22. Gravity Assist #2
“Are you kidding?” She laughs. “Holt, you’ve been surprising me left and right lately.”
Scratching my jaw, I think over recent events. “I don’t think it was too surprising that the house needed an update.”
“Pfft.” Rose waves her hand. “Not that .”
“Then what?”
Leaning forward, she shoves my arm. “Well to start, I never thought you had it in you to sleep with Flynn’s ex.”
My body shifts uncomfortably on the hay bale. “I was trying?—”
“Yeah, yeah.” She rolls her eyes. “You did it with a dick of gold. Blah, blah. I know.”
“Jesus, Rose.” I rub my hand across my face, probably smearing dirt in along with the sweat.
“Sorry.” Her blond hair swings as she ducks her head. “I know you hate me cursing.”
“Eh.” Rubbing the sweat off my hands, I shrug. “What do I know? Say what you want.”
Thrusting her finger in my face, she exclaims, “See, that.” Another finger thrust. “That right there. That’s surprising.”
The incredulity on her face gets me laughing. “Good to know.”
She laughs with me before nudging my shoulder with hers. “It also surprised me that you fell in love with Jules.”
My chest pinches. “Everyone loves Jules. She’s very lovable.” My lips twist, thinking of all the news articles and pictures. “They call her NASA’s Starr after all.”
“That’s bullshit. Even I know that girl is a tough pill to swallow on the regular.”
Straightening, I glare at my little sister. “What the heck are you talking about? She’s amazing. One of the most loyal people I know, why would you?—”
I pause at Rose’s knowing smirk. “Ahhh.” I relax again, huffing out a laugh. “Well played.” I nod. “Well played.”
Smugness isn’t my sister’s best look.
And though she’s right that I can’t deny I care for Jules, Rose has me wondering that if I did love Jules, why would I throw such hateful words at her? “I’m not sure I’m very good at this love thing.”
“Why not?”
It’s my turn to throw her a knowing look. “You know why.”
“Ugh.” Rose’s blue eyes roll back in a theatric huff. “You and Flynn. So much drama .”
“What?” I laugh, pointing to my chest. “Me?”
“You heard me. You think I wasn’t close to slamming Flynn’s head under a car hood when he went all mamsie-pamsie on Jackie?”
“Mansie-pamsie?” Where does my sister come up with this stuff?
Ignoring me, Rose continues her rant. “Society likes to portray women as these weak little emotional basket cases, but I swear, men take it to a whole new level. It’s the equivalent of a man-cold, but mental.”
“Ouch.” She shoots me a look that has me throwing up my hands. “Although probably warranted.”
Her arms cross in a hunch over her legs. “Hmph.”
I probably shouldn’t tell her that when she’s grumpy she’s cute. Reminds me of when she was little and I wouldn’t let her melt her Barbie dolls’ faces in the sun with a magnifying glass.
We sit quietly, watching the sun lower in the sky.
“Mom and Dad messed you and Flynn up in different ways. But they aren’t you, and the people you love aren’t them.”
Still watching the sunset colors bathe the land, I nudge her with a smile. “When did you get so smart?”
“Please.” She straightens, looking far more mature than I ever remember. “I’ve always been this smart. You were just too stupid to realize.”
And then the maturity is gone.
Smiling, I hook her into my side and give her a noogie.
“Ah! Stop! My hair! My hair!” Managing to wiggle free, she pushes me away. “And ew, you stink!”
My shoulders shift, my sweat-soaked shirt clinging to me. “That’s ranch work for you.”
She stands, brushing off her jeans and grabbing my gloves off the ground. “Maybe it’s time you look into another line of work.”
Instead of bristling at the thought, I nod. “Maybe.”
Rose eyebrows shoot up. “Seriously?”
I shrug.
“Well, I’ll be.” She pulls one of the work gloves on and waves me up off the bale with her other hand.
Muscles groan and joints pop. “Argh.” I stagger a bit before I can straighten my legs fully.
Tossing me the other glove, she motions to the bale. “Come on, old man. I’ll help you load the last of these bales if you tell me about this charity you’re secretly running.”
Not about to say no to an extra set of hands now that my body has made its displeasure known, I simply glove up. Each using our gloved hand to grab the twine securing the bails, we heft and swing.
And while we work, I talk. I talk about TJ and Brian and the rest of the boys.
How it started with just Tucker in the Big Brothers program, before I realized I could help a lot more kids at once if I started my own.
How the kids can come here and just be kids.
Not worry about unsafe neighborhoods, where their next meal comes from or outdated textbooks.
I talk about how I’d like to expand the program with scholarship funds and about Jules’ suggestion to include girls.
About all the things I’d like to do with the program if I had the time.
When we’re done, Rose is smiling, despite her hair being a tangled mess and her T-shirt all sweaty. “That’s amazing, Holt.” She pulls off her glove, tossing into the back of the truck. “As corny as it sounds, this sounds like your calling.”
I flex my hand, trying to work out the stiffness. “But, if I did give it my all, I wouldn’t be able to run the ranch like Gramps did.”
“You think Gramps wanted you to be unhappy? You think he’d want you to give up helping people, kids no less, so you can continue to be some weirdo rich oil man who tosses hay bales around all day like he did?”
“Gramps wasn’t a weirdo.”
“Holt, the man was worth near a billion and he shoveled cow shit. For fun .” She emphasizes the last with a shake of her head. “I’d say that’s pretty fucking weird.”
“Going by that, I guess I’m weird too, then.”
She doesn’t say anything, just raises her brows.
I raise my hat, one hand raking through the sweaty mess underneath. If the West Oil board members I saw a few days ago downtown could see me now, I’m pretty sure they’d think I was weird too.
Rose turns and heaves the tailgate closed. “Jules was right when she said Tucker is more than capable of running this place, not that we even need it. I mean, you made this place profitable, but you always seem to forget that we’re filthy rich without it.”
Her dismissal of Grandpa’s legacy hurts. “Hey now, this ranch is what made us a family.”
Rose sighs the sigh of a beleaguered mother. “No, you moron.” She steps close and pokes me painfully in the chest. “ You’re what made us a family. You just happened to do it here.”
Well.
I think I might just prove Rose’s point about men being emotional basket cases, ’cause I feel suddenly teary-eyed.
Thankfully oblivious, either that or showing a rare case of empathy, Rose ignores my emotional turmoil. “Now,” she says, rubbing her hands together like a cartoon villain. “Should I come full circle and finish off the West brothers’ love sagas by doing what you did to Flynn?”
Concentrating on her odd train of thought, my tears dry up. “What are you talking about?”
“When you wanted him to see sense you slept with his girlfriend.”
Confused, I just frown. “I’m not following.”
Over the hands clasped in front of her, an evil smirk emerges. “I just thought, if you were going to continue moping around, I might just have to go see if Jules is up for a trip to Vegas.”
“Vegas? What the heck is it with the women in my life? None of you make sense.”
“Vegas, dear brother, is where I become a lesbian soothsayer.” She crosses her arms and leans back on the truck, wiggling her eyebrows. “I bet I could seduce Jules for a night.” She thinks it over. “Or at least it would be fun to try.”
It takes me a minute to close my mouth. “Jesus, Rose. Stay the hell away from Jules.”
She pouts before whining, “But you did it to Flynn.”
“That’s completely different. Flynn didn’t love her, he just—” I choke on my words while Rose looks far too pleased with herself.
“Oh, so now you admit to loving Jules.”
Frozen, I let what I just said sink in, feeling the pinch in my chest melt away. I do. I love her. I stagger back a step. “I love Jules.”
Rose pushes up off the truck and saunters past me over to Bess. “Duh.”
I wait until she’s situated in the saddle before making my way to the driver’s side door on shaky legs. Before I can use the last of my energy to lift myself in, Rose calls out, “Hate to burst your epiphany, bro, but you’ve still got a problem.”
Of course. Sighing, I squint up at her. “I do?”
“Jules does not open up to people. She barely does to Jackie. And since I get the feeling she may have with you…” I nod, confirming her words. “I’m also thinking she isn’t the type of person to give second chances.”
I remember how closed off she was when we first met, quick with a joke, good at deflecting. How she slowly exposed more of herself to me as we got closer. Until I basically called her an untrustworthy slut.
“Shit.”
Rose laughs, her surprise turning it into a coughing fit. Bess remains steady and bored beneath her.
The pinch in my chest, just soothed moments ago, spikes. I bang my forehead on the truck, arms limp at my sides. “What do I do?”
“Oh no.” Out of the corner of my eye, I see Rose shake her head while pulling the reins to the side.
In a slow plod, Bess turns in the direction of the barn.
“I’m just the baby sister. I thoroughly enjoy knocking sense into you,” Rose calls out over her shoulder, “but you’ve got to figure the rest out on your own. ”
As the sun sets, and Rose and Bess plod on toward the barn, I think through various ideas, pleas, and gestures, discarding each one as it comes. It’s fully dark before I push myself off the truck and climb inside.
First things first. I need to make a list.