Chapter 28 #2
“I wouldn’t go that far,” he replies, lifting his brows and making my heart flip.
Is he teasing?
What the...
I bite my lip, nodding before turning to open the van. “Thanks for the run.”
“Blue,” he hums softly, and I turn to look at him again.
“I just wanted to say you can call me. I know I’m not your first choice, and that’s fine.
But if you need someone or something, you can always call me.
No matter how big or silly you think it is, you can call me, and I’ll pick up.
When you don’t want to be alone, I’ll come. Always.”
His offer hangs in the air, and I feel my walls, brick by painstaking brick, begin to crumble. The Jones boys are chipping away at the last of my resolve.
My throat tightens, the sting of unshed tears a sharp contrast to the warmth spreading through my chest. I’ve labeled him the villain in my story, but villains don’t reach out with such vulnerable honesty. They don’t stand before you, stripped of ego and pride, offering nothing but their presence.
“Thank you,” I whisper, the words barely audible even to my ears. But they’re enough, an acknowledgment of the shift within me, of the possibility I’m not ready to voice but can’t deny either.
As I climb into the van and close the door behind me, I let myself feel it all—the hurt, the hope, the belief. And somewhere deep inside, where I’ve kept my heart guarded, I sense the barriers faltering, the lines blurring.
Maybe, just maybe, I’m ready to stop running.
“So, you’re gonna choose Nash?” Tally practically brims with excitement.
She can’t contain herself. She is still giddy about what happened yesterday when Nash declared his love for me in front of everyone, even though the dinner shift has already started and customers are sitting at a table in the back.
Mac, who’s leaning in to hear our conversation from the kitchen counter, chimes in, agreeing with Tally, “That took guts, Mouse. It wasn’t just in front of the town but also his city friends. Everybody knows now that baby Jones is off the market.”
I let out a laugh. “He’s not off the market.”
They share a glance as if I’m dense.
“What do you think it means when he tells everybody you’re the one, dummy?” Tally rolls her eyes at me.
Wait, he is off the market.
My eyes go wide, making Mac chuckle. “I think we’re more up-to-date with Mouse’s love life than she is.” He nudges my chin, so I have to look at him. “That means you’re off the market too… just so you know.”
Tally snickers, munching on some cheese sticks. I almost lost my hand when I tried to steal one from her earlier, making Shannon, who’s hanging around us again today but keeping her distance, laugh. She’s nervous and on edge whenever my gaze lands on her, so I just leave her be.
Tally can’t resist digging deeper, not letting me overthink what Mac sprung on me or what’s going on with Shannon. “So, how was it?” she asks eagerly. “What did you guys do after he pulled you out of here? I want details.”
I feel myself blushing and getting shy as I explain, “Well, he… he nurtured some seeds for me. He’s growing herbs because I once told him that a real home for me needs an herb garden.”
Tally squeals with delight, her eyes sparkling.
“Oh, my God, this is so cute. Like, Nash doing something like this? The poems, the public declaration, the herbs?” she exclaims, a little swoony, clearly rooting for him.
“You’re gonna choose him, right? I mean, I’m still Team Hunter, but God, Nash just overtook him. ”
I hesitate for a moment before answering, “Well, no.”
Do I tell them? I don’t even know if what he said is true.
“Girl, I know you said you can’t choose, but being happy with one of them is way better than being miserable alone. And Nash made up for the small part he did in that screw-up.” Tally frowns at me.
“That’s not it,” I hesitate, but then decide to confide in them. “Nash told me I didn’t have to choose. He said all of them want me. That they’re willing to share.”
Tally and Mac exchange shocked glances, their eyes widening with surprise. “They want to share you?” they both ask in unison.
I look down, fiddling with my apron. “That’s what Nash said,” I reply just as Nash and Tim walk into the restaurant.
I can’t keep Tally back as she walks up to Nash, pointing a finger at his chest. “You!”
“Hey, baby,” Tim greets her, but she holds up a hand to shush him.
Nash looks down at her with his eyebrows shooting up, and when she pokes him again, he puts his hand on his chest to keep her from doing it again. “Ouch, damn woman, what’s your problem?”
“My problem is that it took you guys so damn long! Ugh, finally, you used your brain cell. This is freaking amazing.”
Nash’s eyes find mine over Tally’s head, and there is a question in them as if to ask what I told her.
Fuck. I should have kept my mouth shut.
“I know doing it like this is…” Tally trails off, searching for a word while I feel sick.
“Tally…” I start, my voice shaky, but she doesn’t hear me.
Tim chimes in, his voice calm and with a smirk on his lips. “Unconventional?”
Tally nods, pointing at him. “Yes, babe, thank you. It’s unconventional.”
Nash’s frustration is evident in his tone. “Do I look like I give a fuck about conventions?”
Tally counters, her voice growing more stern, “Well, no, but you guys have a name, a legacy, and this is a small town. People will talk.”
Nash retorts, louder now, and I glance at the patrons in the back, but they’re engrossed in their own conversations. “And so what? People talk anyway, Tally. I thought you liked us? I thought you wanted her to be with us.”
“Of course I do. I love that for you guys. I just wanted to say they will talk and say dirty things about you, but especially her. So make sure to look out for her. She’s not cheap or anything when you guys are in a committed relationship, right?
It’s not crazy to love more than one person.
I just want to make sure you guys know what you’re getting into before you drop her like a hot potato again when people start to call you weird—”
My blood freezes, and I feel like my heart just stopped.
Loving more than one person is crazy.
They will call them weird because of me.
“Shut up!” Nash erupts, his anger finally breaking through.
“Hey!” Tim chimes in, attempting to defuse the situation by stepping between them.
Nash starts again, his voice quieter but no less intense. “I love you, Tally, but shut. The. Fuck. Up.” His desperate gaze finds me again, and Tally and Tim turn to me, too, Tally looking shocked as if she has only just realized what she said.
“Sloan, I didn’t mean to…” she starts, but Nash steps in front of me, blocking her view.
I tremble, feeling overwhelmed. People will think I’m weird again.
Crazy.
I feel the panic attack rising, and if it weren’t for the few customers sitting in the back, I would just walk out of here.
Nash’s voice is soft when he reaches out to cup my face. “Pretty girl, listen to me, that’s not—”
“No,” I whisper. I can’t listen to him right now, or I’ll break.
“You’re not going to spiral now, do you hear me?
” Nash’s voice is desperate. “We are not going to do this. You can be mad at me all you want, you can make your own fucking decisions, you can decide if you want to be with all of us or if you don’t want to do this, but you will not listen to anybody else or let anyone’s opinion get in the way of what you really want. Understood?”
I look at the floor, focusing on my breathing.
Unconventional.
Weird.
“Look at me.” I don’t move. “Fucking look at me, Sloan.” I lift my eyes to meet Nash’s gaze. “Do you want this? Me? All of us?” I’m overwhelmed, and I don’t know how to respond. Nash lets his forehead fall to mine, speaking softly. “Sloan, don’t shut down on me now.”
But I can’t find the words to answer.
Mac chimes in, his voice calm and reasonable.
“Why don’t you, I don’t know, sit at a table, order shit and leave her alone, or you just leave because right now all you are doing is making a spectacle out of her and yourself, and if it’s so important to everybody how shit looks to the people in this town, you should not make a scene here.
She doesn’t need her overbearing best friend telling her what’s right or not, nor does she need one of the guys who wants to get in her pants telling her that it’s not a big deal. ”
“Hey!” Tally and Nash say at the same time, their voices overlapping.
“Give her some space. I don’t know if you know the girl you call best friend or wannabe girlfriend, but if you knew her and looked at her right now, you would know that everything you’re saying is pressuring her more and making her want to bolt. So sit the fuck down or leave.”
Nash searches my eyes, brows furrowed, but I can’t hold his gaze. Instead, I look at the floor while taking a shuddering breath. “You want me to leave, Siren?” he asks softly, and all I can do is nod, even though it hurts.
He pushes away a tear with his thumb before kissing my temple, whispering an “I love you” against my skin before he turns and leaves. When the door closes behind him, I turn and walk quickly toward the bathroom.
“Sloan!” Tally comes rushing after me, just like Tim and Mac, and soon they’re standing behind me while I lean onto the sink, not sure if I need to scream or puke.
“You okay?” Tally asks, putting a hand on my shoulder, but I shrug her off.
No, I’m not.
I know I’m overreacting, but I can’t help it.
“Both of you, out.” Mac’s gruff voice echoes in the bathroom.
“No, I need to apologize. Sloan, I didn’t mean it like that.” Tally’s voice is watery, and I feel guilty for making her feel bad now too.
Just fantastic.
When the chill runs down my back, I don’t even have to turn to feel Shannon’s hostility toward me for upsetting her daughter again. Well, maybe I am the problem.
Nothing new there.
“She knows that. She’s not mad, right, Mouse?” Mac gives me an out, so I nod, still not looking at anybody but the sink. “See? Now out.”
I hear the door open and close, letting out a long breath. And another one. When I’ve taken some more, I can finally stand straight and look at myself in the mirror.
I turn and see Mac leaning against the wall next to the door, arms crossed. Everybody else is gone. “Better?”
I nod.
At least I don’t feel like I have to puke anymore.
“You know, I’m the weird one in this town…” Mac starts, making me look at him critically, but he continues, “I’m the one who’s nuts. Living on a boat, keeping to himself, without a wife or kids, the big grump who likes goats too much.”
I smile. “You like goats?”
“You should come to visit my boat one day. I have a lot of goat miniatures and ceramics, but that’s not the point.
” Thinking about Mac sitting in his boat with a little goat figurine on his lap makes me smile even more.
“The point is, I was always the odd one out. People are nice, nobody bothers me, but everybody thinks that I’m weird, and they let me feel it.
With their nicely meant words or their glances. ”
Guilt rises inside me. Haven’t I thought about him like that too?
That he’s nuts?
Fuck.
“You’re not weird, Mac,” I defend softly, but he laughs.
“Oh, I’m so fucking weird, and so are you.
” Hurt zings through me, but he doesn’t let me respond.
“And that’s a good thing, Mouse.” He steps away from the wall and moves closer to me, towering over me as he continues, “Being weird doesn’t mean you’re less or not good enough.
It just means you’re different from the rest. That you’re more.
I think that’s something to be proud of, don’t you? ”
I bite my lip. All the years of being called weird and crazy, being left out and left alone, didn’t really make it feel like anything to be proud of.
“The best part of you living the life you want, the way you want, is that it means you may still be weird, but we can all be weird together. Being weird isn’t all that bad if you’re not the only one in the room.”