Chapter 14 Colson
Colson
Studying my face in the bathroom mirror, I tap the still tender skin of my cheek. It’s better now. The swelling is gone and the color is fading. I can hide the rest with concealer.
After two days of being holed up in Specter’s bedroom, I almost feel like myself again. My hair is gloriously blown out, I’m moisturized, and I’ve been sleeping better than I have in years. Maybe having an unofficial bodyguard has more benefits than I thought.
I’m going to work tonight, and that thought comes with a lot of mixed emotions. I want to be back on the stage, I need it, but that also exposes me. I won’t be alone this time though. Specter will be there.
Straightening my shoulders, I smooth my hands over my hair, then exit the bathroom. Specter is sitting on the love seat, dressed in his ubiquitous black from head to toe, one leg crossed over the other, his head down as he scrolls on his phone.
He looks up right away, setting the phone down as his lips turn upward slightly. “You look amazing.”
“Thanks. A little makeup and I’ll be right as rain.”
“Right as rain?”
I laugh softly. “Something my mom used to say.”
“I’m glad you have so many amazing memories.”
“Yes.” Curiosity about his life pokes at me. He hasn’t offered, and I haven’t asked. It feels like the last barrier between us, and I desperately need to keep it in place, at least a little longer.
Sleeping next to him the last few nights, allowing him to dote on me, absorbing his unique perspective of the world, all of it leaves cracks in my otherwise thick forcefield. I want to touch him, allow him to touch me.
And god, do I want to kiss him.
That mouth of his is sin.
But I already know the danger waiting on the other side.
The minute I allow it, he’ll make it his mission to consume what’s left of me.
Specter isn’t casual about anything he does, and definitely not about his devotion to me.
I used to think he was nothing but intense talk, but he never wavers. He wants me.
And that scares me.
What would it be like to feel the full devotion of a man like him? Giving him my body is easy enough, but he wants so much more than that. He wants all of me.
“You aren’t alone,” he says, breaking into my thoughts.
“I know.”
“The guys made breakfast. I thought it might be good to go down and introduce you to them. Phantom thinks I’m holding you hostage.”
“You’re not?” I smile to soften my teasing.
He shrugs. “It’s a fine line.”
He’s unbothered by his intensity. Unashamed of his desire for me.
“That’s fine. I’ll meet your murder buddies.”
Specter flinches. “Please don’t call them that to their faces.”
“Why? Would they kill me?”
“No, they’d change our group chat name to it.” He rises and takes slow and measured steps toward me. “No one will ever hurt you. Not here. Not anywhere. I need you to understand that.”
I nod. “I’m starting to.”
“Good.” He brushes his fingers across my cheek so slightly I almost don’t feel it. “It’s healing.”
“Concealer will hide it now.”
He cradles my face in his large hand, tilting my head back slightly.
He’s close enough to kiss me, and for once, I don’t feel the urge to run, say something snarky, or otherwise put distance between us.
But Specter doesn’t kiss me. No. He searches my eyes, his own gaze with unspoken words and emotions that twist through me like a tornado.
“Let’s go eat.”
He drops his hand and my breath hitches. Dammit. He’s totally getting under my skin and there doesn’t seem to be a damn thing I can do about it.
I pause for a moment, torn about the desire to hide my face behind makeup, but honestly my belly is growling and I don’t have the energy right now.
“Okay.”
Specter’s hand moves to my lower back and the whole thing feels very domestic for a few minutes. I like him in the morning like this, when his guard is down, his warm breath fanning the back of my neck, his incredible physique on display.
Yesterday I accidentally bumped into him and his morning wood brushed against my ass.
I had to bite back a moan and fight the urge to turn around and fully see what he’s working with.
I’m so horny at this point, I could crawl out of my skin, but I know that once I allow him to touch me, that’ll be it.
He’ll never stop, and I don’t know how to handle that.
“I need to get back into my stretching routine,” I announce softly as we descend the stairs.
“What is it?”
“It’s a combo of ballet and Pilates. My muscles feel a little stiff after not doing it for a few days.”
“We have a full gym downstairs, and there’s a yoga room. You can use it.”
“You have weights?”
“Yep. Pretty much anything you need.” He pauses. “And I’ll get anything you want that’s not there.”
“Thank you” is all I’m able to manage.
As we walk down the hall, the quiet is replaced by a lot of loud male voices.
We step into the kitchen, a massive space dominated by a huge island in the middle, and no one even acknowledges us.
They just keep talking and passing around food and cooking tools, as if I’m just another part of this chosen family.
There’s one man who sticks out though. He’s standing on the far side of the island, his eyes focused on a beautiful blond twink standing beside him.
His black hair is tied back, and he has pale skin and sharp features.
If it weren’t for the adoring look on his face, he’d look like a villain in a movie.
His gaze slowly shifts and lands on me, his eyebrow quirking with interest.
“Guys,” Wraith says. “Shut your bloody pie holes. We have company.”
Everyone shuts up at the same time and Specter pulls me closer until our arms are pressed together. “This is Cashmere,” he says. “He’s my guest until further notice.”
“Hi, Cashmere,” they all say at the same time, like a kindergarten class.
“Hello.” I wave a bit. I focus on the obvious leader of the group. He’s taking me in, but not at all in the admiring way most men look at me. He’s assessing me, making a judgment.
“Welcome,” he says, his voice deep and slightly raspy. “I’m Shadow.”
“He runs the joint,” Wraith says, winking.
“Thank you,” I answer, looking directly at Shadow. I’m not easily intimidated, but fuck, this man is terrifying.
Specter rattles off a string of spooky synonyms as names, pointing to each man around the island. For a bunch of killers, they aren’t too scary. Except Shadow.
The man next to Shadow clearly doesn’t fit in here. He’s like a ray of sunshine in the middle of the night. He waves happily. “I’m Bellamy.”
“Mine,” Shadow growls, nipping Bellamy’s earlobe.
Okay, possessiveness is a shared trait among hitmen. Good to know.
“Eggs are ready,” Phantom says. “Let’s eat.”
Everyone grabs platters and utensils, and I go to help, but Specter takes my elbow, holding me back and turning me to face him. The look on his face sends a shiver of concern up my spine, but something else flashing in his eyes makes my cock swell.
“Why were you looking at Shadow like that?” he asks through gritted teeth.
“Like what?”
“Are you attracted to him?”
I pull my head back slightly. “Oh my god. You’re jealous?” I scoff a laugh at that. “Wow.”
“Answer me, because you’re fucking mine, Cashmere. Got it? Mine.”
I pat his chest, ready to blow up, but I’m immediately disarmed. There’s no violence in his eyes. Nothing scary at all. That’s fear I see.
“I’m not remotely attracted to him. I find him terrifying and not in a hot way. If I was looking at him, it was nothing but me processing his energy.”
His shoulders drop and he blows out a breath. “Yeah,” he grunts. “Okay.”
“But you can apologize for being a total dick about it.”
His gaze darkens as he walks us back until I’m pressed against the hallway wall. “I don’t like to apologize for things that will probably happen again. When it comes to you, you can bet I’ll be jealous.”
“You need to learn to keep it in check. I’ll be dancing and—”
“I don’t care about that. They can look all they want. That’s it though.”
“On that we agree.” I rub my hand over his chest. “Come on, caveman. I’m hungry.”
A slight smile cracks his lips as he nods. Whew, we haven’t even kissed yet and this is how intense he is? What happens when I give myself over to this thing completely?
Annihilation, that’s what.
“Cashmere!” Rudy rushes over to me where I’m sitting at my dressing table and wraps his arms around me from behind, planting a big kiss on my cheek. “How are you?”
“Good.”
“Really?”
I nod, smiling. “Yeah. I promise.”
He studies my face. “You look beautiful. No bruising.”
“It’s under a shit ton of concealer but it’s healing.”
“I saw your man at his table. There’s another man with him too.”
“His friend.”
Wraith insisted on coming with us in case Specter was too distracted by me to notice his surroundings. I’m not sure that would happen, but it doesn’t hurt to have two men looking out for me.
“Specter talked to Gus and Mike, so everyone’s on alert.”
“Good.” Rudy pats my shoulder. “How’s the sex?”
“I wouldn’t know, darling.”
He gasps. “What? You haven’t climbed all over that masterpiece yet?”
I shake my head, focusing on my reflection. I’ve never talked to Rudy about anything major, but it would be kind of nice to have a friend right now. Just to process things.
“He’s a lot,” I whisper, impressed I managed words at all. I’m so closed off with people, but I know Rudy is a good person. “It’s kind of overwhelming.”
Rudy’s gaze softens and he nods. “I can see that. Is he nice though?”
“I don’t know if that’s the right word, but he treats me well. He’s kind of obsessed with me.”
“Obviously.”
“No, still. Even after being around me for three days, he’s the same.”
“And he hasn’t made a move at all?”
I shake my head. “He said he’ll wait for me to want it.”
Rudy fans himself with his hand. “Damn, sis. You have nerves of steel.”
“Not really,” I admit. “I want him, but I’m scared.”
“Of him?”