Chapter 15 Specter
Specter
“You are a stronger man than me, bror,” Wraith says to me when I return to the table.
“And why is that, brother?” I repeat the word he used in Norwegian.
“Several reasons. Keeping your hands to yourself while Cashmere is performing, not gouging out the eyes of every feral man in here licking their chops, keeping your dick in your pants. I don’t think I could.”
“The men watching don’t bother me.” I glance across the table, straightening the cuff of my trench. “I get off on it a little. They all want him, but he only really talks to me. He comes home with me.”
Wraith nods. “Yeah, I can get on board with that. He’s very talented.”
“Yes.”
“And pretty. I always thought you liked the more masculine men.”
I nod, lifting my gin glass to take a sip. “That’s true, but I was done for the minute I saw Cashmere’s face. I think it’s more than that though. His…” I shrug. “His aura, I guess. There’s nothing delicate about him.”
“Definitely not. There’s fire in his eyes.”
And in his kiss.
“You don’t have to stick around. I can handle it.”
“Who says I don’t want to?” He lifts his beer. “Sk?l.”
“Sk?l.” I tap his glass.
I settle in my chair, antsy. I want Cashmere to come back out and talk to me, but at the same time, Wraith is right. It’s difficult not to drag him home and finally get my hands on him the way I want to.
Another dancer appears on stage, and while Wraith is interested, I couldn’t care less. I tap my fingers on the table, and as Cashmere appears again, his body covered by his robe, I’m soothed. All the tension and anxiousness drifts away the closer he gets.
I get to my feet and pull a chair out for him. His smile is serene, as if we didn’t just share a life-altering moment backstage. He drops into the seat elegantly, crossing one long leg over the other.
“Hi, boys,” he purrs.
I suck in a breath through my nose, inhaling his soft scent. “Hi. What are you drinking?”
He shrugs. “Something fruity and fun.” He raises a hand and one of the servers bounces over.
“Hey, Cashmere,” the server says. “Whatcha drinking?”
“Hey, Bunny. Ask Les if he’ll make me the cocktail special from a week ago. Purple monster or something like that?”
“The Monsterfucker. Yeah. Be right back.” Bunny turns his gaze to me and Wraith. “You gentlemen doing good on drinks?”
“Yes,” I answer while Wraith looks around the server to watch the dancer onstage.
“Who is that?” Wraith asks, his voice unusually deep.
I turn to look at the stage, finally noticing the sultry dancer twirling around a pole.
Cashmere glances over his shoulder. “That’s Pebbles. He’s pretty new. Been here a couple days a week for about a month or two.”
“Mm-hmm. What do you know about Pebbles?”
“Nothing, but he’ll have a drink with you when his set is over if you want him to.”
“I want him to.”
I’ve never seen Wraith when he’s interested in someone before, and it’s almost amusing.
His normal laid-back vibe has been completely replaced by a tangible intensity right before my eyes.
I turn my head to focus on Pebbles for a moment.
He’s muscular and on the shorter side, but he’s obviously incredibly strong, holding the weight of his body with only his arms as he circles the pole.
From what I can tell under the lights, he has light-tan skin and dark hair, but I can’t see any other details. Apparently, Wraith can.
Cashmere clears his throat, regaining my attention. He’s not smiling, and honestly, he looks a little pissed off. “What are you looking at?”
A satisfied smile tugs at my lips, but I hold it back. “Just wanted to see who had captivated my friend, that’s all.” I lean closer. “You never have to be jealous.”
He scoffs. “Jealous? Please. If I’m gonna sit at your table, then I require all of your attention. That’s all,” he says, dragging out the final two words to emphasize that he’s echoing me.
Definitely not delicate.
“My apologies, goddess. I’ll make it up to you.”
“How’s that?”
“I already told you.”
“Tell me again.”
I lean in, closing the gap between us. “I’m going to worship you. Whatever you want from me, you can have. I’ll keep you in bed until you ask to leave.”
He swallows hard, his throat bobbing. “You’re setting high expectations, Specter.”
“I know what I’m doing. You should know something else too.”
He nods but we both pause as Bunny returns with his drink. I watch Cashmere sip his drink, attempting to neutralize his expressions, but I’ve studied his face so much that I can see every minute twitch and reaction.
“I’m listening.” He sets his glass on the table.
“I’m all in. When I want something, I get it, and I’ve never wanted anything more than I want you. So when I say worship, I mean it.”
A tiny crease appears between his sculpted brows, but then his face relaxes and he smiles. “I’ll tell you something too, then.”
I nod, practically drooling over his words.
“I’m not easy to please. I’m not like anyone you’ve ever been with, and if you say you’ll worship me, then I expect to have my mind blown. So you better bring your A-game.”
Challenging me to impress him? Cute.
“Game on, then.”
That’s when I notice Wraith watching me, a huge grin on his face. I roll my eyes.
“I have to mingle,” Cashmere says tightly.
“We’ll be here.” I brush my fingers against his on the table. “You’re safe.”
He nods, blowing out a slow breath as he gets to his feet. I watch him walk to another table with some younger guys at it. They look harmless enough, but I’ll keep an eye on things.
Wraith smacks my arm. “Thought you were just gonna lay him out on the table and fuck him in front of all of us.”
I huff a laugh, shaking my head but keeping my gaze trained on Cashmere.
I swear my lips are still tingling from that too-brief kiss backstage, and my dick has been half hard since he got onstage.
His body language is completely different at the other table than it is with me.
He’s more closed off, the way he used to be with me before I made it my mission to wear him down.
Now I know what his mouth tastes like, and by morning, I’ll know what the rest of him does too.
My phone buzzes in my pocket, startling me.
I pull it out at the same time Wraith flips his over on the table.
It’s a message in our group chat, Crestvale House.
Not the most original name, but we’re not exactly a group of guys brimming with creativity.
I remember Cashmere calling us murder buddies.
I could change the name to that for a laugh, but there’s pressing business at hand.
Shadow: Carnage and Whisper, check in.
Several dots appear on the bottom of the screen, but as a minute passes, then a second, I look up to meet Wraith’s equally concerned gaze.
“Where the fuck are they?” Wraith mutters.
Before true panic can set in, Carnage’s name pops up with a message.
Carnage: Here, boss. Whisper too. All good.
Shadow: What’s going on there?
Whisper: Minor explosion, police trucks and media everywhere. Mission aborted.
Shadow: Fuck. We need this done, but you guys are unharmed?
Carnage: Unharmed. Close call. I had my sights on the target right before the restaurant went up in flames.
Shadow: No casualties?
Carnage: Nah. Target is standing on the sidewalk next to a cop right now.
Whisper: We can follow him if you still want this done tonight.
Ghost: Need backup? I’m bored. Mine was too easy tonight.
Phantom: I need backup. Come hang with me, Ghosty.
I can practically hear Ghost roll his eyes. He and Phantom have the strangest relationship, always egging each other on, but almost always together too.
Carnage: No backup needed. We got it. Boss, what’s the order? Drop it or follow?
Shadow: Follow.
Carnage: Fuck yeah. We’ll update.
Shadow: Everyone else good?
Me: All good.
Wraith: Fantastisk.
Foster: Why are you fantastic? You getting laid right now?
Phantom: Foster, you need a code name, man. It’s jarring.
Foster: Still thinking on it. Joss said it should be something about being fast or efficient. Getting it done quick, you know.
Phantom: Hope that doesn’t reflect your sex life.
Foster: Fuck off.
He adds a laughing emoji.
Foster: Maybe Nimble. Is that dumb?
Whisper: I like it. Understated. Deceptive about how lethal you can be.
Foster: Yeah, okay. Maybe that.
The chat fades away and my eyes find Cashmere again, now at another table.
His gaze floats to me and he ever so subtly nods in acknowledgment.
He laughs at something a man says, but even from here, I can tell it’s manufactured.
He’s playing a role, nothing more. As each day passes, I get to see more of who he is behind the mask he wears so well.
Tonight, I’ll strip that mask off and reveal the man I’m longing to see. Admittedly, my interest started as nothing more than a physical ache, but now that I know a little bit more about him, I’m desperate for the rest of it. I want all of him, every drop.
“What’s your long-term plan?” Wraith asks, seemingly out of nowhere.
“About what?”
“Cashmere.”
I pull my head back slightly. “The fuck are you asking, man?”
“How long have I known you?” He leans back in his chair, stroking his beard. “Two years? Three?”
“Something like that.”
“Not once have I seen you get twisted over someone. Hell, I thought you were celibate for a while.”
I snort. “No.”
“But this is different. He’s different, yes?”
I half shrug. “Not sure where you’re going with this.”
“What will you do if you fall in love? Is that clear enough?”
“Love?” I practically spit the word. “Come on, friend. That’s not for people like us.”
“Oh, is there a rule book I missed?”
“I don’t think…” I pause as a million thoughts flood my brain. “What would you do if you fell in love?”
“Fuck if I know.” He grins at me. “I’m not saying you need to figure it out right now, but I wanted you to at least see it could be a possibility.
” Wraith leans across the table toward me.
“I know what this life is as much as you do. It’s not something you can tell everyone about or talk about with your boyfriend’s parents during the holidays. It’s unconventional, and I get that.”
“To put it mildly.”
“But sometimes…” A soft smile dances on his handsome face. “Sometimes I think about how it would feel to meet someone who makes you put all those impossible things aside and try anyway. There’s a chance that’s where you find yourself now, bror.”
I hadn’t considered what happens after I make him mine. I honestly didn’t know how long it would take, but tonight will change everything. By morning, he’ll never be without me again. Tonight he learns the full depth of my fascination with him.
“What does love even feel like?” I ask softly. “How would you know that’s what you feel?”
Wraith shakes his head. “I’m told you just know. So maybe you just do.”
“Yeah, maybe you just do.”
It doesn’t really matter to me whether I fall in love or not. I don’t know how love could be any different from the overwhelming need to keep him close to me, to touch him, to worship him. As long as he’s close, I don’t see a problem. If he needs declarations of love, I’ll figure it out.
All that matters is that he doesn’t leave. Ever.