Chapter 24 Colson
Colson
Shadow enters the rec room looking paler than usual. His dark eyes are trained on me, and a shiver runs down my back.
“Specter was shot.”
The words ricochet off me as my eyes sting. “What did you say?”
“He’s alive,” Shadow says, his voice tense. “The doctor is on the way.”
Bellamy grabs my hand and squeezes, but I feel like I’ve been sucked into a tunnel. This is not happening. It can’t be. I can’t lose him.
“Hey,” Shadow says, his hand falling to my shoulder. “We got him, okay?”
A man rushes in from the hallway. “Where is he?”
Shadow looks up. “On his way. ETA four minutes.”
“I’ll be downstairs.”
“Who is that?” Bellamy asks.
“Our doctor. We can’t exactly show up at hospitals in our line of work.”
My mind is racing, taking in information but not processing it at all. “What happened?” I finally manage to ask.
“I don’t know yet,” Shadow says.
Then I’m on my feet, rushing to the front door to be there when he arrives.
Carnage pulls in first in his oversized sedan, and I’m thankful when the back doors open and Wraith is there, supporting Specter’s weight.
Whisper joins him and they basically carry Specter up the drive, his head hanging forward limply.
He’s covered in so much blood. My throat tightens.
“Talk to him, Cashmere,” Wraith says. “Let him hear you.”
“I’m here, baby,” I whisper, rubbing his chest, ignoring the blood soaking my fingertips. “Can you open your eyes?”
“Col—” He coughs but his eyelids flutter open, and he smiles when he sees me. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“You can’t. You promised me.” I kiss his forehead even though it’s hard as we’re jostling him to get him down to the basement. “You have to stay, okay? You have to fight.”
“I’m fighting. I won’t leave you. I love you so fucking much.”
“Holy shit,” Wraith whispers.
“Put him here. I’m ready.” The guys lay Specter on a table and the doctor cuts his shirt off while I watch.
His entire torso is a bloody mess, making it difficult to see where the bullet went in. The doctor pours water over Specter to clear the blood away, then he yells, “Got it.”
I surge forward, needing to see how bad it is. “Is he gonna be okay?”
The doctor doesn’t answer me as he gets busy grabbing instruments to work on my man. I’m pulled back gently by Wraith, and Bellamy flanks me on the other side.
Specter shouts in pain, and I flinch in response. This man is so strong; it must be excruciating for him to respond that way.
“I’m here,” I mumble, then louder. “I’m here, Specter.”
“Colson,” he says, his arm outstretched and reaching for me. “I’m okay.”
After a few really intense minutes, the doctor looks over his shoulder, searching for someone until he finds Shadow.
“Clean shot in and out, missed his organs. He lost a lot of blood but he’s gonna be okay.”
Tears flood my eyes and roll down my face as soon as I hear the words.
“I gotta close the wounds and get him on some antibiotics, but he just needs to rest and heal. He was lucky. An inch to the left and we would’ve had problems. Whoever did this is a bad shot.”
“He’s okay?” I ask Wraith, who still looks concerned but nods.
“He’s gonna be pissed, but he’ll be fine.”
I wait impatiently while the doctor cleans and stitches the wounds. Then the guys help Specter to his feet, but he’s woozy.
“I gave him some pain meds,” the doctor explains. “He’ll sleep them off, but I’ll leave a few more in case he needs them.”
“He doesn’t like pain meds,” Shadow says.
“I know,” the doctor says. “But he’s never been shot before.” He pats Shadow’s shoulder. “Call me if anything changes, but he should heal well.”
“Thanks, Lev.”
“Let’s get him up to bed,” Wraith says.
I follow the guys up to Specter’s room, watching anxiously as they help him into bed. He murmurs something, reaching out still. I step forward and grab his hand and he smiles.
“Colson.”
“I’m here, mon tueur.”
“What does that mean?”
I brush his hair from his forehead, noting the flecks of blood dotting his handsome face. “My killer.”
He laughs softly. “Everything sounds sexier in French.”
“Yes, that’s true. Are you thirsty? Can I get you anything?”
“Just stay. Don’t leave.”
“I won’t.”
I climb into bed next to him, glancing at his brothers gathered around the bed. Wraith says something softly to the group and they all nod.
“Give me your cell phone number,” he says to me. “I’m adding you to the group chat so you can reach any of us at any time. Don’t hesitate.”
I nod, biting my bottom lip. “Okay.”
“We’ll all be here,” Nimble says. “If you need a break, just let us know. We can sit with him too.”
“I won’t need a break, but thank you.”
Thankfully, I have the next two days off too, and no intention of leaving this man’s side until I’m sure he’s out of the woods.
The guys filter out of the room. Shadow’s the last to go, his concerned eyes trained on Specter before he turns that intense gaze to me. I nod to acknowledge his unspoken words.
He’s safe with me.
Once we’re alone, I brush my fingers across Specter’s cheek. His eyes open slightly, then a bit wider when he sees me.
“Angel,” he whispers.
“Hardly.”
“Hérisson,” he mumbles.
“Yes, that’s better. Are you in pain?”
He shakes his head. “No. I’m floating.”
I smile. “That’s good.”
“Sorry I worried you.”
“It’s okay. Hazard of the job, I suppose.”
“Never happened before. None of us.”
That news calms my nerves a bit. He’s not out there getting shot at constantly.
“Something went down tonight. It was planned.”
“Are you sure?”
He nods, swallowing hard.
“You probably shouldn’t talk anymore. Just rest. I’ll be here when you wake up.”
“I’m supposed to take care of you.”
“And you do. So well. Now it’s my turn.”
I cuddle next to him, thankful that I’m not gonna lose him. It’s time I faced my own confusing emotions. He matters to me. More than anyone or anything since my parents died. I can’t deny how I feel anymore.
I love him.
And as soon as he’s well again, I’m going to tell him.
I roll over as the bed dips to find the space beside me empty.
Sitting up, I rub my groggy eyes, realizing Specter is up and in the bathroom.
I hear to the toilet flush and the water run, and then a few moments later, he’s standing in the doorway, smiling at me as though nothing happened just hours ago.
“Lay down.”
He shakes his head. “I need coffee. Want some?”
“Specter. Get back in bed.”
“I feel fine.”
Pinching the bridge of my nose, I shake my head. “I see you’re going to be a difficult patient.”
He chuckles, lifting his hand to drag it through his hair, but I catch the minute flinch. “It’s a flesh wound.”
“It’s a bullet wound that went right through your body. Get over here and lay down or face my wrath.”
Specter cocks his head. “Hmm. Kind of a tempting choice.”
“I’m serious. Let me take care of you.”
His gaze softens and he nods, shuffling back to the bed. Once he’s settled in, I lift his bandage to check his wound. It looks good; bruised as fuck, but the wound itself isn’t bad and he’s not bleeding anymore.
“You scared me,” I whisper, putting the bandage back in place.
“I’m sorry.”
“Do you remember what happened?”
He nods, his jaw clenching for a moment. “We were ambushed. They blocked the freeway and made it look like they needed help. I got out and the next thing I knew I was on the ground.”
“Jesus.”
“Everything’s hazy from there. I know the guys showed up and there was more shooting, but I don’t know what happened after that.”
“They got you here fast.”
He smiles, gazing up at me. “You’re so beautiful. I couldn’t think of anything but staying for you. I promised.”
“You did promise.” I play with his hair. “By the way, I’ve been added to the group chat. Crestvale House? Really? I’m totally changing it to Murder Buddies.”
Specter laughs softly. “I won’t stand in your way.”
Brushing my fingers over his cheek, my demeanor softens with the words I really need to get out. “I have to tell you something.”
His brow creases but he nods. “I’m listening.”
“All of this has been really confusing. And fast. My whole life is upside down from what it was before you were in it.”
“I know. Do you hate it?”
I shake my head. “No.” Reaching for his hand, I hold it to my chest. “It’s nice.”
“For me too.”
“A few hours ago I was faced with the possibility that it was already over.”
“Hey—”
“Let me finish, please.”
Specter nods.
“I realized I’ve been going through life unattached for so long because I was too scared to lose something again.
It held me back, but…” I pause to blow out a breath as my eyes sting with tears.
“You didn’t give me a choice. You burrowed your way in, past my defenses, past my pain, past every wall I had to keep my heart sheltered, and before I knew it, I was exposed. ”
I can tell he wants to say something from the way he purses his lips, but he keeps quiet.
“I thought it would be terrifying,” I admit.
“Feeling something again.” I squeeze his hand.
“And it is.” Laughing softly, I wipe my eyes.
“And that’s okay. Turns out it’s better to feel something than nothing at all.
When you were covered in blood and we didn’t know how bad it was, I realized that losing you would destroy me, but it was still a better outcome than never knowing you at all. ”
Specter’s lips part as his cheeks flush. “Colson…”
“I fought it as hard as I could, but my heart knew better. It knew before I did that I’m safe with you. I’m safe and I don’t want to resist anymore. I, um, I went and let myself fall in love.”
“You… you love me?”
I nod, sniffing and holding back tears. “Pretty sure that’s what this all-consuming feeling is, yeah. Your love is more powerful than my fear, and I’m grateful that you were so damn bossy.”
We both laugh softly as Specter opens his arms. I lie down, careful of his wound, and let him hold me. We lie together like that for a long time, and I wonder if he’s drifted back to sleep. He needs to. I could use a few more hours too.
When he wakes up again, I’ll help him bathe, I’ll feed him, and bring him anything he needs. He worships me, but I can reciprocate. I can show my love for him through actions.
“I love you,” Specter whispers.
“Say it again, please. Every time you do, another wound heals.”
“You’re gonna get sick of hearing it, then.”
“I don’t think I could.” It’s been more than a decade since I last heard it, and never romantically.
“I love you, Colson Diego Emmerich de Sousa.”
I gasp softly. “You remember my name.”
“There isn’t anything about you I’ve forgotten or ever will.”
I kiss his cheek, gazing into his eyes. “I’m gonna love you as hard as I can.”
Specter brushes his thumb across my cheek. “I’m gonna love you back.” He exhales slowly. “Antony.”
I blink, sorting through the non sequitur. “Your name is Antony?”
“My name is Specter, but I was born Antony. Abrigo. Technically it is my legal name, but I don’t know that person anymore.”
“Why are you telling me?”
“You bared your soul to me. I wanted you to know something I never talk about. Only Shadow knows my birth name.”
“Not even the guys?”
“No. I lost Antony a long time ago and I don’t mourn him anymore, but I want you to know me better than anyone else does.”
I press a kiss to his lips. “Thank you.”
“How do you say I love you in French?”
“J’taime.”
“J’taime,” he repeats in his cute, non-accented way. “I’m so crazy about you. As soon as I can, we’re gonna end this bullshit with your stalker and then start the rest of our lives together. Are you in?”
Cupping his face, I nod. “I’m so in.”