12. Gord the Garbage Truck Driver #2
My chest relaxed. “I’m okay. I did Jiu-jitsu for a while.” Over a decade actually, but I didn’t want to sound like a martial arts bro or something. “I could teach you, if you want.”
Ellie made a face. “I was never very sporty. I did yoga for a while, but that’s about it.”
Between picturing teaching Ellie a sport that involved rolling around on the ground and Ellie in yoga gear, I was venturing back into a dangerous Not Just Friends place in my mind.
I cleared my throat. “So… you were asking me about how my ‘date’ went because that’s what friends talk about, right?”
“Yeah.” She chewed her lip but didn’t look at me. “I mean, I talk about that stuff with Kit and Sarah. All my Heartbreaker colleagues actually. We’re friends. And we talk about that stuff.”
That was a lot of words. She was trying so hard.
“We don’t have to talk about our dating lives, do we?” I asked.
“Oh. No, we don’t.”
Then I wondered if she was trying to drop a hint. I wasn’t always the best at picking up on those. “Are you… seeing someone?”
The words were hard to get out.
I sensed her stiffen beside me. Maybe she thought I was trying to get her to change her mind about what we’d talked about.
“I just mean, if you were, that would be okay,” I clarified
No it fucking wouldn’t.
Ellie was quiet, then said, “I thought you didn’t want to talk about this stuff?”
“Yeah but maybe it’s something I should know.” Why was I trying so hard to talk about this?
“Why?”
Yeah, exactly. Sam, you absolute clown. But I’d started it now.
“Because of Henry,” I said.
“What do you mean?”
I scratched my eyebrow with my free thumb. Shit. What did I mean? “Well… I guess… what if I come over to hang out with Henry and you were like, there, with some dude, making out on the couch or something.”
Ellie let out a bark of a laugh. “Some dude?” She looked up at me under a slanted brow. “Sam. I would never do that.”
“What, make out with some dude?”
“No,” she laughed. “Since Henry’s a baby, presumably I’d be the one making the plans for you to hang out with him. I wouldn’t do that and then be making out on the couch with someone at the appointed hangout time.”
“Yeah, I guess that would be weird.”
Ellie rolled her lips between her teeth. She was trying not to laugh again. I relaxed. Maybe I hadn’t hugely stuck my foot in it.
I pretended to be consternated. “Okay, but what if you were expecting me, but he wanted to just like, kiss? Or snuggle.”
Ellie screwed up her eyebrows. “Wait, so this hypothetical ‘dude’, knowing you were coming over, would just randomly ask me to snuggle?”
“Could be a power move.”
She really did laugh now. “Who would snuggle as a power move?”
“I don’t know. Maybe…. Sidney the CEO.”
She threw her head back, laughing big now. “Is that who you think I’d date?”
“I don’t know. You won’t tell me. Maybe you’d date Don, the… mafia don.”
“Maybe I’d date Gord the garbage truck driver.”
“Hey, Gord’s a good guy.”
Her laughter felt like a warm glow in my chest. No, a whole damn bonfire.
This is how it had been before. She was right.
We didn’t know each other that well. But we weren’t starting from nothing.
We’d had a lot of sex, but we’d talked a lot that night too, which was honestly almost as good.
Maybe better, if the sex hadn’t been so mind-blowing.
And then fuck, there I was thinking about things friends didn’t do again.
“So…” I shouldn’t ask, but I desperately needed to know. “Is there a Gord in the picture?”
Ellie folded her arms, which made me have to look away from her again. “No.”
Relief fanned through me. Even though it wasn’t supposed to. “Okay. Cool. Me neither.”
“You’re not seeing Gord?”
I grinned. “Not my cup of tea. Heard he’s a great guy though.”
She laughed again.
We walked in silence for a bit, but this time, it wasn’t quite so awkward.
Still, it took me all of thirty seconds to blurt out, “Why aren’t you seeing anyone, Ellie?
” Because even taking me out of the picture, I was unable to contain my curiosity on this point.
Ellie was amazing. I knew a hundred guys who’d line up for the chance to date someone like her.
And I’d fight every single one if I thought I’d have a chance.
Ellie sighed. She bit her lip again, like I learned she did when she was deciding whether to say something, “Because of Tommy.”
I lifted my brows. “Tommy?”
“Well, not just him. But…” she looked over at me. “Do you really want to know?”
I really did. “Only if you want to tell me.”
She pressed her lips together. Then said, “The very short version is that I don’t attract the best men into my life. The last guy I let in who seemed okay at first, thought Tommy’s behavior needed to be dealt with through military-style discipline.”
Ellie massaged her hand. I’d seen her do that before, like she was in pain. But this time she was pressing hard enough her fingertips went white.
“How did that go over?” I asked.
“It drove a wedge between me and my son. I left him over it, but Tommy and I still don’t have the last of those splinters out.”
My heart hurt picturing some asshole yelling at that kid. Tommy acted all tough, but I could see glimpses of a softness under all that. It was especially clear when he was with his brother.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“Yeah, well, lesson learned.”
I got it now. I understood her reasoning. Maybe I couldn’t turn off my feelings like a tap, but that was my problem. Besides, I couldn’t vouch for how I’d be even if she did want something more with me. Knowing me, I’d do something to fuck it up, even if I wasn’t Ron. Or whatever.
I didn’t know whether I should say something else. But I was saved from having to figure it out by a loud rumble.
“Oh shit.” I looked out through the trees.
We were nearly back at the park, but being undercover meant I hadn’t noticed those dark clouds taking over the sky.
As we emerged out onto the grass, the first drop of rain fell.
I pulled my hoodie off, stuffing it under the stroller as the rain started falling in earnest.
The parking lot was on the far side of the park, but the gazebo was only twenty feet away.
“Run?” I asked.
Ellie flipped the top of the stroller down, covering Henry just as the sky fully opened up. “Run!”