Chapter Sixteen — Trinity
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
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TRINITY
“I’m here,” Isolde called, rushing into the cushy room in Ocean’s house with a wall-sized television and more than enough blankets for three Omegas. “I’m here.”
She flopped on the couch, out of breath. “Now you can tell us everything.”
“Good. She’s been hiding shit,” Ocean said. “Took you long enough.”
Isolde stuck out her tongue. “Blame Trinity. She’s the one who said she wanted Rowan’s candy, so we had to swing by the house and grab some. Oh, and I didn’t know if you’d had time to grab an overnight bag, Rin, so I brought you some clothes.”
“Thank you. And you mean you don’t keep the special chocolates on hand at all times?”
“I mean… I work from home, so technically, yes? But no, we don’t carry them out to dinner.”
She held the box of edibles out to me, and I grabbed one. This was exactly what I needed today. After everything. Including the way they dropped me off.
In front of the gate, after Bastian insisted on driving my car for me.
He’d opened the door and helped me out before pinning me against the side of the car and kissing me again.
Even just the kiss showed me exactly who they were.
Bastian controlled every second of that kiss—how deep, how fast, where I was—and I loved it.
No matter if my brain told me I shouldn’t want something so… expansive.
“Stay safe,” he whispered against my lips. “Please.”
“I will.”
I watched their car until it was entirely gone before moving my car and coming inside. The way they felt like a safety blanket was incredible. But I didn’t trust it yet. Too many things were up in the air, and I knew all too well how quickly something could be ripped away from you.
“Earth to Rin,” Ocean said. “You okay?”
“Yup,” I said. “All good.”
“Yeah,” she laughed, “totally believe you on that one.”
Isolde pulled her hoodie up over her head and tossed it away. “Now spill. The good and the bad and the reason why you can’t stay at home?”
“Someone broke into my apartment.”
My friends went silent, staring. Ocean blinked. “You’re serious?”
“Yes.”
“Did you report it?”
“I will tomorrow. All I could do was freak out. I went to Dad’s house, and they were there.” All the rest came spilling out in a long wave of words that didn’t seem to stop until I reached into my bag and pulled out the stack of papers with all the kinky things on them.
“Ta-da!” I made jazz hands. “That’s everything.”
“I’m glad you came here,” Ocean said. “We do have the best security. But if the roles were reversed, I would have had a hard time leaving.”
“It wasn’t easy.”
“The break-in, though. You said things were broken and ripped. I know you didn’t look at everything, but it doesn’t sound like a random burglary.”
There are no accidents.
“I’d like to think it was random.”
Isolde pointed at me. “But? There’s a but there. What aren’t you telling us?”
In the chaos of the apartment, I hadn’t thought about the flash drive since I left the office. Barely twenty-four hours had passed since I’d had it. If the source was smart, it wasn’t a flash drive that would be missed. Whistleblowers covered their tracks out of necessity.
It was too fast to have been identified and targeted. Right?
But on the off chance I was wrong, I didn’t want my friends anywhere near it.
“I don’t want to say yet. There’s a small sliver of a possibility that it could have to do with an article I’m researching, but the timing is way off.
So I’m going to stick with random or someone mistaking my apartment for another one. ”
“What the hell are you researching?” Ocean asked.
“Oh. I forgot. Ocean, would you want to do a profile on Entendre? I think it would be a great piece for the magazine. I’ve been meaning to ask and keep forgetting.”
She narrowed her eyes. “Don’t think I didn’t notice you changing the subject there. But yes, absolutely, that would be fun.”
Wait—
“Didn’t you say after the whole thing happened with your aunt and uncle that your guys have a hacker on speed dial?”
Both my friends laughed, and Ocean nodded. “They do. Though I’m not sure I was supposed to tell you that.”
“Think they’d be willing to put me in touch? For reasons?”
“We can ask.”
Not even a minute later, Ocean’s blond Alpha—Cameron—strode into the room, aiming straight for Ocean. He leaned over the back of the couch and smiled down at her. “You rang, sweetheart?”
“I did.”
He kissed her lightly. “What do you need?”
“I might have accidentally told them about your hacker a while ago.”
Cameron laughed. “Well, I don’t know that Aiden would like being referred to as our hacker, but he’s not a secret.” He looked at the two of us. “We met in college, have been friends ever since, and it’s always good to have a hacker in your back pocket. Why?”
“Trinity said she might need him, but she won’t tell us why.”
I smirked. “You’ll be on my side here, Cameron. I don’t want them near something until I know it’s safe. I’m sure you agree?”
“Absolutely.”
“So I’ll take the hacker’s info and tell all of you why later.”
He chuckled again. “I’ll write it down for you.
He actually just moved here permanently.
Said he got tired of all the gray skies in Albion.
” Albion was a small island off the Europa coast, famous for its dreary weather.
Cameron continued, “Don’t know why the sky matters when he spends all his time on a computer, but… ”
“And you haven’t introduced me yet?” Ocean asked in mock horror. “Why not?”
“Aiden isn’t the most social person in the world.
Don’t get me wrong, he’s a charming fucker, but still a bit of a lone wolf.
We’ve been trying to get him over here, but we’ll have to go dig him out of his hole at some point.
I’ll grab that for you, Trinity,” he said before kissing Ocean and leaving.
“Let me see this list,” Isolde said. “I want to see why it’s more comprehensive.”
“Not yet. I need the chocolate to kick in first.”
She pinned me with a look. “If you need to be high before working on this, is it a good idea?”
“You were drunk when you did yours.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
“I just don’t want to overthink it,” I said. “I’m already in my head about what I really want, and I want to be able to cut through that shit without fighting myself every step of the way.”
“Why are you in your head about it?” Ocean asked.
“Because…” I sighed and pulled the blanket up to my neck. “Because it’s a lot, and I don’t know if it’s too much. I don’t know if it’s normal.”
“And normal is what?” Isolde asked. “A setting on a washing machine? You both know everything on my list and don’t judge me. We’re not going to do that to you.”
“I know.”
I did know, but…
My throat began to tighten, and I fought through it. Not right now. Not about this.
They waited for me to find my words. The silence wasn’t awkward. It was cozy.
“Here you go.” Cameron came in with a name written down and a number and email attached. Aiden Fletcher.
“Thank you.”
This was a piece of paper I didn’t want to lose. I put it carefully into my wallet. Maybe he could help me with the mysterious flash drive, since I doubted I could learn enough hacking skills to open it.
Once Cameron disappeared again, they looked at me expectantly.
I sighed. “My brain is going fast all the time. Like lightning speed. You know how I am. I lose track of things, I disappear into articles and research, and it’s hard sometimes. Especially since, you know,” I swallowed, “I live alone.
“Sometimes I think about how nice it would be to have another person who could make all the decisions so I don’t have to.
And I could lie and tell you that was it, but it’s not.
I’ve wanted something like that since I started having sex.
I don’t want to think. I don’t want to worry about knowing what someone wants.
I just want them to tell me to do something and then do it. ”
“That’s fine,” Isolde said. “I love when Cade takes all the decisions from me.”
“There’s more. And I’m holding you bitches to our ‘no such thing as TMI’ pledge, because we’ll need it.
Sometimes I just can’t focus enough to get there.
I don’t think it’s the same way as you, Isolde.
It’s like I want it, but I can’t keep myself interested.
I’ve literally fallen asleep and woken up with my vibrator still next to me, and no orgasm in sight. ”
Ocean snorted a laugh, and suddenly we were all laughing so hard we couldn’t breathe.
Isolde’s face turned redder than her hair as she gasped for breath.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, I’m not laughing at you but imagining waking up with your vibrator like it’s a snake in your bed is fucking hysterical. ”
I laughed with her because it was funny. Every time it happened I had to roll my eyes at myself.
“No, believe me, I get it. But like… the whole reason I told you that is because sometimes I just want to be held down so I have no choice but to enjoy it. So I don’t get distracted and fall asleep or forget what I’m supposed to be doing. And sometimes—”
I cut myself off, and Ocean shook her head. “No. We’ve come this far. Keep going.”
“For as long as I can remember, I’ve had fantasies about being at someone’s mercy. Because I want to be there. Sometimes,” I swallowed, “I just want to be… used.”
The word hung in the air like a ticking bomb. I’d never said that out loud. Just like I’d never told anyone but the Breaker Pack how much I wanted it.
“And I know it’s weird and maybe wrong. Believe me, I get it. But knowing that doesn’t make the fantasies go away.”
A few seconds passed before Isolde asked. “Why would that be wrong?”
I shrugged, not looking at either of them. “I don’t know. But most people I know don’t want to be— I’m not sure how to explain it.”