel like you can trust them to open up again, rely on them.
If you want to have them back around, have them with you when you sleep, let yourself.
Let them. Every little stone they pull out of your wall is earned.
” Mac strokes his beard while talking, and I don’t think I’ve ever heard him say that much at once.
But what he’s saying makes sense.
They are wearing me down, even if I don’t like it.
“What he said.” Tally points at Mac. “You don’t have to make any decisions. Just go with the flow. Do what feels right for you. We have your back no matter what.”
“Thank you,” I whisper, fiddling with a napkin. “But forgiving them isn’t the only problem. I can’t and won’t choose. So what do they want from me? What are they fighting for? They don’t see that it’s no use anyway.”
Tally rolls her eyes before she leans in. “Back on topic, what happened this morning? Was he still there?”
“He was in the room, but he was waiting, sitting in the desk chair, dressed in his running gear. He asked me if I wanted to go for a run, and when I nodded, we went to my van, and I changed. We ran, not saying a word until we returned, and he left without a goodbye.”
It was perfect.
“Okay, what about Nash? And Hunter?” Tally digs for more tea.
I shrug. “Haven’t seen or heard from either of them today.” This only led to another day of overthinking, as I spent it alone in the van, hoping Saylor would pop in, which he didn’t.
Ugh.
“But there’s still time, right?” Tally grins, making Mac chuckle. “Come on, let’s get everything ready so we’re done when everyone’s finished working on the boats.”
Soon after, the first customers enter the restaurant. It’s Wednesday, so as usual, we aren’t busy, and the evening is slow. Maybe part of it is because it’s been raining heavily since after my run this morning. The sky is dark, and the wind is howling.
I hope Nash is okay.
Maybe thirty minutes before closing, the door opens again, and North enters, taking a seat at a table in the corner.
Tally steps up to my side and asks in a hushed tone, “Should I tell him to leave, or is that not necessary anymore since you invited him into your bed?”
Ha-ha.
“It’s fine, thanks,” I mutter, walking over to where North is sitting, aware he’s already watching me. I try hard not to stumble or show how fast my heart is beating.
He looks so fucking fine, wearing a black sweater with his wavy hair wet and disheveled by the weather. Some strands loosely hang in his ocean blue eyes, making me want to push them out of his face.
“What can I—” I begin in a professional tone, but he cuts me off.
“I don’t want anything, thank you,” he tells me in a neutral tone.
“Okay, why are you here then?” I ask again, furrowing my brows. He looks at me in his old are-you-dense way, which I might have missed just a little bit.
Begging North is nice, but bossy North is hotter.
Where did that thought just come from?
Bad Sloan.
“You can’t just sit here without ordering something. You’re taking a table from paying customers,” I try again, pressing the menu to my chest.
North’s gaze wanders around the restaurant, where two other tables are occupied, and eight more are empty.
I have to bite my lip to stifle a smile when his eyes return to mine, a glint of something there.
Amusement?
“Fine, what do you recommend?” he asks, his tone laced with a humor I’m not used to.
“The daily special,” I say because I really would recommend it. Every time I’ve carried a fried shrimp burger out of the kitchen tonight, I have wanted one.
“Perfect. Then the daily special, but to-go, and a glass of water, please.”
“Coming right up,” I tell him, walking away while letting out a long breath.
At least to-go means he’ll leave soon.
Shortly after, I bring him his order and continue serving the remaining customers while ignoring him. Or at least I try to. Because he doesn’t leave.
As the evening winds down and the rest of the customers leave, I decide it’s time to kick him out. “We’re closing up now. You should head out,” I tell North, approaching his table.
He looks at me for a moment, his expression unreadable, and nods. “Sure,” he replies and rises from his seat.
Tally and Mac are finishing their work and share a knowing look. They’ve been keeping a close eye on me since he walked in.
As North walks toward the exit, I follow him to make sure he leaves, still not getting why he was here in the first place. The door shuts behind him, and I lock it before we finish closing.
“Tim just pulled up. Want a lift home, Mac?” Tally asks as we all put on our jackets.
“Sure, thanks,” Mac mutters, and we pile out the door while Tally switches off the lights and closes the door. Tim’s red Ford is waiting just in front of us in the pouring rain.
“Night, Tarzan,” Tim yells out of the open car door when they climb in, and I smile and wave as they drive off.
The parking lot outside is almost void of light because the street lamps don’t quite reach it, and it’s even darker than usual with the rain. It smells like ocean and rain mixed, like fall, with some puddles reflecting the little light.
I can’t help but feel uneasy. Thoughts about what could be lurking in the darkness start creeping in.
Stop that shit right now, Sloan.
I traveled a whole fucking country on my own with hundreds of dark parking lots. Why start to be afraid now? I know why, but I push it far away from me.
Still standing under the restaurant's overhang, I contemplate running to the van when a dark silhouette steps up next to me, making me jump out of my skin.
“Blue, it’s me,” North reassures, stepping out of the shadows with a big black umbrella. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”
I take a deep breath to calm my racing heart. “What are you still doing here?”
God, I almost pissed myself.
“I wanted to walk you to your van,” he explains.
“But I kicked you out at least fifteen minutes ago,” I protest.
“It’s raining.” He shrugs and lifts the umbrella a little, an invitation to step under it with him.
I hesitantly step toward him, and he puts the hand that isn’t holding the umbrella and take-out bag on the small of my back, gently nudging me to a walk.
After the very short walk to the van, he keeps the umbrella over us while I unlock the door and slide it open. When I turn to look at him, he hands me the bag of food.
“What? Why? That’s your food,” I protest, surprised.
“I got it for you,” he replies. “Hunter was… occupied today and couldn’t bring you something, and I’m sure you didn’t eat.”
Busted.
I want to refuse, but my stomach rumbles, reminding me that I am indeed hungry. So, I take it with a quiet thank you. He nods and steps back when I climb into the van.
“Night,” he says softly.
“Night,” I reply before closing the sliding door and watching through the open curtain as North waits until he hears me lock the door before he turns and walks away into the darkness of the parking lot.
What was that?
And why did it leave me all hurting and confused again?
Fuck.
Closing the curtain, I slip off my jacket and set it aside before savoring the aroma of the burger in the to-go box. I take it out and inspect the burger, pulling up the top bun to find pickles underneath.
Ew.
Pulling them off, I drop them into the bag before closing the bun again and starting to eat. The flavors fill my senses, and I forget about everything else for a moment. It’s so good, and I enjoy every bite until nothing is left, almost licking my fingers.
Mac, you magician.